[CLOSED] ▫ 等不到天黑 不敢凋謝的花蕾… ▫

[jivitadana]

Who: Seta Souji [eatsyourscience] and Arisato Minato [jivitadana]
Where: Sixth Floor, Room 101
When: Wednesday, January 18 evening
Rating: PG at most for conversation
Summary: There's a slight problem with being alive when one's supposed to be dead
The Story:

It wasn't supposed to go this way.

Minato had considered himself fortunate. The past year at home had been the best year, his most memorable and happiest year. He had forged so many unbreakable bonds. He and his friends had accomplished something greater than anything they could have ever imagined. And in the end, he had found the answer to life's greatest question. Not a lot of people could say that. There wasn't much more he could ask for and nothing else that he wanted.

But then again, Wonderland hadn't factored into his life at all then.

But now that it had, it had opened too many new doors. Everything was supposed to come to a complete close. His journey had a distinct start and an even clearer finish, defined by those parameters and within the boundaries of the one-year span in the form of a contract. Those new doors though inevitably led to too many new questions that Minato didn't ever have to consider until now. After that one year, Minato was left with only one responsibility. It was an important responsibility, and he had no intention at all of ever thinking that it wasn't.

He had almost no choice. He did choose to give up his soul and become the Great Seal. He would do it again in a heartbeat. Choosing not to do that would eliminate everything and everyone that made his last year so precious.

The problem now though was that he was alive.

He was alive and could now look back at what he had done, analyze every detail about it, scrutinize all the factors that led up to his decision, replay it in his head. He thought it was intriguing that even though something inside of him, close to his heart, mind and, of course, deep in his soul, told him that looking back wasn't always the best idea, he had to do so now. Did he have much choice?

He was alive. It was like cheating. It wasn't supposed to go this way.

Minato hadn't left his room after the event that left him without his Evoker and had bombarded him with visions out of the past, a life lived through endless war and by the sword. There was no explanation for his absence where there should have been one. He could save the explanation by having it spoken instead. For once. He didn't need it documented on an impersonal electronic device either.

If it had to be documented, it could be scrawled on the one place that he never even dreamed could or would exist: The other sea of the soul.

But not right now.

A slow breath left him as he looked out the window, the snow on the ground, the sky going from clear blue to tinged with orange from the setting sun, his hand holding the curtain open. He had his silver earphones on, his mp3 player going through the tracks at random, but as much as he liked his music, he wasn't really listening. Instead he ended up thinking instead, thinking along the lines of his first day here, that he could actually think, see, hear, breathe, just everything to indicate that he was alive. He had his soul and parts of it restored to him too. He couldn't imagine either what it meant then when his soul needed to be elsewhere.

Being alive too meant that he could dream about it. He could dream about where he was supposed to be right now.

It really wasn't supposed to go this way.

Comments

[eatsyourscience]

Souji's grip on Minato's shoulders was firm, but he hoped not oppressive to him.

"You deserve the rest of your life."

Souji believed that wholeheartedly.

[jivitadana]

It wasn't. Minato knew though that he wasn't going to win this argument. He nodded and then lowered his head. But he did touch his hand to one of Souji's on his shoulder.

"Thank you."

When he was at the Door, he would just wait then. If Souji never came, then Minato would just continue his post. But if Souji did? He didn't want to get his hopes up, but he couldn't just crush Souji's either. But maybe, just maybe, he could have hope too.

"That makes me happy."

[eatsyourscience]

Souji's expression softened, if it could get softer.

"I want you to be." It didn't have to be Souji who evoked that happiness, he wanted Minato to be happy.

[jivitadana]

"I want you to be too."

Minato slowly got up and didn't want to dislodge Souji's hands. But he did wrap his arms around Souji now as best as he could.

"But why me?"

He should have asked before. He felt like he was acting like he deserved to be loved or to have all of this happen to him. That he should be so lucky. But he shouldn't have been so arrogant about it.

[eatsyourscience]

"You're Arisato Minato." Souji shifted his hands and arms to hug Minato back.

That answer was a bit of a cop out and he had to pause to gather his thoughts.

"You've done so much. Everything people asked of you and things no one did, things no one even knew needed to be done. You, of anyone, deserve to be happy. Even if it's just for now and just here."

[jivitadana]

Minato thought that he had to do all of that. He had his reasons for it. But his own happiness wasn't something he had ever really thought of, and when he did, especially now, he couldn't help but feel like being happy was just wrong. He had felt guilty over being happy.

He had to slowly break through that, like breaking through his shell or shield. Like how he was thinking that it was okay to have hope. And Souji was the one who gave him all of that.

"You make me happy." Minato hugged Souji tighter. "You should be just as happy too."

After pausing for a second or two and burying his face into Souji's chest again just to give himself time to thin, he spoke again.

"I want to be the one to make you happy... if it's okay."

[eatsyourscience]

Souji's eyes widened. He had never felt Minato's sense of guilt over being happy, but he did have a certain resignation in him about happiness. Or he had until his journey had finished.

"It's okay."

He didn't know if Minato's words meant what they sounded like, and he didn't want to assume that they did.

[jivitadana]

Minato nuzzled into Souji's chest. It was warm here. He always thought that whenever he was close to Souji.

"Really?"

He smiled and then tilted his head up to look at Souji.

"Can I start right now?"

[eatsyourscience]

Souji's arms tightened around Minato and he nodded against the side of his head. "It's okay."

He was repeating himself, but he felt at a loss for anything else to say. The moment felt oddly outside of time, even more than Wonderland usually did.

[jivitadana]

Minato hugged tighter too. When Souji was so close, he didn't want to let him go.

He had something to tell Souji though, and he had to figure out how to do that without breaking their embrace.

But they were close. Minato could rely on that, and then whispered what he wanted to say. That Souji meant so much to him. That Souji didn't have to do anything for him, but he still did, and Minato was grateful. That he wanted Souji to be happy and that he wanted to make sure that Souji was because of how much he cared for him. How much he liked him too.

[eatsyourscience]

Souji closed his eyes. Minato wanted to make him happy and he was. He felt like he might dissolve under its weight.

"Thank you."

[jivitadana]

"You're cute."

Minato smiled to himself, his fingers curling into Souji's shirt at his back. He hugged Souji a little more that way before relaxing.

"You do know what this means, right?"

[eatsyourscience]

When Minato relaxed, Souji backed off a little so that he could look him in the face. He wondered if he shone when he looked at him - he felt like he was shining.

"What's that?"

[jivitadana]

If Souji was shining, then Minato was doing his own twinkling then.

"I get to ask you out on dates. ... Oh, catch me."

Minato jumped up so that Souji to catch him in his arms.

[eatsyourscience]

Surprised, Souji moved instinctively to catch him, arms out to cradle Minato. He grunted at the sudden weight, but lifted him without much trouble. He shifted his balance and turned his head to look at Minato.

"Just don't do that too often, okay?"

He'd always catch Minato if he could, though.

[jivitadana]

Minato wouldn't. He got his arms around Souji now for balance.

"Thank you for being so good to me."

He leaned his head now at Souji's shoulder and neck, the crook of it there. He could stay here forever. He didn't have forever, but if he did, then where he wanted to be was with Souji.

[eatsyourscience]

Souji would have petted Minato's hair if he'd had a free hand. Instead, he turned and set Minato down on his bed.

"Do you feel okay now?"

Not necessarily great, but better.

[jivitadana]

Minato tugged on Souji's sleeve to have him at least sit on the bed with him. He nodded. He did feel better. He was happy. The dreams about where he should be would be inevitable. But when he woke up, he would be here and alive.

"I should ask that of you."

He had to protect Souji. He had to do everything he could for him, and even on top of that, he had no way of repaying him at all.

He didn't know either when he would stop feeling like he was taking advantage of Souji's kindness.

[eatsyourscience]

Souji sat down next to Minato where he'd laid him down.

"I'm happy."

He wasn't grinning, or anything. Souji only very rarely did anything like that. But he was telling the truth. He was happy. He felt warm.

[jivitadana]

Minato didn't let go of Souji's sleeve even when Souji was already seated.

"I'm happy too. And don't forget, I'm taking you out on a date."

Several of them. Minato had some ideas already. He thought that he had time though to spend with Souji. He had to believe that this place could be kind enough to keep him for as long as he wanted.

[eatsyourscience]

"I remember." Souji laid down beside Minato. "I'll take you on one, too."

[jivitadana]

Minato shifted over so Souji could have more room on the bed itself, but then scooted back to be close to him again.

"You will?" He smiled, brighter than the ones he had given Souji before. "Where?" But Minato was fine with being surprised too. He thought maybe he preferred that too.

[eatsyourscience]

Souji got an arm around Minato. "Let's make origami together."

It wasn't a euphemism, but he was fine with it being heard that way.

[jivitadana]

Minato's smile was warm and also a bit playful. He reached his hand up to comb his fingers through some of Souji's hair.

"I'll make it with you any time."

[eatsyourscience]

Souji laughed softly, a rare sound. He was happier than he perhaps let on and shifted a little, turning onto his side to face Minato.