entrancelogs | time to take a stroll

[Peter laughs and shakes his head. Oh, he only wished that he was a prince instead of a run of the mill, ordinary wizard.]

No, I'm not a prince. Just a wizard from a magic family with little standing. School is better in a castle but it's still school. I still have my classes and the professors that frighten me and more work then I can handle most times. Not to mention truly frightening tests that will determine my entire life once I complete my course work. But the castle is home so I can't complain.

[...nope, still cool.]

You mean you get to live there too?

Hey, what if we made my castle look like yours? Do you think you could help me with that?

I do. It's a boarding school. I only go home for the summer. For the past seven years Hogwarts has been my home more than my small flat with my Mum.

[And for more reasons than just the fact that Peter spent the majority of the past seven years at the castle. His family was there: James, Sirius and Remus. Without them, Peter didn't know what he would do and it was this main point that scared him about leaving the castle. How would he survive without his brothers constantly around him?]

Yes, I would love that, actually. Hogwarts is a lovely castle. Here, let me show you the layout.

[Peter picked up the shovel and began to map out a floor plan on the sand just behind the large moat that Brittany had carved out.]

Here is the Great Hall and right next to it is the kitchens and Hufflepuff house. Then here is the staircase that goes up to the Ravenclaw and Gryffindor Dormitories. Over here the corridors snake down to the dungeons - that's where Slytherin house is held. Above it is the lake - there's a Giant Squid that lives there. The Quidditch Pitch is out towards the back of the castle and all around is the Forbidden Forest.

[She repositioned herself to come kneel closer to him, peeking over his shoulder as he started to map out the plan. Brushing a bit of hair behind her ear to keep it out of her face. The more he spoke, the wider her eyes got.]

We're gonna need a lot more sand.

[Peter laughed, finally feeling comfortable instead of nervous. Talking about Hogwarts does that to him.]

We are, aren't we? I'll start gathering the sand if you want. I can fill these buckets and we can make a large pile right here in the middle of the moat.

[And actually having a plan she can understand makes her even more comfortable than she already was.]

Alright.

You do that, and I'll...keep it from falling into the moat, I guess.

Ok. That sounds like a plan.

[Peter grins brightly as he turns to an untouched patch of sand, busying himself with filling the bucket before dumping it in the middle of the moat.]

You know this is the first time I'm building a sand castle. I hope I'm doing this right.

What did you build before?

Nothing. I've never built anything before, not with my bare hands. I've transfigured loads of objects before but, this is a first for me.

Never?

Do they not have beaches in your magic castle? That's so sad....

There's the lake but there isn't any sand, not really. More like wet grass and reeds. I fell in it once. James was dangling me over to see if I could get the Giant Squid to surface. We didn't see it. I just ended up with a wicked cold after. Had to drink a Pepper Up Potion for a week. Nasty stuff, really.

[Peter was babbling but it was a good thing. Peter only felt comfortable talking around people who had earned his trust. Usually he was as quiet as a mouse. It wasn't until he really got to know someone that his chatty, more Gryffindor side became more apparent.]

[She only caught maybe half of what he was talking about. Something about wet grass...a guy named James who was dangling...Giant Squids...Colds...drinking something nasty....]

This James guy doesn't sound all that nice. Is he a bully?

[This might come as a shock, but Brittany knew a little something about bullies.]

[She kind of used to be one. Somewhat.]

What? No. No! James is my best mate! He only dangled me because I'm the shortest. Otherwise it would have been Sirius to try to feed the Giant Squid. James isn't a bully. He's... brilliant! Absolutely.

[Peter is beaming. He gets this way whenever he's given the opportunity to talk about James. He doesn't care if he sounds as though he's fawning over his best mate. He's brilliant. Peter feels that everyone needs to know this.]

...do you like him?

[Part of it was the slight language barrier: mate...brilliant... But it was also the tone and sudden beaming.]

What?

[Peter dropped the bucket he was filling and the sand spilled all over the small mound in the center of the moat.]

No. I mean.... well, it's James, of course I like him but not... I mean, not like... well, like when a bloke likes another bloke because I don't.... I'm not.... I like girls, I promise.

You can like guys and girls, you know.

I do.

[Peter doesn't really know how to respond to that. His cheeks flame red and he turns back to the sand, digging to avoid comment.]

He has a girlfriend, you know. So it doesn't matter.

Of course it matters.

I mean, yeah, if he has a girlfriend, you should totally respect that. But you should also respect yourself and be willing to open up to how you feel.

I don't feel anything. [His words are punctuated with sharp stabs into the sand.]

Because it's James and he's been my best mate for seven bloody years and he's only been in love with Lily for the past four and it doesn't matter because if it wasn't her, he would have Sirius and I don't care because it doesn't matter and I don't. Want. To. Talk. About. It.

[He's shaking now. He really shouldn't have let himself go down that line of thought. It only ever lead to him getting angry at nothing and now he's gone and embarrassed himself in front of a pretty girl who was only trying to help.

Wasn't that always what happened? Now he remembers why he just doesn't bother because nothing ever works out the way he wants it to. He's covered in sand, he's bent the plastic shovel nearly in half and all he wants to do is just crawl into the sand and pretend he didn't say anything at all.

If he had his wand, he'd hide as Wormtail. But seeing as how he buggered that up as well...]

Forget I said anything.

[Brittany fell completely silent before he'd even finished that first sentence.]

[The more he went on, the more solemn her expression went. She wasn't shocked. She'd seen similar reactions by friends in the past. Santana, especially--the girl always had a habit of getting angry the more upset she got. It was instinctive. She also wasn't hurt or offended, either. Just the opposite.]

...I said something wrong.

I'm sorry.

[Peter presses his hands to his face, not caring that he's now rubbing sand everywhere. He needs to push all of those feelings back down where they belong. It's easy enough - he's used to hiding his emotions.]

Don't be sorry. Really, I just have a bad habit of saying too much sometimes. I'm sorry about the shovel. Maybe... maybe I could get you a new one?

It's fine.

I can just ask the closet for another one. I'm sure it won't mind.

[It was awkward again and he couldn't help but feel like he wrecked it. He had an opportunity to branch out, to meet someone new and he just stepped in it.]

Yeah. I guess you can.

[He looks down at the shovel and the jagged hole he has just dug.]

I'm sorry I wrecked your sandcastle. Maybe I should go.

[The irony was that Brittany felt similarly. She said something stupid again, and she ended up upsetting her new friend.]

You don't have to if you don't want to.

But if you want to, I'd understand.

[HE doesn't know what to do. He feels like he's stuck - part of him saying he'd be a fool to walk away now and the other part saying he was only just going to humiliate himself further if he stayed. He tried to glance around to see if he could find James. He was still stuck depending on the one friend he had here rather than come up with an original thought himself.

What should he do? What would James want him to do?]

I don't really want to. But I ... don't think I should stay. I"m just going to end up making it worse. So maybe... maybe we try this again, yeah? Another time?

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