we laughed at the darkness (OTA)

[endingpoint]

Who: Jane Doe, you
Where: various
When: through the month of December
Rating: PG-PG-13 possibly
Summary: Jane hasn't left her room since she got back. Very short network post included.
Note: She may seem antisocial but she's not. New CR may take her mind off of things, and close CR might get to hear the whole story.
The Story:

[ On Monday morning, there is a short, to the point text post that goes out: ]

The tattoo parlor is closed until further notice. Sorry for the inconvenience.

[ Once that's done, Jane has to decide if she actually wants to leave the room. She hasn't since their rooms changed back after the last event, she's just moved from living room to bedroom, alternating. She can deal with everything that happened, the bounty on her head, leaving Kurt for two years to keep him and his daughter safe. What she hasn't been able to cope with well at all has been knowing that she had a daughter eighteen years ago. Jane was a teenager, but she can't remember it. She can't remember being pregnant or giving birth. Cant remember holding her daughter or memorizing her face.

All Jane knows is that she hadn't wanted to give up her child if the intel she has is to be trusted. Which means Shepherd forced Jane - then Remi - to give up her infant. But the real problem is, can she trust anything? Can she trust a man who was a master forger, someone who worked for her mother and was in her pocket? How can she know her brother isn't manipulating her, trying to make her feel something that isn't real?

How could she forget something as intimate as her child growing inside of her?

Kurt's trying to help, he's trying to soothe, but it can feel suffocating and like it's just too much at times. She knows he means well, but there are times she has to get out of the room. He can't help her, not with this, so she does begin to leave the room periodically. She goes to the bar that's quietest, not the one run by Lucifer, and not the one Sarah works at, and nurses bourbon for hours. Some days, Jane sits on the beach for long periods of time, even with the chill in the air wearing only a hoodie and pants, arms wrapped around her knees, holding herself. She doesn't feel like sparring or sketching, so wherever she goes, she's simply, quiet. The library helps with that too, to sit and be still, not even necessarily doing anything important. She can wander there and look at interesting things, let something else occupy her mind for a while.

There is one night, late, that she goes to the roof and sits, and cries. Nothing loud, nothing gut-wrenching. Just quiet tears of grief and anger, of not knowing what to believe. Of knowing once again, her life has been violated and it's either the truth or a sick mind game her brother is playing.

Eventually, though, she always goes home to Kurt, quietly slipping into bed whether it's a normal time for sleeping or not. ]

Comments

the roof »

[mucked]

[ it's funny how some things happen.

before the night of ray and sarah's wedding, when she and jane and ducked out to visit the rooftop, peggy might never have considered what a decent spot it could be once the sun had set and the stars were out. and since then, she's passed a few evenings with her eyes tilted upward. watching a sky she doesn't recognize.

so tonight, well after it's dark, it feels a little bit like kismet that she should find jane sitting in the space she herself had intended to occupy. and if upon her approach peggy notices the evidence of tears? well. she won't say anything about it.

not at first, at any rate. ]

'Llo -- [ a mild greeting as peggy helps herself to a chair. it's a gesture which suggests she's not here to be tentative, nor even really to give jane a choice in whether she has company or not. ] Fancy meeting you here.

[endingpoint]

[ Sucking in a breath, Jane uses the sleeve of her hoodie to wipe away any errant tears, then manages some kind of smile that still has her lips pressed together and definitely doesn't make it to her eyes. ]

The mansion's a big place, but I think we all go to the same places to feel like we can breathe again.

[ She knew the risk since the roof tends to be a popular spot, but it's Peggy, and Jane doesn't mind her company at all. ]

[mucked]

That's a rather wise observation.

[ and it raises the question of what's got jane feeling like she can't breathe elsewhere. but still, peggy doesn't press the point. instead she folds her hands on her lap, crosses her legs at the ankles, and lets her attention shift back to the inky-black of the sky -- watching the dotting stars instead. ]

the beach

[noreason]

[Naoki is, like he does, running around Wonderland. It keeps him warm and expends some of his excess energy. He sees Jane, who he hasn't run into in awhile and slows as he approaches, coming to a stop a few yards away.]

Hey. You're not cold?

[He'll gladly hand over his own hoodie to layer over hers if she is.]

[endingpoint]

[ Jane looks up, blinking a little. Then, she just shakes her head. ]

Honestly, I didn't even realize. I'm okay, though.

[ With the cold, not so much anything else in her life. ]

[noreason]

[Naoki tilts his head to one side, moves a bit closer, and crouches down in the sand.]

What's up?

text

[screwedontight]

Didn't know there was a place for ink. Hope you end up opening again. After this latest shit, I think I need new work done.

[After all this place has done, he needed something to let him put it behind him.]

And given this place and all, random person just saying that if you need to blow shit up, I can tell you a place.]

text

[endingpoint]

It's been open for a while, but it's up on the 5th floor, out of the way.

[ She reads his next sentence and sits up a little in bed. ]

Literally, blow shit up?

text

[screwedontight]

Yeah, I've been drunk for a while so that might explain it.

[Which might not explain it all but still.]

Literally. I tend to use grenades, but I know someone here had a rocket launcher. The closet doesn't seem to care, and no one has smited me for blowing up the maze or things in the caves. Not yet.

[startingpoint]

[ He's not really sure when to expect Jane home these days. She's so quiet and subdued that some days, all he gets out of her is where she's heading out to when she feels like she needs to leave. He doesn't know how to handle this, especially having not experienced any of it. At first, he had tried so hard to just be there and show her he loves her, but it seemed like it was maybe too much, and she's pulled back. He still doesn't know how to help, and maybe he just can't.

He's cooked a meal, still doing that even though they have the closets. It's so late that he's put the leftovers away, though, and thinks about taking a shower. ]

[endingpoint]

[ When she gets home after being on the roof, she closes the door quietly and realizes as she smells food that she can't remember the last time she ate. Maybe it was last night, or yesterday morning. She has no idea, but her stomach does, and right now she's so hungry her stomach actually hurts.

Making her way to the kitchen, she sees Kurt and stands beside him. ]

Hey. Don't put that up, I'm...I'm actually hungry.

[ Reaching out, she presses a hand to his shoulder to reach past him gently to grab a fork. ]

It smells really good.

beach

[hypoxic]

[The last event was enough to throw a lot of them for a loop. Fitz is already at the beach when she arrives, uncharacteristically still and lacking in things to facilitate his fidgeting. He's alone on a blanket watching the waves crash in with the tidal movement.

As she approaches, he looks up to her and smiles softly, patting the fabric beside him without moving himself to make more room.]

Didn't think anyone else would be mad enough to sit out in the cold like this.

[endingpoint]

[ Jane didn't even think to bring a blanket. She hadn't been planning to wind up here, she just did, so here she is. She sits, drawing her knees up and looking out at the water. ]

That's why it's perfect. Well, at least I thought.

[ She's not smiling much these days, but she does look at him with a small smirk, teasing. Fitz is good company, he always has been. ]

The Bar

[suspense_kills_me]

[After the last event, and the one before, Red decides he needs to start being a little more social in this place, and starts checking out the bars. His primary goal is to find out as much as he can about the other people who live here first hand, his second? To find the one that has the best scotch.

He spots Jane at the bar, and sits one stool away from her and gestures toward her drink.]

Is that any good?

[endingpoint]

[ Jane looks over, shifting in her seat and nodding, then reaching behind the bar to pull the bottle and then slides it to him. ]

Good enough. My husband really likes it, so now I like it.

[ She downs the glass, then takes the bottle back when he's done, pouring herself another. ]

library;

[thecourier]

[He saw her post earlier in the day, but sometimes there just aren't the right words to ask what's wrong and that happened to be one of those times. Seeing her in the library, though, is another thing entirely and he isn't about to act like she isn't there or that he didn't see what she posted out.]

Hey.

[Dan had been part-way towards putting a book away but instead approaches her with it still in his hands, giving her a small, though undeniably friendly smile.]

Y' doin' okay?

[endingpoint]

[ Jane stops to consider his question, looking everywhere but at him as she runs through all the thing she could say in response. The polite thing to do would probably be to say she's fine. She shouldn't lay everything on so thick to everyone. She's afraid no one's going to care about this as much as she does other than Kurt. She's afraid to burden others, afraid to cry in front of them.

But it takes so long for her to respond that by this point, something is obviously wrong. So, she presses her lips together and shakes her head. ]

No. I uh...had a rough trip home. That's all.

[ If he asks, if he genuinely wants to know, she'll tell him, but she can't bring herself to dump it on him right away. ]

the roof

[directed]

[Making his way up to the roof to work is an old habit of Rip's, one temporarily lost when Wonderland saw fit to draw him back in after his mind had been toyed with by Eobard Thawne. Only recently has he taken it up again, carrying along some bit of technology or circuitry that he could work on just as well indoors, but choosing instead to spend some time in the open air.

Besides, the nights are pleasant enough at the moment; crisp before the full onslaught of winter. It's a decent diversion on those days when Rip finds he cannot sleep, and so he's claimed a spot near to one edge, and works on putting together the pieces of what looks to be a walther ppk—

If any parts of it glowed, at any rate. Appearances from the outside aside, Rip is assembling what most would colloquially deem a laser gun.

The gun is a touch smaller than he's used to, however; he goes to test it, a simple trigger pull with no , then hisses out a curse when the hammer snaps down hard on the webbing next to his thumb. He's unaware just yet that there's anyone else nearby, not until he stands up, shakes his hands and takes a few steps to walk off the pain.

It's only then that he spies the other woman on the roof—Jane, he recalls, given the woman's role at Ray and Sarah's wedding. No doubt she's heard his little fuss by now, leaving Rip momentarily looking akin to the metaphorical deer confronted by headlights.]

--Ah. My apologies; I didn't mean to disturb you.

[endingpoint]

[ Jane has definitely heard it, and by now she's stopped crying because she's wondering what the hell is going on. All she has to do is go around a corner and there Rip is, pacing. ]

You're not, it's a public space. Having gun trouble?

late with starbucks

[blackbirdsing]

[ Sarah doesn't hunt for Jane, she just goes to her room, letting herself in. She waits, and when the door opens it'll either be her brother or his wife. Either way is fine. There are some things Kurt hadn't told Sarah, said it would be better coming from Jane herself, so she's here with cookies just waiting.

When it is Jane who walks in, she stands from the couch. ]

Hey, I hope you don't mind. I just...I'm worried about you. Kurt said you've been having headaches lately.

[ Well, just the one. But she's going to play up the concerned sister-in-law card. ]

[endingpoint]

[ Jane tenses for a half second when she registers someone other than Kurt is in their room, then immediately relaxes and looks at Sarah. ]

It's not...I'm fine. You don't have to worry. He shouldn't have even bothered you with it.

[ She's a little defensive right out of the gate and tries to shake it off. ]

Sorry, it's just...the trip home wasn't great and I don't feel like company. It's not you, I promise.

roof

[geekorthodox]

[ She knows Jane will be up on the roof because she texted her about it. She's been worried about her friend since Thanksgiving, and they all feel so disconnected. Everything has been so terrible in Wonderland for months now, starting with her own death. Jane is so damn depressed now, and Patterson has no idea how to help, really. If Kurt, of all people, can't fix it, neither can she. But that won't strop her from just being a friend at least.

So she goes up to the roof, sitting with Jane, letting her cry quietly, rubbing her back a little. ]

[endingpoint]

[ Jane almost resists, but she's too tired to anymore. Instead, she clears her throat and looks out at the inky blackness of the night sky. ]

How much did Kurt tell you?

bar

[livemoore]

[ Liv is sitting at the bar when someone sits next to her. A very tattooed someone, and she looks over, smiling just a little. ]

Hey, I remember you. We met one time while you were drawing.

[ And then she reads the vibe and her smile fades. ]

...Are you okay?

[endingpoint]

[ Jane lets out a breath, and she tries to muster a smile but it falls flat. She's not okay, but it's rude to just say that, probably? ]

I remember you, too. Liv, right? I'm...I'll be okay. Eventually. Thank you for asking.