entrancelogs | The three words that best describe you are as follows and I quote (Open)

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The three words that best describe you are as follows and I quote (Open)

Who: Mean and Green Teddy Altman and You
Where: Around Wonderland, destroying Christmas anyway he can
When: December 12-14
Rating: PG-13 for language (Get ready to see some cursing)
Summary: Teddy tried the fruitcake (yes, he likes fruitcake, so sue him). Now, the generally jolly Teddy has turned into a literal Grinch - green and grumpy all over.

The Story:

Teddy Altman loved Christmas, the whole Christmas season
The sights and the sounds, well, it goes without reason
For Teddy was a boy who was jolly all year
And at Christmas, it seemed, all the goodness and cheer
was magnified by three thousand and five
causing everyone around him glad to be alive

Until the day he tried the fruitcake,
With it's chewy bits and nuts
His jolly attitude turned rotten
filled with poison and guts
Now happy Teddy was gone, replaced by someone far meaner
He was grumpy and grouchy, not to mention much greener
For the Grinch had taken over, dark clouds now loomed
Good luck, Wonderland, for your Christmas is now doomed

{OOC: Teddy ate the fruitcake and is now jaded towards everything Christmas. He will be taking down all festive decorations and growling at little kids. He is a mixture of the Grinch and Scrooge. He can be found in his room or wandering around Wonderland, pissing on all the good cheer.}

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While the Grinch was out stealing Christmas, Jack Frost was hunting him down to remind him what Christmas was really about. Not that Loki actually knew much about the subject, mind you, but he knew it was not a time of Prickly the Cranky Green Alien Boy to be picking on tiny versions of their prince in shining armour. Or. Star-studded tights. Either way, his behaviour was unacceptable and Loki would tell him just that.

Aaaaand then he found said Cactus snatching down Christmas garland and ornaments from the halls around his shared room with Billy. "Theodore Altman." Oh yes, you did just get the 'mother' tone, Teddy. From Loki no less. "I do believe you have some grovelling to do with your wonderful, albeit very inappropriately de-aged boyfriend." Look, he used the term instead of 'mate'. Be proud. "Christmas is a holiday of your realm meant to be joyous and heart warming. Do find your cheer and stop frightening small mutant offspring."

Teddy turned, not at all amused by the authoritative tone that Loki used. He crumpled the ornaments he had torn from the wall, letting them shatter into bits onto the floor before stuffing them into the garbage bag he was carrying with him. "Oh, it's you," he said in a rather disgusted voice. "I should have known you'd come scurrying over once Billy tattled on me. Stupid kid, he needs someone to smash those idealistic hopes and dreams he has."

Teddy dropped his bag and stepped towards Loki, growing a bit larger, greener and more muscular. Yes, he was trying to intimidate Loki by his physical size. "It's not even his holiday. Who cares what I say to him? Besides, don't pretend you give a damn about either of us. We both know you'd stab us in the back if given the right opportunity."

He was used to Teddy's hostility, but for some reason, this seemed many times worse. "Come now, Altman, do tell me what you truly feel." Just because he couldn't be hateful didn't mean he couldn't be a mouthy little shit. If anyone could find loopholes in magic spells it would be Loki and you can bet if there are loopholes to be had, he will slip through them.

"Of course he sought me out, Theodore. When you treat him with such hurtful words, he will inevitably seek comfort where he only knows to find it. You are always his first choice, you know that. But you fail to recall he does have another willing to hear him out. Poor boy. He knows not the true you. That you are his everything. Or, you were his everything." Oh my, was he making things worse? Well, that just wouldn't do. "Please. If I had the intent to stab him in the back, I would have done so by now. Is that... why you are doing it for me now? Because you think... it's what's best for him?" Oh dear, he just can't seem to make this right, can he?

He stood his ground to Teddy as the other puffed up like a frog and tried to frighten him. "Look at yourself, Altman. This is hardly the kind boy with the heart of gold we both know and sometimes affectionately tolerate."

Teddy shifted, his arm snaking out and wrapping around Loki's face like a green gag. He smiled, cruel and cold as he pulled Loki close. "Tolerate? Please, I think you're giving yourself far too much credit. You enjoy putting us at odds and watching as we implode, making Billy more vulnerable and easy to manipulate. And you know what? I don't care. He is overly optimistic and I find it disgusting, especially now that he seems to be completely obsessed with Christmas."

He said the word as though it was something vile. "So, unless you have something interesting to say - which I highly doubt - I only have two words for you: Fuck. Off."

Well, Loki certainly didn't expect that. This was likely his first actual experience with the fuller capabilities of Teddy's shapeshifting. Not just turning his arms into weapons, but more. Completely fluid shapeshifting and to be quite honest, Loki was a bit impressed. Though he was gagged, that didn't make him silent. Nor did it make him cooperative. Congrats, Teddy. You caught the slippery snake. Too bad you can't seem to keep him quiet for long.

"You don't mean that. You do care. This right here is proof of that, you know. You may think you're big and threatening, but you're quite transparent." He let out a sigh. Behind Teddy was an image, an illusion. It spoke for Loki, though he was gagged. Even as his hands encircled Teddy's former wrist, he wasn't particularly violent about it. Merely concerned. "Think about what you're saying. You love Kaplan. You would be devastated if something were to happen to him or were he to leave you." You can gag him, Teddy, but you don't have the binding agent to limit his magic.

Teddy rolled his eyes. He should have anticipated that Loki would get the last word in. You couldn't stop him from talking no matter how much you wished he'd put a sock in it. "He is seven," Teddy snorted. "I think he needs to grow up a bit before we can start talking about love or relationships."

He released Loki's mouth, tired of the conversation. "If he's sought you out he's your problem now. Have fun answering all of those fucking insipid questions. I have more important things to do."

He picked up his sack and returned to ripping the decorations off the wall, shoving them into the dark trash bag. Too many decorations and not enough time.

Oh Teddy, dear. You don't turn your back on Loki, be he the Jolly Giant himself or not. He rubbed his jaw, casually popped his neck to ease the tension away, then flicked his wrist with an exasperated sigh. The entire room around Teddy went black. Leaving the two of them standing in a void. No ornaments to distract him, no halls to run down to escape. Just the two of them in a void. Get over it, Rage Monster Jr.

"Problem? We had a lovely time, actually. So bright-eyed and curious. So easily impressed and incredibly endearing. You would see it too if you weren't so busy pushing him away. Theodore. Teddy. What has gotten into you?" Because dammit boy, you aren't acting right at all. You're making Loki defend your relationship when he should be trying to be a dick. It's obviously your fault and has nothing to do with the cider.

Teddy growled in frustration. He dropped the bag and rubbed his forehead. "You know, it is so tempting to punch you right now," he said. "Maybe turn my fist into steel, or stronger and see if I can put a hole through you. But you know what? Physical strength does nothing with you."

Teddy shifted then, his skin rippling and changing before Loki's eyes. Suddenly, it wasn't Teddy in front of him any more. It was Billy, a complete carbon copy that was indistinguishable from the original. Teddy knew every inch of Billy by heart and so it was easy to copy him, down to the last eyelash.

"This is more your style," he said in a eerily Billy voice. "If you're going to use your magic, then why not sample some of mine."

Loki watched quietly, oddly enough for him. The venom and rage there; he knew it all too well but not from Teddy. And for some reason, it bothered him. Not just because the boy was lacking any and all cheer, but because this was so unnaturally wrong. Funny thing, magic. Even blinded by it, he could still tell the feel if it was all wrong.

"It is more my style. Certainly not yours. You're much better than this. Me? I'm the monster and you're the one Billy goes to to find solace. To find true happiness. Me? I'm a poison designed to aid but never to cure. Don't let whatever spell you're under control you." Like a bad hangover, Loki was going to hate himself in the morning. Thank you very much, Theodore.

"Nothing is controlling me. I just finally can see the bullshit around me. I was so stupidly naive to believe that I was anything then a wishy washy door mat. I'm better than that and fuck everyone who wants to convince me that being good and kind is anything other than a weak man's inability to live up to his potential."

He walked over to Loki, Billy's dark eyes strangely bright. Teddy knew that it was wrong. Somewhere in the back of his mind he could feel himself screaming, but this was a side of himself he'd never experienced before. Something that Greg had tried to get him to realize. Teddy just didn't realize how good it made him feel to be so mean.

He reached out to touch Loki's face, his fingertips soft against his skin. "Unlike your illusions, this is real. All of it, down to the last detail. I can be anyone I want and trick the most sophisticated tests. I've done it before, you know. Kind of a neat power, don't you think, God of Tricks?"

"Is that so?" He wanted to be angry with Teddy and rightfully, he wanted to teach the hybrid a lesson in trifling with powers as dangerous as Loki, but something just wouldn't let him. "It's rather amusing that you seem to think you've got any sort of grasp on anything drowning in the very bovine excrements you're piling around."

"It is a very impressive trick, I will give you that. And perhaps it can fool all manner of tests... on Midgard." He smiled, not phased by the touch, but not pulling away, either. "But you are missing a few very important details to make it real." He finally put a hand on Theodore's arm, trying to urge the hand away. "Without these things, your tricks are just tricks, like mine with more expensive tools."

"I might not have his magic but I have everything else," Teddy smirked, keeping his hand on Loki's skin. "Everything else. What's the matter? You don't like him touching you? Something tells me you like it more than you've ever admitted."

He was being an ass, but Teddy didn't care. If he could piss Loki off then he would count it as a win. It would show the stupid trickster that he wasn't someone to fuck with, either. Spoiling his war on Christmas and cheer was enough offense to make Teddy want to ruin Loki's day.

"Something tells me you're projecting." His voice did lower, but he couldn't find the growl there that he usually would have. The snake's poison was all dried up under this spell and he was beginning to feel like something might be off with himself. Then he pushed the thought aside and ignored it.

The unrelenting touch made his unusually cool skin heat slightly and it was that very moment that he wished he could drop the glamour Odin put over him to conceal his Jotun heritage. Instead, he smiled again, unable to keep the kindness from his features despite the bubbling rage. He almost felt cornered under the touch, but he knew he wasn't.

"No, you don't have his magic. But neither do you have his soul, for lack of a better term. You have your own and it's bright and warm." God, this niceness thing was going to kill him. He leaned just a tad closer, whispering. "This. Isn't. You. And you're not Kaplan."

"You sound so pathetic," Teddy laughed, sliding his fingertips down Loki's neck in a soft caress. "You're not Teddy. You're not Billy, either. Wah, wah, wah - were you always this whiney?"

Teddy pressed himself up against Loki, his hands sliding to his waist. "If I am projecting, maybe it's because I want to see what all the fuss is about. I know you kissed him once - well, another you so I guess it doesn't count. But if we're being honest, I'm not entirely feeling myself and Billy is seven. Maybe he'll forgive me..."

He arched his lips towards Loki's, letting them brush softly against the god of michief's own. He curled a hand into a fist and pressed it against Loki's side. Just as Teddy pressed his lips against Loki's, he shifted his hand to form sharp, Adamantium-like claws that buried deep into Loki's side.

"Nah, I'd say that was overrated," he said with a cruel smile.

Loki had been about to quip something, but the words were stolen from his tongue when Teddy pressed against him. He hated to be touched. But at the same time, Teddy wasn't Teddy right now and neither did he look like the halfling. That might have been the only thing that threw him off most. That stopped him from reacting immediately. Or maybe he couldn't say or do anything because he was trapped in a spell of kindness. Whatever the case, those lips brushed his and then he gasped. The sound was short and sharp. As sharp as the claws buried in his side. Asgardian skin was difficult to pierce and though he wasn't of Asgard, the Jotunar were just as resilient. He shouldn't have been surprised that from one non-human to another, Teddy would be able to accomplish it.

The blades made breathing a chore as every breath, every movement sent pain lancing through him. "I think that's the first time you've ever actually caused me harm. I'm impressed." He spoke slowly and carefully so the words didn't come out rushed and choppy. His body was trying to heal around the blades, but couldn't until they were removed. If Teddy even knew he could heal himself at all, he probably knew that as well or the blades would probably be out by now.

"Overrated? How very cruel of you to say so." Yeah, but the blades in the side weren't rude at all. He's actually surprised it took this long. "He will. He'll forgive you."

"You should know," Teddy hissed, his words being spoken in Billy's voice eerie and unnerving. "He should hate you, we both should, and yet here you are."

Teddy twisted his wrist, causing the blades to rip into the fast healing flesh. "I think this is the first time I've ever had the upper hand. Now I know why you enjoy it so much. Being an asshole can be so much fun."

"To be fair, that wasn't--" But his words were choked off as the shifter twisted the blades within him. His knees buckled slightly and he found himself holding onto his assailant for support. He knew better than to fight with multiple blades buried in his torso. The wrong move and they really could be fatal for him in a bad situation. Teddy wouldn't kill him, or so he hoped. But it was currently true that Teddy had the upper hand because Loki wouldn't retaliate. Any other time, he might.

With his divided concentration and redirection of a large portion of his magic, his illusion rippled, losing some stability, but it didn't fade just yet. "It's a rush to be in control, isn't it?" This time the rhythm of his speech was choppy and the words were rushed. Teddy might also notice the drop in temperature around them, generating from Loki himself. It wasn't intentional. The blood that trickled from the wound was icy, leaving frost in its wake. "That rush will poison you, Altman. You're far too pure." If he were any kind of sentimental person, those expressions on Billy's face, those tones in Billy's voice would linger with him every time he'd see young Wiccan. Fortunately, he wasn't. Well, they might have some residual effects...

[ You shouldn't piss on things, Teddy, that's gross. ]

"Why are you green?"

Because really, that's the most important question to be asking here. It comes from a tiny redhead girl standing beside where Teddy is grouchily stripping down garland. Which is strange. The rest of the house is newly decorated. It can't be time to take things down yet.

[Billy blinks looking around the room he doesn't remember his bedroom looking like this, but all his comics are there, and new ones too! He gets up off the couch to look at them and his attention immediately goes to the puppy sleeping in front of the fire. Comic books forgotten he heads over to the dog not noticing the man thats also in the room.]

Whoever had decorated had done an amazing job. The whole place looks stunning, like the decorations that you'd see in movies and on TV, all holly and ivy and proper wreathes. It's about a million miles away from the cheap tinsel and half-hearted Christmas tree that he'd been used to at home.

He finds spots though where the decorations have gone. Which is weird. He's sure the house will fix it soon enough though.

He spots a familiar figure down the hallway and smiles. "Hey, Teddy!"

[Figuratively speaking, of course, although don't put it past grinch Teddy to mark his territory if it keeps people away.]

Teddy stops tearing down the decorations to turn to look at the small girl, her hair in impish red curls. Teddy wrinkles his nose in disgust before he returns to his task.

"Why are you obnoxious?"

[Teddy has been feeling completely off. Th decorations around the room inched their way under his skin and he had to tear them all down. Too much joy, too much happiness - it was obnoxious and needed to be ripped apart. He had begun to fill a giant trash bag with bright, glittering decorations, not realizing that his skin was now an ugly olive shade of green.

The sound of someone moving caught his attention and he turned to see a young boy move towards his dog. His pet!]

Rufus! Come here! Kid, don't touch things that aren't yours!

Teddy tied the last of his trash bags, throwing it in a giant pile before he heard someone call his name. He turned and scowled deeply at Sam. What did he have to be happy about?

"You're far too happy, you know," he grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest. "Let me guess, you're looking for Billy, aren't you?"

"Uh..." He paused uncertainly when Teddy glared at him, his face falling a little bit. Just for a moment though. "Christmas hasn't really happened since the end of the world. It's nice." He shrugged at the question. "I wasn't really looking for anyone. I was just looking around."

"I'm not obnoxious," she tosses back with a condescending lift of her chin and arms crossed over her chest as she scowls at him. "It was just a question. It's not Christmas yet. Why are you taking down the decorations? Isn't that backwards?"

[Billy jumped startled by the shout.] My name isn't kid, it's Billy and the puppy wants to be pet. See. [He reached out and per the dog anyway grinning when it licked him happily. He turned back to the green man and gave him a look as if to say 'seeee'.]

Teddy smirked, keeping the blades buried to the hikt in Loki's side. The fact that his hands froze only made him grin wider. He had hurt him. That fact alone filled him with horrible glee. "Would a pure man use his boyfriends face as he stabs others?" Teddy whispered softly. "There's a darkness in me that no one can see and you were stupid enough to catch me on a bad day."

He let the blades linger a bit longer before he removed them in one swift movement. "Keep that in mind the next time you think to drop me in the pool like a petulant child, ass."

Teddy grumbled before turning to the little girl, a sickeningly sweet smile on his face. "I'm from the Christmas decoration department. These are all broken. I'm taking them down so that I can fix them up and put them back, good as new."

It was a line of bs. If it worked for the Grinch, Teddy hoped it would help him, too.

[Billy? Oh, this was just perfect.]

Traitor. [He growled at Rufus.] What happened to you? Last time I checked my boyfriend wasn't the size of a munchkin.

"Nice," Teddy snorted. "Just another excuse for people to beg for free stuff. People need to learn to help themselves and to stop depending on charity."

He dropped the bag on the ground and crossed his arms over his chest, his frown deepening as Sam's smile was much too bright. "Don't give me that. You are always looking for Billy. I'm beginning to think you're the one who is dating him instead of me. Did you know he's a child now?"

"A pure man under a dark spell, yes." His eloquence seemed to wane slightly, but he still, for some reason, couldn't say anything bad about Teddy. Even if he was certain there would have been some choice words for the shifter. "I should think you're owed a freebie after how I've treated you." Oh look, there he was bending the rules again, said with smile.

But the blades were ripped out and Loki staggered back, catching himself on the wall. The dark leather gained a wet shine as he bled freely. The green fabric accents bloomed with dark ink as the two colours mixed in something unsightly. Way to go, Teddy, he needs to repair his outfit again. He'll bill you later when his sass is working again.

He clutched a hand to his side, focusing his magic to heal. "I thought you enjoyed your play dates in the pool." Still not breaking any magic rules, there. "I will most certainly keep this in mind next time." He offered up another smile, this one was a little twisted. Oh Teddy, you're going to be in so deep when this wears off... They will have words whether he wants it or not.

Sam frowned at him, wary now. "Everything here is free anyway, so I don't see how it matters."

He matched Teddy, whole posture stubborn. "You said you were fine with it. If you didn't- if you'd said something, I would have stayed away. And no, I didn't. I didn't know that."

[Billy raises his eyebrow. Boyfriend? He's seven! ] What? I'm seven, I can't have a boyfriend. And you're green, and mean. i wouldn't have a mean boyfriend. I don't like mean people., you're like the mean boys at school.

Teddy narrowed Billy's eyes at Loki, the claws disappearing as he shifted, the illusion melting away until he was green Teddy once more. He snorted, rolling his eyes at Loki. "I'm shaking in my green little boots," he replied sarcastically. "Now, if you'll excuse me, there is some tinsel that needs tearing down."

He picked up his sack of trash and smirked at Loki, motioning to the dark spot where his claws had cut him. "You might want to take care of that. Unless you want people to know that the Great Big God of Mischief could be taken down by half-breed."

[Teddy rolled his eyes and returned to tearing down all of the ridiculously jolly decorations. Damn, what in the hell was wrong with him? Why would he put up such gaudy, tacky things?]

Listen, pip squeak, I'm not going to argue with you. Like it or not, I'm your boyfriend. Trust me, I'm not too thrilled about it. So do what all good little boys do: shut up and don't speak until you are spoken to.

"It's the principle of the thing," Teddy sighed. "But leave it to you to split hairs."

Nothing about Sam was improving Teddy's temperament. His frown deepened into a scowl, his skin shifting to form a thin layer of armor as if to protect himself from the infectious cheerfulness. He had to tear down Sam's mood just as he had torn down the cheerful decorations and he knew just the right way to do it.

"Oh, please, don't give me that," Teddy snorted. "Did you really buy the whole 'I'm fine with it if Billy is happy' crap? It's called sarcasm. Of course I don't want you to swoop in and steal my boyfriend. Billy is mine and you need to keep your distance."

That scowl made Sam tense up, and he folded his arms defensively over his chest. He wasn't sure what was wrong with Teddy, or maybe this was just how he'd always felt. "Sorry, I try to actually trust people occasionally. But if that's how you feel then... then fine. I won't- I won't be around."

[Wow. Billy was having none of that, thank you very much.]

You're mean and ugly and you would never be my boyfriend. [He yells at Teddy, his tiny hands balling up into tiny fists.]

"You really think that's good enough?" Teddy snorted. "Billy doesn't let people go easily, especially those that have weaseled their way into his affections. I don't want you just to avoid him - I want you to disappear. Pretend he doesn't exist."

A cruel smile spread across Teddy's green face and he seemed to grow bigger, more muscular. "Hurt him," he said. "Or I'll be sure to make your life a living hell to the point where you will wish you were back home."

[Teddy snorted.]

Whatever. Stay out of my way while I'm redecorating. I'm sure there is something for you to do. A comic book or video game or something.

Sam's eyes widened at that, a look of horror crossing his face. "That's horrible. I'm not gonna hurt him on purpose, and if you want to see him hurt, then maybe you don't deserve him!"

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The three words that best describe you are as follows and I quote (Open)

[After his play time with Billy on the 12th]

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