Stanley Pines (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
charlastan) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
entrancelogs2018-02-22 01:40 am
charlastan) wrote in entrancelogs2018-02-22 01:40 am
Love bite got you acting oh so strange | CLOSED
Who: Stan [charlastan], Mabel [powerofmabel], and a special surprise guest that no one will ever guess.
Where: Third Floor Hallway!
When: February 22nd, afternoon
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Mabel threatened to spy on Stan to find out about his secret love life, and Stan took the challenge. After a few weeks of being a boring, gross old man he's pretty sure he has this one in the bag. ...Until he doesn't.
The Story:
[Stan's been busy the last few weeks, ever since he made another horrible, horrible wager with Mabel. One would think he would have learned the first time, but he's pretty sure he can wait her out.
Since the beginning of the month, Stan has made an extra effort to be as much of a boring old man as possible. He spent an entire day doing crossword puzzles (badly), and another reading every issue of Gold Chains for Old Men magazine that he could pull from the closets. He has an old-timey movie marathon and makes sure each one is more terrible than the last, while proclaiming loudly to no one in particular (since he's "obviously alone") that those movie guys sure knew what they were doing in the good old days.
Frankly, he's been doing a lot of talking to himself in the last few weeks, as though he fully expects Mabel to be around any given corner. He announces when he's going to be scratching himself, congratulates himself on particularly audible and stinky farts, and one afternoon he did nothing but dig wax out of his ears with his pinky finger. For the whole afternoon. If someone was spying on him, their only consolation is that they probably got to watch him play with his kitten a great deal. Evidence of Stan playing with an adorable animal is not the same as confirming that Stan is dating the only other old man in the mansion though, and if Stan has his way she'll never get that evidence. NEVER.
Sure, Mabel is a sneaky kid, but Stan is the king of the long con. He's pretty sure he could keep this up forever - or until she gives up, which he's pretty sure will happen first.
Eventually, he catches her in the hall, and he grins and waves at her like he hasn't been deliberately living his most boring life to mess with her stakeouts.]
Hey there, Pumpkin! What's shakin'?
charlastan], Mabel [powerofmabel], and a special surprise guest that no one will ever guess.Where: Third Floor Hallway!
When: February 22nd, afternoon
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Mabel threatened to spy on Stan to find out about his secret love life, and Stan took the challenge. After a few weeks of being a boring, gross old man he's pretty sure he has this one in the bag. ...Until he doesn't.
The Story:
[Stan's been busy the last few weeks, ever since he made another horrible, horrible wager with Mabel. One would think he would have learned the first time, but he's pretty sure he can wait her out.
Since the beginning of the month, Stan has made an extra effort to be as much of a boring old man as possible. He spent an entire day doing crossword puzzles (badly), and another reading every issue of Gold Chains for Old Men magazine that he could pull from the closets. He has an old-timey movie marathon and makes sure each one is more terrible than the last, while proclaiming loudly to no one in particular (since he's "obviously alone") that those movie guys sure knew what they were doing in the good old days.
Frankly, he's been doing a lot of talking to himself in the last few weeks, as though he fully expects Mabel to be around any given corner. He announces when he's going to be scratching himself, congratulates himself on particularly audible and stinky farts, and one afternoon he did nothing but dig wax out of his ears with his pinky finger. For the whole afternoon. If someone was spying on him, their only consolation is that they probably got to watch him play with his kitten a great deal. Evidence of Stan playing with an adorable animal is not the same as confirming that Stan is dating the only other old man in the mansion though, and if Stan has his way she'll never get that evidence. NEVER.
Sure, Mabel is a sneaky kid, but Stan is the king of the long con. He's pretty sure he could keep this up forever - or until she gives up, which he's pretty sure will happen first.
Eventually, he catches her in the hall, and he grins and waves at her like he hasn't been deliberately living his most boring life to mess with her stakeouts.]
Hey there, Pumpkin! What's shakin'?
no subject
She must have inherited the Pines Stubborn Streak, because anything Stan can dish, she can take, lurking in her special hiding places, scribbling notes in her notebook, taking secret videos of Stan playing with his kitten.
When he meets her in the hall, however, she is on her last legs. She's getting bags under her eyes that make it seem like she and Dipper switched bodies again, and her pace is more defeated, but she perks up the second she sees Stan.]
Heeeeey, Stan. Not... much. Just Mabel things. Heh. [She lilts to cover the exhaustion in her voice. Who knew doing nothing for a few weeks would be so tiring?] What about you? Heading out to a see a certain special ~someone~?
[Maybe he's given up...]
no subject
He grins and decides to milk it.]
Oh, sure. I'm takin' someone real special on a lunch date...me!
[And he cackles, like it's the funniest thing one human has ever said to another.]
I'm gonna make myself a sandwich of cartoonish proportions and eat it by myself, alone!
no subject
You underestimate me, Grunkle Stan. I'm young and determined, and you're old and stubborn. One of us is gonna break, and it ain't gonna be Mabel.
no subject
Dream on, kid. Old and stubborn trumps young and determined every time. Besides, you can't con an con artist! Face it, I'm always gonna be ten steps ahead of you and there's nothing you can do about it. You're never gonna catch dirt on me - never in a million years!
[Ah, a lifetime of hard times has prepared him for all of this mockery. Good thing karma isn't real and this definitely isn't going to bite him in the ass.]
no subject
[As he walks by he smacks Stan right in the ass.]
You don't n-need more dirt, ya filthy animal.
[And he keeps on walking.]
no subject
And then finally, she laughs and points accusingly at Stan.] HAH! I KNEW IT! I've got romance-o-vision.
no subject
Weeks of conning, wasted. Down the drain, all because Rick had to smack his ass in front of his great-niece.
Then Mabel's shouting, and that tugs him back to reality real quick.]
Wha-- No! Y-You've got it all wrong! It's not... [He sighs, and drags a hand down his face.] Romance.
no subject
Child is in for a rude awakening.]
Whaaaaat? Sure you're both old and gross and kind of the opposite of what feel-good romcoms are all about, but that doesn't make it any less romantic?
no subject
Look. Mabel. Pumpkin.
[...
...The answer is he isn't. He is never, ever, ever having that conversation.]
Just don't read too much into it, alright? It's nothin' serious.
no subject
[Mabel doesn't really know much about romance or the horrible adult content that she only reads in books that are not supposed to be for her eyes, but she knows that butt touching is generally considered a sign of romance.
Also there's the fact that Stan lies about EVERYTHING, so clearly he's lying about this.]
no subject
[He says this, but his face is getting red again - probably just from having this conversation with Mabel. Somehow though, the alternative (going along with it and letting Mabel think he's fallen madly in love) isn't much better.
She isn't wrong about him though. His answer to being caught in a lie is often to lie more and more until he's said so many things that no one can possibly know what the truth is anymore, so who could ever possibly know how serious it really is?]
no subject
THAT LESSON IS STOP FUCKING LYING.]
Look, Grunkle Stan. [She holds up her hands, very serious now.] I don't really wanna think about old men making out just as much as you don't like talking about it. It's like jalapenos- you really want them, but if you get too much at once, you lose all feeling in your face and then you puke.
But you should really be honest with your feelings for once.
no subject
[And then, as though that's an appropriate end point, he tries to actually turn around and leave. Time to do exactly the opposite of what Mabel said and run away from his feelings!]
no subject
It's clearly a very deeply awkward subject for both of them. It will not stop her way more PG-rated fanart than the "ship" warrants, but it will stop her from examining it too closely, beyond what she views as the obvious problem.
Namely Stan.
She purses her lips, and then runs to catch up with him.] Grunkle Stan, don't you think most things in your life would've been easier if you'd just used your feelings, instead of your... everything else?
[Please don't make her break out an itemized list.
She has one.]
no subject
Nope! Not even once. In fact, half the time bringing feelings into it just over-complicates things. Like that time I got married and then six hours later she was stealin' my car!
[That was not a good day and Marilyn can rot for all he cares. He's over it though, he's fine. Probably.]
Point is, feelings have never gotten me anywhere before and they're not gonna now.
no subject
[Why is that a sentence she just said??] Besides all those episodes of bad matchmaking reality TV has told me that marriage is not always about emotions. Bad example.
no subject
[He pauses though, and looks right at Mabel as he remembers something. That thought seems to fluster him though, and he crosses his arms and looks away. He knows fully well that he's about to lose a battle of wills with a child.]
...Once. Feelings helped exactly once. But that's the exception, not the rule.
no subject
If it happens once, it can happen again. Lightning always strikes twice.
[Especially if you're doing experiments for your vlog that you really shouldn't have been allowed to do ever. Mabel's Guide to Imitating Historical Figures was a hit, and no one can tell her otherwise.]
no subject
[That sounds painful - kind of like talking about his feelings!]