+ Guilt Runs Deep

[vitaelamorte]

Who: Everyone!
Where: The Mansion
When: Feb 23-25
Rating: Please warn in top level subject lines for potential triggers/NSFW
Summary: Various residents are trapped in their own guilt, watching their guiltiest memory play on a loop.
The Story:

Welcome to the gathering post for the event. Please see the plotting post for more information + the bulletin board link. Have fun!

Comments

[teamfun]

He nods, acknowledging that he did, indeed, hear her. Of course, he didn't have to apologise to her. She cared about him on his own merits- something he's still getting used to. His group back home is a family, to be sure, but he knows he's the black sheep. If anyone in the group was considered dead weight, it would be him. Absolutely. It's easy to forget that's not the case here.

"I...guess I just got used to it," he frowns. "I mean- I don't think about it every day, but I'm still careful, y'know? I never want to be that way again, so I just...try to make sure I'm not. So I don't backslide."

[thesamurai]

"You're not, do you hear me? You are not the same person who did this."

She pulls him into a hug as the loop allows for.

"You learned from it. That's what we have to do with our mistakes, with the pain. Learn. Use our fuckups to be better."

Which he's done, she's seen it. And God bless her, Clementine has a low tolerance for bullshit. She wouldn't put up with someone who hadn't learned from a wrong-doing this big.

[teamfun]

He allows her to pull him into the hug- only hesitating for a moment, before returning it, squeezing his eyes shut tight, listening to what she has to say. She's right, he knows she is. The fear is always there- the horrible, lingering guilt- the thing that stops him from forgiving himself, from leaving this room.

"Yeah. I- I'm trying, anyway. To be a better person, from all that."

To not hurt anyone if he can help it. And she would be right, Clem absolutely would not have put up with him if he was still that person. Not even for half a damn day.

[thesamurai]

"I think you've done it. I know Wonderland is trying like hell to convince you otherwise, but listen to me, okay? Forget this repetitive bullshit. You know what you did, but you're doing the best you can now."

She rubs his back, knowing this is gutting, to hear his mother falling apart in the next room, or what feels like the next room, anyway.

"Do you believe me?"

[teamfun]

He listens to what she has to say, trying to focus on her words- to let them drown out everything else happening around him. He feels her hand on his back, soothed by it. It brings old, faded memories of a time before he poisoned his home. There were days his own mother would soothe him like this- over some malady which at the time felt world-shattering, but in hindsight was nothing-just silly kids stuff.

And here he is again, falling apart over something much, much bigger- and being soothed by someone else- while his mother's heart breaks due to his own selfish actions. Despite knowing the truth of his past- despite now witnessing a slice of it, despite seeing how he treated his mother...Michonne is still there, saying those words and offering him comfort. It tugs at his heart. To have, in the shadowy echos of one mother, a whole different one being there for him.

"Uh huh," his response is muffled, a little snuffly, he stays clung to her, like a lanky limpet. "I- I mean. If I can believe anyone, it's you, right?"

[thesamurai]

At his question, Michonne pulls back and reaches out, cradling his face between her hands. Looking him straight in the eye, she smiles softly at him, nothing but pride (and sadness for him) on her face.

"That's right. 'Cause I love you. Hear me?"

[teamfun]

Louis honestly can't remember the last time anyone told him that they loved him. Before the world went to shit, to be sure - so literal years. It takes him a moment to process what she's said to him. To let those words sink in. He's only bearly been keeping it together and this kindness finally tips him over. Tears prick at the corners of his eyes, as he offers her a watery smile, leaning into her touch.

"Loud and clear," he clears his throat, trying to make his voice sound less pathetically squeaky. "Love you, too."

[thesamurai]

"Good," Michonne manages quietly, kissing his temple and just holding him, rubbing his back lightly.

"I'm here with you. No matter what."

No matter how long it lasts, she's here.

Louis will remember that (also wrap?)

[teamfun]

"Thanks. I- that means a lot."

And he'll stay huddled up to her, for as long as he can. He might not be able to get out of his own guilt-manufactured hell, but having her there, knowing that she's got him...it provides some comfort through it all. It's a second chance at having a parent, and it means the whole goddamn world to him.