entrancelogs | OPEN | well, i don't know where they come from but they sure do come

Entry tags:

OPEN | well, i don't know where they come from but they sure do come

Who: Everyone and some adorable, rolly polly, purring kittens.
Where: Ballroom.
When: April 4th.
Rating: PG? It's kittens, how bad can it get.
Summary: As advertised, Anders wished for some kittens, now there are kittens, please adopt a kitten, kittens everywhere.

The Story:

_{[In the ballroom with plenty of space for them to romp around, Anders and Alistair set the kittens loose.

When he'd been thinking about them, Anders had had a particular image in his mind: a bunch of kittens sitting in a padded wicker basket like something out of a graphic illustration or inspired by a toilet paper brand. Who wouldn't find that adorable? That's exactly what he'd gotten, and exactly what they load the kittens up in to move them downstairs. Once the basket is deposited in the center of the room, some stay napping in its cushioned confines, others tumble out to explore.

Anders takes the time to bring up food, water, and litter. After some internal debating, he scatters some cat toys around the room, too. Welcome to Wonderland's one and only kitty daycare, for a limited time only!]}

_{(OOC: Don't worry about threading with Anders or Alistair if you want to join in just for kittens. Consider this a mingle log where you can make your own posts, tag around, etc.)}

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

How did you drag me into this again? I think I'm still bleeding!

[Alistair tugs at his torn shirt, which rips a little further in protest, trying to peer down it around the cats in his arms. It's.... not very successful and he gives up after a minute, turning his attention back to their charges. And his complaining. Which doesn't stop him letting one of the kittens chew on his fingers and another bat energetically at his face when he bends down too far.]

Why did I let you drag me into this? I should have just- [Whatever he should have done the world will never know as he spots another escape in progress. With a panicked look down at his armful and back to the rapidly disappearing cat tail he turns back to Anders.] Quick, take these before he gets away!

Oh, it's just a scratch. _{[Anders brushes Alistair's complaint off with a reassuring smile.]} I don't know how magically transfigured cats work--this could be their first time out in the world. They're exploring! Learning their ABCs!

_{[And exploring Alistair's chest with their claws is a part of the learning process! Before he can drop a kitten or one manages to squeeze out of his hold, Anders rushes into his room to deposit them into their temporary pen he'd constructed using the basket they'd appeared in.

By erecting a small barrier along its rim, the cats couldn't easily climb out of the basket without scaling the invisible edge. For the most part, it looks to be working aside from a few bold escape artists who've climbed on top of their fellows and tumbled out again. One of the re-captured kittens bobs up on its hind legs to greet him, crying fiercely for attention, and he stops to stroke its head before returning to Alistair.]}

I've got them, I've got them! Aw, come to Anders, kitties. _{[With a comforting coo, he takes Alistair's bundle into his arms.]} These are a lively bunch.

[Tiny scratches hurt the worst of all, how can Anders not appreciate that fact?]

They could learn with less scratching.

[But if Anders refuses to appreciate his plight then at least he is willing to let Alistair chase after the ones making a run for it without a squirming armful. Passing his charges off he darts off after the runaway, coming back a minute later with a cat in each hand.]

He ran into a friend out in the hall. Lucky for me no one's door was open. [Otherwise he would have had to sneak into someone's room to retrieve them and knowing his usual luck? That wouldn't have gone down well.

Carrying them over to the basket he puts them back in with the others. Hesitating only a moment, Alistair scoops up the loudest one and wanders back over to Anders with it cradled against his chest, mewling all the while.]

What are you going to do if no one else wants one?

[Because he's pretty sure the answer is 'keep them' and that means there's going to be a room full of cats living right across from him. And given how this day has gone so far? He's not sure he can handle that.]

I'm just glad I don't think anyone rooming nearby has a dog. A big dog, Carver's not withstanding. I'd hate to see the scratches one would walk away with if it thought these guys were easy prey. We have enough for a battalion.

_{[A battalion with the power to melt hearts. The bawling kitten seems somewhat appeased at being the focus of someone's attention, and looks over at Anders with its large, bright eyes.

Anders already knows the answer. As if reading Alistair's mind, he doesn't hesitate to say:]}

Keep them. _{[He shrugs like it's a burden he's resigned himself to.]} I don't have much of a choice, someone has to. I'm hoping there are others who'll appreciate the chance to have a pet. How about it? You could keep the one you have--it'd make a great guard cat. Meow if something snuck into your room.

[Of course Anders expects the cats would win in a fight with a dog. Although, given how badly they've managed to maim Alistair already he has a point. They could give a mabari trouble.]

A cat battalion. A cattalion?

[If only darkspawn could be slain with the power of cuteness they'd be the most effective Wardens to ever choke down darkspawn blood.

And oh look, he can read minds and he doesn't even need blood magic to do it. There's going to be colony of cats living across from him now he's sure. And Anders is even trying to push some of his mistake onto Alistair too. Shooting Anders a dubious look he shakes his head.]

Me? With a pet? I can barely look after myself. [He looks down at the kitten in his arms, still loudly making its feelings known and smiles fondly.] ....I did have a cat once. Well, he was really the stable mouser. But he wouldn't let any of the other stableboys near him.

[Lifting the kitten up to eye level he coos at it.] He'd have made six of you. [An even louder cry has him arching an eyebrow at the cat.] He was quieter too.

A pawsome fighting force! The cat's meow of any army!

_{[You know you've reached critical cat mass when the cat puns start taking over your life.]}

If you can survive a Joining, you can survive a cat. Besides, they keep you honest.

_{[The fact that the kind of Ferelden had once befriended a mouser just like Anders had makes him smile, laughing in disbelief.]}

You know, I spent a fair bit of time with the mouser in the Circle Tower, too. That's another thing I didn't expect we'd have in common--life's just full of surprises that way. _{[A nod toward the mouthy cat.]} This one's not afraid to speak his mind is all.

The Grey Pawdens, noble defenders of Furrelden! Here to protect us all from catastrophe.

[How long can they keep this going? Until they get all the cats down to the ballroom? Longer?]

I think choking down darkspawn blood and caring for a cat are very different things. [Seriously, what does one have to do with the other? Not that he's looking especially in need of a reminder of the merits of cat ownership as he cradles the talkative kitten against him again.

Although, some of those merits he could do without the reminder of.] Did yours always leave dead things on your pillow too? Or parts of them. The number of rat heads and pigeon feathers I got I could have started a very strange shop.

[Glancing down at the noisy bundle in his arms he shoots Anders a pointed look.] Reminds me of someone.

See, this is precisely why I think we should make them honorary Wardens and be done with it. _{[The potential for puns is excellent--what other reason do they need?]} And walking away after a swig from that chalice just means you're prepared for anything. Taking care of one or two cats is no sweat.

_{[He waves a hand as if his logic should be obvious, Alistair's account of his mouser's gift-giving earning a laugh soon after.]}

I don't leave dead mice on pillows. Other gifts, maybe, but not that.

_{[While he feigns ignorance at what Alistair's really getting at by comparing him to the noisy kitten, another one that Anders hadn't noticed in his first sweep comes sauntering up the corridor toward them, drawn by the first kitten's mews.

Bending once it draws near, Anders picks it up in both hands.]}

Another runaway! Now this reminds me of someone.

[That is a pretty convincing argument. For making the cats honourary Wardens. Not so much for him being a competent caretaker for an animal that's not mostly independent. And while cats normally are, he's not sure these aren't too young for that.]

So I should start checking my pillow in the future for.... [What sort of gifts would a former apostate and Grey Warden leave lying around?] Darkspawn heads? A pretty dress?

[Enough of that in case he gave Anders ideas. Not that he seems to need them, with what he managed on his own already.

Watching their intrepid explorer come sauntering back to be recaptured Alistair shakes his head.]

He ran away but he came back. How accurate is that?

[Less so than his comparison he'll bet. And the cat in his arms definitely agrees as it continues to loudly makes its views on its captivity known. It's always nice to have someone take his side.]

Come now, I'm a gentleman, I wouldn't dare try to guess your size. It'd be awkward for all involved if I got it wrong.

_{[But the hypothetical dress in question would obviously be specially picked to bring out Alistair's eyes. Only the best for their king.]}

I'm a thoughtful gift-giver. It would be something you'd enjoy. Like maybe a sharp weapon. Or a nice pair of slippers. Or a block of cheese. You like cheese, don't you?

_{[His cat is more tentative than Alistair's and only after stroking it soothingly along its chest and under its chin does it let out a plaintive squeak like a rubber toy being squeezed.]}

Aw, he knew the best place to be is here with us. Cats are easier to train than dogs that way. They may not come when you call, but they'll come back when they're good and ready. Don't you agree, kitties?

[Well. At least if he is going to get a dress he knows Anders will ensure it's a well-fitting one. That is important. Although he rather prefers the other gift ideas.]

I've been known to partake, from time to time.

[By which he means all the time. As anyone who has seen him eat here can attest.

The cat seems to have less in common with the man holding it than he'd thought, needing encouragement to start talking but that may be for the best, given there's already plenty of noise to make the mansion seem even more lively than usual. He has a feeling this floor at least isn't going to be very quiet from now on. That doesn't seem so bad though.]

I don't think that qualifies as being trained. [Doing what they please seems the exact opposite of being trained in fact.] Or that we should just let them loose to come back when they want to. I think people might have a problem with that.

Time for you to rejoin the brood, my little friend.

_{[Anders talks down to the cat he holds--which opens its mouth wide and issues another breathy squeak--and turns to head back to where they're keeping the rest, talking to Alistair from over his shoulder.

It's all semantics, really. Don't question his logic, it's fool-proof!]}

What's the matter? Afraid they're going to spy on you and uncover all your secrets?

Yes, they might learn my many terrible secrets! [Give him a minute and he'll think of what those secrets are.] Is that your secret? A network of spy cats?

[Come to think of it, it could work. Cats could get into all sorts of places. Maybe they could find places in Wonderland that the rest of them couldn't and figure out this place's secrets. Too bad their band of spies would need a bit more training before they could be unleashed.

Following Anders back over to the basket, Alistair stands there, letting the squirming kitten in his arms chew on his fingers as he looks down at the others.]

I guess we should get them all down to the ballroom then.

_{[Alistair laughs now, but Anders has it on good authority there could be some embarrassing blackmail material to uncover. Hook had seemed like the type to know good gossip fodder when he sees it.]}

Maybe. _{[Said with the appropriate level of enigmatic emphasis.]} We mages are tricky. You can never tell which is a normal animal and which is a mage's familiar.

_{[If he dotted his i's and crossed his t's on the right kind of magical contract, the feline spy network could be a real thing. Leliana had better watch out.

Setting his kitten down with the others, he looks at Alistair expectantly--and not without some amusement.]}

And is yours coming, too...?

_{[Unless he intends to keep it with him. Anders would never suggest separating two love birds. Love felines? The metaphor could use some work.]}

[DON'T LISTEN TO HIM ANDERS! He's a jerk. And a liar. And Alistair is not at all worried by that answer. Not one bit. Just because he sounds a little nervous when he laughs, it doesn't mean he's worried.]

You don't.... really have familiars, do you? That's not really a thing you do?

[Templar training had never included a section on watching out for mage's familiars. So he's pretty sure he's safe from being spied on by something small and furry. Which is good because he jumps a little guiltily at the question about the small, furry thing he's still holding.]

I... guess.

[Looking back down at kitten - which chooses that moment to look up at him and start mewling again- he bites his lip and peers over at Anders.]

You know, maybe I'll just... leave him in my room for now. Just in case.

[Just in case of what he doesn't know but. Just in case.]

_{[He gives Alistair a look of practiced blankness.]}

Didn't you know? I suppose they didn't get around to telling you that before you left the Templar Order.

_{[Alistair, on the other hand, could do to practice his poker face a little more in his bathroom mirror. He's so obvious it makes Anders think that Anora must have cleaned his clock anytime the newlyweds had sat down for a game of cards.]}

In case...? In case the local mabari have a taste for kitten?

_{[Alistair can thank him for the save by helping him lug these little buggers down the stairs in a minute.]}

Annnderrrs...

[That comes out less reproachful and more whining than he'd intended. But really. Mages don't have familiars. They don't. There had been no animals in the Circle tower so they couldn't have familiars.... though the idea had to have come from somewhere....

Thankfully his doubts aren't enough to dissuade him from eagerly latching onto the excuse he's been given.]

Yes! To keep him safe. I'll just- [And he's off, quickly disappearing into his room and reappearing several minutes later down one cat. But still with a torn shirt. Why bother getting a new one just to get it ripped as well?

Rejoining Anders by the basket he grins cheerfully.] We ready?

Yes, that's my name, don't wear it out.

_{[The teasing just makes Anders smile all the more, which grows as Alistair hightails it back to his room like a man trying to conceal contraband goods before the authorities spot him.

The king's keeping a cat. Priceless.]}

My lips are sealed.

_{[You know what he means. But he has to cock his head a little uncertainly at the basket loaded down with cats and the daunting task before them. Carrying one cat in his pack? No problem. But so many is going to be heavy and awkward to handle.]}

As ready as we'll be for the time being. I suppose... if we each take a side, it shouldn't be too bad?

Unless you think it's going to be too heavy for you to handle even with help.

[Although Alistair should really keep his mouth shut on the subject since he's definitely not going to try carrying it alone. Even if the weight might be manageable it's too big and awkward for him to be able to handle alone. Especially with the contents of the basket constantly moving about and the simple fact that they can't risk dropping it and hurting any of the cats.

So he grabs one side and waits expectantly for Anders to take the other. A pair of Grey Wardens carting about a basket of kittens. It's no stranger than nug-wrangling he supposes.]

Next time you should summon a flood of something easier to manage. Like... something not alive.

Trash talk is it? _{[Excuse you, young man, don't underestimate the beanpoles of the world.]} I'm not the one being tyrannized by kittens.

_{[Challenge accepted. Anders takes his end and heaves it up. It should be fine between the two of them provided they don't capsize it and undo all of their work. Some of the kittens seem to sense the shift in motion and perk their ears up, meowing inquisitively.]}

Like what, for example? Stuffed cats? Now that would be disturbing.

_{[Just to prove no basket of cats is too heavy for a mage, Anders takes the lead and starts them down the hallway.]}

[Anders please. He has armour that weighs more than you.]

Being scratched up doesn't mean I'm not stronger than you. It just means they're sharp!

[And he doesn't wear that heavy armour when facing down soft fluffy animals. Just because none of them took a dislike to the other man, doesn't mean he gets to laugh at Alistair's misfortune. Or it does but he gets to whine about it too.

Following Anders down the hallway, it's a bit of a challenge keeping the basket steady as several of the kittens investigate what's going on and why their home is moving. Alistair's not going to complain about it after his earlier dig though.]

What about a flood of miniature golem dolls? That wouldn't be bad.

No, but not running about in a panic does.

_{[He, along with everybody else on the network, has visual proof if Alistair needs reminding he'd lost the fight against the cat in his shirt. Cat: 1, Alistair: 0.]}

Golem dolls? _{[Just what goes through your head, Alistair? Anders would be interested to know.]} Seems like an odd choice.

_{[Regular-sized golems are fairly creepy as is with their empty eyes.]}

Oh shut up.

[He could still take Anders in a fight! A magic free fight. That doesn't involve snow. He might win that. Maybe.... He'd win an arm wrestling match OK?]

It's not that strange. I could have said stuffed nugs.

[Anders you have no idea how creepy golems can be until you've learned that one of them watches you sleep all night. And thinks about crushing your skull while it does.]

Your mouser would be ashamed if he could see you now. Ashamed. Stay out of the kitten pile if you can't take the claws.

_{[Did someone say "shut up?" He heard "keep going with a loud and dramatic flourish."

It's a good thing Alistair's in no position to come out from around the other side of the basket and challenge him to an arm wrestling competition right now; Anders is safe from those bulging biceps for the time being.]}

And now we're back to disturbing. _{[Someone's been talking to that woman with the accent and the nug fetish, clearly.]} Why not a flood of a hundred caramel chocolates or something? Everyone loves those.

I would have but someone decided I needed to get involved in his mess and I wound up in the middle of it. [Any ideas who that someone might be Anders? Here's a hint, he's loud and annoying and asking to be dumped bodily into the garden fountain when there's no longer kittens to take care of.] Next time he can face the hordes of clawed beasts on his own.

[At least they can agree that nugs are disturbing. No surprise only the crazy ex-bard likes them. But don't dismiss the joy a golem doll can bring a person Anders.]

Well if you want to be boring. [And tasty. Maybe not such a bad option.] Is that how you really spend your nights? You want to watch you don't need bigger robes soon.

OPEN | well, i don't know where they come from but they sure do come

Fourth floor

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