beautifullies: (ye are вlood oғ мy вlood)

[personal profile] beautifullies 2019-02-27 05:31 pm (UTC)(link)
[ It's difficult not to believe it. That she's been punished for her crimes. ]

You have no idea how selfish I was.

[ Her voice breaks; she's painted a nice picture of herself in Wonderland. She's being irrational right now, but the powers that be have done an incredible (horrible) job of honing in on the one pieces of guilt she thinks about ever now and then. It's magnified now, bigger than it has been in twenty-two years. ]
bibliocorn: (We should have been sent to stop a war)

[personal profile] bibliocorn 2019-02-27 10:34 pm (UTC)(link)
[He hates seeing her like this. He hates seeing Wonderland break her down so low. Make her an echo of the Claire that he knows and cares a great deal for. He knows that she wouldn't put up with him doing this to himself, so he should offer her the same kindness. ]

Again, I'd like to heartily disagree. This is Wonderland. It's ... from what I can tell, it's pulling at everyone's most guilty memories. It's forcing you to feel like this. But this-

[He glances the way the nurse had gone. Had taken the baby.]

...This doesn't seem like something that was in your control, Claire.
beautifullies: (wнaтever yoυr ѕιnѕ мay вe)

[personal profile] beautifullies 2019-03-02 04:04 pm (UTC)(link)
[ She very much hates, and will hate it even more when the event is over, him seeing her like this. She hates that Jamie will see her like this, prays in the lucid moments when the loop is about to reset that Brianna won't. ]

You don't believe in being punished for the sins you've committed?

[ Her voice is just broken and tired. ]
bibliocorn: (I'm sorry I fail at everything)

[personal profile] bibliocorn 2019-03-02 06:52 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't believe in never letting yourself move on from them.

[A simple answer, but he expands on it. This, at least, he has some experience in.]

Look I know there are always things you'll carry around with you. Things you'll always regret. But the trick is being able to move forward without those things weighing you down to the point where you can't move forward any more. Then you're just ...just stuck there, reminding yourself what a terrible person you are and never really healing from it. You can't become a better person if you don't learn to move forward from the place you're in.
beautifullies: (нere ι aм. and yoυ're нere тoo.)

[personal profile] beautifullies 2019-03-06 04:30 pm (UTC)(link)
I thought that I had.

[ Truly; in her day to day life she thinks about Faith, but never with the overwhelming guilt she feels now. This is suffocating but one thing is clear. ]

I can hold her again, here. Now. Whatever is happening now, I can have her.

[ Even if it's gut-wrenching to be handed such a still and cold bundle. ]
bibliocorn: (Oh right blizzard)

[personal profile] bibliocorn 2019-03-06 08:04 pm (UTC)(link)
But sometimes these things can just sneak up on you, huh?

[Wonderland doesn't help with that. It's got a talent for finding the most painful parts of your life and pouring salt on the wound. He listens, quiet for a moment.]

Hmm. I suppose you can thank Wonderland for that much. It might be trying to prey on your guilt, but it's given you a gift, as well. Bet it didn't reckon on that.
beautifullies: (ι aм noт leavιng yoυ alone нere.)

[personal profile] beautifullies 2019-03-11 03:31 pm (UTC)(link)
She's one of the most perfect things I've ever done.

[ Save for the not breathing part. ]

It was so long ago now, but it feels as if it's happening all over again. Brand new.
bibliocorn: (Concern)

[personal profile] bibliocorn 2019-03-13 09:33 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, that much I can see.

[Because not even he's insensitive enough to correct a grieving mother, nope.]

I'm sorry that it's making you suffer, but I'm glad that at least you've been able to see her again.
beautifullies: (coммon groυnd.)

[personal profile] beautifullies 2019-03-15 04:40 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't want her to go away again.

[ But she will, because events end, and because Louise comes in the loop and no matter how badly Claire doesn't want to let go, she does. The hysterics don't happen this time; instead her arms wrap around herself, trying to feel something other than chilled and feverish at the same time. ]

My husband was in prison while I was here. He doesn't know I nearly died.

[ Yet, anyway. ]
bibliocorn: (The scripture says...)

[personal profile] bibliocorn 2019-03-15 11:30 pm (UTC)(link)
I can understand that. I wish you didn't have to lose her again.

[Because as nice as it is for her to see her once more, this will inevitably end, and he hates to think it would leave Claire more wounded because of it. He gives her a little, awkward hug with his foreleg. ]

He doesn't? [WELP. Wonderland's probably gonna ruin that one.] Uh...has he found this room yet?
beautifullies: (ι aм noт leavιng yoυ alone нere.)

[personal profile] beautifullies 2019-03-19 04:19 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Claire shakes her head, swallowing heavily. ]

What if he can't? He wasn't here before, and I needed him. I thought I was going to die and he wasn't here.

[ Maybe Wonderland will somehow keep him from her again. Or Sunburst is right and that's a longshot. ]
bibliocorn: (I don't think it works that way)

[personal profile] bibliocorn 2019-03-19 09:54 pm (UTC)(link)
[That's... a good point. He wouldn't put it past Wonderland to find some way to prevent Jamie from coming here. For being with her. He ponders this.]

Well. I could go look for him? And if I find him, I can show him here? Try and see if we can flummox Wonderland, if it's trying to keep him away.

[Because ruining Wonderland's day is always a worthwhile activity in his mind- moreso if it's going to help a friend.]
beautifullies: (a ғrιend oғ jacĸ randall'ѕ)

[personal profile] beautifullies 2019-03-25 05:35 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Through all of the haze, Claire's trying to decide what the best option would be. ]

He doesn't know, Sunburst. About Faith, yes, but the rest...I.

[ That she was sick and dying, she means. ]

I never told him...how bad.

[ There'd be no hiding it from him, and she doesn't know what's best. ]
bibliocorn: (Concern ramping up a little)

[personal profile] bibliocorn 2019-03-26 06:32 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh.

[Well, that's...pretty dang awful. He's quiet for a moment, mulling this over. ]

I- I mean. Would you rather him not know? Because this ...this is the kind of thing you can't really take back.
beautifullies: (daddy ĸnew.)

[personal profile] beautifullies 2019-03-27 04:29 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Does she want him to know?

We can have secrets, but not lies.

Swallowing heavily, Claire looks at Sunburst with watery eyes. ]


It's time he knew. It's been over twenty years. I need Jamie here with me, Sunburst.
bibliocorn: (Flurry precious boo)

[personal profile] bibliocorn 2019-03-28 09:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Alight.

[He says it quietly, reassuringly. He gives her a gentle nudge with his head, offering a small smile.]

I'll see if I can find him for you, okay? Send him this way.
beautifullies: (jaмιe ι waѕ ѕo angry aт yoυ.)

[personal profile] beautifullies 2019-04-01 09:13 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Claire looks at Sunburst and nods, swallowing thickly. ]

Thank you.

[ Her hand moves over the top of his head for a moment, until the gesture seems to take the last of the strength she had, from a fever that isn't real. ]

You're a good--a good friend.
bibliocorn: (But I'm trying to learn)

[personal profile] bibliocorn 2019-04-01 10:22 pm (UTC)(link)
Well...I try to be, anyway.

[THAT is a pretty debated thing for him, back home. But he tries to be better here. It's nice to know he's doing something good. He hops off the bed, trotting off towards the door. ]

Sit tight, I'll see if I can find him.

[And off he goes.]