entrancelogs | OPEN | well, i don't know where they come from but they sure do come

Entry tags:

OPEN | well, i don't know where they come from but they sure do come

Who: Everyone and some adorable, rolly polly, purring kittens.
Where: Ballroom.
When: April 4th.
Rating: PG? It's kittens, how bad can it get.
Summary: As advertised, Anders wished for some kittens, now there are kittens, please adopt a kitten, kittens everywhere.

The Story:

_{[In the ballroom with plenty of space for them to romp around, Anders and Alistair set the kittens loose.

When he'd been thinking about them, Anders had had a particular image in his mind: a bunch of kittens sitting in a padded wicker basket like something out of a graphic illustration or inspired by a toilet paper brand. Who wouldn't find that adorable? That's exactly what he'd gotten, and exactly what they load the kittens up in to move them downstairs. Once the basket is deposited in the center of the room, some stay napping in its cushioned confines, others tumble out to explore.

Anders takes the time to bring up food, water, and litter. After some internal debating, he scatters some cat toys around the room, too. Welcome to Wonderland's one and only kitty daycare, for a limited time only!]}

_{(OOC: Don't worry about threading with Anders or Alistair if you want to join in just for kittens. Consider this a mingle log where you can make your own posts, tag around, etc.)}

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Yes, they might learn my many terrible secrets! [Give him a minute and he'll think of what those secrets are.] Is that your secret? A network of spy cats?

[Come to think of it, it could work. Cats could get into all sorts of places. Maybe they could find places in Wonderland that the rest of them couldn't and figure out this place's secrets. Too bad their band of spies would need a bit more training before they could be unleashed.

Following Anders back over to the basket, Alistair stands there, letting the squirming kitten in his arms chew on his fingers as he looks down at the others.]

I guess we should get them all down to the ballroom then.

_{[Alistair laughs now, but Anders has it on good authority there could be some embarrassing blackmail material to uncover. Hook had seemed like the type to know good gossip fodder when he sees it.]}

Maybe. _{[Said with the appropriate level of enigmatic emphasis.]} We mages are tricky. You can never tell which is a normal animal and which is a mage's familiar.

_{[If he dotted his i's and crossed his t's on the right kind of magical contract, the feline spy network could be a real thing. Leliana had better watch out.

Setting his kitten down with the others, he looks at Alistair expectantly--and not without some amusement.]}

And is yours coming, too...?

_{[Unless he intends to keep it with him. Anders would never suggest separating two love birds. Love felines? The metaphor could use some work.]}

[DON'T LISTEN TO HIM ANDERS! He's a jerk. And a liar. And Alistair is not at all worried by that answer. Not one bit. Just because he sounds a little nervous when he laughs, it doesn't mean he's worried.]

You don't.... really have familiars, do you? That's not really a thing you do?

[Templar training had never included a section on watching out for mage's familiars. So he's pretty sure he's safe from being spied on by something small and furry. Which is good because he jumps a little guiltily at the question about the small, furry thing he's still holding.]

I... guess.

[Looking back down at kitten - which chooses that moment to look up at him and start mewling again- he bites his lip and peers over at Anders.]

You know, maybe I'll just... leave him in my room for now. Just in case.

[Just in case of what he doesn't know but. Just in case.]

_{[He gives Alistair a look of practiced blankness.]}

Didn't you know? I suppose they didn't get around to telling you that before you left the Templar Order.

_{[Alistair, on the other hand, could do to practice his poker face a little more in his bathroom mirror. He's so obvious it makes Anders think that Anora must have cleaned his clock anytime the newlyweds had sat down for a game of cards.]}

In case...? In case the local mabari have a taste for kitten?

_{[Alistair can thank him for the save by helping him lug these little buggers down the stairs in a minute.]}

Annnderrrs...

[That comes out less reproachful and more whining than he'd intended. But really. Mages don't have familiars. They don't. There had been no animals in the Circle tower so they couldn't have familiars.... though the idea had to have come from somewhere....

Thankfully his doubts aren't enough to dissuade him from eagerly latching onto the excuse he's been given.]

Yes! To keep him safe. I'll just- [And he's off, quickly disappearing into his room and reappearing several minutes later down one cat. But still with a torn shirt. Why bother getting a new one just to get it ripped as well?

Rejoining Anders by the basket he grins cheerfully.] We ready?

Yes, that's my name, don't wear it out.

_{[The teasing just makes Anders smile all the more, which grows as Alistair hightails it back to his room like a man trying to conceal contraband goods before the authorities spot him.

The king's keeping a cat. Priceless.]}

My lips are sealed.

_{[You know what he means. But he has to cock his head a little uncertainly at the basket loaded down with cats and the daunting task before them. Carrying one cat in his pack? No problem. But so many is going to be heavy and awkward to handle.]}

As ready as we'll be for the time being. I suppose... if we each take a side, it shouldn't be too bad?

Unless you think it's going to be too heavy for you to handle even with help.

[Although Alistair should really keep his mouth shut on the subject since he's definitely not going to try carrying it alone. Even if the weight might be manageable it's too big and awkward for him to be able to handle alone. Especially with the contents of the basket constantly moving about and the simple fact that they can't risk dropping it and hurting any of the cats.

So he grabs one side and waits expectantly for Anders to take the other. A pair of Grey Wardens carting about a basket of kittens. It's no stranger than nug-wrangling he supposes.]

Next time you should summon a flood of something easier to manage. Like... something not alive.

Trash talk is it? _{[Excuse you, young man, don't underestimate the beanpoles of the world.]} I'm not the one being tyrannized by kittens.

_{[Challenge accepted. Anders takes his end and heaves it up. It should be fine between the two of them provided they don't capsize it and undo all of their work. Some of the kittens seem to sense the shift in motion and perk their ears up, meowing inquisitively.]}

Like what, for example? Stuffed cats? Now that would be disturbing.

_{[Just to prove no basket of cats is too heavy for a mage, Anders takes the lead and starts them down the hallway.]}

[Anders please. He has armour that weighs more than you.]

Being scratched up doesn't mean I'm not stronger than you. It just means they're sharp!

[And he doesn't wear that heavy armour when facing down soft fluffy animals. Just because none of them took a dislike to the other man, doesn't mean he gets to laugh at Alistair's misfortune. Or it does but he gets to whine about it too.

Following Anders down the hallway, it's a bit of a challenge keeping the basket steady as several of the kittens investigate what's going on and why their home is moving. Alistair's not going to complain about it after his earlier dig though.]

What about a flood of miniature golem dolls? That wouldn't be bad.

No, but not running about in a panic does.

_{[He, along with everybody else on the network, has visual proof if Alistair needs reminding he'd lost the fight against the cat in his shirt. Cat: 1, Alistair: 0.]}

Golem dolls? _{[Just what goes through your head, Alistair? Anders would be interested to know.]} Seems like an odd choice.

_{[Regular-sized golems are fairly creepy as is with their empty eyes.]}

Oh shut up.

[He could still take Anders in a fight! A magic free fight. That doesn't involve snow. He might win that. Maybe.... He'd win an arm wrestling match OK?]

It's not that strange. I could have said stuffed nugs.

[Anders you have no idea how creepy golems can be until you've learned that one of them watches you sleep all night. And thinks about crushing your skull while it does.]

Your mouser would be ashamed if he could see you now. Ashamed. Stay out of the kitten pile if you can't take the claws.

_{[Did someone say "shut up?" He heard "keep going with a loud and dramatic flourish."

It's a good thing Alistair's in no position to come out from around the other side of the basket and challenge him to an arm wrestling competition right now; Anders is safe from those bulging biceps for the time being.]}

And now we're back to disturbing. _{[Someone's been talking to that woman with the accent and the nug fetish, clearly.]} Why not a flood of a hundred caramel chocolates or something? Everyone loves those.

I would have but someone decided I needed to get involved in his mess and I wound up in the middle of it. [Any ideas who that someone might be Anders? Here's a hint, he's loud and annoying and asking to be dumped bodily into the garden fountain when there's no longer kittens to take care of.] Next time he can face the hordes of clawed beasts on his own.

[At least they can agree that nugs are disturbing. No surprise only the crazy ex-bard likes them. But don't dismiss the joy a golem doll can bring a person Anders.]

Well if you want to be boring. [And tasty. Maybe not such a bad option.] Is that how you really spend your nights? You want to watch you don't need bigger robes soon.

_{[How horribly unjust of you to bring logic into this and point out you're doing Anders a favor by helping him with the cat epidemic. You're sucking the joy out of this, Alistair. Can't just let him mock you, can you.]}

Someone only has two hands! _{[Even he needs help sometimes.]} But, you know, someone also pays his debts and is grateful for the help.

_{[Next time he's overrun by cats, he'll make sure it's not in the small confines of his room. Better for everyone involved--and his carpet.]}

And I'm not against indulging oneself since this place is so kind to offer up treats. My metabolism keeps me slim and trim.

_{[Though in all honesty, Anders hasn't had much opportunity or cause to stuff his face with seconds or thirds at dinnertime. They'd kept an eye on that sort of thing in the Circle--no favoritism or overindulgence allowed. It'd all worked out in the end, he'd say. It'd taught him how to stay disciplined and work with what he has.]}

[Someone also has magic that could help. With a cat-summoning spell or something.]

Ha! [Grateful is that what they're calling it now? He'll remember to mock Anders the next time he's supposed to be being grateful then.] I'm holding you to that.

[The promise to pay his debt that is. He's pretty sure Anders owes him a lot by now. The help cat-wrangling, making him fall into icy water (definitely Anders' fault that one and not a result of Alistair's own actions), offering him a friendly ear after he ran afoul of Wonderland's propensity for bringing in strangers who recognise you. Basically, whenever he cashes in the offer it's going to be for something big.]

You say that but if I have to start rolling you about I'm going to make you practice with me.

[By chasing him about the gardens again doubtless. Although he could do with a sparring partner sometimes...

But they're getting some kind of work out now at least. The stairs are a little more challenging as they make their way down, still worried about dropping the basket. But at least none of their passengers have been able to jump out.]

You do that. I'm a man of my word.

_{[The teasing unlike you, you dirty cheater goes unsaid. If they're keeping score, Anders hasn't forgotten Alistair's propensity to stage underhanded snowball fights.

Which is why he's quite all right with his morning runs and staff exercises without Alistair trying to body check him on his ass, thank you.]}

Thank goodness my waistline is the one thing I can count on.

_{[Anders directs this last comment to his feet as he minds each step he takes downward. With babies on board, the stairs seem extra steep and fraught with peril. For this alone he's doubly glad he has help to balance the weight of their small passengers.]}

Get a good look, kitties, this could conceivably be your home for the next little while...

And I'm not?

[When has he broken a promise? He might have indulged in the odd ambush or the like but he's never once gone back on his word. Or cheated. Sneak attacks are not cheating and he'll defend that position until it becomes inconvenient.

Alistair watches worriedly as a few of the kittens take advantage of the way the basket unavoidably tilts going down to try scrambling up the side onto Anders' back. He's pretty sure the barrier is high enough they won't be able to but just in case one is part frog he's ready to warn his partner-in-cats.]

Do you think they're like us? Kidnapees who'll get sent home one day?

[He kind of hopes so. It's better than the mansion having made a bunch of kittens from nothing. That may be weirder than everything else about Wonderland.]

I don't know, are you?

_{[The best way to answer those sorts of question is to not answer them at all, in Anders' experience, not that he believes Alistair isn't as good as his word when it counts. He hasn't given Anders any reason to think otherwise. Sometimes it's just more fun give someone the runaround.]}

It's strange to think about it, but if they were "born" anywhere, it was here... _{[So Wonderland is home for them, technically.]} If I get a say it in, I'm taking them with me. They might make the Cheshire Cat worry they're gunning for its job.

_{[By the time they pick their way down to the first floor, Anders' arms are protesting the awkward bundle. How come the ballroom can't be like the library and move around to be closer?]}

Almost to the finish line...

Of course I am!

[The sheer affront in his voice should make up for the fact that Anders can't see how utterly insulted he is by that suggestion. Does he not radiate integrity and other good things?]

Hm. Better keep the basket then. [Anders will need something to carry all his new friends home in if he gets the choice.

When they get to the ballroom, Alistair sets his side of the basket down with a sigh of relief. Stretching his arms over his head to relieve the stiffness from being stuck in one position for so long, he looks around the mostly empty room.]

Next time you should just block off part of the hallway upstairs to use. [That wouldn't cause a problem at all.] Right, I'll leave you here to take care of things and go get some supplies?

No need to get defensive. I completely believe you. Just like I believe you about not intending to keep that cat you've stowed away.

_{[The kittens are practically bouncing up and down with pent-up energy by the time they're safely deposited on the ground. Anders tuts at them like a mother hen soothing her flock before looking up at Alistair.]}

The ballroom has lots of space and it's easy to find. This'll work for now. I suppose we'll have to plan for the long run. We'll need food, water, some dishes to hold them in, things to play with... ooh, and cat beds!

_{[Does Alistair need some paper to write this down because this list could get long.]}

Like you can talk.

[If Anders thinks he's fooled Alistair into believing that only one of them is getting a new pet from today then he's wrong. Which is why Alistair is so willing to help out, to make sure he doesn't have an entire colony living just across the hall.]

I'll start with food and water.

[He's pretty sure he can remember the rest without needing a list. They don't need that much. Unless Anders gets Orlesian and decides the cats need to be dressed or accessorized. Pausing at the door to the ballroom to look back and make sure everything is still under control and he's not going to come back to the same mess they started out with, Alistair sets off to get their supplies.

He has a feeling this could be a long day.]

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OPEN | well, i don't know where they come from but they sure do come

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