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[shrinkage]

Who: Ray Palmer and a willing white knight (that's YOU buddy)
Where: A room on a floor as yet undetermined
When: Feb 2
Rating: E for everyone
Summary: You know about holodeck malfunction tropes, right?
The Story:

Uhm. Help?!

[ the dulcet sounds of a man in over his head float out of the room and into the hallway. he sounds more hesitant than panicked, with a dash of confused. he repeats his plea every so often, a little more exhausted and less amused depending how long it's been since he found himself in a predicament. ]

Anyone out there? Could use a hand!

( ooc | not necessary but feel free to prompt me with idk a holodeck setting or theme or word or whatever. otherwise, just poke a head in and i'll give you some sort of wacky shenanigans to "rescue" ray from! )

Comments

i will always go for the surprise me option

[meanestgirl]

[And naturally when she hears about someone being in trouble, Kimberly is going to come running because superheroes gotta save the day or something.

She also knows that voice and knowing what she does know of that voice, he probably did this to himself, and needs a hand getting out of it. Seriously, Ray, you need a babysitter.]

What happened?

gosh this is why you're the favorite you know

[shrinkage]

No, don't--!

[ ray's hands are in the air and he's yelling, but it's too late-- the door slides shut behind kim and the lock clicks home with a heavy thud.

the three soldier types who were holding ray at gunpoint now swing to focus on kim. (godmod those suckers away if you wanna beat em up btw.) ]

I pressed a wrong button and they keep-- [ one of the soldiers cut him off, shouting a command at him. "nobody told you to stop dancing!" and then ray proceeds to ... macarena.

the soldiers hate it but it's all ray knows anymore. ]

<3

[meanestgirl]

[Okay so there are guns. There is dancing. This is kind of weird, but given that it's Ray, that's sort of a given.

That being said, Kim's just going to hold up her hands and take a small step closer.]

I'm sure there's a way to work this out where we can stop having bad nineties flashbacks.

[shrinkage]

[ he looks utterly pitiful and apologetic and also lacking rhythm. ]

I tried the Electric Boogaloo before. They really hated that one. Hey...

[ but now that kim's further in and talking more she seems kinda familiar. ray's brow dips for a moment before it comes back to him-- ]

Didn't I almost kill you once?

surprise me!

[revokes]

[ one of the iron legion robots comes first. they're programmed to react to certain words. help is one of them. it crashes through the door to try and find out what the source of the problem is.

it's a slow day, so iron man is just behind him. ]

--- are you serious?

[ as if his life isn't difficult enough. ]

lmk if this is too much <3

[shrinkage]

[ what?

can't a man dress up in a shining suit of armor and make a light sabe-- no, sorry. not allowed to call it that. a ... zap sword? let's go with zap sword.

on impulse, said zap sword swings in an arc at what ray at first assumes is a new opponent-- sorry about your legion bot, tony. ]

Oh my gosh I'm so sorry!

[ he gapes at tony, and then down at the mangled robot and then back up at tony. ]

You probably don't have insurance, right?

[revokes]

[ back home, tony has robots who build robots. in wonderland, however, each one of his ten robots is his own creation. a result of hours and hours of work in his workshop. the one that ray so ungracefully dismantled was the only one with a name.

out of pure righteous spite, he lifts his arm only once to use the repulsors and send ray blasting against the nearest wall. not a fall that would injure but definitely one that will hurt. ]

neither do you, waste of breath.

[ this was his favorite bot :| ]

FRIDAY, write a new protocol that we are now to allow this man to die horribly. saving him might cause expenses that I can't afford.

[ from his phone, a voice speaks, right, boss. ]

[shrinkage]

[ there he goes, a sack of potatoes. also there goes his sword, sparking and clattering to the ground. and also-also here comes the black knight (probably doesn't say nee, but really this whole program is a hot mess and it would serve ray right to die with such a lack of dignity).

ray groans, rolling from his side to sit up and try to process what mayhem he's caused now... ]

What the...? [ now there are two knights in scary armor trying to kill him? ] Oh, pancakes. Gideon? Are you gonna let me end the current program now?

[ and from unseen speakers floats a lovely englishwoman's voice, full of sass and skepticism: "the current program has been set to disregard all directives until the next checkpoint has been reached. also, as i've already told you, i'm not gideon."

guess it's time to try to crawl back to that sword, then... ]

i couldn't resist

[middlefinger]

[wynonna hears her good friend ray call out for trouble and she is not one to ignore that so she pokes her head in...only to find herself walking into what looks like an old western town, one that seems to be in the middle of a group of bandits terrorizing the place, ray included. well, at least she has Peacemaker on her, which she pulls out at the ready.]

Sorry, I think Doc would be more help in this than I would be but I'm what you're stuck with.

you read my actual mind a+ i love it so much

[shrinkage]

[ this is the start of a perfect year. why? ray has gotten a willing hug from wynonna, and now she's riding in like a bad ass to save his skin. seriously. there's no topping this.

a quick look at ray sees him dressed as sherriff, though his confidence isn't as convincing as it's been in the past. he grins with relief and excitement at wynonna's entrance and doesn't notice the door locking shut behind her.

his eyes stay on wynonna, but he calls back to the bandits, hand on his own holstered pistol. ]

Well, now. Looks like you got a world o' trouble coming your way. This here's my very good friend, Wynonna. [ the bandits chuckle, unfazed. ray turns dramatically to look at them now. ] Wynonna Earp.

[ ...was that a western whistle? ]

i am glad. i love it too

[middlefinger]

[wynonna has never been able to resist saving a damsel in distress, especially if said damsel was one of her good friends like ray is. she doesn't notice the door shutting behind her either -- she isn't known for being the most observant, sadly.]

Hey, you stole my dramatic intro! [there was totally a western whistle. she keeps Peacemaker pointed at the bandits.]

You're probably going to want to let my friend go.

[shrinkage]

[ he lets out a whoops, sorry! that falls by the wayside as wynonna starts doing her thing. if she's looking closely (idk it's wynonna probably not) she'll see the seams of the program working as lines and glitches flicker the bandits and the small dusty town around them.

and he's paying little enough attention that one of the bandits takes their chance and yanks him into a headlock, dragging him back toward the rest of the group with little effort. ]

Hey! She said let me go, not kidnap me harder!

SURPRISE YOUR WIFE

[blackbirdsing]

[ Sarah raises her eyebrows and walks into the room, standing there, staring at the only thing that makes sense - Ray. ]

Hey, babe. Whatcha doin'?

YOU GOT IT BABE

[shrinkage]

Babe hold the--!

[ thunk. the door slams shuts and locks once sarah's fully in the room. and here's sarah's husband, dressed in a crisp business suit and surrounded by chrome and leather. it's an office of sorts-- or, rather, an entire floor that looks like it belongs to a single person.

ray looks suddenly sheepish, as if he's been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. ]

Hey hon. Welcome to, uh, to Palmer Technologies?

[blackbirdsing]

...Ray? Are we locked in here now?

[ She raises her eyebrows, then looks around slowly. ]

I mean, not that it isn't impressive but are we locked in here?

[shrinkage]

[ insert panicked nodding here!!!!!! ]

I don't know what happened. This guy keeps bringing me stuff to sign, and a secretary keeps telling me I have board meetings to go to, and this tie is really tight and itchy and if this is really who I used to be? I sucked, babe!

[ a random nerd tech guy shows up out of the blue, wordlessly handing ray a clipboard with a pen on it. in a practiced motion, ray takes the pen and starts signing papers like crazy. ]

I just chose a program to help me try to remember stuff, and suddenly Gideon's voice was telling me the safeties were off and that the program would autorun until I said the termination phrase.

surprise me

[directed]

[Rip hasn't specifically sought out Ray since his encounter with Oliver Queen; there's been an event in between, and he's wanted the time to come to terms with what he suspects to be true. Yet the call of a familiar voice cannot be merely ignored when Rip hears it; habit has him unholstering his gun while Rip makes his way down the hall to the correct door.]

Doctor Palmer? [Rip calls out, pistol at the ready as he opens the door.] Is everything quite alright?

you got it

[shrinkage]

[ rip is treated to the sight of ray, dressed in the atom suit, getting tossed across the room by some unseen assailant. his yell is more pitiful than anything, considering the armor can take a beating even on a bad day.

and then there's a snick-snick-snick sound, clattering somewhere in the shadow beyond. not like horse hooves, or dog nails on linoleum. more like...

oh, that's a cockroach. that's a really big cockroach coming to greet rip at the door. ]

Look out! They're hungry!

[ ...they? ]

omg ray really

[directed]

...oh bloody hell!

[Fortunately for them both, Rip's hands are quite quicker than even his curses; his gun already out, he takes quick aim as soon as the apparent first of the cockroaches makes it's appearance. Of all the possibilities, Ray has managed to make monsters out of insects known for their ability to survive a nuclear blast.

Well. Certainly it is a Legends-worthy screw-up, he must say.

The first shots are experimental, taken to find a weakness while Rip runs the only way he truly can: further into the room. What he expects, however, is that his shots will be far less effective than what Ray himself should be capable of doing--and in case his mind-altered state hasn't allowed him to realize it, Rip helpfully shouts over his suggestion.]

Shrink them back down to size, Ray!

[Preferably before Rip gets eaten by a giant roach, of all things.]

:)

[shrinkage]

You mean unshrink us?

[ and if rip takes in their surroundings mid-danger, he'll see that they're in a dark office. an office that's apparently meant for giants, if the huge desk they're currently on is any indication. oversized paper clips and folders and a thumb drive offer something of an obstacle course.

ray reaches out to yank rip down behind a stack of post-its for a momentary respite from the assault. ]

Yeah, that's not exactly an option just now...

surprise me with something ridiculous :v

[thecourier]

Uh...

[That... is a disembodied(?!) voice, and it's the general lack of alarm and panic in it that has him only resting a hand on his weapon, rather than actually drawing it.]

Yeah, huh. What-- [He pushes the door open, and there isn't a word for the expression on his face as he takes in what's on the other side.] ... in the god damn?

[shrinkage]

[ dan is suddenly surrounded by silicon and metal. pathways of circuitry cut through the room, impulses of light traveling back and forth with alarming speed.

a man is suddenly tossed backward in dan's field of vision, landing in some sort of adhesive goo. ray palmer, the damsel of our tale, lets out a pained oof! and the microchip that looks more like a spider than a microchip scurries toward his prone form to finish the job.

zap-zap! ]

[thecourier]

Oh, man, this brings back bad memories. [Dan mutters to himself, barely half a moment before a man is unceremoniously tossed across in front of him.

He doesn't hesitate more than a heartbeat, before he takes a few hurried steps forwards to plant his foot on top of the 'spider' making a beeline towards the other man. Trapping it, but not crushing it, he looks up with both eyebrows raised.

Sometimes things aren't exactly what they seem.]

Squash it, or don't squash it?

maggie (talesuntold)

[shrinkage]

Atomize!

[ oh, what's that? ]

Shrinkify!

[ is that a grown ass man dressed in shiny red and blue armor jumping around what looks like a super duper high tech workshop with cool blinking lights and holograms and stuff? ]

You've tested me for the last time! Now feel the wrath of the Atom! Pchew-phcew!

[ oh god now he's making shooty noises with his actual mouth while he shoots at himself in the mirror. maggie please save the mansion from this atrocity... ]

[talesuntold]

And he sure does have an audience. If he turns around, Ray will be treated to the sight of Maggie doubled over, one hand covering her mouth to stifle her laughter. She forfeits that battle when he starts with the shooting noises, clutching the doorway as she gives in and laughs loudly enough that he can probably hear her over his own sound effects.