Alice Kruger ▶ Remi Briggs ▶ Jane ▶ Jane Weller (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
endingpoint) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
entrancelogs2017-12-01 03:07 pm
endingpoint) wrote in entrancelogs2017-12-01 03:07 pm
Entry tags:
we laughed at the darkness (OTA)
Who: Jane Doe, you
Where: various
When: through the month of December
Rating: PG-PG-13 possibly
Summary: Jane hasn't left her room since she got back. Very short network post included.
Note: She may seem antisocial but she's not. New CR may take her mind off of things, and close CR might get to hear the whole story.
The Story:
[ On Monday morning, there is a short, to the point text post that goes out: ]
The tattoo parlor is closed until further notice. Sorry for the inconvenience.
[ Once that's done, Jane has to decide if she actually wants to leave the room. She hasn't since their rooms changed back after the last event, she's just moved from living room to bedroom, alternating. She can deal with everything that happened, the bounty on her head, leaving Kurt for two years to keep him and his daughter safe. What she hasn't been able to cope with well at all has been knowing that she had a daughter eighteen years ago. Jane was a teenager, but she can't remember it. She can't remember being pregnant or giving birth. Cant remember holding her daughter or memorizing her face.
All Jane knows is that she hadn't wanted to give up her child if the intel she has is to be trusted. Which means Shepherd forced Jane - then Remi - to give up her infant. But the real problem is, can she trust anything? Can she trust a man who was a master forger, someone who worked for her mother and was in her pocket? How can she know her brother isn't manipulating her, trying to make her feel something that isn't real?
How could she forget something as intimate as her child growing inside of her?
Kurt's trying to help, he's trying to soothe, but it can feel suffocating and like it's just too much at times. She knows he means well, but there are times she has to get out of the room. He can't help her, not with this, so she does begin to leave the room periodically. She goes to the bar that's quietest, not the one run by Lucifer, and not the one Sarah works at, and nurses bourbon for hours. Some days, Jane sits on the beach for long periods of time, even with the chill in the air wearing only a hoodie and pants, arms wrapped around her knees, holding herself. She doesn't feel like sparring or sketching, so wherever she goes, she's simply, quiet. The library helps with that too, to sit and be still, not even necessarily doing anything important. She can wander there and look at interesting things, let something else occupy her mind for a while.
There is one night, late, that she goes to the roof and sits, and cries. Nothing loud, nothing gut-wrenching. Just quiet tears of grief and anger, of not knowing what to believe. Of knowing once again, her life has been violated and it's either the truth or a sick mind game her brother is playing.
Eventually, though, she always goes home to Kurt, quietly slipping into bed whether it's a normal time for sleeping or not. ]
Where: various
When: through the month of December
Rating: PG-PG-13 possibly
Summary: Jane hasn't left her room since she got back. Very short network post included.
Note: She may seem antisocial but she's not. New CR may take her mind off of things, and close CR might get to hear the whole story.
The Story:
[ On Monday morning, there is a short, to the point text post that goes out: ]
The tattoo parlor is closed until further notice. Sorry for the inconvenience.
[ Once that's done, Jane has to decide if she actually wants to leave the room. She hasn't since their rooms changed back after the last event, she's just moved from living room to bedroom, alternating. She can deal with everything that happened, the bounty on her head, leaving Kurt for two years to keep him and his daughter safe. What she hasn't been able to cope with well at all has been knowing that she had a daughter eighteen years ago. Jane was a teenager, but she can't remember it. She can't remember being pregnant or giving birth. Cant remember holding her daughter or memorizing her face.
All Jane knows is that she hadn't wanted to give up her child if the intel she has is to be trusted. Which means Shepherd forced Jane - then Remi - to give up her infant. But the real problem is, can she trust anything? Can she trust a man who was a master forger, someone who worked for her mother and was in her pocket? How can she know her brother isn't manipulating her, trying to make her feel something that isn't real?
How could she forget something as intimate as her child growing inside of her?
Kurt's trying to help, he's trying to soothe, but it can feel suffocating and like it's just too much at times. She knows he means well, but there are times she has to get out of the room. He can't help her, not with this, so she does begin to leave the room periodically. She goes to the bar that's quietest, not the one run by Lucifer, and not the one Sarah works at, and nurses bourbon for hours. Some days, Jane sits on the beach for long periods of time, even with the chill in the air wearing only a hoodie and pants, arms wrapped around her knees, holding herself. She doesn't feel like sparring or sketching, so wherever she goes, she's simply, quiet. The library helps with that too, to sit and be still, not even necessarily doing anything important. She can wander there and look at interesting things, let something else occupy her mind for a while.
There is one night, late, that she goes to the roof and sits, and cries. Nothing loud, nothing gut-wrenching. Just quiet tears of grief and anger, of not knowing what to believe. Of knowing once again, her life has been violated and it's either the truth or a sick mind game her brother is playing.
Eventually, though, she always goes home to Kurt, quietly slipping into bed whether it's a normal time for sleeping or not. ]
no subject
We'd only been married for...six months, had just finished remodeling our house. His daughter was asleep in her room and our electricity went out. Before we really knew what was happening there was a red dot on my forehead, he pushed me down and... all hell broke loose. We found out, right then, there was a bounty on my head. Brought in dead, payment upon delivery of my body.
[ She lets out a shaky breath. ]
They would have killed anyone in that house to get to me, and Kurt wanted me to stay, he begged me to, but I couldn't...I couldn't. So I left. In the middle of the night.
[ A poor decision, probably, but one born out of sheer fear. ]
no subject
or so she thought.
peggy shakes her head. ]
I believe with all my heart that I would have made that same decision. [ to leave, sod what anyone else says to try and convince her otherwise. ] At least until you could sort things out. Jane -- did you sort it out?
no subject
No. But I came back anyway because my brother kidnapped three friends. So. Now I'm home, and every day is a new problem threatening to ruin my life, courtesy of the person I couldn't take down two years ago.
[ Because he's her brother, because she wanted to believe she could bring him back from the dark. ]
We were kidnapped together. When we were kids. Our parents were murdered while we slept. The only person my brother had was me.
[ Just a little backstory into why her own brother would be so angry. ]
And now I've abandoned him. I thought I could save him. I wanted to.
no subject
the mark left by jane's brother, it seems, is a far more insidious kind. ]
We can't save everyone. [ no matter what the heroes like to say. ] Kin or otherwise. Harsh as it may sound, dear Jane, some fires need to burn themselves out.
[ not the nicest of comforts, peggy knows. but in her mind she's speaking the truth. ]
no subject
[ Said sadly. Because she does know. She realized it when Roman somehow inserted himself into her wedding video and threatened her on what should have been the happiest day of her life. ]
But that doesn't mean I'll ever stop wishing I could.
[ Peggy's words aren't sugar-coated and that's fine by Jane. This is closer to what she needs, what Kurt can't do. He won't risk saying anything that would upset her, make her hurt more even if it's the truth. ]
I know I won't hesitate next time I see him. He's hurting too many people to keep going free. And now, if he knows about the baby I had, she may be in danger and not even understand why.
no subject
and that's what she hopes to remind jane off with her next cautious offer. ]
-- Should he ever turn up here, do consider giving us a shout. [ peggy thinks for a moment about barnes. about the revelation of what hydra had done to him. of the danger he posed. ] No matter how certain you are now that you won't hesitate then.
[ peggy is prepared to throw her hat into that ring. ]
no subject
[ Yeah, Jane isn't holding back. If Roman shows up, he has to be detained or stopped. He's a sociopath who likes hurting people any way he can. ]
I don't know what we can do about it in a place with no law where he hasn't done anything wrong yet. All I can warn everyone about is what he'd done to me.
no subject
regulations, or a lack of them, won't stop her from laying roman krueger flat. or trying to. ]
If his path crosses mine then I'm convinced something can be done. [ but that's peggy. always harbouring faith in the power of a good right hook. ]
no subject
[ She lets out a breath and runs a hand through her hair. ]
Hopefully, he can't figure out a way to hide his scar.
[ After saying that, Jane looks at Peggy and this time there's something resembling...well, maybe resembling hope on her face. ]
Thank you. For letting me talk, for being trustworthy, for...everything.
no subject
Of course. [ anytime. it goes well-meant but unspoken. ] But I'd feel better if you told me who these people are, the ones who might recognize him -- not that I'll go interfering but...
More information always helps.
[ and all it takes it watching someone be pleased over a reunion. ]
no subject
[ She doesn't know Daisy's last name. ]
In their world, he was a part of their team, but he died. If Roman took advantage of that...he exploits pain. It's what he does best.
no subject
part of their team, she says. ]
So he looks like a SHIELD agent. [ peggy's cheeks puff. ] Agents Fitz and Simmons, and Miss Johnson? They're -- we are all of us from the same world. I mentioned once that there are people here from decades beyond me. They would be among that number.
[ that makes it easier. ]
I can assure you, Jane, that they are very good at what they do. They won't be tricked easily.
no subject
[ She does look a little relieved but also surprised. ]
I didn't realize you were a part of SHIELD.
no subject
[ she doesn't rush to explain how she'll apparently found shield, instead hedging around the point: ] But I've been told a thing or two about its eventual creation. Its work.
[ its downfall. ]
no subject
[ She wasn't here for the HYDRA event, so she has no idea what happens in the end. ]
Fitz has been a really good friend. We talk a lot, somehow, mostly during events. He was the only person I could trust during an event I eventually died during.
no subject
peggy offers a one-shouldered shrug. ] Fitz and the others recognized me by my face soon after I arrived. It was -- odd, to say the least. To be known for a life you honestly haven't lived much of. Yet.
no subject
[ She looks at Peggy with a sympathetic smile. ]
I know how that feels.
[ But at least it's not a handful of terrorists telling her she was an A+ cold-blooded killing machine. Peggy does have that going for her. ]
It'd be nice if people, even with good intentions, had a little more tact.
no subject
Not when I get shunted back home. [ a frown. ] For better or worse, I know I won't remember any of this.
no subject
I'm from Kurt's future, now. So I've told him all of this. And I think he feels stuck. He knows there's nothing he can do. I think it's up to me to get over it for now.
no subject
Stuck. Stuck's a very good word for it. Like feeling as though your steps are mapped out, like clockwork, and you've got no choice but to eventually go home and follow them.
no subject
Speaking of. I should go back to my room. Kurt...doesn't do much else but worry when I leave at night like this.
[ Standing, Jane looks at Peggy. ]
Thank you for being here. For listening. I really needed that.