Alice Kruger ▶ Remi Briggs ▶ Jane ▶ Jane Weller (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
endingpoint) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
entrancelogs2017-12-01 03:07 pm
endingpoint) wrote in entrancelogs2017-12-01 03:07 pm
Entry tags:
we laughed at the darkness (OTA)
Who: Jane Doe, you
Where: various
When: through the month of December
Rating: PG-PG-13 possibly
Summary: Jane hasn't left her room since she got back. Very short network post included.
Note: She may seem antisocial but she's not. New CR may take her mind off of things, and close CR might get to hear the whole story.
The Story:
[ On Monday morning, there is a short, to the point text post that goes out: ]
The tattoo parlor is closed until further notice. Sorry for the inconvenience.
[ Once that's done, Jane has to decide if she actually wants to leave the room. She hasn't since their rooms changed back after the last event, she's just moved from living room to bedroom, alternating. She can deal with everything that happened, the bounty on her head, leaving Kurt for two years to keep him and his daughter safe. What she hasn't been able to cope with well at all has been knowing that she had a daughter eighteen years ago. Jane was a teenager, but she can't remember it. She can't remember being pregnant or giving birth. Cant remember holding her daughter or memorizing her face.
All Jane knows is that she hadn't wanted to give up her child if the intel she has is to be trusted. Which means Shepherd forced Jane - then Remi - to give up her infant. But the real problem is, can she trust anything? Can she trust a man who was a master forger, someone who worked for her mother and was in her pocket? How can she know her brother isn't manipulating her, trying to make her feel something that isn't real?
How could she forget something as intimate as her child growing inside of her?
Kurt's trying to help, he's trying to soothe, but it can feel suffocating and like it's just too much at times. She knows he means well, but there are times she has to get out of the room. He can't help her, not with this, so she does begin to leave the room periodically. She goes to the bar that's quietest, not the one run by Lucifer, and not the one Sarah works at, and nurses bourbon for hours. Some days, Jane sits on the beach for long periods of time, even with the chill in the air wearing only a hoodie and pants, arms wrapped around her knees, holding herself. She doesn't feel like sparring or sketching, so wherever she goes, she's simply, quiet. The library helps with that too, to sit and be still, not even necessarily doing anything important. She can wander there and look at interesting things, let something else occupy her mind for a while.
There is one night, late, that she goes to the roof and sits, and cries. Nothing loud, nothing gut-wrenching. Just quiet tears of grief and anger, of not knowing what to believe. Of knowing once again, her life has been violated and it's either the truth or a sick mind game her brother is playing.
Eventually, though, she always goes home to Kurt, quietly slipping into bed whether it's a normal time for sleeping or not. ]
Where: various
When: through the month of December
Rating: PG-PG-13 possibly
Summary: Jane hasn't left her room since she got back. Very short network post included.
Note: She may seem antisocial but she's not. New CR may take her mind off of things, and close CR might get to hear the whole story.
The Story:
[ On Monday morning, there is a short, to the point text post that goes out: ]
The tattoo parlor is closed until further notice. Sorry for the inconvenience.
[ Once that's done, Jane has to decide if she actually wants to leave the room. She hasn't since their rooms changed back after the last event, she's just moved from living room to bedroom, alternating. She can deal with everything that happened, the bounty on her head, leaving Kurt for two years to keep him and his daughter safe. What she hasn't been able to cope with well at all has been knowing that she had a daughter eighteen years ago. Jane was a teenager, but she can't remember it. She can't remember being pregnant or giving birth. Cant remember holding her daughter or memorizing her face.
All Jane knows is that she hadn't wanted to give up her child if the intel she has is to be trusted. Which means Shepherd forced Jane - then Remi - to give up her infant. But the real problem is, can she trust anything? Can she trust a man who was a master forger, someone who worked for her mother and was in her pocket? How can she know her brother isn't manipulating her, trying to make her feel something that isn't real?
How could she forget something as intimate as her child growing inside of her?
Kurt's trying to help, he's trying to soothe, but it can feel suffocating and like it's just too much at times. She knows he means well, but there are times she has to get out of the room. He can't help her, not with this, so she does begin to leave the room periodically. She goes to the bar that's quietest, not the one run by Lucifer, and not the one Sarah works at, and nurses bourbon for hours. Some days, Jane sits on the beach for long periods of time, even with the chill in the air wearing only a hoodie and pants, arms wrapped around her knees, holding herself. She doesn't feel like sparring or sketching, so wherever she goes, she's simply, quiet. The library helps with that too, to sit and be still, not even necessarily doing anything important. She can wander there and look at interesting things, let something else occupy her mind for a while.
There is one night, late, that she goes to the roof and sits, and cries. Nothing loud, nothing gut-wrenching. Just quiet tears of grief and anger, of not knowing what to believe. Of knowing once again, her life has been violated and it's either the truth or a sick mind game her brother is playing.
Eventually, though, she always goes home to Kurt, quietly slipping into bed whether it's a normal time for sleeping or not. ]
no subject
You really wanna know?
[ Okay then. ]
I went home last week and found out...some things. I had to go into hiding for almost two years. Away from my husband, my stepdaughter, the new home we just remodeled together. Now he's found me, we're together again, and I found out I had a daughter when I was sixteen. But my memories were erased so, you know. I don't remember her at all.
no subject
[ Liv wasn't prepared for that at all, and she turns to face the woman fully now. ]
How...how did you even find out about her?
[ She's just taking a wild guess that 'mystery daughter' is the reason she's so upset. ]
no subject
Someone from my past contacted me. I literally came back to Wonderland with the birth records in my hand. I had a baby, and I can't...remember her. I know my memories were erased, but giving birth? Being pregnant? How could I forget all of that?
no subject
[ Liv is so out of her element, holy shit. ]
no subject
[ There's a whole other element involved, of her being brainwashed by a psychopath, but it takes too long to explain. ]
no subject
Regardless, I guess, you're torn up about it now. I mean, maybe you can find her. Maybe the birth certificate can lead you in some kind of direction toward her. If you want that, I mean.
no subject
[ Jane sighs heavily, resting her forehead in her hand. ]
My life's a mess. I'm in danger all the time. She's probably better off without me, I just...wish I could remember what I did have. I wish I could know she's safe.
no subject
no subject
No. I mean, yes, I could do that. Maybe...part of me is afraid of what I'll find. What if her life is a mess like mine? Or...what if she's happy? What if she has no idea she's adopted and...I don't matter?
no subject
[ Right? Is she helping? This is terrible. ]
no subject
[ Looking at Liv, Jane smiles just a little. ]
Thank you. For listening.
no subject
no subject
[ Jane gets up, smiling one more time at Liv. ]
I'll see you around.