OPEN } i'm gonna set things straight again, i'm gonna prove them wrong

[krmvgivv]

Who: Dipper Pines and YOU
Where: Out and around the hot springs
When: at night when the GHOSTS are out
Rating: G for GHOSTS
Summary: Dipper can't relax like a normal person, so he's out hunting GHOSTS!
The Story:

[The hot springs are all very nice (if a little more naked than Dipper is comfortable with in his swimming), but he's way more interested in the rumors that this place is haunted. His last ghost encounter didn't go so well, but he knows a lot more about ghosts now. He knows a lot more about everything.

Well, possibly not about the yukata. He's definitely wearing it wrong, and he's got his shorts on underneath. It feels weird otherwise. Well, weirder. He'd really prefer a shirt.

But it doesn't matter. He's ready for any ghosts that come his way. He's got anointed water, he's got a sensor to try and catch ghostly readings, and he's got his journal. Time to set a few traps and hope he can catch the ghost by the time the event ends. Sure, it means not sleeping much, since obviously nighttime is when ghosts are most common, and it means not enjoying the relaxing vacation but, well, vacations aren't nearly as interesting as ghosts are, and it's not like he was sleeping anyway. Slumber parties are the worst, even when it's boys, not girls.]

Comments

[singloversing]

[Wirt is definitely not even a little comfortable with how they're supposed to be using the hot springs. The concept is nice in theory, but he is definitely not going to be disrobing in front of anyone if he can help it. Taking a bath with other people is just mortifying, and Wirt refuses.

Unfortunately, he also wants to not be gross and disgusting, and his only option for that is hot spring...which is why he's sneaking off to it at one in the morning. Surely everyone else will be asleep and he'll be the only one there and no one will be the wiser. It's a perfect plan.

He might not stand out quite as much without his usual hat and cape, but he has his yukata wrapped (incorrectly, right over left) tightly around him and he's trying to be as quiet as possible as he sneaks down the hall. He wouldn't want to wake anyone up, after all - they might realize what he was doing and that would be absolutely mortifying.]

[krmvgivv]

[Luckily, he doesn't have to wake Dipper up. Dipper's been up all night, stalking the halls and trying to find ghosts.

This is not the greatest plan he's ever had. An overtired Dipper makes mistakes. Like eating his own shirt or making deals with demons. He's not quite at that point yet, since it's just been one night, but he is tired enough that when he sees a flicker of movement, he's certain that it's finally time, finally the ghost he's been waiting for.]

DIE YOU HORRIBLE UNDEAD SPIRIT! ....AGAIN, SINCE YOU'RE ALREADY DEAD!

[Watch out, Wirt, you have a water balloon filled with anointed water going straight at your face.]

[singloversing]

Wha-

[It's too late. The water balloon collides with his face mid-sentence and absolutely soaks him. He shakes his head and coughs, spitting out any water that got in his mouth, and when he looks at the culprit...oh. Of course it's Dipper.]

Really? Really? [Then he sighs because yes, really.] I-I'm not a spirit, or...or undead, or whatever.

[This time though, he wisely decides not to mention the previous gnome accusations right away.]

[krmvgivv]

[At least this time Dipper seems to believe him, though he does look disappointed.] Aww, man, that was my last water balloon. [Dipper grabs a towel from the stack he's been keeping on hand since his first accidental human water dousing and tosses it at Wirt.]

Maybe it's not haunting the hot springs themselves.

[singloversing]

[Well. At least Dipper got Wirt a towel. Wirt quickly dries off, but his poor hair is sticking out in absolutely every direction. He knows that's the case and he tries to flatten it with his hand but it's no use at all without a brush, so he just gives up and drapes the towel around his neck like an untied scarf.]

What, that...that ghost thing? [He feels like he heard about that somewhere earlier. ...Probably from Dipper, actually. He's pretty tired (though admittedly the water balloon did a great job waking him up).] What else would it even be haunting? The hot spring is kind of the only place here, right?

[A pause, as it sinks in.] ...Wait, why are you even picking fights with ghosts anyway?

[krmvgivv]

I'm not picking a fight. I'm just trying to find it. And... exorcise it, probably. [He shrugs a shoulder. What else would he be doing with the ghost.] It could be haunting the rooms, right? I mean, you'd think someone would have seen it by now but ghosts are pretty sneaky. Maybe everyone's just missed it.

[singloversing]

Uh...huh. So, how is exorcising a ghost different from picking a fight with one, exactly?

[Because it sure sounds like picking a fight to Wirt.]

[krmvgivv]

Well, being trapped on this plane of existence rather than moving on to whatever's next isn't exactly a good thing. We're doing them a favor, really.

[singloversing]

...Oh. Right. I guess that's kind of bad.

[Why does he have this weird feeling of déjà vu though? He's pretty sure he's never had this conversation before...unable to think of a good reason behind it, he shrugs it off.]

Maybe you could...I-I dunno. Talk to them, or something? Shouting for them to die a second time seems...kind of needlessly antagonistic.

[krmvgivv]

....oh. I might have gotten carried away. [He looks slightly embarrassed, at least. But only slightly.] Hunting ghosts, you know? It's pretty exciting!

[singloversing]

I guess so? I-I don't usually go looking for that kind of excitement, to be honest. [Wirt sighs.] Lately it's been finding me anyway though...

[He definitely doesn't sound thrilled about it.]

[krmvgivv]

...You don't look as excited about it as I would be. [What is wrong with you, Wirt. Why don't you want to chase after ghosts and magic?]

[singloversing]

Well...I'm not. Is it really that weird?

[He's feeling kind of defensive about it, now that Dipper's pointed it out.]

I mean, things like that are dangerous. I-I've met skeletons that had weird, creepy harvest festivals, and there was this Beast out in the woods...it's not really something I'd want to have to deal with if I didn't want to.

[krmvgivv]

....but that all sounds so interesting. What kind of beast? Can you describe it? [Dipper already has the journal out, flipping through the pages to see if he can find any mention of any of these things.] I raised zombies once by accident but they didn't have any kinds of festivals. They just... wanted to eat my brains.

[singloversing]

N-Not...really? No one really said what it was. They just said he's lurking out in the Unknown, and that he-- [Wirt frowns. Once again he realizes things from the Unknown sound absolutely bananas when he tries to actually explain them to people.] ...h-he turns people into trees, I guess? That's what the Tavernkeeper said - "Once your will begins to spoil, he'll turn you to a tree of oil and use you in his lantern for to burn." I...think it might have been this Woodsman guy, but...

[Wirt shrugs. He doesn't know for sure at this point. He's just glad they got Beatrice away from that guy. He probably is the Beast, and probably led them astray on purpose.]

And they weren't really zombies? I-I mean, I guess by definition it would count but they didn't eat brains? They just...wore pumpkin costumes and danced around their...leader? [What the heck was that Enoch guy anyway??]

[krmvgivv]

Turns people into trees? Hmm... [It all does sound a little bananas, but hey, Dipper's seen a lot of bananas things. He's not judging.] I don't think I've come across anything like that. [He closes the journal.] Skeletons in pumpkin costumes. Are you sure they weren't just... weird pumpkin creatures?

[singloversing]

No, they were definitely skeletons. They put me and Greg to work in their fields, and they had us digging these holes? A-And the holes, they had skeletons in them and they actually got up and put pumpkin costumes on to join everyone else.

[Wirt speaks about it as though it's one of the most terrifying things he's ever seen, and honestly it probably was. Dead things are supposed to stay dead. They're not supposed to get up and dance and wear vegetable costumes.]

[krmvgivv]

...why? [This is one of the weirdest stories he's heard and considering he's been living in Gravity Falls, that's saying a lot.]

[singloversing]

[Wirt shrugs.]

I dunno. It was kind of terrifying and they kept asking us up we wanted to join them so, uh. We didn't really stop and...ask.

[krmvgivv]

I mean not joining them was probably the right choice, but... how could you pass up finding that out? That beats out some of the weird I've seen, and I didn't think anything could beat out the Hand Witch. [Dipper does not get you, Wirt.]

[singloversing]

[Meanwhile, Wirt has the same reaction right back at him. Why would you ever want to find out more about that?]

Uhh. We just wanted to get home as soon as possible. Mingling with an undead pumpkin cult didn't really seem conducive to that. Especially since it kind of seemed like they wanted us to stay forever...

[Wirt shudders remembering it.] When I was leaving, the leader guy said we'd join them someday...the whole thing just sounded like bad news.

[krmvgivv]

Well, yeah, I'm not saying staying forever was a good idea, but you could have... I don't know, asked questions or something.

[singloversing]

Yeah, no way José. If we stuck around they were probably going to make us tend to their fields and dig up more of their skeleton friends forever. The only thing we really needed to ask about was how to get home and they probably wouldn't have helped us out there. Aside from that I mean...there wasn't much to ask about? They were skeletons having some creepy harvest festival with their even creepier pumpkin leader. I don't think I really want to know more than that.

[krmvgivv]

Was it in worship to some sort of pumpkin skeleton deity? What sort of magic was keeping them animate? I mean, something needed to keep the bones from falling into a pile without skin and tendons and everything holding them together. And vegetables don't make very good muscles... how were they moving? [Dipper waves a hand.] Just a few examples. I wish I'd been there. I could probably think of more if I actually saw them.

[singloversing]

[If Wirt shrugs anymore his arms are going to fall right off his shoulders.]

I mean...probably, I guess? I dunno. How they were moving around didn't really change that they were moving around when they should probably be dead in the ground. What would I even do with that information anyway? No, I just...we only tried to ask about leaving and they just tried to make us stay. We got arrested by their giant pumpkin...leader...thing, f-for trespassing and stepping on crops and had to do manual labor to work it off - like, digging up their friends and stuff. As soon as that was done we got out of there, ASAP.

[All of this is said, of course, as though this is a perfectly reasonable course of events and not something fantastic and odd.]