OPEN } i'm gonna set things straight again, i'm gonna prove them wrong

[krmvgivv]

Who: Dipper Pines and YOU
Where: Out and around the hot springs
When: at night when the GHOSTS are out
Rating: G for GHOSTS
Summary: Dipper can't relax like a normal person, so he's out hunting GHOSTS!
The Story:

[The hot springs are all very nice (if a little more naked than Dipper is comfortable with in his swimming), but he's way more interested in the rumors that this place is haunted. His last ghost encounter didn't go so well, but he knows a lot more about ghosts now. He knows a lot more about everything.

Well, possibly not about the yukata. He's definitely wearing it wrong, and he's got his shorts on underneath. It feels weird otherwise. Well, weirder. He'd really prefer a shirt.

But it doesn't matter. He's ready for any ghosts that come his way. He's got anointed water, he's got a sensor to try and catch ghostly readings, and he's got his journal. Time to set a few traps and hope he can catch the ghost by the time the event ends. Sure, it means not sleeping much, since obviously nighttime is when ghosts are most common, and it means not enjoying the relaxing vacation but, well, vacations aren't nearly as interesting as ghosts are, and it's not like he was sleeping anyway. Slumber parties are the worst, even when it's boys, not girls.]

Comments

[krmvgivv]

Well, being trapped on this plane of existence rather than moving on to whatever's next isn't exactly a good thing. We're doing them a favor, really.

[singloversing]

...Oh. Right. I guess that's kind of bad.

[Why does he have this weird feeling of déjà vu though? He's pretty sure he's never had this conversation before...unable to think of a good reason behind it, he shrugs it off.]

Maybe you could...I-I dunno. Talk to them, or something? Shouting for them to die a second time seems...kind of needlessly antagonistic.

[krmvgivv]

....oh. I might have gotten carried away. [He looks slightly embarrassed, at least. But only slightly.] Hunting ghosts, you know? It's pretty exciting!

[singloversing]

I guess so? I-I don't usually go looking for that kind of excitement, to be honest. [Wirt sighs.] Lately it's been finding me anyway though...

[He definitely doesn't sound thrilled about it.]

[krmvgivv]

...You don't look as excited about it as I would be. [What is wrong with you, Wirt. Why don't you want to chase after ghosts and magic?]

[singloversing]

Well...I'm not. Is it really that weird?

[He's feeling kind of defensive about it, now that Dipper's pointed it out.]

I mean, things like that are dangerous. I-I've met skeletons that had weird, creepy harvest festivals, and there was this Beast out in the woods...it's not really something I'd want to have to deal with if I didn't want to.

[krmvgivv]

....but that all sounds so interesting. What kind of beast? Can you describe it? [Dipper already has the journal out, flipping through the pages to see if he can find any mention of any of these things.] I raised zombies once by accident but they didn't have any kinds of festivals. They just... wanted to eat my brains.

[singloversing]

N-Not...really? No one really said what it was. They just said he's lurking out in the Unknown, and that he-- [Wirt frowns. Once again he realizes things from the Unknown sound absolutely bananas when he tries to actually explain them to people.] ...h-he turns people into trees, I guess? That's what the Tavernkeeper said - "Once your will begins to spoil, he'll turn you to a tree of oil and use you in his lantern for to burn." I...think it might have been this Woodsman guy, but...

[Wirt shrugs. He doesn't know for sure at this point. He's just glad they got Beatrice away from that guy. He probably is the Beast, and probably led them astray on purpose.]

And they weren't really zombies? I-I mean, I guess by definition it would count but they didn't eat brains? They just...wore pumpkin costumes and danced around their...leader? [What the heck was that Enoch guy anyway??]

[krmvgivv]

Turns people into trees? Hmm... [It all does sound a little bananas, but hey, Dipper's seen a lot of bananas things. He's not judging.] I don't think I've come across anything like that. [He closes the journal.] Skeletons in pumpkin costumes. Are you sure they weren't just... weird pumpkin creatures?

[singloversing]

No, they were definitely skeletons. They put me and Greg to work in their fields, and they had us digging these holes? A-And the holes, they had skeletons in them and they actually got up and put pumpkin costumes on to join everyone else.

[Wirt speaks about it as though it's one of the most terrifying things he's ever seen, and honestly it probably was. Dead things are supposed to stay dead. They're not supposed to get up and dance and wear vegetable costumes.]

[krmvgivv]

...why? [This is one of the weirdest stories he's heard and considering he's been living in Gravity Falls, that's saying a lot.]

[singloversing]

[Wirt shrugs.]

I dunno. It was kind of terrifying and they kept asking us up we wanted to join them so, uh. We didn't really stop and...ask.

[krmvgivv]

I mean not joining them was probably the right choice, but... how could you pass up finding that out? That beats out some of the weird I've seen, and I didn't think anything could beat out the Hand Witch. [Dipper does not get you, Wirt.]

[singloversing]

[Meanwhile, Wirt has the same reaction right back at him. Why would you ever want to find out more about that?]

Uhh. We just wanted to get home as soon as possible. Mingling with an undead pumpkin cult didn't really seem conducive to that. Especially since it kind of seemed like they wanted us to stay forever...

[Wirt shudders remembering it.] When I was leaving, the leader guy said we'd join them someday...the whole thing just sounded like bad news.

[krmvgivv]

Well, yeah, I'm not saying staying forever was a good idea, but you could have... I don't know, asked questions or something.

[singloversing]

Yeah, no way José. If we stuck around they were probably going to make us tend to their fields and dig up more of their skeleton friends forever. The only thing we really needed to ask about was how to get home and they probably wouldn't have helped us out there. Aside from that I mean...there wasn't much to ask about? They were skeletons having some creepy harvest festival with their even creepier pumpkin leader. I don't think I really want to know more than that.

[krmvgivv]

Was it in worship to some sort of pumpkin skeleton deity? What sort of magic was keeping them animate? I mean, something needed to keep the bones from falling into a pile without skin and tendons and everything holding them together. And vegetables don't make very good muscles... how were they moving? [Dipper waves a hand.] Just a few examples. I wish I'd been there. I could probably think of more if I actually saw them.

[singloversing]

[If Wirt shrugs anymore his arms are going to fall right off his shoulders.]

I mean...probably, I guess? I dunno. How they were moving around didn't really change that they were moving around when they should probably be dead in the ground. What would I even do with that information anyway? No, I just...we only tried to ask about leaving and they just tried to make us stay. We got arrested by their giant pumpkin...leader...thing, f-for trespassing and stepping on crops and had to do manual labor to work it off - like, digging up their friends and stuff. As soon as that was done we got out of there, ASAP.

[All of this is said, of course, as though this is a perfectly reasonable course of events and not something fantastic and odd.]

[krmvgivv]

[Dipper just stares at him. He cannot comprehend this much indifference.]

I mean, are giant pumpkin grave digging skeletons common in your world?

[singloversing]

Well, no...not at all, actually. But we were, um--

[How does he even begin to explain the Unknown? He's still not really one hundred percent sure if it's another world or if it's just kind of always been in the woods and he never noticed before. Besides, the whole thing sounds bonkers.]

...it's complicated?

[krmvgivv]

[Oh, that's the part that sounds bonkers. But the pumpkin skeleton cult? Totally normal. Sure, Wirt. Sure.]

How complicated can it be?

[singloversing]

Uhhh. ...Pretty complicated?

[But it sure sounds like he's not going to get out of it now. So, he takes a deep breath.]

My brother and me, we uh. We were walking home and then we kind of...got lost in the woods? Everyone we've run into calls it the Unknown? But I don't...I'm not really sure where it is. Or what it is, I guess? Obviously we wouldn't know where, since we got lost, but...I'd never seen any weird stuff until that happened. And that's where we were before any of us came here?

[A beat.] I...don't really talk about it, because it all sounds crazy bananas.

[krmvgivv]

Considering we're currently in a world that's from a storybook, I think the bar for crazy bananas has been raised pretty high.

[singloversing]

...I guess so. [Actually, that's been pointed out to him before, but he keeps defaulting back to "wow, that sure sounds crazy. Don't talk about it or you're going to sound like a crazy person."] And all kinds of weird things happen here too. I always forget people are probably kind of...I don't know. Used to it by now?

[krmvgivv]

...so just making sure I have this clear. You didn't question the skeleton pumpkin cult at all but you think people living in Wonderland are gonna question your weird Unknown place and think you're crazy?

[Dipper will never, ever understand Wirt.]