( open ) could make me be true, could make me feel blue

[ofletters]

Who: Sam Winchester and YOU
Where: Various
When: 4/1
Rating: PG/PG-13, maybe, for language
Summary: When your closest friend disappears, when you'll never see them again, it gets hard.
The Story:

fifth floor, 013

[ The door to his tiny room is ajar, because - who cares? After Dan's message, Sam had been absolutely unsure of what to do with himself. Evie, gone. His closest confidante, out of Wonderland for good, after all her - what, seven? - years of being here. He thinks of his upcoming "anniversary" and feels seized with panic, with painful awareness of everyone that he's lost over time.

Dizziness briefly overtakes him. He sits on the edge of the bed.

Sam spends a long time just staring blearily at the wall opposite, where (if you can find it amid the mess), there's a fist-sized hole from not long earlier. ]


the library

[ Sam is completely absorbed. He doesn't look any less exhausted or generally awful, but he's standing near the stacks with a letter in his hands, one that he will stow away should anyway speak to him. In the meantime, though, the younger Winchester spends a good amount of time doing this before he lifts his gaze, stares, unseeing, at the shelves in front of him, and then sits himself down at his usual table within the library.

You're not really supposed to talk in libraries, and he doesn't seem up for much conversation, but maybe you could get a word or two out of him. ]


the bar

[ He shouldn't be working, probably, because he's far from social and is liable to mix up the orders. All the same, Sam is standing behind the bar, expression haggard, and rubbing absentmindedly at a glass like an animatronic in a theme park show. Sometimes, he'll break from this action to make himself a drink, though that does little to nothing to improve his mood or appearance.

Shocker. ]

Comments

fifth floor, 013

[mulletrock]

[Bad news is the only news Dean's ever been used to so when word got out the first thing he did was pour one out for Evelyn and make sure all his shit was in order. After that, he picked up the letters that belonged to him, along with the unsettling information about his past ventures around the place.

Those were the things rolled right off his shoulders.

Wonderland didn't feel the same without her, and he only really had the past two years to work off of. Sam had a heavier burden to shoulder, there was more there. Since Jess Dean's never seen him look at someone the way he looked at Evie. That's enough to get him up the flights of stairs to his room.]

Sam, four corners aren't gonna do shit for you right now and you know it.

[There's no knock but there's no force behind the way he kicks open the door. He's got his flask in hand, still cold from siphoning some of his good shit into it. An old family recipe to take the edge off. Dean tosses it in the direction of his brother.]

[ofletters]

[ He's not really surprised that Dean's come calling, but Sam doesn't seem to react when his brother enters and tosses him a flask.

Nothing's gonna do much for me right now, he thinks dully, but doesn't say. ]

Yeah. [ But he'd rather be here right now, mired in his tiny room and his expansive thoughts. Should've actually closed the door. ] I know.

[mulletrock]

[It's tough to see him so broken down that natural born instincts don't even come into play. He's seen him messed up more than once but usually, Sam goes with vengeance or buries himself in work.]

Look, I know there was a lot between you guys.

[More than he knew, or could even cop to. He'd already seen the note. The shit about Hannigar and what he did the first few times around.]

But I can tell you for sure- she'd think the whole shut-in routine's a load of crap.

[Go ahead and lock your door, Sam, Dean's not above picking it. There's always a set of lock picks in his back pocket for that and the other situations where a good old B&E might be necessary.]

Bar

[morethan084]

[Daisy has no idea that he even knew the girl who had recently left. She had heard the news over the Network, but personally Saisy hadn’t really known her.

It was a day that ends in Y, so of course Daisy was at the bar. Not that she was a lush by any means, but, she did enjoy being around other people at times. Spotting Sam at the bar, Daisy takes a seat on one of the stools before she takes in his appearance. His mind clearly somewhere else right now. Has he even noticed her take a seat?]

You alive in there?

[ofletters]

What? [ Oh. Sam swallows, then nods absent-mindedly. ] ... Yeah. M'here.

[ Physically, anyway. He sets down the glass and then actually looks at her, though his gaze is clearly fatigued. ]

What can I get you?

[morethan084]

[Yeah. He totally looks like he's here in the present.]

Dunno. What do you recommend?

[Honestly she probably would've just asked for a beer, but, she's trying to make conversation.]

bar

[outstandingbalance]

[Natasha is not always the best person in the world at concern. Getting close to people. There's an element of vulnerability to that she tends to avoid, when she can, and her instinct is often to do the same for others.

It's a way of respecting their privacy when Wonderland doesn't make privacy the easiest thing to maintain.

But she has a good read on people most of the time, and she's not heartless either. Which is why she'll intercept him at the bar and take the perfectly clean glass from him and putting it away decisively.]

You look like you should be on the other side of the bar today.

[ofletters]

[ Sam looks briefly surprised that the glass has left his hand... until the present catches up with him and he register's Natasha's presence, and words. ]

M'fine. [ He's said that a lot today.

There are no more glasses to 'clean,' so he just stands there, staring off ahead into the empty bar. ]

You can probably take off. It's clearly not jam-packed in here.

[outstandingbalance]

Suppose it's not. Still...

[She won't argue with him about his own mental state, even if it's clear she's not convinced.

She also doesn't appear to be leaving.]

In that case, you can pour me one. I'm already here. Might as well do something while I'm here.

library

[thesamurai]

[ Michonne has a letter, too. And a gift, which is tucked one per hip under her shirt. It isn't that she doesn't believe Evelyn is gone, it's more like her feet take her there for some kind of explanation even with the knowledge the librarian isn't there. But when she sees Sam, same kind of paper in his hand as in hers, she knows.

Stopping in front of him, she holds the paper up, and she doesn't even know what to say, until: ]

What the fuck? How did she leave messages for us if all our things leave when we're gone gone?

[ It's a shred of doubt that this is real, a scrap of hope or something else, whatever you want to call it. In theory, all of this should have disappeared, too. ]

[ofletters]

Maybe they counted as our things. After.

[ She'd intended for them to then belong to their recipients, so... he assumes that's the reason. At the moment, Sam is less interested in Wonderland's mysteries than ever. ]

You got one too, huh? [ He asks, despite knowing the answer already. ]

library

[powerofmabel]

[Mabel wasn't as close to Evie as Dipper was, but she still thought she was awesome, and having been here as long as she has, losing people who have been here forever kinda stings. The library's never really been her haunt before, and she doubts that's going to change, but she can't help but wander it a bit, wondering how things are going to change now.

And maybe see if Rick's got any of his tech put in yet. She kinda wants to see what that crazy old coot is gonna do.

It's this wandering that leads her, accidentally, to Sam, and she stops short of running into him as she turns a corner.]

Hey... [She rubs her shoulder.] Kinda... Heh... Kinda quiet in here, huh?

[ofletters]

[ Mabel's voice almost doesn't draw Sam from his reverie... but, it does, and he blinks, glancing her way. ]

Uh - Yeah. [ He glances around, briefly, and sighs. ] Feels empty.

[ It always will, now, without Evie. ]

bar

[geiger]

[ She'd gone straight to Dan, but once she's reassured herself that he's not going to do anything stupid, Nora sets off to find Sam. She grabs a seat at the bar, reaching across to pour both of them a glass of whiskey. ]

I'm sorry, man. I know you were close to her.

[ofletters]

She was here when I showed up. Five years ago. [ He attempts a smile, but it's too broken to be called that. ] I always figured she'd be here when I left.

[ Instead, she'd vanished, surprising everyone. Why her? And why now? ]

... Did you know her?

library }

[deathlessness]

[Egyptian mythology has never been her strong suit. Probably goes part and parcel with being a Viking and never spending as much time in Africa as Kol has, but he prefers to learn what she's dealing with. So when Evie leaves her an ancient Egyptian magical weapon, she heads down to the library to do her homework.

And also to check on Sam.

Her options were bar or library, and library happened to be a lucky guess. She knows she's likely a poor consolation prize compared to what he's lost, but Sam is her friend,and she wants to make sure he's okay. Or at last he will be.

She spots him at his table, before making her way closer.]

I heard about Evelyn. I'm sorry.

[ofletters]

It's a loss for everyone. [ He replies mechanically, as if to say "I haven't warranted sympathy. ] Place won't be the same, now.

[ Not without its librarian. Not without his closest friend in the place.

Sam swallows. ]

Everyone loses people, here. You're either the one who goes, or the one left behind.

[ It's happen to him a dozen times over. ]

bar;

[walkingheroin]

[He's here early enough that he hasn't opened his club yet. Perhaps he's thinking of not opening at all today, but he'll make that decision when the time comes. People could probably use the distraction, including himself.

That's likely why he's here, after finding a certain letter addressed to him.]

I'm a bit shocked you're serving today, Samuel.

[The normal lilting tone to his voice is missing today.]

[ofletters]

I'm what? [ He would understand the statement if he'd been listening. Sam blinks, then realizes, belatedly, what Lucifer had said.

There's a slow exhale. ]

It takes up time. [ It's something to do that isn't sitting around in his room, punching more holes in the walls. He wets his lips, setting down the already-clean glass. ]

You don't come here much. [ As if to ask: "What's the occasion?" But, he knows. ]

library;

[entreats]

[ Ange doesn't really know why the guy is looking like that, but she recognizes his gaze anyway. You don't stare without seeing a thing like that without something seriously being wrong. And.. well, Ange doesn't like to meddle with other people's business. She was just supposed to grab a few books here and leave, but now she's spotted him and she remembers how nice he was to her - even relatively when she first showed up here, but also when she was just a little kid.

And that makes her feel too guilty to just leave him alone like that.

So she moves over until she's standing next to the table he's sitting at, trying to hide her social awkwardness behind her usual pokerface but only succeeding halfway. ]

.. Hey.

[ofletters]

[ It takes Sam slightly longer than usual to register when people are talking to him today (and, to be fair, more people are talking to him than usual). As such, he turns slowly to look at Ange, and then to nod in acknowledgement. ]

Hey. [ There's a pause before he gestures to the table. ] ... You're welcome to sit, if you want.

[ Not that he's great company at the moment, but... ]

library

[krmvgivv]

Hey!

[It might usually be Sam's table, but today, it's turned into Dipper's fort. He's underneath it, surrounded by stacks of books. He's got the journal Evelyn left him open in his lap and he's taking notes. And... not prepared for someone to sit down and kick him.

....okay, to be fair, Sam probably wasn't expecting someone to have set up shop under the table, but Dipper still gives him an annoyed look as he crawls out.]

I was researching.

[ofletters]

[ No, he wasn't expecting for someone to be under the table, but he does chuckle without mirth as Dipper makes himself known. ]

Sorry. I'll grab another table. [ Though he does slow down as he catches sight of all the books, brows twitching at confusion. ] ... Any reason you're doing it down there, though?

library

[normandysbest]

[She has a letter of her own. Hastily retrieved while she was trying to talk to Dan earlier, but now, she’s back looking for clues. Trying to puzzle it out. This feels like it could be so much more than her disappearing, especially with the conversation she had with Frank slotting back into place. Why her? Why an extra life for Evelyn? Did she make a deal? Did this place just like her, a respect for it’s caretaker it showed no one else?

She has so many questions. She doesn’t even expect to see Sam there until she ends up in a chair next to him, and looks up.]

… Hey.

[Shepard still has the letter in her hand, which she lays face-down on the table.]

How’re you, uh… doing?

[ofletters]

Hey.

[ A lot of people have questions today - questions about Evie in particular - but Sam... doesn't. Not yet. Today is a day for spacing out, for trying not to think too much, for keeping his head above water.

He swallows, glancing to Shepard. ]

Fine. [ Yup, he's clearly fine. ] ... You?