Cisco Ramon (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
thisismadfreaky) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
entrancelogs2017-07-11 10:39 am
thisismadfreaky) wrote in entrancelogs2017-07-11 10:39 am
{Trying to pull ahead, I'm always chasing time
Who: Cisco Ramon & YOU
Where: Various
When: The rest of July
Rating: TBD will update for warnings.
Summary: Cisco is trying social things again. Sort of. Sometimes. With varied success?
The Story:
The last several weeks have been...a slow move toward progress. Cisco is still not great, maybe, but he's certainly improved from where he was a month ago. He's not relying so heavily on the presence of other people now, easing into more social things because even shaken at his worst, Cisco can only stand to isolate the way he has been for so long. He craves interactions with people, even if some part of him is still trying to convince him that he doesn't deserve it. That will be an uphill battle he'll be fighting for awhile to come yet. But he's at a place where he can push it aside and start compartmentalizing and move on. This isn't a new process, exactly, he's used that skill for a long time, but it became much more necessary as part of Team Flash. There is always another disaster waiting around the corner to prepare for, and people need them to be ready and 'on', always. It means their own problems don't always get dealt with, and their emotions get shoved aside, but people are saved because of it, so the bad outweighs the good.
The difference here, has been...he has had time to sit with everything that happened. Think it over, feel what he feels. And honestly? It helps. A lot. He's used the journaling techniques Cam i had taught him a lot, and sometimes that alone helps more than anything else. Just a stream of consciousness dropped into a notebook that no one else ever sees, or even knows about. The journal gets a little more use on days he finds messages scrawled across a mirror to tell him how worthless and pathetic he is. He hasn't responded to any of them, but words like that stick to him like glue and bury themselves into his skin. Even when he reminds himself it isn't true, the idea lingers in the back of his mind.
Slowly and carefully, Cisco is easing his way back into a normal routine of sorts, though. Nearly daily morning stops at the coffee shop have begun again. Sometimes he just grabs the coffee and carries on, other times he hangs around and reads or sketches ideas for things he might eventually get around to creating one day. When it feels safe to make things again, when the fear of what he might do with some of those things if they were to exist outside of the steel trap of his mind subsides to allow him to do more than sketch and scribble notes down on paper. He can be found in the kitchen on more than one occasion, making various recipes his grandmother taught him. Usually, he makes enough for extra if anyone wants to chow down or in the library, browsing in both fiction and non-fiction titles; sci-fi or engineering books, mostly. On a rare day or two, he might even be found in the music room, strumming a soft tune on a guitar.
Where: Various
When: The rest of July
Rating: TBD will update for warnings.
Summary: Cisco is trying social things again. Sort of. Sometimes. With varied success?
The Story:
The last several weeks have been...a slow move toward progress. Cisco is still not great, maybe, but he's certainly improved from where he was a month ago. He's not relying so heavily on the presence of other people now, easing into more social things because even shaken at his worst, Cisco can only stand to isolate the way he has been for so long. He craves interactions with people, even if some part of him is still trying to convince him that he doesn't deserve it. That will be an uphill battle he'll be fighting for awhile to come yet. But he's at a place where he can push it aside and start compartmentalizing and move on. This isn't a new process, exactly, he's used that skill for a long time, but it became much more necessary as part of Team Flash. There is always another disaster waiting around the corner to prepare for, and people need them to be ready and 'on', always. It means their own problems don't always get dealt with, and their emotions get shoved aside, but people are saved because of it, so the bad outweighs the good.
The difference here, has been...he has had time to sit with everything that happened. Think it over, feel what he feels. And honestly? It helps. A lot. He's used the journaling techniques Cam i had taught him a lot, and sometimes that alone helps more than anything else. Just a stream of consciousness dropped into a notebook that no one else ever sees, or even knows about. The journal gets a little more use on days he finds messages scrawled across a mirror to tell him how worthless and pathetic he is. He hasn't responded to any of them, but words like that stick to him like glue and bury themselves into his skin. Even when he reminds himself it isn't true, the idea lingers in the back of his mind.
Slowly and carefully, Cisco is easing his way back into a normal routine of sorts, though. Nearly daily morning stops at the coffee shop have begun again. Sometimes he just grabs the coffee and carries on, other times he hangs around and reads or sketches ideas for things he might eventually get around to creating one day. When it feels safe to make things again, when the fear of what he might do with some of those things if they were to exist outside of the steel trap of his mind subsides to allow him to do more than sketch and scribble notes down on paper. He can be found in the kitchen on more than one occasion, making various recipes his grandmother taught him. Usually, he makes enough for extra if anyone wants to chow down or in the library, browsing in both fiction and non-fiction titles; sci-fi or engineering books, mostly. On a rare day or two, he might even be found in the music room, strumming a soft tune on a guitar.
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"Greek grammar is comforting to ye? Must be a scholar," Jamie says, taking the book off the shelf. Even still, when he pulls it down to get a better look, it turns out to be a novel instead of the grammar book he thought he'd been reaching for. This place just gets stranger and stranger the more he tries to figure it out. Doensa make any sense.
"I havena figured out how and why this place works the way it does. Ye think you're going for one thing and get something else instead."
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"Yeah, the library is one of the weirder places here, actually," He admits with a slight nod. "It won't even look like this next time you come in here. The layout will be completely different. I've been here close to a year, and I don't think I have stepped into the same library twice."
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"No sense at all," Jamie says, looking at the title of the book and trying to make heads or tails of it. He knows what sheep are but as far as androids and electric and what they dream, he's lost. It's one of those things he thinks he'll have to have Claire explain to him, he thinks, and he makes himself a note to ask her when they get a chance to see one another at the end of the day.
"I'm Jamie. Jamie Fraser," he offers, extending a hand to shake the other's. He's still getting used to being in a place where he's got to give his name to everyone; in Scotland, most know the braw redhead by sight.
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If the what the actual hell is this? vibe he's picking up from the guy is anything to judge by, he's pretty sure he's well on the mark on that one. And that? Makes this a thousand times easier. Because he probably doesn't know about what happened, or Cisco's involvement in it.
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"Aye, I only arrived a few days ago," Jamie confirms. He hasna had the chance to really find his feet in this place and from what he's come to understand from Cisco and others, it seems like the mansion changes constantly and finding his feet's going to be harder than he wants it to be. Claire's been a big help, yes, but he's got to figure some of these things out on his own.
"How long have you been here?"
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"And ye ken anyone that has left and come back?"
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He frowns a little as he considers it. "I'm not sure what makes people remember or forget entirely. Something in the magic here, I guess." He's still wary about the idea of magic as legitimate magic, but Freya has sort of shown him that it definitely exists. He still looks at it as unexplained science, though.
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"Magic is nothing to deny. Dinna ken how it works, exactly, but it's older than the church and it's older than you or me." In Scotland, there's still fairy wells and changelings still get lain out on rocks for the fae to claim again. It's not uncommon for a devout Catholic to still hold the stories of the trickster fae close to the chest.
"If this place has it, it's not something to look at lightly."
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"Magic doesn't...really exist in my world, so it's a weird concept for me." At least, not in the sense people around here seem to mean it. Though, he supposes, someone from the right time might consider metahumans and their abilities magic-like. "But I'm also living in a place that I thought solely belonged in a children's book, so..." He spreads his hands. "Anything's possible, I guess."
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"My wife taught me that the impossible can be as real as anything," Jamie says, nodding his agreement. "So I am disinclined to stop believing anything someone says. Sometimes it ends up being horseshit, ye ken, but sometimes it ends up being God's truth."
He's had more truth than lies since coming here to Wonderland, at least, so the people have at least been honest with him in answering his questions.
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But he won't say as much because he does have some tact occasionally-- and also just doesn't feel like explaining why he doesn't agree.
"Your wife sounds like a pretty smart lady." He comments with a slight nod.
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"She is," Jamie agrees. He's beaming because anyone that calls Claire brilliant is right on the nose with it and he is more proud of her than anything or anyone in this world. He thanks God and the stones for bringing her to him.
"Have ye met her? Claire Fraser?"
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"No," he shakes his head, "I haven't had the pleasure."
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"I'd been separated from her before I came here," Jamie says. "Had to send her away to keep her safe, ye ken, because there's a battle going on and it's no place for a woman and a babe. I wanted to keep her safe and that meant making a hard choice. She didna want to go but I had to. I was so glad to see she was here. I hadn't seen her in a while."
It's something he can admit to easily, words flowing over one another because he's just so damned happy about it.
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Jamie gives Cisco a smile that's a bit sheepish. "I like languages. Thought I might learn a new one."
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"Oh, yeah? What languages do you speak?" He's genuinely curious. "Do you know any Spanish? Cause I can definitely teach you."
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Jamie gives him a hopeful smile. "Until now?"
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"Seems like a fair trade, aye. I'll learn Spanish and I'll teach ye something in return," Jamie offers. He hardly wants to take and not give, especially since it seems he's far behind the modern world in Wonderland.