show me your scars (closed)

[endingpoint]

Who: Jane Doe + Kurt Weller
Where: Kurt's Room
When: Aug 22
Rating: PG-13, could get up to R for death/language.
Summary: Jane died, and Kurt says he's fine, but he's not.
The Story:

[ The nightmares have slowed down, at least a little. She still wakes up at least once a night, but it's not with screams anymore, and as long as he's beside her, she can fall right back to sleep. It means she hasn't left his place, has lived there since Wonderland turned back to normal. He hasn't said anything about it, and Jane hasn't either. She sleeps tucked against Kurt, every night, but now that she's sleeping more she can tell he isn't.

He says he's fine, but she knows he isn't. She knows what he's doing, that he thinks he has to be strong for her because of what happened; because she was murdered and he wasn't there. He couldn't keep her safe. He'd failed Taylor when he was ten years old, and now he'd failed Jane. She knows him, and she knows he's holding onto guilt that doesn't belong. The problem is, when she asks how he is, he says he's fine. He's not sleeping, but he's fine. He's drinking more, but he's fine. She asks him again tonight, quietly after being in the garden for a while and at his usual response, Jane finally pushes back, not accepting his answer. ]

You're not okay. Why are you lying to me? If you're going to hold me to the fire every time you think I'm not being honest about something, I deserve the same courtesy.

[ She's not angry when she says it, she just sounds sad. This happened, and she can't help him. But he can't keep bottling it up, because something will give, and it won't be good.]

You need to talk to me.

Comments

[endingpoint]

[ Wrapping around him, Jane rests her head on his chest. ]

I agree with you. Give it to her and then at least we'll know she's okay.

[startingpoint]

[ He knows he'll get too sleepy to talk soon, but he keeps up the conversation for now. ]

I'm sorry I put you through this.

[endingpoint]

There's no way to really know how to deal with this.

[ She closes her eyes and listens to the beating of his heart. ]

All I care about is that we're here right now.

[startingpoint]

[ He nods a little, kissing the top of her head and finally closing his eyes when the drowsiness creeps up on him and starts to pull him under. His hold on her is tight, though, not willing to let go. ]

[endingpoint]

[Jane fights to stay asleep until she knows he's out, trying to watch over him, and then she falls asleep, both of them needing this, badly.]

[startingpoint]

[ The day after Sarah spent the night with them, Kurt brings back burgers and fries from the diner for both he and Jane. They sit together on the couch to eat, watching a movie. Since purging his emotions and being open with Jane about everything, he's been sleeping better and eating more regularly again. He looks healthier, too; not as pale, no dark circles under his eyes anymore. ]

Jane. You and me. What this is between us - we should...talk.

[endingpoint]

[ She can't help it, the pattern of her life as she remembers it right now is: get good thing, watch good thing go up in flames. So, Jane tenses a little and doesn't look up at him as she sits forward on the couch to put down her book and then tighten the blanket around her shoulders. ]

Okay. What about, exactly?

[ Her voice is purposefully measured so she doesn't seem like she's freaking out already. ]

[startingpoint]

[ He knows her, though, and he reaches out to take her hand. ]

I've never felt like this. About anyone.

[endingpoint]

[ Well, that wasn't what she was expecting, and Jane does look at him now when he holds onto her hand. ]

I haven't either. It's good, right?

[ She knows that things are still really, really screwed up at home, but they've had months here together now. ]

[startingpoint]

Yeah. It's good. It's really good.

[ His thumb sweeps across her knuckles in a tender stroke. And then he smirks a little. ]

You called me baby.

[endingpoint]

I um...you were having a bad dream a while ago and I whispered it to you. It helped. I mean, I think it did. You stopped dreaming.

[ Jane's cheeks are a little red, not embarrassed, just never thinking it would really come up again. ]

[startingpoint]

It did. It does. Everything you do helps, Jane.

[endingpoint]

[ He says it and really believes it, and she finds herself believing it, too, smiling up at him. ]

So, this is okay? We're okay?

[ There is so much hope as she looks at him, and she's so in love. ]

[startingpoint]

We're okay. I just...wanted to say that. We never got a chance to talk about before everything...happened.

[ He reaches out then, stroking her hair and tucking strands behind her ear. ]

[endingpoint]

I know. And I know...everything moved really fast before that.
[ She looks up at him and for a second seems a little guilty. ]

You were still trying to figure out...us.

[startingpoint]

This is where we're at now. You're happy?

[endingpoint]

[ Jane smiles at him, and it's a smile that only he's seen. She's happy around other people, but this smile - this one is only for Kurt. ]

Yeah. I'm happy. I'm happy when I didn't think I could be.

[startingpoint]

[ She's actually smiling at him. After everything she's been through the last few weeks, she's smiling. ]

Then I'm happy.

[endingpoint]

[ Jane's hands reach out to cradle his face, her eyes moving over him as her thumb strokes the apple of his cheek. ]

I love you, Kurt.

[ And she knows what happened the last time she said it, so she doesn't want him to feel pressured into saying it. So instead, she kisses him softly before he has a chance to say anything at all. ]

[startingpoint]

[ He kisses her in return, stroking his fingers through her hair tenderly, and then he rests his forehead against hers. It's hard to say that out loud right now, but the love is there in every touch, every kiss. ]

[endingpoint]

[ She stays close to him, nuzzling her nose in against his. ]

I'm glad we're here. Right here.