| open | You can't wake up, this is not a dream

[readytocomply]

Who: Bucky and You
Where: All over the mansion
When: After the event
Rating: PG; will update if needed
Summary: An arm and a cat
The Story:

ɞ Closed to Alphys: stark's not an option

[They've discussed Alphys helping him replace the arm he'd lost for the second time, and today's finally the day they attach it. It meant Bucky had to open up and tell her about some of the concerns he had; being put under, triggers, restraints, and other things, but he was ready to do it. He'd already had it worked out with Steve so that if something goes wrong, he doesn't hurt her.

He meets her at her room, knocking.]

It's Bucky.

[Yeah, this is fine.]

ɞ Open to all: i don't know what to call her

[Wonderland's doing its best to mess with his head, but Bucky's found himself in the middle of a group of people that seem to know how to help even when he doesn't know exactly what's wrong. But when they aren't around, and his head's doing all the work on its own, Bucky realizes he could use some company. He borrows Steve's dog, Dodger, sometimes and pets him or catches an hour or two of sleep with Dodger's head in his lap.

It's what bring him to the conclusion that he should ask the closet for a pet of his own. Something strong, he asks. Something fast. Something that can take care of itself. He opens the door and this comes out. It looks sad and lonely and Bucky loves her immediately.]

I didn't do anything to her. She always looks that way.

[He tells the first person who greets him as he makes his way down the hall with the cat in his arms. She's curled up, wary of everyone that passes.]

I wanted to find someone that could tell me if she's healthy.

ɞ Open to all: there's two now

[Now that Alphys has helped him out in the arm department, Bucky heads out into Wonderland in search of something to do. He'll look for someone to spar with, or talk to, though he takes a bit of time to warm up to strangers still. Mainly, he'll want to test out the arm in small ways.]

[ooc: If you want to plot or hash out any details, just hit me up at what_he_needs. Feel free to come across Bucky with the cat or his new arm anywhere in the mansion.]

Comments

[readytocomply]

[Bucky's convinced that, while they're here, Steve could have that kind of peace. The people here that knew him also respected him, they were his friends, and if he asked, they'd give him that space. It didn't mean it'd last forever, or that Steve could stop being Captain America for long, but if he wanted to try, then Bucky'd support him the whole way. Just like he knew Steve would support him if he never wanted to fight again, no matter the circumstances calling for it.

His eyes flit up to meet Steve's, blue with a hint of green that hold him there. The way it made him feel to have his best friend here, putting some of his weight on him, looking at him in a way that makes Bucky feel like he deserves some of this - it makes him think that he's come home. Steve was right. The road might've been rough, and their paths separated for a time, but it'd always come right back to this.]

Never had the whole thing worked out, but.

[Bucky swallows, fingers flexing around Steve's hand. Touching isn't always easy but this time it is.]

Figured if I made it through the war, I'd come back to you. Probably look for factory work, maybe something at the docks. [Construction or general labor. Bucky never really thought too far ahead for himself.] You, though, you'd have done something great. Every time I thought of it, that's how it went.

Always were the smartest fella I knew and you were good with your art. If all this hadn't happened, you'd have still done somethin' amazing with your life, Steve.

[Bucky could have only hoped to come along for the ride.]

[assembles]

[ No one ever really had everything worked out, hard as they might try. In the end it was little more than a daydream. Steve's not sure that either of them actually expected to make it back home from the war, although they'd always talked like they would back then, because facing any other possibility couldn't be an option in their minds. All of them had been good at fooling themselves and the people around them, even as everything came crashing down.

Literally, in Steve's case, seeing how he'd crashed the Valkyrie into thick layers of ice.

What Bucky actually has to say is so simple that it's hard for Steve to even imagine it now. He's thought about what his life might have looked like if he'd never been picked up by Erskine for the experiment, but it seems like some faraway dream. As much as Bucky insists that Steve would have accomplished something either way, Steve himself knows that he would have never felt truly fulfilled in his life.

He sighs and bows his head, shaking it to himself. ] Guess we'll never know. But you probably would have been cut out for something a little more involved than factory work. [ He bumps his shoulder against Bucky's. ] Give yourself a little more credit.

[ They'll never live that kind of life, but that doesn't mean they can't make something from what they do have. Steve slides down further into the bed, finally calm enough that he thinks he might be able to make another attempt at sleep. ]

[readytocomply]

Maybe.

[Point was, Bucky couldn’t picture it because he’d never had aspirations for one particular career or job. There were small things he enjoyed, but nothing that amounted to anything. He’d never prepared for the future. He’d only known that he wanted to live his life as happy as he could with his best friend right there alongside him. His eyes flick to Steve when he slides down the bed and he instinctively begins to slip down next to him, only to freeze.

He goes rigid. Almost on his side with his back to Steve as if he was planning to stay right there with him the rest of the night.]

Sorry, I..

[Bucky wants to apologize. He doesn’t know what he was thinking.]

I’ll go now.

[Still not moving, tension creeps down his spine and curls up low in his stomach. Bucky hasn’t been this relaxed in a long time and he can feel it seeping back out of him in slow waves. He doesn’t even know what he’s doing or why he thought Steve would want him to stay after they’d finished talking.]

[assembles]

[ There's a time when Bucky had shared this bed with Steve every night, so the concept of him staying here now is hardly strange or awkward for him. If anything, it feels like putting a piece of the puzzle back into place, but they're clearly not on the same wavelength with any of this.

Steve doesn't mean to spook Bucky or to force him into anything, but if he's reading between the lines then he's pretty sure the only reason Bucky wouldn't stay is because he thinks Steve wouldn't want him there. Which couldn't be further from the truth, but he has to be gentle about this.

He shifts his body on the bed so that his front is facing Bucky's tensed-up back, and he reaches out slowly to grip his shoulder, the flesh-and-blood one. ] You don't have to go, you know. Only if you want to. [ His voices comes out quiet and encouraging.

Sleeping isn't always the easiest thing, as his sudden awakening has already proved. It would be nice to have a warm body next to him again, a presence there to help him sleep through the rest of the night without any incidents. ]

[readytocomply]

[The bed dips when Steve moves, and if he wasn’t tense before, he is now. He waits for it. The words to slip out of Steve’s mouth, telling him it’s better that he go. That it was good to have him there to talk, but they should get some sleep. Alone. It’s what he deserves, and while he might think the world of Steve and know his best friend wouldn’t ever try to purposefully hurt him, his mind always wants to tell him the opposite.

Those words don’t come, though, and he lets out a hard, shaky breath when Steve touches his shoulder. He breathes slowly, sits on the bed with his back to Steve, not moving so he doesn’t dislodge the hand on his shoulder. Not moving closer just yet. That fear is still there, but it’s softened by Steve’s encouragement and determination. More than that, all the worry he feels is dimmed under the weight of how Steve feels about him.]

I don’t want to.

[Bucky comes down on his side as he shifts back onto the bed. Curling up with the back of him to Steve’s front, but can’t quite get the courage to press up against him. Like this they’re close, but not as close as Bucky really wants.]

Can I stay the whole night?

[His voice is soft, low and quiet, and he’s still tense though he’s actively trying to get his body to relax.]

[assembles]

[ As expected, then. All it had taken was some sort of confirmation from Steve, and Bucky's laying down properly in the bed. Steve lets out a barely audible breath, relieved to have him here after what feels like a long wait. He's been patient, he thinks, but it seems almost inevitable that they'd end up back here.

Whether or not it's platonic, it doesn't really matter. They'd done this even as kids, setting couch cushions on the floor so they could lay side-by-side and talk all night. ]

Course you can, pal.

[ Their bodies are close to each other (two super-soldiers can only fit on a bed of this size so well), but not actually touching. Not for now, anyway. Steve doesn't see a point in pushing the issue, and he's fine to take this slowly. Just having Bucky there is enough to make him feel better about his chances of falling back to sleep. Dodger remains curled up between them, which only adds to the relative calm that's fallen over the room. ]

Good night, Bucky. [ Finally, Steve lets his eyes fall closed, lets his body ease into the mattress a little more. ] Sleep well.