Alice Kruger ▶ Remi Briggs ▶ Jane ▶ Jane Weller (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
endingpoint) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
entrancelogs2017-12-01 03:07 pm
endingpoint) wrote in entrancelogs2017-12-01 03:07 pm
Entry tags:
we laughed at the darkness (OTA)
Who: Jane Doe, you
Where: various
When: through the month of December
Rating: PG-PG-13 possibly
Summary: Jane hasn't left her room since she got back. Very short network post included.
Note: She may seem antisocial but she's not. New CR may take her mind off of things, and close CR might get to hear the whole story.
The Story:
[ On Monday morning, there is a short, to the point text post that goes out: ]
The tattoo parlor is closed until further notice. Sorry for the inconvenience.
[ Once that's done, Jane has to decide if she actually wants to leave the room. She hasn't since their rooms changed back after the last event, she's just moved from living room to bedroom, alternating. She can deal with everything that happened, the bounty on her head, leaving Kurt for two years to keep him and his daughter safe. What she hasn't been able to cope with well at all has been knowing that she had a daughter eighteen years ago. Jane was a teenager, but she can't remember it. She can't remember being pregnant or giving birth. Cant remember holding her daughter or memorizing her face.
All Jane knows is that she hadn't wanted to give up her child if the intel she has is to be trusted. Which means Shepherd forced Jane - then Remi - to give up her infant. But the real problem is, can she trust anything? Can she trust a man who was a master forger, someone who worked for her mother and was in her pocket? How can she know her brother isn't manipulating her, trying to make her feel something that isn't real?
How could she forget something as intimate as her child growing inside of her?
Kurt's trying to help, he's trying to soothe, but it can feel suffocating and like it's just too much at times. She knows he means well, but there are times she has to get out of the room. He can't help her, not with this, so she does begin to leave the room periodically. She goes to the bar that's quietest, not the one run by Lucifer, and not the one Sarah works at, and nurses bourbon for hours. Some days, Jane sits on the beach for long periods of time, even with the chill in the air wearing only a hoodie and pants, arms wrapped around her knees, holding herself. She doesn't feel like sparring or sketching, so wherever she goes, she's simply, quiet. The library helps with that too, to sit and be still, not even necessarily doing anything important. She can wander there and look at interesting things, let something else occupy her mind for a while.
There is one night, late, that she goes to the roof and sits, and cries. Nothing loud, nothing gut-wrenching. Just quiet tears of grief and anger, of not knowing what to believe. Of knowing once again, her life has been violated and it's either the truth or a sick mind game her brother is playing.
Eventually, though, she always goes home to Kurt, quietly slipping into bed whether it's a normal time for sleeping or not. ]
Where: various
When: through the month of December
Rating: PG-PG-13 possibly
Summary: Jane hasn't left her room since she got back. Very short network post included.
Note: She may seem antisocial but she's not. New CR may take her mind off of things, and close CR might get to hear the whole story.
The Story:
[ On Monday morning, there is a short, to the point text post that goes out: ]
The tattoo parlor is closed until further notice. Sorry for the inconvenience.
[ Once that's done, Jane has to decide if she actually wants to leave the room. She hasn't since their rooms changed back after the last event, she's just moved from living room to bedroom, alternating. She can deal with everything that happened, the bounty on her head, leaving Kurt for two years to keep him and his daughter safe. What she hasn't been able to cope with well at all has been knowing that she had a daughter eighteen years ago. Jane was a teenager, but she can't remember it. She can't remember being pregnant or giving birth. Cant remember holding her daughter or memorizing her face.
All Jane knows is that she hadn't wanted to give up her child if the intel she has is to be trusted. Which means Shepherd forced Jane - then Remi - to give up her infant. But the real problem is, can she trust anything? Can she trust a man who was a master forger, someone who worked for her mother and was in her pocket? How can she know her brother isn't manipulating her, trying to make her feel something that isn't real?
How could she forget something as intimate as her child growing inside of her?
Kurt's trying to help, he's trying to soothe, but it can feel suffocating and like it's just too much at times. She knows he means well, but there are times she has to get out of the room. He can't help her, not with this, so she does begin to leave the room periodically. She goes to the bar that's quietest, not the one run by Lucifer, and not the one Sarah works at, and nurses bourbon for hours. Some days, Jane sits on the beach for long periods of time, even with the chill in the air wearing only a hoodie and pants, arms wrapped around her knees, holding herself. She doesn't feel like sparring or sketching, so wherever she goes, she's simply, quiet. The library helps with that too, to sit and be still, not even necessarily doing anything important. She can wander there and look at interesting things, let something else occupy her mind for a while.
There is one night, late, that she goes to the roof and sits, and cries. Nothing loud, nothing gut-wrenching. Just quiet tears of grief and anger, of not knowing what to believe. Of knowing once again, her life has been violated and it's either the truth or a sick mind game her brother is playing.
Eventually, though, she always goes home to Kurt, quietly slipping into bed whether it's a normal time for sleeping or not. ]
no subject
[ God, she doesn't want him to think it's Kurt. ]
It's my brother, he...he's hurt. I picked my husband, a life away from what was erased from me, over him. And now he's trying to take it all away. Piece by piece. Because he's angry. He wants to make me suffer, so I'll live through it.
[ The implication there being that no one else will. Not if they don't find Roman first and take him down. ]
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This is probably going to be a dumb question, but why don't you get rid of him?
[He's sure he's oversimplifying the situation, but this seems like the most obvious solution, so he'll use that as a starting point.]
no subject
[ Everything that's happening is because of her, at least that's how she sees it. If she'd taken her shot two years ago, this wouldn't be happening. ]
no subject
[His brows furrow. This is a complicated situation. He's been in those before, but his own course of action has always been fairly simple: do something or don't do it.]
That sucks. I'm sorry.
[That's all he can find to say--even if he had a solution, it wouldn't help much right now.]
no subject
[ Jane feels so guilty and responsible. But there really is truly nothing she can do. ]
I guess being back here I just...I know that unless he shows up here it doesn't make any sense to feel this way. But to me it feels like it all just happened. I'm still trying to wrap my mind around it, it I think.
no subject
[At home it must be much more urgent; not much time to process, just to act. That was his experience with everything that happened in his world, anyway, so he can relate.]
It probably doesn't seem like it, but I'd say it's a plus.
no subject
[ She looks over at Naoki now. ]
I glow. I have bioluminescent tattoos. They need a special key to work, though. I don't have it with me.
no subject
Glowing tattoo twins.
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I wish you could see them, they're pretty cool. I don't remember it happening, but glowing isn't so bad.
no subject
[Naoki's glad to see her smile and is relieved he managed to lighten the mood even a little.]
What can I do for you?
[Probably not much, but he ought to offer.]
no subject
You're an amazing friend, you know that?
[ She lets out a breath and looks out at the ocean. ]
You're doing it.
no subject
For what it's worth, you're one of my best friends.
[Even counting the people he knows at home.]
no subject
Mine too. I'm really glad you came to the tattoo parlor when you did.
no subject
Is it okay if I stay here with you for awhile?
[He doesn't want to infringe on her time or space more than he has so far, if it's not welcome.]
no subject
[ She doesn't mind the company of her friend, and she has to admit (silently) that this is better than being alone. Even if she doesn't have much else to say, just knowing he's there is enough. ]
no subject