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entrancelogs2018-10-30 02:08 am
licksthirium) wrote in entrancelogs2018-10-30 02:08 am
Entry tags:
It's Time to Face the Facts ⭕️Open
Who: Connor & You!
Where: Outside the mansion
When: 10/30; After the AU event
Style: Third for the first two, but first for the last one. I'll match otherwise.
Summary: Connor has a lot to think about after everything has settled down.
The Story:
Outside (Fountain);
The last Event that happened probably messed with a lot of people, but the aftermath was never fun. Connor was no exception, having just arrived here before the series of events unfolded. 'What would have happened if I had never deviated from my path' If that was something that Connor ever thought about, he really regretted it now. On the flip side, it also gave him a little bit of insight as well.
Looking back at everything that happened, now he couldn't help but think of how glad he was that he did join Markus's side. Lying to himself for so long that he was not a Deviant didn't do him any favors. First sign was while chasing the Tracis. All this time, Hank and Kamski probably already knew that he wasn't the machine he was built to be anymore, but a Deviant all along. Connor wanted to believe that he hadn't strayed away from his path.
So this was who he was meant to be all along. It was inevitable that went down this path. That talk with Amanda showed him that much. He didn't need an Event to make that clear, but it did put it in perspective of what he had to lose if he hadn't.
He was just a machine... or so he thought. He still had no idea about how he was supposed to go on with his life. It seemed like Markus, Kara, and those in Jericho had it figured out at that point. They knew what they wanted and why it was so important to them. Did he deserve to have gotten off scotch free for everything that he's done? Markus should have just shot him in that church, right there, right then... but he didn't.
Why was that? Why did Markus believe in him when if the roles were reversed, Connor probably wouldn't have done the same? He didn't understand these emotions he felt. They were all so new and strange. Sure he's felt a little bit of genuine happiness, panic, and anger.. but right now the emotions that were really present and obvious were guilt and shame. Of all of the emotions to feel, they'd followed him here to Wonderland and now that he's seen the aftermath, they just got even stronger.
He shouldn't be alive. It was all his fault that Jericho and those in it were attacked and killed. All of those Deviants who just wanted to be free and died because of their dreams were because he thought he was doing the right thing. He thought that it was something he had to do, but in the end he was the most foolish of them all.
CyberLife used him. Amanda used him. Sure he was a machine built with a purpose, but they never intended on letting Connor live after he fulfilled his purpose. He was just a means to an end and it didn't matter if he died after everything was said and done. Why couldn't he see that sooner? Why couldn't he realize with all of his functions and for how well he was able to access an investigation couldn't he tell that he never once mattered.
He did this. He did this to those who wanted to be free and he was so ignorant that entire time. Did he deserve to be free if that was the case? If Markus were here and knew that he was thinking these things, he'd probably tell him to knock it off.
Anyone is free to run into him brooding outside. Aside from how silent his is outwardly and that conflicted look, he'll also be flipping his quarter from hand to hand idly while he's deep in thought.
Outside (Roaming);
Brooding aside, while some of the information he gathered wasn't exactly trustworthy, there was one thing that did peek his interest. He was looking for Hank and Sumo when he arrived and honestly? Connor missed them already. He missed playing with Sumo or just relaxing on the couch with him. So in order toavoid keep his mind off of things, he decided to adopt a dog.
Too bad Connor has only ever really played with Sumo and has no idea how to actually raise a dog, much less a puppy. As small as the German Shepherd was and he clearly needed to be trained, the pup seemed pretty friendly towards Connor as he gave him attention.
Anyone is free to see them playing or walking around or just help him out a little. If someone comes up to them, "I guess I should think of a name, but maybe I shouldn't just call you Sumo..?"
Message to Monika;
[He was obviously not himself during the event -- or at least the way he remembered himself to be -- but there was one person in particular that he felt bad about.
Monika.
She was just trying to check in on him, but he treated her poorly. Sure she probably just shrugged it off, but it didn't change the fact that he felt bad about the whole ordeal. So it's not a long message, but Monika might notice something pinging for her presence.]
So uh... about the last few days.
... I'm sorry.
Where: Outside the mansion
When: 10/30; After the AU event
Style: Third for the first two, but first for the last one. I'll match otherwise.
Summary: Connor has a lot to think about after everything has settled down.
The Story:
Outside (Fountain);
The last Event that happened probably messed with a lot of people, but the aftermath was never fun. Connor was no exception, having just arrived here before the series of events unfolded. 'What would have happened if I had never deviated from my path' If that was something that Connor ever thought about, he really regretted it now. On the flip side, it also gave him a little bit of insight as well.
Looking back at everything that happened, now he couldn't help but think of how glad he was that he did join Markus's side. Lying to himself for so long that he was not a Deviant didn't do him any favors. First sign was while chasing the Tracis. All this time, Hank and Kamski probably already knew that he wasn't the machine he was built to be anymore, but a Deviant all along. Connor wanted to believe that he hadn't strayed away from his path.
So this was who he was meant to be all along. It was inevitable that went down this path. That talk with Amanda showed him that much. He didn't need an Event to make that clear, but it did put it in perspective of what he had to lose if he hadn't.
He was just a machine... or so he thought. He still had no idea about how he was supposed to go on with his life. It seemed like Markus, Kara, and those in Jericho had it figured out at that point. They knew what they wanted and why it was so important to them. Did he deserve to have gotten off scotch free for everything that he's done? Markus should have just shot him in that church, right there, right then... but he didn't.
Why was that? Why did Markus believe in him when if the roles were reversed, Connor probably wouldn't have done the same? He didn't understand these emotions he felt. They were all so new and strange. Sure he's felt a little bit of genuine happiness, panic, and anger.. but right now the emotions that were really present and obvious were guilt and shame. Of all of the emotions to feel, they'd followed him here to Wonderland and now that he's seen the aftermath, they just got even stronger.
He shouldn't be alive. It was all his fault that Jericho and those in it were attacked and killed. All of those Deviants who just wanted to be free and died because of their dreams were because he thought he was doing the right thing. He thought that it was something he had to do, but in the end he was the most foolish of them all.
CyberLife used him. Amanda used him. Sure he was a machine built with a purpose, but they never intended on letting Connor live after he fulfilled his purpose. He was just a means to an end and it didn't matter if he died after everything was said and done. Why couldn't he see that sooner? Why couldn't he realize with all of his functions and for how well he was able to access an investigation couldn't he tell that he never once mattered.
He did this. He did this to those who wanted to be free and he was so ignorant that entire time. Did he deserve to be free if that was the case? If Markus were here and knew that he was thinking these things, he'd probably tell him to knock it off.
Anyone is free to run into him brooding outside. Aside from how silent his is outwardly and that conflicted look, he'll also be flipping his quarter from hand to hand idly while he's deep in thought.
Outside (Roaming);
Brooding aside, while some of the information he gathered wasn't exactly trustworthy, there was one thing that did peek his interest. He was looking for Hank and Sumo when he arrived and honestly? Connor missed them already. He missed playing with Sumo or just relaxing on the couch with him. So in order to
Too bad Connor has only ever really played with Sumo and has no idea how to actually raise a dog, much less a puppy. As small as the German Shepherd was and he clearly needed to be trained, the pup seemed pretty friendly towards Connor as he gave him attention.
Anyone is free to see them playing or walking around or just help him out a little. If someone comes up to them, "I guess I should think of a name, but maybe I shouldn't just call you Sumo..?"
Message to Monika;
[He was obviously not himself during the event -- or at least the way he remembered himself to be -- but there was one person in particular that he felt bad about.
Monika.
She was just trying to check in on him, but he treated her poorly. Sure she probably just shrugged it off, but it didn't change the fact that he felt bad about the whole ordeal. So it's not a long message, but Monika might notice something pinging for her presence.]
So uh... about the last few days.
... I'm sorry.
no subject
[Happiness was different for everyone, but he was pretty new to it. What made him happy...?]
Well... I don't really know. I know I like to help Hank out on cases. I also like to hang out with Sumo.