entrancelogs | I'm here again

Entry tags:

I'm here again

Who: Zack Fair & Sephiroth
Where: The beach, in the evening.
When: After this conversation.
Rating: ...PG?
Summary: After losing two friends in less than a week, Zack feels like reaching out to the one friend from Gaia he may never see again outside Wonderland.
The Story:

[ This week has been the hardest he's had to endure since arriving in Wonderland.

The loss of Aerith took him by complete surprise. They'd talked about it once, of course, when he first arrived, but after living and being with her so much, her disappearance hit him that much harder. To lose Kunsel so quickly afterwards pushed him into a state of numb disbelief, and to some extent, he still feels that way. It's only because of Cloud and Angeal that he's doing a little better than he was; their mother-chocoboing has helped a great deal, and he appreciates it more than words can fully express. It makes him want to spend more time with them, to cherish the time that they do have.

It's why he's out here tonight, a little fire burning bright a little ways off from the ocean.

Though he doesn't want to lose any of his friends from home, Zack knows, without a doubt, that he'll see them once again. Angeal met him when it was his time to join the Lifestream. Cloud, he's encouraged as a ghost, and he knows they'll be together one day, too. Aerith, he knows, is waiting for him, and Kunsel he'll see again too.

There's only one person in Wonderland from Gaia that he may never see again.

He brought a cooler with a few beers and a large towel for himself to lay on. It's nothing fancy, and honestly, it's not meant to be. He just wants to spend some time with his friend. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[It's been a long day, and that on top of a long week and a long month; the things that Wonderland has thrown upon them almost seem a welcome distraction from what has been revealed of his own life. He knows it is distraction only and that he must at some point at least talk to Zack, if nothing else, but it is a talk that he does not want to have.

In light of the recent departures though, he has started to wonder how much he will regret it if he keeps his silence.

But their past, his past, is not why Zack had called him to meet this night.

Sephiroth makes his way out of the mansion and down to the beach at the agreed upon time, a towel draped over one arm. He's dressed down just a little bit, all the leather traded for denim and linen, because while there's no plans to go in the water, they'll still be close to it and leather does take forever to dry.

When he comes upon Zack he hesitates for just a moment before stepping into the circle of light cast by his fire.]

Hello, Zack.

[ Zack sits up when Sephiroth approaches, a faint smile lighting his features. ]

Hey.

[ He's out of uniform, too -- a fitted T-shirt and shorts, plus sandals he's kicked off to the side -- since comfort is the main thing here. Zack gestures at the cooler. ]

I brought some drinks if you want one.

[ 'If.' Obviously, drinking ones sorrows away isn't the real purpose of this. He's not the type to get drunk, and Sephiroth isn't, either. ]

In a moment, perhaps.

[This meeting is hardly about the drinks themselves, and more the companionship. He spreads the towel carefully, at an angle to Zack's a similarly close to the fire so that they may have the comfort of conversation without the raising of voices. Then he sits, still with that perfectly straight posture, though after a moment one legs draws up and a forearm drapes atop it.]

I have not been out here much at night; it is pleasant.

[ Perfectly straight posture, indeed. Zack does not such thing; he's sprawled casually on his towel, completely comfortable and informal. But then, he's never been especially rigid, has he?

He smiles a bit and nods. ]

It is.

[ He's been out here at night before, even if it hasn't been that much. It's better to have company here than to be alone.

Leaning back, he points up at the night sky. ]

I've been trying to pick out constellations since the stars are different here.

Kind of hard to tell, sometimes.

[Rigidity may not be for Zack, but such a casual air is not Sephiroth's way. He is not uncomfortable with it in others, but it is not how— or who— he is. In that respect, it is probably something of a wonder that they manage what they do in friendship, but they do and it works.

He allows Zack's hand to lead his eyes, and after a moment Sephiroth leans back as well, weight supported on a forearm.]

Show me the ones you've invented.

Heh.

[ It may not be conventional or normal, but their friendship works despite how unlikely it is. Zack smiles and slips a hand behind his head.

He points as he talks. ]

That cluster there looks like a rabbit. The one to the left of it is a baby chocobo.

Over in that quadrant there, you can see a bear with a fish in his mouth.

[ The list goes on for a little but; apparently, he's spent a fair amount of time doing this. ]

[It takes him five or six constellations before Sephiroth allows himself the liberty enough to lean back more fully. It's not an easy thing to do, to let himself relax so completely— especially around Zack. It's almost been a blessing, the number if things that have happened in the past weeks; it has given him reason not to seek out the younger man to talk.

Sephiroth knows it will not be an easy conversation when it happens, and he knows that procrastination is only the enemy. But tonight, with losses so fresh, it is not the time.

Eventually he raises an arm, tracing again the latest figure Zack has outlined.]

I think your guard hound is a little lumpy. Or has a deformed leg.

[ Obviously to the path the other's thoughts were taking, Zack smiles a little at the answer. ]

It gives him character.

[ Only so many things are actually symmetrical in real life. A constellation is no different.

His expression turns a little wistful. ]

We couldn't really figure what else to call him, anyway.

[ Aerith. ]

[The pronoun is plural, and without even looking at his expression Sephiroth knows that Zack speaks of Aerith. He is not quite sure what to say. He knows that the two were close, both back in Midgar and here in Wonderland.

He is not exactly the most comforting presence when it comes to consoling another.]

A few lumps and bumps, a little character, is perhaps not such a bad thing.

[ A small huff, almost like a laugh escapes him. Oddly enough, it's genuine. ]

Nah. It isn't.

[ There were some things he could have done without in his life, but he does think some of the things he faced made him stronger, too.

He turns over a little, facing Sephiroth. ]

So- how are things with you, Genesis, and Angeal?

[ He could beat around the bush, but- well, where's the sense in that? ]

[The movement distracts him, but not as much as the question. Sephiroth sits up a moment later, and is quiet for some time after. How are things between him and the other Firsts? Strained is likely the most apt descriptor; Sephiroth's interactions with Angeal have stayed within the formality of acquaintances, and Genesis and he have all but agreed to steer clear of each other. As for how he feels about it...

Well. He is the Silver General; there has always been something of distance between him and his men.]

There is a saying in Wutai; it loses some of its poetry in the translation, but it goes something like this: you can mend a broken vase, but you will forever see the cracks.

[ Ah, well - he was sort of expecting that.

Laying on his side, Zack makes a soft, thoughtful noise and props himself on his elbow. He doesn't say anything for a moment, just peers at the other solemnly. ]

You know there were extenuating circumstances, right?

[ It's a gentle prod; he knows better than to push too hard, but considering he was the one who really had to deal with the worst part of the fallout (madness and so on), he thinks a small push is fair enough. ]

I know.

[He knows a lot more than he's telling Zack; Vincent's words still run circles in his brain, as fresh as the day the ex-Turk had uttered them. But for the times he's actually considered sharing that information with Zack, he stops himself every time. Sephiroth has always been a private person; this is— or should be— no different.]

[ Sephiroth may be thinking of a future he hasn't yet seen, but Zack thinks of the past, of Banora and dumbapple trees. He thinks of what he saw in the secret passages underneath Banora, a young man's writings, and the theft admitted to by another.

Dreams.

Honor.

He smiles faintly -- solemnly. ]

It isn't every day that second chances come along.

[ They shouldn't be wasted. ]

A week ago, this place gave me memories of what could have been— a change, just one. In those memories, I did not refuse the mission to Banora.

[He lets that sink in for the space of a few breaths, looking out over the darkened shoreline and not at Zack.]

Three SOLDIER Firsts returned from that mission; two were in body bags. Second chances do not always have the potential one thinks, in comparison to the choice made initially.

[ The words sting, and Zack's brow furrows, the set of his mouth not quite displeased, but dissatisfied with the answer.

His friend, he remembers, is exceptionally stubborn. ]

It's not the same thing.

[ And you know it. ]

Tell me why I promoted you, again.

[It's not really a question; they both know that Zack had deserved the promotion he'd earned, even if he'd still had some growing up to do at the time. And he has been one of the best men with whom Sephiroth has served. And even though Sephiroth would prefer to brush him off, especially in this instance, a small part of him— a part that sounds suspiciously like a certain talking lion— wants him to instead lower one of his walls, just a little bit.]

What is... what has happened between us, it will not be reconciled in just a day, or even a week. You know that, Zack. [There is too much hurt, too much trust broken for it all to be reconciled in a short time.] Beyond that— it depends as much on their actions as my own.

[ Zack can't help it -- he smiles a bit at that answer. ]

To give me more leave to bother you. [ With a hint of impishness: ] Sir.

[ He sobers a little at that last part, but really, it's more forthrightness than he expected after that spiel Sephiroth gave on second chances.

His smile turns a bit solemn, but it's there still, nonetheless. ]

I know.

[ It depends on the others, too, not just Sephiroth, and he can see that. He's making sure reconciliation is being taken in consideration. ]

Just try.

[ That's all he asks. ]

[If Sephiroth was the kind of man prone to such gestures as the rolling of his eyes, he would be indulging in such action. He does however give the impression of it without actually doing so— talent indeed, one borne of too many meetings with certain of ShinRa's higher-ups.

He's still looking away, focused on the ebb and surge of gentle waves lapping the shore. But one hand does raise to tuck his hair behind his ear, opening his profile up to Zack. It's a quiet acceptance of the other man's presence, a sign that his words will not be dismissed immediately.]

Things here are... different.

[It is not entirely a bad thing, just as it is not entirely good.]

[ Zack doesn't say anything about that not!eyeroll -- he's known Sephiroth long enough to read the signs, but he's satisfied that the other is at least considering what he said.

He makes a soft noise, rather like a hum. Thoughtful. ]

I know.

[ Not good, not bad -- just different. This place will never be like Gaia, but that's not what he really expects. What any of them should expect, really.

No perfect place exists, and there's one thing this world provides that they wouldn't have had at home.

He rolls onto his back again and stares up at the sky. ]

We have time.

[ Maybe not as much as they might wish or hope for, but some time is better than none at all. ]

Some, at least.

[Aerith's departure is nothing if not a poignant reminder that the time Wonderland gives them can be fleeting indeed. Sephiroth had not even known her that well— she was more acquaintance to him than anything else— but she had been important to Zack, and he had disliked seeing his lieutenant so depressed by her leaving. Zack is right; the time they are given is not something that should be wasted.

It is just not in Sephiroth's nature to trust easily, or forgive readily.]

But you did not extend an invitation purely to dissect my personal relationships, did you?

[ A small breath of laughter escapes through his nose. Whether it's in jest or not, the question tickles his sense of humor. ]

Nah.

[ He flops over on his back again and smiles. ]

I just wanted to do it.

[ They never had the chance to really "hang out" much during their time with ShinRa, and he's really been wanting to share something with his friend. ]

[Sephiroth looks over at Zack as the younger man flops down, a faint suggestion of a smile creasing his lips. One shared evening certainly doesn't erase the pain of recent events and recent truths, but it does ease things at least a little bit.]

I suppose I should then consider myself lucky to be your target.

[This statement does contain a hint of a jest, moreso than had his previous. Sephiroth eventually leans over and snags Zack's cooler, pulling out two drinks and handing one to his companion.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I'm here again

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject