entrancelogs | (OPEN) ...Dreaming of what could be

Entry tags:

(OPEN) ...Dreaming of what could be

Who: Darcy Lewis AND YOU!
Where: All around Storybrooke
When: The duration of the event October 24-28
Rating: Probably up to R possibly for talks of deaths/alcoholism/will update as needed
Summary: Going through the motions of the event along with her Community Advocacy program.

The Story:

October 24th:

Darcy had always been ambitious, having pushed her way through both undergrad and grad school in record times. Always taking on larger course loads than necessary - having learned from the best during her internship with Judge Michael Shurley. You had to work hard to get where you wanted, nothing else as satisfying a reward as seeing the results of your hard work.

And that's exactly what she's doing. Having gotten her Master's in Political Science, she filled what she viewed as a void in Storybrooke - helping those who couldn't help themselves. It wasn't glamorous, but it was necessary, fueled by a passion lit in her a long time ago by someone who now fell into that category. Sure, it was thankless most of the time and called for long hours and dealing with people that didn't want the help - only able to sit back and watch them deteriorate, but someone had to do it.

She lived above the office she'd set up shop in, having help from ~~Kate Bishop~~ Beth. It gave her the opportunity to work around the clock, pushing aside simple pleasures in life like love and a thriving social life in the name of helping others.

October 25th/26th:

It's weird, but there's an almost need over the two day span to do things outside of her norm - reach out to people in a casual setting. Maybe even stop into the diner or bar in a non-professional capacity. Looking to share a laugh or two rather than passing out a pamphlet, picking someone up that needed help, or dropping off a meal.

She might even stop off in the church to sit for a few moments - try and find a sense of peace that had been missing in her life.

October 27th/28th:

The war of memories rages in her mind, only getting worse with each passing hour. She had been so sure of herself - working hard enough to rival Jane. It was something that was almost parallel with what she'd been doing in Wonderland with the coffee shop. Always helping everyone else - putting other people's needs before her own. It had been taken to an extreme here. Rather than deal with it all, she heads off to find a familiar face - a real familiar face. If that fails, she'll settle for a dark corner to sit in and a bottle of something strong to wash away some of the bitterness.

Wonderland can go screw itself.

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Maybe it's lame to hide out at work all day, but in the early hours of the morning, it had seemed like a smart enough idea. She had no idea what Will and Derek might be up to back home but her imagination had been far from any comfort. Had they even noticed her last night when she came home from work or had they been too busy with each other?

God, what if they wound up doing more? In the bed she's shared with Derek since moving in to that apartment? She wants Will to be happy and if he's happy with Derek... No. She shouldn't be okay with that. It should hurt more. It should hurt a lot more.

Kind of like her head. Blinking groggily at the bright light of an opening door, she looks up to see Darcy walk through the door.

"Hey," she murmurs, digging around her desk for her sunglasses. "What time is it?"

She had to get coffee, especially after dealing with Blake last night. The stuff they usually had in the office wasn't strong enough - didn't offer her the satisfying kick she desperately needed.

"Hey. Early. Ridiculously early. Like the kind of early I usually manage. If I had known you were gonna be here I'd have grabbed coffee for you too."

The last several days have left Blake Thomas with lots to think about. Between the old flames and the new problems, he might as well be a normal, every day person. Save for the copious amounts of alcohol he consumes on a regular basis.

He's taken up a bench between the church and the diner, his unofficial spot when he's not interested in drinking in his car.

There's too much to think about. His empty stomach, his low-level buzz, the fact that he's been a total fuck up for too long. When his stomach growls, he tips back the last of his alcohol and then stands to wobble his way to the garbage can. At least he's not a litter bug.

Darcy steps out of the diner with far more food than she'd intended, but for some reason it didn't bug her. It had all looked so good and she never let herself indulge anymore. What would one night hurt? That little bit of glee quickly melts when she catches sight of Blake.

There's no hesitation as she crosses to him, doing her best to catch his attention as he moves to the garbage can. There's a softness to her voice that most people don't get when she's checking up on them, but most people weren't Blake.

"Hey, when's the last time you ate?"

Darcy.

Blake's taken aback by the sight of her right there, that caring and familiar expression so clear even thorough the alcohol haze. He remembers how many good times they had together in high school and that doesn't quite help him catch his breath.

"There were cookies at the group," he says and he almost wishes it was just a joke. Or that he'd had the cookies today instead of yesterday at Michael's group meeting.

"Hey, are you—? How're you?"

She lets out a little sigh at that, knowing the group meeting schedule. She could guess when he'd had them and if that wasn't enough, no one could survive on cookies.

Rather than answer his question, she holds up the large bag of food. "Why don't you come back to my place and we can catch up. I've got more than enough for two."

It always makes his stomach sink a bit when someone takes pity on him. He knows that's not Darcy's intention — she's painfully genuine as a person — but he doesn't feel as if he deserves this kind of treatment, not after colossally fucking up his life.

"Ah, are you sure you— you don't got some other kinda plans? Havin' more'n enough for two usually means a person's expectin' company," he says, thinking for sure he's stepping on someone's toes to accept the offer.

"I can walk with you." It's an abrupt change of direction, but he figures it'll probably save him some hassle.

She may be painfully genuine, but she could also be a genuine pain in the ass. Stubbornness isn't something she's tried to grow out of or move past. It came in handy - like right now. One of the perks of the stubborn streak is that she doesn't care how much of a mess he's made of his life - she was gonna find a way to help him.

When he was ready. If he was ever ready.

Her face sets in an expression that should seem fairly familiar to him. One that would let him know that he wasn't gonna get rid of her that easily.

"I just got a little overzealous at the diner. No plans and there's no way I'm gonna finish this. Besides, I hate leftovers. So you should help me out with that."

He's gonna change the direction, she's gonna steer it right back. Besides, it might be nice to have some company considering she'd pretty much grown allergic to the idea of dating.

He's not that far behind her on the dating front. If it's not named Jack or Killian, he's not that interested these days. Thankfully, there's still something of that old kinship he'd felt when they were dating, so he finds there's little use in arguing much more.

"Yeah, okay," he finally agrees, nodding slowly. He's a bit wobbly on his feet, but he manages well enough as they head in the direction he knows she's going.

Darcy's probably one of his favorite people. She has such a way about her that even something like this feels enticing and warm. He wishes more situations filtered this way, but most of his interactions are limited to short transactions and arguments as to whether the benches in the park are subject to public use and therefore he can't be tossed out for sleeping on them.

This sort of caring isn't as common as it used to be.

"Things been goin' okay at— at work?"

There's an almost relief that washes over her when he doesn't argue, too pooped to deal with it. Arguing came with the job - trying to convince people to do things that would help them in the long run even if it meant a drastic change of some sort. A deviation from their depressing routine.

Everyone deserved to have someone that cares about them - even if they didn't believe it. It was something she tried to bring to each case - remind herself they were more than just a casefile and a number.

With a sigh, she gives a nod. "They're going - getting anything approved around here is like pulling teeth most of the time. You never realize just how much red tape there really is until you're drowning in it." It's thankfully a short walk to her apartment above the office, unlocking the door one-handed with a practiced ease. Flipping on the light in the purple stairwell, she heads straight to the kitchen, depositing the food on the counter before flipping on a soft light. While she loved the bright colors, sometimes they were a little much.

"Want some coffee?"

If nothing else, Blake expects color when it comes to Darcy. He always sees her in such a vibrant light when he thinks back, like some kind of missed opportunity, like some kind of bypassed saving grace. There was a time he was certain he could have saved himself if he would have held on harder, but even that knowledge faded away to a reality that says things are clearly better off when they're apart.

He smiles thinly and shrugs. "Yeah, coffee sounds great, thanks," he says as he moves closer. He'd prefer a couple shots of bourbon, but he's definitely not going to ask Darcy for that.

He doesn't sit. He's used to standing to avoid dirtying things that don't belong to him. And since he likely stinks, it's probably better he maintains this policy.

"Pretty— The red tape gets you. Me an' bureaucracy, we're pretty familiar." Bureaucracy's really what got him into this situation, the way he looks at it.

There's a lot of what ifs and could have beens when it comes to them, guilt still hanging over her for his current state. She should have stuck around, should have helped him out in some other way. Maybe he wouldn't be the way he is now, hell they might have even still been together.

She busies herself with the coffee, rather than think too hard about that. She'd almost expected him to ask her to spike the coffee, happy to hear him instead talk about red tape. Imagine that.

Handing over one of the two filled mugs, she grabs plates and silverware before starting to unpack the food. "Yeah, I think I'm close though. Or at least it's a safe assumption since the amount of paperwork has seemed to double." She loads up the plates with an assortment of foods, picking them both up and giving him a Look.

"Couch or dining table?"

Blake shifts haplessly in the area he's designated for himself. "Dining table," he says, somewhat decisively, before moving in that direction.

As far as Darcy goes, in Blake's eyes she can do little wrong. Honestly, he wasn't accepting of help when she was offering so she can't and shouldn't blame herself. Unfortunately, it's always harder when there are loved ones involved.

Thomas takes one of the plates from her and narrowly navigates through the maze of furniture to a seat. He wishes he'd had a chance to take a shower before coming here, but since there's no turning back now, he figures they'll just have to deal with the smell of stale booze and who-knows-what.

"Why don't you get an assistant?" It seems like a good answer to the issues she's having. "Or is that— is that more red tape?"

She doesn't blame him for his current state - not when she'd kinda sprung it all on him. Although, to be fair, she's not all that sure he'd have said yes if she'd extended a formal invitation for dinner. It was easier to ambush than be polite, at least in her experience. People were full of excuses, it was in their nature.

She deposits her plate across from him, returning to the kitchen to pour some of the coffee in a little carafe to bring to the table along with salt and pepper and a few other seasoning options. There's a little laugh at the mention of an assistant, following it with a sigh as she settles back into the chair.

"Yeah, I kinda have one... Her name is Kate. She's great. If I wanted to pay her more, that'd be a ton of red tape for the funding." Which is something she'd be toying with going through anyways, but that was an issue for another day. "Maybe I'll make her jump through her own red tape for her raise."

"Always thought you jumpin' through red tape was kinda like your gift to mankind. You oughta give her that gift if she's worth it," he says, oddly mindful of the emotions involved in something like that.

Grabbing up a fork, he begins cutting through the food, taking small bites and feeling grateful. His stomach agrees with a meaningful growl, obvious pleased he's finally gobbling down something better than cookies.

"If she's anything like you, she'll—" He laughs a little. "—she'll have already prepared for that kinda red tape." Darcy was always good at looking ahead, he felt.

Edited 2014-12-09 06:48 (UTC)

"My gift to mankind..." It's said lightly with an endearing tone as she gives a little laugh. It really was a specialty, one she wishes she didn't need to use on an almost daily basis.

With a warm smile, she nods. Kate really did have potential. "She's great, really. At times I think she's more patient than I am when it comes to certain things, especially paperwork and having to make call after call after call."

After a beat, poking at the food on her plate with her fork, she lets her eyes rest on him. "I think you'd like her."

"Eh, she'd be sick of my stink quick enough," he reasons, but there isn't even any self-consciousness around Darcy anymore, or anyone really. Blake know she stinks, knows he would wear on anyone's nerves if given enough opportunity, so he can't imagine it's not the absolutely truth.

Feeling like he shouldn't wait for things to get depressing, he shovels a mouthful of food into his mouth and then looks over at Darcy again. "You seein' anyone these days?" If he has the chance, he's almost always willing to turn the tables to talk about someone other than himself. It just so happens in Darcy's case, he has a lot more wiggle room than most. Plus, his interest is warranted, as far as he's concerned.

"Oh my god, shut up. You don't give yourself enough credit. I'm sure she'd adore you." Because he was a hell of a lot better than he thought. Of course, she was biased, she knew what he used to be - had cared deeply about him in what seems like a lifetime ago.

Speaking of... That question earns a little cough from it's perfect timing of her taking a drink. Putting down the cup, she lifts her eyebrows at him. "No. No time... A thing that relationships need to work." Along with her actually stepping outside of her safe little work box to open herself back up to even just the idea of another relationship. "I'm just fine on my own."

"Yeah, I hear that a lot," he says, but it's in no way mocking. It seems like most everyone wants to turn in when they're having trouble or stressful times, and usually it's the most immediate relationships that suffer the most. John might be a stinking drunk, but all that time on the police force in Storybrooke allowed him to become something of a decent people watcher.

Silently, Blake noshes on his food and watches Darcy. He can't help but feel incredibly fond, even if he knows she's living every bit the same lie he tells himself all the time. They all need someone, they all want someone, and between the two of them, they're better than anyone at using whatever convenient excuse is nearby and handy to avoid taking too much of a risk.

He runs a hand down his face. "You should make the time. It's good for you to be taken care of." You know, for the record.

"I don't need to be taken care of..." Although that doesn't mean she doesn't want to be taken care of. It was just easier this way. There was less of a chance of being hurt again. As tough as she's able to project, the care and adoration she had for the man sitting in front of her was enough of a reason to not try and jump back into the fray. She could only handle so much heartache.

"Same thing could be said for you. Take a chance to try again, try and rebuild - start fresh." Not with her... Though she wouldn't turn him away. Their history had pretty much closed in terms of a chapter in her life - this was just padding to fluff it out a little further. She didn't know what he had going on in terms of possible new romances and the longer she thought about it - the worse she felt for never following up on that side of his life. So much of her job was worrying about peoples basic needs, love didn't tend to come into the mix.

Her voice softens, attempting to bring some levity back into the conversation - get it away from the serious direction it was taking. The way it could dig up some things and questions she wasn't sure she had an answer for. "Or we could say screw it and run away."

Even with the heavy subject matter, Blake has to admit that he feels a hundred time more comfortable in Darcy's company. The food's beginning to pile up, too, so he's feeling a little less empty. Head shaking back and forth, he smiles at her from his seat.

"Run away, huh? Doesn't sound like us," he says. Wasn't there a time where they were certain and able enough to take on the world? Wasn't there a time when nothing anyone could say would deter them from their goals? It had been a life about career paths, a life about helping people, a life about doing more. Sometimes it feels so distant, but at times like this, Thomas has to admit his grasp could almost be long enough to reclaim things if he thought he could hold on tight enough to Darcy in the process.

"If you had the tickets, I'd send you away with someone that's actually good for you. You know I've got more baggage than a plane can carry. Just have to come visit instead."

It didn't, but maybe that was where they were getting hung up. Maybe they were so locked up in the boxes they'd fit themselves into that it was hurting more than helping. If she showed her past self what the future looked like, she might have hit herself. Honestly - the spontinaity was gone, that fire that had fed her dreams had been put away for a rainy day. It had been replaced with paperwork and someone else's work ethic morphing into her own... Namely that of a judge.

And the holding on works both ways. She'd lost touch with the personal side of her life - maybe this was her chance to attempt to regain some footing on that front.

"Yeah? Well, maybe you should put some of that baggage off to the side for a little while and come with me instead because I have yet to meet anyone who was as good for me as you. I can be myself with you and you'll never know just how special that is to me." It sounds incredibly sappy, enough so that she clears her throat before grabbing the carafe to top it off with some more coffee back in the kitchen.

As much as he'd like to live in a world where something like that works out, Blake doesn't see anything going in his favor for a long time. In fact, he can't remember the last time he felt like he really caught a decent break, and he needs both hands to count the number of people he's disappointed this year alone.

It hurts to hear her words, especially to think back, and Blake's not quite ready for that. When she disappears into the kitchen, he's quick to his feet.

"No one's gonna complain 'bout you bein' you 'cause you're the nicest person in town," he says on his way to the door. Like a coward, Blake Thomas slips out without even saying goodbye. He can't bring her down, not again. He can't let her down, not again. And on the bright side, he didn't wreck the place or steal anything, and he almost finished a whole meal.

If he could give Darcy everything he would, but he's just not capable enough and he knows he'll do nothing but hold her back.

There's an almost instant regret to getting up when she hears the door, carafe landing in the sink as she bolts after him. It's pure instinct driving her to go after him, needing some sort of closure after opening up like that - something that didn't carry the same sting of rejection.

Out on the street, she brushes her hair out of her face and gives her best authoritative yell to get his attention. "Blake Alexander Thomas! You get your ass back here!" Letting the mask slip for a moment, there's an almost pleading when she tries again. "Blake... Please."

Maybe she should have let him go, should have accepted that for what it was - take it as a clue to move on and let go. If only she were ready to do that. If he doesn't come back now, she wouldn't chase him - wouldn't try and push him to come back no matter how strong the temptation is to try and take care of him. Help him however she can... Because he has to want the help.

It isn't as if he doesn't want to be the kind of person that sticks around. Blake's desperate for a place and he had that once, he really did. At one time Darcy was just what he needed to feel that much more complete and it wasn't like he lost that. No, it's just better that he stays away because she'll never get what she needs from him.

Turning on his heel, he backs away from Darcy with his hands in the air. When he stumbles, he barely rights himself: determination, in this case, is what's keeping him on his feet.

"—sorry, I'm sorry. You know I can't, you know, Darcy, you know," he says, voice thin and near powerless. He hates that this is his life but he'll never crawl out from under all of this, and hell is he's going to drag her down with him. "Just let me go. I'm sorry. Just let me go, Darcy, please..."

And she does. And it hurts.

She doesn't push it though, instead doing the one thing she hates the most with something like this. Letting it go. It's time to accept that there's nothing more she can do for him right now. Rather than wait, she doesn't attempt to hide the tears that start to slip out.

"Never." A beat. "You know where to find me if you ever need anything because I can't just - I can't throw it all away because you don't want -" Me and the help I can give you. But it's time to distance herself. From him, from everything. It was too personal. So, instead the mask slips back on, "My door's always open - either myself or my assistant can help you if you need it - that's what we're here for." And with that she gives him one last look before turning to head back inside, leaving her heart on the sidewalk behind her as a parting gift.

If he ever wanted to pick it up and return it to her, he's more than welcome but she's not gonna be out looking for it anytime soon.

In any city, social workers tend to be aware of one another, and Storybrooke is no exception. Darcy just happens to have the privilege of also having met The Family while one of them accosted her during Damien's morning run during one weekend, but she and Damien found common ground on coffee and the imminent tearability of cheap workout shirts not too long after.

Since then they've struck up something of a friendship based on mutual dislike of the bureaucratic thickets she regularly hacks through and that Damien had gotten a helicopter lift out of at first chance when he became a high school counselor, and meeting her at the diner isn't out of the ordinary, his troupe of dogs in tow, left to play outside.

"Darcy, hey. I thought you were office-bound today?"

It's not one of her goals to meet people in interesting ways, but it definitely makes things more interesting. It wasn't hard to tell when Damien was nearby, giving a small smile to the puppies outside through the window before turning towards their leader.

"Hey, I am - just figured I'd stop by and grab a few things before I got so caught up in work that I forgot. What are you up to?"

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(OPEN) ...Dreaming of what could be

October 27 (before memories come back)

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October 26th; evening

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25th

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