[OPEN] forgot what i was losing my mind about

[deadshapes]

Who: Mae and YOU
Where: Around the Mansion and grounds
When: 2/9-2/11
Rating: PG-13 for potential violence and mental health issues
Summary: Mae is about fifteen, fresh off The Incident, where she attacked and almost killed a fellow student. Now she's stuck in a world with strange looking people and dinosaurs. She's pretty sure she's gone insane.
The Story:


A: (kitchen) woke up on the wrong side of reality

It's official, then. Everyone was right. Mae Borowski is insane.

She's in an enormous house she's never been to before, and everyone around her doesn't look--normal. The people she's seen are all tall, hairless creatures. She's pretty sure they're still people, since they're wearing clothes and talking, but they're not normal. Maybe aliens. They're not actual aliens, she's sure. It's just her mind making them look that way. So she tries not to look at them too much, because if she stares then people will start asking what's wrong.

There's also dinosaurs outside. She knows plenty about dinosaurs. She had like a thousand plastic dinosaurs as a kid.

So this is what insanity is like. It's weird. She doesn't really feel crazy. She just kind of feels lost and numb, and like she's about three inches to the left of her own body. Everything's just...sort of floaty.

She hides out in her room for most of the first day, but eventually she gets up the courage to go exploring. Might as well explore this insane asylum or whatever it is. Where are all the doctors?

She ends up in the kitchen, where she finds a box of off-brand Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Then she tucks herself into a corner of the kitchen and just starts eating out of the box, staring into space and trying not to think too hard about what's happening. She's got a journal and pen with her and occasionally jots something down.


B: (roof) there's a madness that's just coursing right through me

Later on, she starts getting the hang for how this crazy fever dream of hers is going to work. It's all magic-based or whatever, and the closets have infinite resources. Junk food, blankets, baseball bats, you name it. She started to get a bat out of the closet, then thought against it. No weapons. Bad idea. She might hurt someone again.

Instead, she starts gathering a whole bunch of small drinking glasses and carries them up to the roof. The roof is a bit dangerous, considering there's like...pteradactyls and shit. They leave her alone once they realize what she's doing, though. Mae just sort of starts tossing the glasses and letting them smash onto the roof. Once she's done with one batch, she sweeps up the broken glass--she doesn't want to be that guy who leaves broken glass everywhere--and then starts it all over again.

It's cathartic. It's helping.

Comments

b

[yelloweyed]

David doesn't remember how he got at the top of these stairs. The stairwell reaches up into a very final-looking door, and David vaguely remembers running into this door once, checking it to see that it was just the roof, and wisely walked away from it. People like him don't have any business being on roofs.

But here he is again, without any recollection as to actually walking up here, and he decides, fuck it. He's sure had some days for these past few. Maybe he can catch a break up where fewer people might be around.

He opens the door, peering through, catching sight of a cat person. It... She looks like she's another one of the kids running around, actually.

That's normal. That's fine. She's not the first strange person he's seen, but so far, he's just assumed these people were part of his illness again. Just more hallucinations. Like jungles in the hospital, or dead friends in his sister's basement. More stuff that can't exactly be explained by "superpowers", no matter what Melanie Bird says.

So he just figures she's another hallucination. David glances at her as she tosses a glass onto the ground, and he just walks onto the roof, leaning against the wall of the bulkhead and watching her break things and start to sweep it all up. He doesn't say anything, because talking to your hallucinations is never a good thing to start doing.

Not that he doesn't do it all the time, but that's mostly because his hallucinations talk first.

b

[deadshapes]

The roof access door swings open and she freezes in place, holding a glass, arm cocked back as she was about to throw. She whips her head toward him, eyes going wide.

It's another one of those...humans? The hairless people. Maybe he works here. Whatever the hell here even is.

He just caught her intentionally breaking glass, though. And he looks like an adult. He's probably going to yell at her. She stays frozen, breathing a little hard from the effort of throwing these things. She was never all that good at pitching. Hitting, sure.

He's not...doing anything. He just sort of stands there. Almost looking through her, which makes her feel like she's not really here at all. Which, well, she's been getting used to that feeling.

After another few moments, she squints at him a little, then throws the glass in her hand. It shatters on the roof. She casts a quick glance to see what he thinks of that, but there's no reaction. So she picks up another one and throws it too.

He's not even saying anything. God, maybe he's not even there. Maybe she's just staring at empty air.

She throws another glass.

"Are you even, like..."

She's not sure if you're supposed to talk to hallucinations. Probably not, right? But he might not be a hallucination. How are you ever supposed to tell? Is this just her life now, not knowing what's real? She bares her teeth.

"I mean, either come stop me or--like, if you wanna throw one, you can. I've got extra. Just--say something. Or do something, or. Ugh. If you're even real..."

[yelloweyed]

This isn't the first kid who's asked if he's real, though at least this one is about the age he was when he was diagnosed. If he can even guess at a cat-person's age. It's a little less unsettling, but still is, because when a hallucination starts asking if you're the hallucination, things start to get dicey.

"I... I was just watching. I thought you weren't real." This is awkward. Does that mean all the other strange people he's seen are real too?

Or maybe this hallucination is just really convincing.

David pushes away from the wall and approaches one of the glasses on the floor and picks it up, inspecting it. It feels real. He throws it in the same direction she has been, flinching when it breaks against the roof.

He's starting to get more used to breaking glass since he's gotten here and mirrors have manifested as a new source of paranoia, but he still can't get the hospital out of his mind whenever he's the one causing it. The feel of a needle in his neck. He can almost feel it now.

He shakes his head, trying to get the thought out of it.

[deadshapes]

He hears her, at least, he can tell by the look on his face. Maybe that's a good sign. Maybe not. She isn't sure. No one really gave her an instruction manual on what counts as "normal" within the bounds of being insane.

"Oh."

He though she wasn't real? Well, hell, maybe she isn't.

"I mean...I guess I don't know if I am. I--lately I feel like I might not be."

He approaches, though. She watches him sidelong, just in case he actually is real and is some kind of threat. But he just picks up a glass, tests the weight and then throws it. She smiles when she hears it shatter. That's good. Hallucinations can't throw things, right? Ghosts can, but ghosts are easier to deal with than hallucinations.

"You got a pretty good arc on that one."

[yelloweyed]

"That's nice. I don't... do this a lot. Or at least I try not to. Usually gets me into trouble."

He's still thinking about what she said before that, though. Hallucinations don't second guess themselves. Do they? Not usually. David tears his gaze away from the broken glass back to the cat-looking girl.

"I feel like that sometimes," he admits.

a

[bibliocorn]

Sunburst is absolutely drawn to a species he at least recognises. The first one since he got here, in all honesty. She doesn't look so hot, though, so he walks over slowly, offering a small, reassuring smile. He really hopes she's not a flight risk- or worse, likely to attack him. He doesn't think so. She's considerably less freaky than the human-things, anyway. He'll take his potential allies where he can find them. "Um...Hi? Are you okay down there?"

[deadshapes]

There's...some kind of orange horse walking up to her. She goes still, watching him. This is like...like a nicer version of before, when the world went all splintered and broken. Everything had been weirdly colorful, and he kind of matches that aesthetic. He's not broken shapes, though. He's very clearly a horse, or--well, a unicorn, she supposes.

And he's talking.

Dr. Hank mentioned some weird stuff about childhood memories and regression and something, and Mae remembers having a stuffed unicorn as a kid. She'd almost believe that this was some kind of bullshit where she gets to talk to her childhood toys, like in that one movie, but he's orange. Her plush unicorn was blue and purple.

So, okay. She's just even crazier than she thought. As hallucinations go, this just reminds her of one time she accidentally took Ambien.

"I'm eating cereal."

She has no idea if it's wise to talk to hallucinations, but what the hell else is she supposed to do? Jeez, that wasn't even an answer to the actual question he asked.

"Do you know what the deal with this...kitchen is? I mean...this is like, a hospital or something, right? But like, it wouldn't make sense to let crazy people use a kitchen unsupervised. Right?"

[bibliocorn]

The orange horse keeps watching her, concern evident. He wonders if this place did something to her. It seems to be an awful land to be captured into, from everything he's learned. He can't help but feel concerned for something he considers at least on his level of existence. "Uh, everybody has said we can just eat whatever we like...crazy or not? But this isn't a hospital, it's a mansion. Like, there's no doctors or nurses or anything like that. Just lots of different beings trapped here all the same." There's a lengthy pause. "Would you like a bowl and spoon to go with your cereal?"

[deadshapes]

She frowns a little, staring into space for a moment. This is weird. It's like he can see what she's seeing.

Well, he's a figment of her imagination, right? It would make sense if he was seeing the same thing.

"I mean, I know it looks like a mansion, but it can't be. There's no reason for me to be in some--rich people place. I just don't really get why I'm hallucinating it that way? Like I know this stuff isn't supposed to make sense cause that's what makes it crazy, but. I dunno."

She grabs out another handful of cereal.

"Nah, I'm good."

a

[naughty_nurse]

Mikan is in the kitchen, getting her usual supplies when she spots Mae. Oblivious to the fact that this is a younger Mae, she casually waves as she walks on by.

"Hello, Mae."

[deadshapes]

She peers up at the stranger, eyes going a little wider. Okay, it's. It's one of the--humans, right? That's what they are? And she's talking to Mae like she knows her, and she's dressed kind of like...a nurse, almost.

If this is a hospital and she's been institutionalized and just--forgotten about it, then this makes a lot of sense.

"Uh...I'm sorry if I'm not supposed to be here."

Her voice probably sounds a bit younger.

"I just got hungry. And, um, I think I'm hallucinating, so I can't be sure, but I don't think I saw any staff on the way here...so...I dunno, I'm just like. Not sure where I'm supposed to be. I didn't know these places let--uhhh, the patients use the kitchen."

[naughty_nurse]

It takes a few rounds of blinking for what happened to set in, and it does, Mikan looks away for a bit, musing out loud. "So it happened to her too... I was kind of hoping she'd be a kitten..."

Oh well! With that stated, she turns back to Mae. "You can eat whatever you like here, and you're not hallucinating. I know you might be scared and paranoid now... but it's temporary."

[deadshapes]

"Huh? What'd you say?"

She's pretty sure she heard the word kitten. Which is a little weird. Well, her parents sometimes called her that when she was younger. Maybe it's just an endearment.

"Okay. Temporary is good." She munches some more cereal. "I'm definitely hallucinating, though. But that's fine. I've gotten used to it."

B

[noreason]

Since the beginning of the event, Naoki has been wandering around basically collecting friends--seeing who's normal and who isn't, seeing if and where he can help out. He's checked all over for people he knows, except the roof. So he might as well head up there. If nothing else, he'll get a good view of the dinosaurs.

He finds Mae doing...well, exactly what he might have expected Mae to be doing, honestly.

"Everything okay, Mae?"

She looks a bit different, so he's going to assume that, like so many others, she's younger than normal.

[deadshapes]

She freezes when she notices someone else is on the roof. No one has really--gotten upset at her yet, or told her she was breaking the rules, but she's still not entirely convinced that she's not locked up in some mental institution. Someone's gotta come along at some point and tell her the crazy people can't just be up on the roof throwing glass everywhere, right?

He already knows her name, even.

She kind of just stares at him for a minute.

"Yeah, I'm fine." She throws another glass. "Uh, I don't want to be awkward or anything but I--I don't know you."

[noreason]

"I'm getting that a lot lately."

Why is literally everyone he knows younger and more upset than normal? At least no one seems to be that bothered by his appearance, even the ones who have turned into little kids.

"My name's Naoki. You and I are kind of friends."

[deadshapes]

"Oh. Sorry."

Man, maybe she's not the only one who's gone crazy. Maybe everyone here is crazy. Does this mean she's...forgotten about this guy? She's seen a few humans at this point, but he doesn't really look all that human. Unless the glowing and such is just a fashion statement?

"We are?" She studies him for another few moments, trying to wrack her brains. "...Sorry. Nothing's coming to me. Uh...I'm kind of like, insane right now I guess, so it's not your fault or anything."

a

[backpacking]

[ Ellie knows by now that people... aren't themselves, and that's been more than a little weird. Sad, in some cases, what with her friends losing their memories of who she is and where they are.

Like Mae, Ellie thought to go to the kitchen to try and feel better, and she's there with a stack of chocolate-chip cookies when she other appears. ]

... Hey. [ She ventures, even though Mae has retreated into a corner and probably wants to be left alone. ] Um... you alright?

[ Probably not, but. Might as well ask. ]

[deadshapes]

[Another human-thing. She has to admit, for as freaky as everyone looks right now, at least they've all been pretty nice to her. No one's yelled at her, no one's tried to tell her that she's supposed to be somewhere else or doing something. It really doesn't make sense. If this is some kind of mental institution, shouldn't people be like--telling her what to do by now?]

Uh, hi.

[Is this just someone checking up on her, or is this someone she's supposed to know?]

Uh, I'm okay. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be doing.

[backpacking]

"What you're supposed to be doing?" [ Ellie repeats dubiously, chuckling. ] Uh... I mean, I don't think anybody knows that.

[ Do they? She doesn't think it seems so. ]

We can find something to do, if you're bored, or something. [ Or just in need of distraction. ]

[deadshapes]

I just mean like...am I supposed to be somewhere? Like, no one's told me anything. I'm pretty sure this is a hospital and I'm just hallucinating, and I don't want to make a scene or anything. So I figured I'd just wait for someone to tell me "oh, you're supposed to go here for your pills" or whatever, but no one's said anything yet?

[She's seen a whole lot of people so far who don't look like nurses or anything of the sort.]

b

[postictal]

At some point or another, he ends up back here. Where it's...safe, they say. Safe, but not really. Safe, in the way that the hospital is safe, even if he doesn't really feel very safe. It's kind of stupid for people to say that he's safe, when he doesn't much feel it, but they seem happier saying it.

There's no one really watching out for him. He ends up on the roof, because the night air is reassuringly cool.

Until he hears the tinkle of breaking glass, and flinches.

Flinches. Steps back.

...steps forward again. He can be brave. He can be brave enough to face the things that aren't there. That might not be real. That might not be, or might be, but either way, they can't hurt him, if he doesn't let them.

"...hello?"

[deadshapes]

She pauses with another glass raised, prepared to throw. Was that a voice? She's seen other people come up here by now--and still no one has yelled at her or told her that she's supposed to be doing this or that.

She doesn't understand this at all.

She looks around, peering through the gloom.

"Hello? Someone there?"

It's dark, but she's always had pretty good night vision. She squints when she spots a small figure nearby.

"Uh, hi?"

[postictal]

Dark fur. Two ears. Large, glowing eyes.

Is she real? Not real? Almost everything here has been real, and that's the thing - maybe this is the first thing that isn't. Or maybe it's just as real, just as tangible, and he should stop thinking that this is something he can pretend away.

Screw his eyes shut. Blink hard. Open them again. Squint.

Still there.

A tentative step forward - small. Nervous. Scared.

For all his determination to refrain from it, the question still boils out regardless:

"Are you real?"

[deadshapes]

It's another human. Nothing but humans here, it seems. And a unicorn. But mostly humans. No one who looks like she does.

She's the one who's out of place.

He's small, too, and Mae has noticed a lot of similarities between humans and the people back home. Humans pretty much are people, just with no fur of animalistic appearances. For instance, small humans are usually kids. Especially if they have higher voices, like this one does.

He sounds scared, and the question is...well, she's not sure how to answer that. But there's a scared kid talking to her, so she carefully sets the glass back down on the roof.

"I don't know. I think so. But I don't really know how to tell anymore."

Might as well be honest.

"That's why I'm up here breaking things. It--I dunno. Makes things solid."

She nudges the glass with her foot, tipping it over with a clink.

"Why are you up here? You could get carried off by a pteranodon or something."