entrancelogs | ◇ I'm Croaking Up Over Here

Entry tags:

◇ I'm Croaking Up Over Here

Who: Remus Lupin, James Potter, And Anyone Else
Where: One of the Hallways of the mansion.
When: Dec. 2nd
Rating: The Thread rated C for Chocolate Frogs (No seriously though, this is a harmless thread)
Summary: Remus discovers you can, in fact, get chocolate frogs from the Closets.
The Story:

It was completely innocent at first. Remus and James had been trying to charm their own chocolate frogs for a while, with... mixed results.

Asking about them is a dangerous endeavor, and the answers include a lot of knowing inside grins at jokes and horror stories they could tell about it. But long story short, it just isn't that easy to give chocolate the hopping capabilities of a frog. Not to mention neither James or Remus were apparently quite talented enough, artistically, to make a proper frog. So when and if the did hop, they did so off balance and looked more than a little unwieldy.

Still, they tried. Points for Effort. Remus wasn't ready to give up quite yet, but all the false chocolate frogs left him craving a real one.

That was where the innocent fun became this full scale chaos. A pile of chocolate frog boxes stacked haphazardly in a mountain at one end of the hall, while chocolate frogs with numbers etched in their backs are set loose on the floor.

That's right. Chocolate Frog Racing. The way only marauders could organize it.

At the moment, Remus is a little busy trying to hold his sides in as the frogs go every direction but the simple straight one they were intended to. Good luck if you were turning down the hall or coming out of a doorway. You just might end up with a chocolate frog or two on you.

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"This was the greatest idea."

James has been laughing so hard that really, it's the only thing he can say for a few moments. And he's said that about many, many ideas in the past, but at the moment? This one is absolutely the greatest.

He reaches out and tries to catch one nearby, to put it back on track, but laughs twice as hard when it slips between his fingers. It's a disaster. A beautiful, perfect, hilarious disaster. And those are always the best kind, aren't they?

Remus has been joining him in all that laughter. The frogs are as amazing a disaster as he had thought they would be, and he had to admit, it was definitely one of their better ideas.

"We'll never get them across the finish line at this rate, silly buggers. Chocolate for brains. Bit over-rated, apparently."

He caught one of the frogs and aimed it directly at James, making sure it jumped right at him with a crooked grin.

James gives a shout that's at least fifty percent laughter and puts his arms up, but the frog sails right over them and into his hair. It doesn't really have anywhere to run though, so James clamps his hands over his head, looking fairly silly in the process.

"Uh-huh. Right. I'll be sure to remind you how over-rated they are the next time you catch me in your stash of them."

And with a sly smile, he plucks the chocolate frog off of his head and flings it in Remus' direction. He's kidding, of course. Everyone in Gryffindor Tower knows that a man who comes between Remus and his chocolate is a dead man. That's just common sense.

It was definitely a good idea though. For a few minutes, it's like nothing's changed. It's like they're at home, in any given hall at Hogwarts.

And that feeling is exactly what Remus had been looking for. A little bit home, a little bit happier memories, and just enough ridiculous to keep it from slipping backward into the less pleasant or sorrow tinged spectrum of dipping into the past.

Besides. It's chocolate. No one can go wrong with chocolate as Remus will be the first to insist every single time.

It's a magical thing, even when not enchanted.

"Keep your hands out of my chocolate stash and we wouldn't have that problem, would we?"

"I suppose not. But your chocolate tastes better," he whines. "It's something about the extra bit of danger, knowing I could get caught. Adds a bit of spice and makes it just a little sweeter."

He knows those two things contradict, but he doesn't care. He just looks particularly mischievous at the thought of it.

"Besides, I'm usually pretty good about replacing it, aren't I?" he laughs, using his foot to nudge one of the frogs in the right direction. "I think I've even gotten away with it once or twice!"

That might be safe to admit now, in the company of a few dozen chocolate frogs. But he can always go back and deny it. He is absolutely not above lying to protect himself from the chocolate-fueled wrath of Remus Lupin.

"Of course it does. Because my pockets are enchanted and every piece of chocolate that moves through my hands becomes that much better just by being in my proximity"

He snorts at the response and gives James a shove. If he were really angry with James he would just Hex the chocolate. But the truth was, he never minded sharing his chocolate. Even if James stole it to get it. He just enjoyed the old banter bleeding through.

Remus' wand flicks, and a chocolate frog flies to smack right into James' face. Sorry number 7, alls fair in war and chocolate.

James laughs and shoves him right back, and everything is like it always was.

"Of course they are! It's about time you-"

That's all he can get out before another chocolate frog hits him in the face, right in the glasses. It leaves a smudge behind that he has to stop and clean with a wave of his own wand. But he doesn't seem particularly bothered. No, he just looks a but more mischievous, because anything is game in war and chocolate.

Which is, of course, why the nearest three chocolate frogs (7, 15, and 3) are all flying at Remus. And should any of them miss, they will simply turn around and strike from behind.

This has turned into an all out chocolate war. Man the stations. Casualties must be eaten to ensure no loss of strength. Time to fight dirty. And that's exactly what Remus does when he turns things into an unfortunate and messy waste of chocolate.

Because frog number 19 is sent James' way and promptly melts mid flight. Remus could worry about apologies for the mess later. Right now it was serious Chocolate Battle time. And 3 is becoming an edible casualty.

He doesn't see it coming at all.

Later he will be genuinely disappointed in himself for underestimating Remus Lupin in the fine art of magically manipulating chocolate. But for now, he moves to bounce the frog back at Remus like it's a ball, but the spell misses completely (since he's expecting it to be frog-shaped and not the melty blob it quickly becomes.)

Entertainingly, his face goes from looking devilishly mischievous to "oh Merlin I'm about to drown to death in chocolate" in less than a second. And it predictably splatters everywhere, all over him.

He coughs a bit, then laughs, and he licks some chocolate out of the corner of his mouth. He fumbles for the nearest thing that feels like it might be a chocolate frog and pitches it at Remus by hand...and promptly misses because his view is completely obstructed by chocolate, but it was worth a shot.

There are a lot of things that Toothless has come to expect, from randomly wandering the mansion. Frightening someone is a given. An intriguing, wafting smell from the kitchens. Maybe someone who feels in a violent mood. But a frog running past him that isn't a frog? Okay, that's a new one.

The Night Fury takes one more step into the intersection and then stares, bewildered, as another frog dashes past him.

Any second, though, he'll probably be poised to spring after them.

The Night Fury wasn't the first dragon Remus has ever seen, but he was the only one that small he has seen in person. Not to mention his appearance was unlike any of the dragon breeds Remus was familiar with. He patted James on the arm, watching the dragon with interest as it paused. Remus nudged a chocolate frog to send it in Toothless' direction, and watched the dragon with a mix of amazement and curiosity.

Toothless watches the other until it gets far enough away for him to lose interest, not the sharpest dragon on the block, but then catches sight of the new frog leaping toward and past him in little jumps. The Night Fury's green eyes widen, staring, the dragon's body going completely still. And then, in a flash of black, Toothless lunges forward and closes his teeth around the magical confection.

Remus laughs in pleasant surprise at the dragon's chocolate frog hunting techniques. And as someone who well knew the dangers of dragons, he really shouldn't have gotten up to try and approach, but he did regardless. At the least it was a smaller dragon. He stepped around the various frogs on his way, almost a dance in his attempts not to waste good chocolate by crushing it into the floor, and stopped a few feet away.

"Didn't think dragons were much for chocolate, but I guess if it hops like a frog and it looks like a frog..." It was hesitant conversation, and he was ready to go for his wand, but only if the dragon turned out to be hostile.

"Did you like that?"

Sugar is tasteless for Toothless — or sweet things are, to be more specific. He chews and swallows, but like the confections he'd raided from America's birthday party he can't get anything from them. They must be for show, he figures, puzzled, before looking up at Remus' approach.

The Viking isn't familiar, but he thinks he's caught wafts of his scent before.

As for the question, Toothless gives Remus a very distinct nod. They're very intriguing little not-frogs. Maybe he'd like actual frogs better, but that wouldn't be nearly as good a show for Henry.

Go figure, it's like the one time you actually try to be responsible around the mansion, epic distractions rear their oddly froglike heads. Stiles had been nose deep in a book in the library, avoiding the hell out of people for reasons and Reasons alike, and studying the books on Alice in Wonderland he'd managed to wrangle from the closet earlier this year. But considering he forgot his notes in the room, that means a sneaky trip back, and as Stiles turns the corner from the library towards the staircase, he's promptly attacked by a chocolate frog.

"--Ohhhh my god!" With a yelp, he jumps backwards, limbs and books flailing as he tries to get whatever it is that just jumped up his flannel out, and after comically hopping on one foot for a second and basically looking like something out of a cartoon, the frog comes out of his sleeve and he grabs it with both hands, staring at it.

And then realization dawns on his face. "--Oh my god!"

Immediately, he jerks his head left and spots where the commotion is coming from, grinning at James and Remus as he waves his prize. "You got the closet to work!"

Remus cracks up as he watches the flailing teen's comical display, fighting to cover his mouth, eyebrow arched in amusement as Stiles stumbles about on one foot. Really, it's priceless, and Remus would almost feel bad for the prank were it not for the fact that Stiles just looks hilarious right now, and really it isn't hurting anyone.

He looks so pleased, too, when he has both feet on the ground, that Remus can only wave to the boy with a cheerful grin.

"Like a charm. Some might claim we got carried away, but personally I think they were bound to leap out sooner or later."

Stiles returns the smile right back, pretty much a thousand megawatts as he holds the chocolate frog now melting in his hands. It's squirming and wriggling occasionally, but he totally has it, and his childhood is about to be realized.

...Except, when he picks it up to actually look at it, it's still moving around. Stiles holds it by a leg and looks between it and Remus. "Please tell me it's going to stop moving when it goes in my mouth."

No one ever explained that much okay. A part of him wonders how many other weird wizard treats they could get out of the closet--he would kill to try Every Flavor Beans. And maybe Puking Pastilles, to get out of awkward pack meetings...

"Absolutely not," James chimes in from a couple of feet away. "You have to eat them quick or they'll try and hop right out again."

He had been a little preoccupied trying to fetch a frog that had managed to hop up the wall (which, of course, is completely off the race track). He's tall, but it still takes a little jump before he's able to yank it down by one of its legs.

"And sometimes if you don't chew them well enough, you can feel them wiggle a bit on their way down. Harmless, but more than a bit odd-feeling."

James eyes his catch as if it's personally victimized him by making him chase it halfway across the hall and then pops it in his mouth as a demonstration. This one is officially disqualified.

"That would be disappointing. James had one hop around in his stomach for half a day, once. That's what happens when you don't chew properly."

Much like he will probably do again, now, and Remus arches a brow at him, amused, before grinning at Stiles once more.

"Go ahead. The first one is the most disturbing, but after that the feeling grows on you."

Souji does strange things for strange reasons, so his presence in this particular hallway really needs no explanation. He is just there. Zen-like. Going about his idiosyncratic business.

And then there is a chocolate frog on his shoulder. He's pretty impressed that it got up that high, to tell the truth, but that thought slips his mind as soon as he smells that it's made of chocolate. For someone who will eat just about anything he finds lying around, there is no question that this frog is going straight into Souji's mouth, never mind that it can move on its own. Its consumption is simply an inevitability.

But this particular frog proves to be faster than Souji. He's disappointed for a moment, until he realizes that there are plenty of these things around, and if he doesn't fear eating an animated chocolate frog, he certainly doesn't mind eating one off of the floor.

It isn't until he manages to catch one and bite into it that he notices there's a 6 (or what's left of a 6) etched into its back. Then he notices the pile of boxes a ways off. This clearly requires some investigation.

Remus missed most of that fantastic display of muggle acceptance of magical chocolates, but he did catch sight of Souji and the partially eaten frog when he made his way over to investigate, and the wizard offered him a bright smile, etching a 23 into the back of another squirming frog. None had really managed to make it even halfway down the hall yet, but Remus had faith one of them would make it eventually. It was just they all got a bit duck-footed after that first good jump, so it was taking a while.

Six got crossed off the list with a quill pen.

"Hello! Come to join our festive frog race?"

Souji swallows the rest of number 6 and looks down the hallway.

"Is it really a race?" It didn't seem like anyone was in the lead. Or like they were even aware they needed to try.

"Well, to be fair, they do have chocolate for brains."

Remus gave a slight shrug and a playful smile. And maybe it was cheating a little, but he gave number twelve a toss down the hall. It didn't do much good when the enchanted chocolate merrily hopped its way into a wall instead.

James, at the time, had been a little ways away, trying very hard to catch number ten, because it's going in completely the wrong direction. He's got it in his hands when he finally looks up.

"Is that Souji over there?" Of course, this isn't a question Remus can answer, but James knows the answer already. He waves and calls out again, "Souji! Hey!"

Of course, as soon as he takes a hand away to wave, his frog jumps and he has to scramble to try and catch it in mid-air. But, it was worth it.

Souji waves back, less enthusiastic than James, but still happy.

"Hey."

He looks at Remus again and tilts his head.

"You're Remus, right?" He's older than Souji expected. "I'm Souji."

He was older than James expected to, but Remus is feeling like a kid back in Hogwarts today, and it has him warm and cheerful as he nods to Souji. This is one of James' friends here, and any friend of James', is a friend of his.

"I am. It's good to meet you, Souji. You're welcome to join us, if you like. Our efforts might not be extending far, but watching them ruin all our plans is half the fun of it all."

Another laugh and he let's number 23 go again.

"And eating them is the other half."

So what if they happened to have hopped all over the hall.

James is thrilled - he's been hoping for an excuse for these two to meet. Souji's one of his closest friends from Wonderland, and Remus is one of his closest friends from home. Clearly, they need to also be friends with each other.

...Oh, did he skip the memo about how Remus is a bit older? Oops.

"Yeah, we've been trying to get them to race, but they haven't been all that cooperative. That one over there's probably closest to winning, but it's hopping sideways now, so it's anyone's race really."

It's not going to happen though, not really. They'll be lucky if even one of them crosses the finish line.

"C'mon! It'll be fun."

Souji opens his mouth to respond, but is distracted by a frog that keeps hopping into his leg, falling back a bit, and then hopping into him again. The best way he can think of to mitigate this is to scoop up the frog and eat it.

...This is really good chocolate.

Like.

Really good.

And there is absolutely nothing about the fact that the chocolate is cute and animated that is going to stop him from eating it.

"I think if the race doesn't work out, you could turn it into a battle royale."

Remus doesn't quite fully understand the term, but the words are enough to make the concept obvious, and he laughs at the idea, glancing over at James with his brows arched in amusement.

"Not a bad idea. I wonder if we could find a way to make dueling frogs."

Because clearly the race is working out stupendously, how could a more complicated game possibly go wrong?

James hasn't heard it before either, but it seems easy enough to understand. Frog battles sound interesting!

"I'll bet we could," James said, his smile spreading. "Put them all in a circle and see if they'll have a go at each other. I dunno if chocolate frogs would understand the art of dueling, but it'd still be fun. Survival of the chocolatiest?"

There is absolutely nothing wrong with this plan and of course chocolate frogs are going to understand the concept of battling. It is a beautiful plan.

It might be difficult to pull off if Souji doesn't stop eating all the potential contestants.

"It's probably easier to win a battle royale by accident than it is to win a race by accident."

Sh. It's just a battleground hazard. They are coliseum warriors and he is the lion.

Remus just shakes his head and tosses his arms up in defeat.

"Sooner or later they're all going to stop jumping. I wonder if we could find a way to attach tiny jousting sticks to them..."

"We probably could!" James pipes up. "And actually, if we used candy for jousting sticks...maybe chocolate wands or something..."

This is going to a slightly disturbing but very delicious place - if the frogs hop around and successfully joust each other, they'll be impaled on more candy. It's a perfect plan.

....

"How fast do you think we can get candy sticks?"

"Pretty bloody fast, if the closet hasn't taken to boycotting us already."

Remus grinned. He thought he could see where this was going, and it was going to a brilliant place.

"James? Do the honors, will you, Mate? I think it might put me on candy watch, soon."

With the amount of things Remus got out of the closets, it wouldn't surprise him. He was a wizard, and wizards didn't often see a problem in magic closets. Why not? If it was there and so far there didn't seem to be terrible consequences, Remus would continue to abuse it.

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◇ I'm Croaking Up Over Here

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