(open) there's miles between what we say and what we mean

[stefanged]

Who: Stefan Salvatore and you!!
Where: All over the mansion
When: The month of December
Rating: PG
Summary: Stefan's rediscovering himself - and probably setting himself up for failure in the process. Also includes a couple of closed starters.

The Story:
a) press start to continue (open to all!)

[After hanging out with Elena in the Youth Center, Stefan drops by later to peruse their video game selection. He can't remember if he likes them. He also can't remember if he hates them. So he's going through the entire selection - one by one - and wasting almost an entire day in here, keeping copious notes on each genre and what he likes and what he doesn't. His notes grow progressively messier and more tea-stained as the day grows on.

> FARMING SIMULATION: hard pass. girls are hard to please. also what the hell is a blue feather???
> RHYTHM GAMES: okay?? maybe??
> BEAT 'EM UPS: bring them on.
> CITY BUILDER: VERY HARD PASS.

If he's not actively wasting his entire immortal existence in front of a screen, he's alternatively exploring the Chapel, kneeling down and murmuring a broken, quiet prayer to whoever might be listening.

He's not terribly sure of what he's saying, but he stops every now and then, just to gauge how he feels. It's hard for him to tell.

Or maybe you've caught him in the kitchen, with a whole assortment of snacks and beverages. Once again, there's copious notes, and he's scribbling down how he feels. Soda's okay, orange juice is decent, but he sure can't say he likes chocolate milk (blasphemy).

He's gonna be all around Wonderland this month, trying out things new and old, so even if you don't catch him here, give him a wildcard and see what sticks.]

b) you get in your own way (closed to Cami)

[Stefan's tired of pretending that he's okay.

He can't give himself advice when he's stuck in an eternal rut, and he sure can't find inner wisdom in his diary entries. He'd picked up a new one, while he was browsing his closet, and the whole thing feels so hollow.

He's not the old Stefan. He can't pour out his entire heart, and he sure can't see a point in keeping a permanent record. He can, however, see the point in seeking therapy - in seeking an outside, uninvolved third party for said guidance.

So he makes his way towards the Therapy Office and takes a deep breath as he knocks on the door. Out of habit, because he keeps forgetting that he's a vampire:] Um, hello? Is anyone there?

c) apple pie in the sky hopes (closed to Barry)

[After their first successful coffee shop visit, Stefan's determined to master the secret to decent closet pie.

So he's invited Barry to visit his bedroom and teach him the secrets of pie whispering. Pizza pie whispering? Either way, this is a mystery he's determined to unlock, and he'll do the Frank Hardy thing to uncover this treasure trove.

He leans back on his bed, with his back pressed against the wall,] So how does this go? Is there a specific combination or phrase I should be thinking of?

Comments

[stefanged]

Unfortunately. I hit the ground running from day one and haven't cared to look back.

[He pauses, reaching for a nearby barstool and making himself comfortable.]

Um, I should confess. I'm not the Stefan that was here earlier.

[deathlessness]

I know.

[She smirks slightly, amused enough to have picked up the differences.]

From what I was told, that Stefan had a rather unfortunate encounter with my mirror before he disappeared. I don't believe he would have treated me quite so casually.

[stefanged]

If it was that bad? Definitely not. Mirrors are like doppelgangers, from what I understand. Shadow selves that shouldn't exist?

[He's fully aware that he's putting himself in that category, but at this point, his status as Silas's descendant is public knowledge. He figures, better to own it and act like one than to keep it under a broken lock and key.]

[deathlessness]

[She tips her head to the side as she considers for a moment, before shaking her head.]

Not exactly. Doppelgangers in the terms of our universe are never the same person, with the same memories and experiences. Elena is not the same as Katherine, nor are you the same as Silas.

The mirrors here are us, only they ... have chosen the road diverged.

[stefanged]

Hm, so they really are alternate selves.

[Like the lovey-dovey him that had briefly appeared, all the way back in September. Stefan frowns - he knows how much Elena and Damon seemed to respect that other him, and he half-wonders if his Mirror would've garnered the same respect.]

Have you had the misfortune of running into one of them?

[deathlessness]

A few. None that were particularly cruel or vindictive, and I can't say I've had the pleasure of meeting mine.

[Her mirror just likes to make things complicated, apparently.]

[stefanged]

That's probably for the best.

[While he'd probably want a front-row seat to that showdown, he can't imagine it'll be pretty.]

I haven't met mine either. Based on what I've heard about them, I'm not sure I ever want to.

[deathlessness]

[She shrugs.]

Some of them are lovely. I suppose it depends on who they're mirroring.

[stefanged]

Aren't mirrors supposed to be total opposites, though? If they're perfectly nice, then the "real" may not be a great guy.

[He's gonna reach for one of his drinks, just bc they're cold to the touch.]

[deathlessness]

[She shakes her head.]

It's not as black and white as that, I don't think. I wouldn't consider what I've heard of my mirror to be my polar opposite. She simply made different choices.

[stefanged]

Hm. You mean the road not taken?

[He doesn't know how to feel about that. He may not remember his choices, but he can safely think that he made the best-possible ones available.]

Nothing's ever that black and white, though between you and me? I think people here like to pretend otherwise.

[deathlessness]

I think there are people here who come from worlds far simpler than ours.

[She can't think of any supernatural creature who doesn't live in the shades of gray. To live in their world is to have your innocence taken from you, and no one manages to get away clean.]

[stefanged]

I'm almost jealous. Their roles sound way more defined than ours would ever be.

[He caves into temptation, finally, and takes a sip of that cold drink. He also, coincidentally, makes a huge face because he sure can't stand its sugary-sweet taste.]

[deathlessness]

I think having a defined role has never really been a problem for me.

[She was a Mikaelson Witch. She was the Mikaelson Witch. She had a birthright that she could feel in her bones and expectations that came with the name and the family.]

It's always been a matter of struggling with the people who tried to define it for me.

[stefanged]

Ah. Is that still an issue here? I mean, it shouldn't be if it's just your siblings and Bonnie.

[He knows, from his old journals, that he had once suffered the opposite problem: he had tried to force a role upon himself that never existed to begin with. Stefan's more than the "Good Brother."

He just wishes he knew what that was.]

[deathlessness]

[She shakes her head.]

The person who did is not here and very dead.

[What she doesn't want to admit is that in a lot of ways she's still figuring out who she is. She thought she knew, but it turns out that stepping out of Dahlia's shadow has left room for shades of gray she hadn't been prepared for.]

So I'm free to ... be myself. Whoever that may be.

[stefanged]

[So they're both discovering who they really are. Stefan's expression softens considerably.]

I'm sure you'll find her in time. [his voice grows softer, almost conspiratorial:] If it helps? Most of us don't really know who we are anyway.

[deathlessness]

[She smirks a bit at that, before leaning forward to match his stance.]

I'll keep that in mind.

[But it does help, a little, even if she feels a bit behind the ball, given how old she is.]

[stefanged]

You'd better. As much as I like finding myself, it can get kinda lonely.

[He could theoretically ask his brother, but he's afraid (even now) that Damon didn't mean what he had said, and that Damon would subconsciously box him into some role Stefan was never meant to play.]

If you're free, I was uh, actually trying to figure out what my favorite food was.

[deathlessness]

Always a worthwhile endeavor.

[She makes her way around the counter to eye the options he had in front of him curiously.]

Do you cook?

[Because if that is the case, she will totally hang out and mooch on whatever he happens to be making for himself.]

[stefanged]

I try to cook. From what I understand, I'm best at Italian dishes.

[Which, duh, he's a Salvatore. His Italian roots are gonna demand that kind of culinary prowess.]

That said? I can't make anything without a recipe in front of me.

[deathlessness]

[Hmmm. Freya considers for a moment before moving to one of the closets and closing her eyes for a moment of focus. And after a moment she pulls out a recipe card and places it on the counter in front of him.]

Grilled chicken risotto. How does that sound?

[stefanged]

Perfect, actually.

[He rolls up his sleeves, already rummaging around for various bowls and ingredients they'll need. Stefan may not remember cooking, let alone the chemistry of it - but he can follow a recipe to the letter.]

So which would you rather be: sous-chef or taste-tester?

[deathlessness]

Definitely the latter.

[She shakes her head.]

Unless it involves something simple, like chopping things.

[stefanged]

Hm... In that case, you can sit back and watch me work.

[Stefan laughs, keeping that in the back of his mind as he sets everything necessary on the countertop. Freya's far from the first who's told him that, and part of Stefan wonders how often he did cook back home.]

But uh, I wouldn't mind some wine to go with it. [He peers again at the recipe card.] We'll consider it a tag-team effort: I grab the food, and you grab the drink?

[The work seems equal in his head - and this way, he'll have company on his culinary journeys (because this isn't gonna be anywhere near their last).]