+ Guilt Runs Deep

[vitaelamorte]

Who: Everyone!
Where: The Mansion
When: Feb 23-25
Rating: Please warn in top level subject lines for potential triggers/NSFW
Summary: Various residents are trapped in their own guilt, watching their guiltiest memory play on a loop.
The Story:

Welcome to the gathering post for the event. Please see the plotting post for more information + the bulletin board link. Have fun!

Comments

[persevere]

[She looks, for lack of a better word, exhausted.

She pushes the door open, silently relieved that he's already here and not caught up in whatever other hideousness is still going on behind closed doors. He's even already poured a drink for her.

She steps over to take it from him.]

Have I ever told you that you're a lifesaver?

[Just don't judge her when she reaches into the drink cart to grab a bottle, put it to her lips to drink straight out of it, before replacing it and heading over with her glass to rather ungracefully have a seat with a heavy sigh.]

[poppycock]

( he would never judge.

in point of fact, he sees the absolute brilliance of her decision and admires her foresight.

with a small smile, he takes the bottle with him to place it on the table is easy reach before sitting beside her. he sinks into the corner of the couch, arm resting over the back, ankle crossed over his knee. ) Rarely ( he replies glibly, ) but I appreciate the sentiment. ( he takes a sip of his drink — bone tired though he is, he's also silently relieved to be in her presence. it's a better comfort than the liquor. after a moment, he asks, ) Where were you today?

[persevere]

I'll need to remember to mention it more often, then.

[She takes another long drink from her glass before she fully leans back into the couch as comfortably as she can, letting out a heavy breath as she does. Her head rolls to the side so that she can look at him.]

Other than trapezing through actual hellscapes? [She sighs.] I saw Chloe today.

[poppycock]

( he can just reach the locks of her curls as her head lolls back on the couch. much without thought, his fingers twitch and reach to touch them. ) What a coincidence, ( he responds, in quiet understanding. if caroline had seen what he had seen, he can certainly understand her exhaustion.

eschewing the weight of guilt is something he knows caroline can empathize with. he can imagine chloe's suffering is weighing on her. it's also something he's quite sure they are of like-mind about: learning to let such things go.

he won't assume, however; but will merely prompt. ) I saw Chloe today too.

[persevere]

[She looks over at him, not entirely surprised, but almost relieved that she doesn't have to describe what she saw there. She's not sure she would be able to get through it.

It's unfair, that Chloe has to carry that kind of guilt over something like that. Then again, there was probably a time where she would have too.]

If there's anyone that doesn't deserve Hell, it's her.

[poppycock]

( he sobers at her response. whatever melody was in his voice is absent when he speaks again. she's right, of course. he's seen plenty of hells during this event, and each of them have been difficult to witness. to see someone like chloe's, however. klaus glances away, licks his lips. ) I agree. Worse still when it's a hell of one's own devising.

[persevere]

I think we've all been there at least once. Just not quite so literally.

[She pulls up her legs, hugging her knees and sighing.]

It just sucks when you want to help someone so bad, but they have to be the ones to figure it out themselves.

[poppycock]

( they have, certainly. klaus might deny until his last breath any feeling of guilt or regret for what he's done, but that doesn't change the truth: there was once a time when he was wracked by it. haunted, by his own monstrosity. mournful of the lives he stole and left behind.

his exhale is soft; it mirrors her sigh. the back of his knuckles rub absentmindedly against couch cushion. ) Particularly when you've been through it yourself. ( that, he knows, they both have. she certainly just did, not so long ago.

with another breath, he moves the hair from her neck with the sweep of his hand; his fingers brush over her pulse. ) Chloe will be all right. ( and: ) I can't imagine you didn't help her.

[persevere]

[She's not sure she believes that, that she was able to help Chloe. She could say all the right things, but if she didn't believe her, if she didn't believe in herself, it wouldn't matter.

Caroline knew how that went, too.]

She'll either figure it out or it'll eat her alive inside.

[She looks over at him then, her expression soft.]

If that happens, then we'll have to be there for her then, too.

[poppycock]

( he knows. it was the same reason he knew he couldn't help chloe today, not if she didn't want to help herself. easier said than done, forgiving oneself of monstrosity. klaus is unsure at moments if he has, at least through the eyes of those who matter. but he's accepted it of himself.

it very well could eat her alive, if she lets it. it ate him until there was nothing left. but that's not the reason his expression wavers and softens; it's because of caroline's. it's because it worries her, that it reminds her of her own experience, that it scores him all the more.

he slides over until he can gather her close under his arm. ) Of course we will, ( he vows with her, holding her close and firmly with an urgency he recognizes.

he wasn't able either to help her then. not even to comfort her. but he can now. )

[persevere]

[It's definitely more about acceptance than forgiveness. She has to remember the things she's done, understand why they were so terrible, so that she can avoid it in the future.

So she can continue to believe she's a good person, even if she isn't perfect.

She leans her cheek into his chest, breathing him in. His scent calms her, soothes her tired, emotionally wracked mind.]

Thank you.

[As if she knows what he's thinking; she needs comfort like this, more often than she'd like to admit, and he always gives it so freely without making her feel weak.]