entrancelogs | may old acquaintance be forgot

[hell was hard.

it was less to do with the atmosphere, the monsters, the destruction. she's used to an apocalypse where things want to eat your brain and people act with violence and mistrust first. she's been living in one, carved and remade by it. it was the darkness brought out more intensely by her there. it was the violence, the desire to survive at any cost (even if that meant leaving a friend to die).

it's late. most people are asleep but not this this apocalypse child. she can't sleep. her gun is in its holster, luke's hatchet in its own holster as she steps into the dining room. her hand remains on the gun as if she expects some attack, as if she's still on edge, and she is.

she hasn't quite lost the darkness from hell. the event's over but it woke what was already inside of her, what she has never had to acknowledge before. it's not new but her examination of it is new. she doesn't expect anyone else to be in the dining room at this late hour, and she stills.]

...hi. Didn't want to sneak up on you. [where she's from that could easily get someone killed accidentally, people react defensively]

[bruce got in right after hell, but he heard enough from people to imagine what it might have been like. it's every night in the streets of gotham, fighting monsters who were capable of horrific things. the joker and harley quinn. the scarecrow. two face. the mad hatter.

we're all mad here in wonderland perhaps but it hadn't been any better back home.

bruce isn't good at sleeping. or eating. without alfred to remind him of basic things it's been well...an adventure...and he's partly here in the dining room because he can't sleep and partly because he was starving.

thank god the plates provide them with food because he can't cook.

what he doesn't expect right now is company, let alone that of a child. his expression softens at her voice. ]

Luckily, it's not easy to sneak up on me.

[He usually tends to be the one who appears out of seemingly nowhere.]

That's good. Smart. Keeps you alive.

[clementine forces a breath through her lungs, forces herself to relax as she takes a few more steps forward until she's further inside of the cafeteria. she studies him from where she stands which is probably around 4 feet and some odd inches. she's good at reading people, which means she recognizes the softness in his expression immediately.

is it because she's young? sometimes she plays that to her advantage, but it's- it's less necessary to be all about sharp edged survival in wonderland.]

Even in Wonderland where Events sneak up on everyone. No matter how you try to prepare.

It has so far, anyway.

[His stealth abilities has saved his life on more than one occasion. he knows how to keep to the shadows, how to be invisible. many people in Gotham still don't believe he even exists. he's a fable. a myth. a demon who comes to save people in the dark.

no one ever expects he's just a man.

the softeness certainly has something to do with her age, Bruce has always had a soft spot for children. he knows how dangerous and lonely the world can be to them. how cruel it can be.

he became batman so no other child would have to lose their parents and while that's an impossible ideal it's something he holds tight to his chest and refuses to let go of.]

It's hard to prepare when the Eventa can be seemingly anything. Constant vigilance can only serve you so far.

[clementine nods. something she's learned like she's learned about being vigilant and aware and ready for an attack, ready for things to go to shit, ready for someone to stab her in the back if she has something they want or they need.

and someday she'll probably learn how to do the stabbing back so she can get what she needs to survive.

she tries not to think about that but wonderland gives her so much time to think.]

What do you do for the times it can't serve you?

How do you prepare for being unprepared?

[Bruce learned to stab back early. the world only makes sense if you force it too. but he had become too brutal, too dangerous over the years and he's trying to be better than that now.

it's hard though. that rage, that anger, the part of him that rails at a world that is consistently unjust will never be truly tamed.]

You learn to improvise. Sometimes the best thing you can do is think quickly and make the best with what you have to work with.

I've done that before. Think I just learned it because there was no other choice.

[It was improvise or die. She's done it lots of times before, but being locked in that shed, she had to find her own way out, find her own medicine and bandage out of whatever she could get her hands on, make a weapon out of a gardening tool when a walker tried to sneak in.

Clementine picks out warm apple cider in a cup from the closet, holding it in her hands.]

You're too young to have to make those kinds of choices.

[It's not said with any sort of condescension or even pity, it's merely a statement of fact. she is young and the world is cruel. he was eight when his parents were killed in front of him. the world can force children into unthinkable situations.]

But you should be proud of the fact that you managed to, not everyone does.

[Clementine locks her jaw a bit, and then she swallows. She appreciates how the words are given without pity, without acting like she's some little girl who doesn't get it. She gets it. If she had lived in another world, she wouldn't, but that's not the case.] The world's not always nice. You get that.

[She can tell.]

My world's full of walkers. ...zombies. You ever heard of them?

I learned that when I was much younger than you.

[Well, maybe not much. He's being a little dramatic. He does that.]

I've heard of them, though as far as I know they don't exist in my world. Not outside of fiction, anyway. But for you, they're real.

[Clementine nods seriously. It's not fun to learn at any time, but it really sucks to learn it as a kid. There's so much she never learned. There's so much school she's never gone to. She can perfectly shoot a gun, but she doesn't know how to drive a car.]

Yeah. They became real in my world about two years ago. Now the world's not... nice at all anymore. Everyone's fighting to survive all the time at any cost, and there's nothing else.

[It makes it hard to sleep. It makes it hard to relax, and she's been here for months now.]

[Bruce may know how to drive a car but there's plenty of things he doesn't know how to do thanks to his early childhood trauma, like cultivating healthy relationships or allowing himself to be happy.]

Sometimes survival is all you can manage, I'm sorry you have to deal with that.

[Villains are like weeds, pull two out and two more will spring up in Gotham. There is no reprieve from crime and suffering in Gotham and yet Bruce is luckier than a lot, even he knows that. His childhood home may be in ruins but he can afford another home. Food. He has other options than what he does, which is more what can be said for a lot of people in his city.

Crime is rarely caused by true villains and is often the result of systematic injustice, but those are much harder things to change.]

I'm sorry you learned what you did about the world too when you were a kid.

[Clementine can just recall what it was like before the walkers. She had her two loving parents, and they raised her to do good and treat people with kindness. Now treating people with kindness is- It's dangerous, because no one can be trusted. She wonders sometimes what they'd think of what she's become, what she'll continue to become the longer she survives.

Her gaze darts up to him, quiet, thoughtful.]

What's your world like?

Me too.

[He remembers the kid he was before his parents died. He was happy. Unaware of the evils of the world, the crime and ruin that plagued Gotham like a cancer, sucking the life out of everything.

He wonders too, what his parents would think of him, if they would be proud of the man he became. He wonders if he disappointed them, the way he must have surely disappointed Alfred.]

Dangerous, mostly. We don't have zombies but he we do have aliens and people with superhuman abilities, though they aren't always the enemy, they often help. But crime and corruption is a rampant problem in my world, especially in my city, Gotham.

That sounds like a lot to keep track of.

Crime and corruption like people doing really bad stuff like killing and stealing? Why do they do it? [In her world, she's gotten a hang of why people do bad things (why she does bad things). People are scared. People will try to survive. Not everyone can survive. Carver related the two of them, and it's not like she can't see what he was talking about, why he did what he did.

Would she ever get that bad? To kill so easily for the good of the 'group'? It's hard to think about so mostly, she doesn't.]

It can be, sometimes.

And yes, that's usually the case. Stealing, murder, embezzlement and corruption, those are common problems in Gotham. Some people end up that way because they feel like they have no options, they are in a system that failed them and they're trying to survive. Others are mentally unstable and don't see things the way we might. And others do it just because they think it's funny.

They're the most dangerous.

[Clementine gains a very thoughtful expression as she truly listens to what he says. It seems like even worlds without zombies mean people are doing whatever they can to survive. The funny thing? It sounds scary. It sounds like something she can't understand, and she's become pretty good at understanding people (part of survival),

and then she comes to one very clear, conclusion. Her voice is very serious when she says the words.]

Sounds exhausting. [She nods firmly.] Is everywhere like that where you're from or just Gotham?

[It is scary. Gotham can be a scary place. But it's familiar, and Bruce himself can be scary as well, he uses it to his advantage to scare off the people causing harm in his city. He's learned to harness that fear and make it into a weapon.

The darkness doesn't have to destroy, it can also protect.]

It can be. [He was so tired and so weary for so long it had made him jaded and misguided. He likes to think he's doing better now, for what it's worth.]

To certain extents, yes, but Gotahm is an extreme case.

[Clementine looks up at him then curious. She has her legs pulled in as she sits on the chair, short enough that she's able to do that.]

Why do you stay? [If it's extreme in the bad, in the evil, in all the crime.]

[His voice is filled with conviction as he speaks.]

It's my home. I love Gotham, I love it enough that I want to fight for it. It can be better. [Perhaps it's fighting a losing battle, he's often felt that way, but he can't imagine living anyplace else. The Waynes are in Gotham's DNA and Gotham is in his DNA in turn. If there's anything he believes in it's that there is still good in his city.

There's something worth fighting for beyond all the crime and corruption.]

I can't abandon it, I can't abandon the people there who need help, just because it's easier.

[Clementine quiets as she stares at her own two hands. How does she know so many people who are willing to do what is right? Willing to sacrifice for other people? Willing to be heroes in worlds that fight them on it? Her jaw locks, and she presses her hands together tightly. Iris, Georgia.

She's only just met Bruce but- Him too.

And she's not.]

Sounds like you're a hero.

Most people just try to survive. Whatever that means.

[she's included in that. she's not good.]

I'm not a hero. I'm just trying to keep anyone from going through what I did.

[He's far too damaged to ever be a normal person, at least he's found a useful outlet for his trauma, for his anger and rage. But he's made mistakes, monumental ones, and he would never glorify his own actions.

He's not a hero. Not like how she thinks he is.]

Surviving is important, that can be a hard thing to do in the world, considering what you have to deal with in your world, I'm sure that's included some hard choices.

You should be proud that you've managed to survive.

[it still seems heroic to clementine, but she has a skewed version of heroism. heroes aren't perfect. a hero is lee who tried and fought hard no matter what to keep her safe. a hero is christa who showed her the way even after all she'd lost.

clementine's hands become fists.

survivors become criminals where he's from, and she gets that. where's the line? she's done terrible things in order to survive. sometimes it wasn't even about surviving. it just happened. blood's on her hands, not just walker blood.]

People taught me how to survive. They're dead now. Sorta feels like I owe them.

[to keep going, to use all they taught her and then some.] I'm Clementine. Thanks for talking to me like I'm not just a kid.

[heroes probably don't try to kill other heroes, which is definitely something he did not so long ago. clark was a hero. he died for everyone, for a better world. bruce isn't that noble. he's just trying to force a world that is senselessness to make sense.

he's been doing that for a long time.

sometimes he thinks it's too long, he doesn't understand how he's managed to live so long when everyone else seems to die all the time but he's a survivor. it's in his dna. all he has is his fists and his mind. ]

It can be difficult, when you feel like that debt is owed to someone. I hope you don't let it weigh you down too heavily.

[like he does. the waynes have been around a long time. he is the last one. what is his legacy going to be? in the long run, did anything he did manner?

he hopes so. these days he's better at seeing that the little differences matter as much as the big ones.]

Bruce Wayne. And of course. People forget that children are people too, no one likes to be talked down to.

[And many kids in the world are forced to grow up far too quickly.]

may old acquaintance be forgot

with my life howling the same, did I have to live this way

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sob

it's fine it's just raining on my face