It's Time to Face the Facts ⭕️Open

[licksthirium]

Who: Connor & You!
Where: Outside the mansion
When: 10/30; After the AU event
Style: Third for the first two, but first for the last one. I'll match otherwise.
Summary: Connor has a lot to think about after everything has settled down.
The Story:


Outside (Fountain);

The last Event that happened probably messed with a lot of people, but the aftermath was never fun. Connor was no exception, having just arrived here before the series of events unfolded. 'What would have happened if I had never deviated from my path' If that was something that Connor ever thought about, he really regretted it now. On the flip side, it also gave him a little bit of insight as well.

Looking back at everything that happened, now he couldn't help but think of how glad he was that he did join Markus's side. Lying to himself for so long that he was not a Deviant didn't do him any favors. First sign was while chasing the Tracis. All this time, Hank and Kamski probably already knew that he wasn't the machine he was built to be anymore, but a Deviant all along. Connor wanted to believe that he hadn't strayed away from his path.

So this was who he was meant to be all along. It was inevitable that went down this path. That talk with Amanda showed him that much. He didn't need an Event to make that clear, but it did put it in perspective of what he had to lose if he hadn't.

He was just a machine... or so he thought. He still had no idea about how he was supposed to go on with his life. It seemed like Markus, Kara, and those in Jericho had it figured out at that point. They knew what they wanted and why it was so important to them. Did he deserve to have gotten off scotch free for everything that he's done? Markus should have just shot him in that church, right there, right then... but he didn't.

Why was that? Why did Markus believe in him when if the roles were reversed, Connor probably wouldn't have done the same? He didn't understand these emotions he felt. They were all so new and strange. Sure he's felt a little bit of genuine happiness, panic, and anger.. but right now the emotions that were really present and obvious were guilt and shame. Of all of the emotions to feel, they'd followed him here to Wonderland and now that he's seen the aftermath, they just got even stronger.

He shouldn't be alive. It was all his fault that Jericho and those in it were attacked and killed. All of those Deviants who just wanted to be free and died because of their dreams were because he thought he was doing the right thing. He thought that it was something he had to do, but in the end he was the most foolish of them all.

CyberLife used him. Amanda used him. Sure he was a machine built with a purpose, but they never intended on letting Connor live after he fulfilled his purpose. He was just a means to an end and it didn't matter if he died after everything was said and done. Why couldn't he see that sooner? Why couldn't he realize with all of his functions and for how well he was able to access an investigation couldn't he tell that he never once mattered.

He did this. He did this to those who wanted to be free and he was so ignorant that entire time. Did he deserve to be free if that was the case? If Markus were here and knew that he was thinking these things, he'd probably tell him to knock it off.

Anyone is free to run into him brooding outside. Aside from how silent his is outwardly and that conflicted look, he'll also be flipping his quarter from hand to hand idly while he's deep in thought.

Outside (Roaming);

Brooding aside, while some of the information he gathered wasn't exactly trustworthy, there was one thing that did peek his interest. He was looking for Hank and Sumo when he arrived and honestly? Connor missed them already. He missed playing with Sumo or just relaxing on the couch with him. So in order to avoid keep his mind off of things, he decided to adopt a dog.

Too bad Connor has only ever really played with Sumo and has no idea how to actually raise a dog, much less a puppy. As small as the German Shepherd was and he clearly needed to be trained, the pup seemed pretty friendly towards Connor as he gave him attention.

Anyone is free to see them playing or walking around or just help him out a little. If someone comes up to them, "I guess I should think of a name, but maybe I shouldn't just call you Sumo..?"

Message to Monika;

[He was obviously not himself during the event -- or at least the way he remembered himself to be -- but there was one person in particular that he felt bad about.

Monika.

She was just trying to check in on him, but he treated her poorly. Sure she probably just shrugged it off, but it didn't change the fact that he felt bad about the whole ordeal. So it's not a long message, but Monika might notice something pinging for her presence.]

So uh... about the last few days.

... I'm sorry.

Comments

[255000255000255]

[ The message comes as a surprise to her. She hadn't exactly been little miss sunshine herself for the event, but in terms of how bad things could've been? It was practically a cakewalk, that one. No one ended up dead, after all!

But then she realizes...this wasn't her first event. Connor wasn't so lucky. And considering what she could sense were the very fragile beginnings of freedom and humanity, it probably rocked his foundation quite a bit.

She's smiling sympathetically when she appears onscreen, though it's obvious she's trying to fight quiet giggles. The whole situation's kind of cute to her. ]

You don't have to apologize, you know. I've dealt with way worse!

[licksthirium]

Regardless, the way I acted was unnecessary.

I guess I did catch a virus. [He's trying okay?]

[255000255000255]

The way you reacted was out of your control. [ She wags a finger as she corrects him. The distinction is important! ] Besides, if you start getting into the habit of apologizing for every little thing that happens during events, you'll never have time to do anything!

[ And sometimes it's a waste of breath, so. ]

Honestly, I'm jealous. For being someone's first event, seems like you got off kinda easy.

[licksthirium]

I guess you'd know better about these events than I would.

Are they generally worse? [Meaning he'd be able to get a feel for what to expect.]

[255000255000255]

[ There's a weak laugh. ] Yeah, I...I've been here almost a year and some of them have been real doozies.

I mean, there's the fun stuff like big parties or dinosaurs roaming around. Then there's killer-rat infestations and getting turned into birds or getting stuck in prison. And... [ She glances away. ] Sometimes dying.

[ After a hesitation, she looks back. ] Basically, um. This was tame. For most people, anyway.

[licksthirium]

Dying.... I did hear briefly about that...

[When he was still a machine. Although if Kokichi was actually telling him the truth or just trolling was beyond him at that moment.]

How does dying work here, since it seems that it's not permanent here.

[255000255000255]

It's about as bad as you'd imagine dying to be? [ Though...would he know about that? Hmm. Maybe she should reframe it a bit. ] Like...getting shut down. Just not permanently.

[ She'd had enough experience with that to last a lifetime. ]

You'll eventually come back. It takes longer each time, though, based on how many times you've died. One day for one death, two for two...so on and so forth. Just don't hit five and you'll be totally fine!

[licksthirium]

[He can imagine that dying sucks, but the next information is more along the lines of what he was looking for for information.]

What happens when you hit five times? [Does he really want to know?]

[255000255000255]

...Good question.

[ It's not something she's tried to think on a lot, and the undercurrent of uncertainty in that answer shows it. Even with the Queen of Hearts gone, she didn't think a fifth death would be any better now. ]

I wouldn't worry too much about it. I can't see you getting into that much trouble.

[ It's a compliment! Kind of. ]

[licksthirium]

Well, it's good to know the information, but I don't plan on dying. [Hopefully.]

[255000255000255]

Ehehe, good luck? Sometimes you kind of end up walking right into it...

[ It's exactly what a newcomer needs to hear, right? Totally!

Yeah, probably not. ]

We should probably stop talking about this, actually. I wouldn't want you getting depressed or something! [ Pause. ] Can you get depressed?

[ Had he learned that yet? Could he learn it? It was fascinating, in a vaguely uncomfortable way. Though she figured others would probably lump the two of them into the same category, she knew she was nowhere near Connor's level of needing to learn what humanity was. Like, pshaw, she was practically human already! ]

[licksthirium]

I don't really depressed thinking about it, but I have no idea. It might be a possible though, all things considered.

[255000255000255]

[ Monika laughs, but it's the quiet, uncomfortable type--the kind that fades quickly and ends with a grimace. ] Well, I'm sure you'll get plenty of practice with all sorts of bad emotions here. Not that I'm encouraging you to get into bad situations, but. Y'know. You'll learn.

[ She bites her lip, thoughtful. ]

What's happiness to you? Have you thought about that?

[ Is that something an android truly knows? ]

[licksthirium]

Happiness.... I'm not sure.

[Happiness was different for everyone, but he was pretty new to it. What made him happy...?]

Well... I don't really know. I know I like to help Hank out on cases. I also like to hang out with Sumo.

[hypoxic]

[While Connor is out with his dog, the animal isn't the focal point. Doctor Fitz finds his attention arrested by the man himself. He has an odd stiffness in his gait, and the light at his temple is jarring. It warrants further investigation.]

There's no need to give the dog a matter of choice. It will respond to whatever you decide. Anything otherwise would be backward.

[licksthirium]

That may be true, but everybody deserves a good name. [Glancing up from the dog now.] I'm just not sure what to call him.

[hypoxic]

That might be a result of your design. [He pauses then, lets it hang. Monika rebels when he points out the holes in her coding. Is his intelligence also artificial? If he's legitimate, the texturing is stunning.] Is creativity one of your features?

[licksthirium]

[So this man can identify him as an Android. Interesting. Not that Connor was trying to hide the fact and it was fairly obvious by his clothing and his LED on the side of his forehead.]

Hmm... Well, I'm designed to assist the DPD with their investigations, so I doubt that creativity is one of my features, but adapting to situations to help with blending in with humans is one, so who knows?

[hypoxic]

You're aware of yourself. [ it isn't the same as being self-aware. It just means that he doesn't have to dance around the larger issue of identity. ]

That's most likely the sticking point. You're programmed to defer to human thought. It makes you incapable of choosing a name on your own. How did you come to be in possession of an animal in the first place?

[licksthirium]

I'm aware that I am an android, yes. [His world made that pretty damn clear that there was no confusion about that.]

That may be true. I've noticed I'm pretty lousy at thinking of something creative, that's for sure. [Glancing to the dog] From the closet. My partner back home had a dog named Sumo. I guess I just missed him.

[hypoxic]

You were designed for companionship, then. It's only natural that you would crave it when relocated.

[He bends down and offers his hand for the creature to sniff.]

Did you summon this dog to resemble the one you knew previously?

Omg im so sorry for the edits

[licksthirium]

[Was he? He had no idea. Honestly, who he really was and what he was designed for was sort of up in the air at the moment.]

Maybe. [Glancing to the dog.] No. I guess I didn't think about it. Sumo is a saint Bernard, so I probably didn't take that into account.

In the end, it doesn't really matter if he's the same breed as Sumo or not.