Camille O'Connell (
therapize) wrote in
entrancelogs2015-06-01 11:32 pm
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
Now you know it's a meaningless question to ask if those stories are right
Who: The Wonderland O'Connells (Evelyn and Cami)
Where: The Library
When: June 1st
Rating: PG, PG-13? Talk of vampires and compulsion.
Summary: So Cami's noticed Damon hanging around the library, a lot. Specifically around the librarian. That doesn't always mean good things.
The Story:
The first time Cami spotted Damon in the library, she hadn't thought much of it. The same could be said for the second, and maybe even the third. Yet more and more it seemed like she couldn't venture in there without finding two particular people, only one of whom spent her time shelving books. Of course it left her curious and concerned both, given how erratic Damon's behavior had been since he came back to Wonderland. He was a vampire scorned, something Cami had plenty of experience with, which was why when she came into the library today, she carried with her a small packet of a particular plant along with her books.
Not that she had any evidence Damon was up to something, but as a former victim of compulsion herself? She wasn't going to let the apparent subject of Damon's fascination walk around unprotected.
"Hey there." Of course, the tricky part was talking about this when Damon wasn't around to hear. Fortunately he seemed to be elsewhere today, possibly day drinking given his announcement earlier, giving Cami reason to suddenly be glad for the limitless amount of alcohol they had on tap. She approached Evelyn with a smile, trying to best decide how to broach this. So has the vampire with crazy cheekbones and gorgeous blue eyes been using mind-control on you? felt just a little too blunt for a stranger. Instead Cami shifted the books she carried to one arm, extending her now free hand toward Evelyn. "I'm Cami. You work here, right?"
Where: The Library
When: June 1st
Rating: PG, PG-13? Talk of vampires and compulsion.
Summary: So Cami's noticed Damon hanging around the library, a lot. Specifically around the librarian. That doesn't always mean good things.
The Story:
The first time Cami spotted Damon in the library, she hadn't thought much of it. The same could be said for the second, and maybe even the third. Yet more and more it seemed like she couldn't venture in there without finding two particular people, only one of whom spent her time shelving books. Of course it left her curious and concerned both, given how erratic Damon's behavior had been since he came back to Wonderland. He was a vampire scorned, something Cami had plenty of experience with, which was why when she came into the library today, she carried with her a small packet of a particular plant along with her books.
Not that she had any evidence Damon was up to something, but as a former victim of compulsion herself? She wasn't going to let the apparent subject of Damon's fascination walk around unprotected.
"Hey there." Of course, the tricky part was talking about this when Damon wasn't around to hear. Fortunately he seemed to be elsewhere today, possibly day drinking given his announcement earlier, giving Cami reason to suddenly be glad for the limitless amount of alcohol they had on tap. She approached Evelyn with a smile, trying to best decide how to broach this. So has the vampire with crazy cheekbones and gorgeous blue eyes been using mind-control on you? felt just a little too blunt for a stranger. Instead Cami shifted the books she carried to one arm, extending her now free hand toward Evelyn. "I'm Cami. You work here, right?"
no subject
He did make her dinner, after all.
All that said, she isn't expecting visitors today, let alone ones of any vampire-related stripe. Evelyn looks up from a catalogue sheet at the newcomer and extends her hand appropriately. Not a wholly unfamiliar face, by any stretch, but-
"We haven't properly met. Evelyn, and- yes. I suppose the position is rather self-appointed, but yes. I do work here. Is there something I can help you with, Cami?"
no subject
"Actually, I'm kind of hoping to help you." Cami leans closer; although whispers would do little to stop someone with supernatural hearing from eavesdropping, she at least wants to try and keep this conversation private. "I've noticed this guy seems to be hanging around you a lot; Damon Salvatore. Is he a friend of yours?"
no subject
Evelyn listens, oddly fascinated, by the presumptuous assertion that she needs help, the pleasant smile on her face falling as soon as a name is mentioned. Brow furrowed and conscious of Damon's tendency to lurk in her general vicinity out of some personal desire to assist in the acquisition of books in hard-to-reach places - he could stand to be a little less obvious about keeping an eye on her - Evelyn reminds herself that she isn't a stranger to emotionally-stunted White Knights.
"Ah..."friend" is...a generous term-"
And one she would only apply to those whom she trusts fully.
"-but I am under the impression that he's making a concerted effort for that to be the case. What sort of help do you think I require?"
no subject
Who knows what Damon might have done, or not done, to Evelyn?
"That's actually a pretty loaded question." Based in details that Evelyn may not know, or may not remember outside of Damon's presence--that too she'd suffered, thanks to Klaus. Yet as concerned as she is for the woman beside her, she also doesn't want to betray Damon's trust. He's troubled, going through his own emotional turmoil, and unfortunately possesses the power to act out on those feelings in the worst way possible.
"He and I come from the same world, and I'm pretty familiar with his--type." Men with his personality and vampirism both, to be honest, but it's the latter Cami refers to as she watches Evelyn for any sign that she understands what Cami's getting at. "He's been particularly troubled lately, and given how often I've seen him hanging around you, I just want to be sure that he's not doing anything you don't want him to."
no subject
For all the light it shed it too had its dark corners: an entitled royal cornering her to suggest she join his harem, a blade at her throat before it spilled her across the table, a prone body left for her in a mummy's pose. A man in the shadows, drunk on vodka and his own despair, his teeth sinking into her neck.
"His 'type' being vampiric in nature?" she inquires politely, familiar with the 'couldn't give a damn' variety of gentleman and knowing perfectly well that Cami's insinuation is leaning more toward the supernatural. Flirtatious men, Evelyn can handle.
Frowning, she processes the second suggestion that something untoward is going on and hazards:
"...you must mean that...thing. I can't tell you what happened because I- I can't, but he did something."
no subject
It’s simply necessary, as Evelyn herself proves moments later. Any relief or conflict she might have felt vanishes into ire; she knows this frustration, this helplessness all too well.
“It’s called compulsion.” The corners of her mouth drawn down, she pulls from between her books the plastic bag she’d brought, holding it out Evelyn. Within is a plant, small purple flowers and bright green leaves, a particular herb Evelyn is going to become very familiar with.
“This is vervain, and it will keep him from compelling you.” Moments like these provide temptation to spike every drink in the bar with the stuff, vampire alcoholics be damned. “You can wear it but it’s better to ingest it so they can’t take it off of you. Make sure you have some every day. You can put it in any sort of drink, even water, but it tastes pretty bad so I’d go for coffee or something instead.”
Smoothies tended to be Cami’s drink of choice; she’s got some good mixes in her head.
“What it can’t do is remove any of the commands he’s already given you.” Now things turn tricky again, and she lets out a slow sigh as she broaches the second half of the offer. The vervain would have been handed over regardless, but what she has to reveal next is far less pleasant to endure than a foul taste. “I know someone who can; there is a witch here who can unlock anything he’s made you forget, or undo any restraints he’s put on you.” Including the apparent restriction of speaking of the compulsion at all.
“But you need to know that it’s an agonizing process; the more you’ve been compelled, the longer it takes and the more it hurts. It will work, but having it done is like torture.”
no subject
Drink.
You're also not going to bring any of this up with anyone - ever.
She would have run, to retrieve a gun. She stared blankly at the red oozing from his arm and thought how utterly ridiculous, how did he think he could make her swallow that? In spite of her apprehension Evelyn had quickly found herself pulling his wrist closer and tasting metal as it ran down her throat, simultaneously foul and enthralling and terrifying, ultimately, to realise she couldn't say a single word. He did something. That was really as eloquently as she could put it.
Accepting the little bag of vervain, a common herb with which Evelyn is familiar - too many sprigs grow under the old oaks on the family property in Buckinghamshire - she examines the contents and listens quietly as Cami explains the extent of its protective powers. A religious tea-drinker she is confident she'll be able to mask the flavour with a bit of Earl Grey, and the only caveat appears to be the expected.
She still won't be able to speak on the subject.
Unless she truly wants to.
What Damon compelled her to do, that she can actively remember, was simple and straightforward. If Evelyn did not have the desire to share her story with others for their protection, she wouldn't be in her current predicament.
"I've given birth, there are few tortures that could compare," she remarks, rubbing a small purple flower between her fingertips before glancing back up at Cami.
"...why are you helping me?"
no subject
--and as happened to her before. She grins over at Evelyn, smile tight and humorless. "Because my introduction to the whole world of vampires came when one of them compelled me to forget they existed, except when I was alone with him. I spent weeks thinking I was going out of my mind because my memory would be so hazy, if I remembered those periods at all."
Although in truth that's only part of what Klaus had done to her; far worse than the restriction or his decision to make her his spy had been when he'd stolen her pain. All the loss and regret and burden that came with her brother's death suddenly gone, yet the inexplicable nature of it left her without the peace Klaus had hoped to grant.
"Not to mention that Damon's behavior has been concerning. When he was in Wonderland before, he was more stable. This time, it's like he's spiraling." She shakes her head, considering their few conversations in the recent past. While there have been moments in which Cami's seen that same good she'd found the first time, it feels buried beneath the pain of what he's going through back home. Not to mention that he's forgotten at least one night in Wonderland thanks to booze. In a normal person that would be bad enough; factor in a vampire's hunger for blood and his ability to control people?
It makes him far too dangerous, particularly if he is fixated on Evelyn as Cami suspects.
no subject
...until she actually explains what happened to her.
As the caretaker and resident 'historian' of Wonderland's knowledge, a veritable compendium in her own right, forgetting something is nightmarish. The confusion inherent with compulsion is something she knows, but not to Cami's extent - the discombobulating thoughts and twisted recollections must have disoriented her, blank patches stretching into days, weeks. Has Damon made her forget something? If he had, she certainly wouldn't know.
"He's spiraling?" Evelyn repeats with no small amount of incredulousness, not having witnessed anything of the like in person, save at the unfortunate event of their first meeting. Then instability had been palpable then, but he has since appeared to come into his own as a semi-responsible immortal who is very good at pretending that he doesn't care.
"He hasn't acted that way, he's been...oddly helpful."
no subject
Still, it’s clear that Evelyn’s had more contact with him. Even with the very real possibility she might be compelled, distorting her perception or memory of events, Cami’s still interested in what she has to say. “Helpful how? Putting books back on shelves, or something else?”
She leans forward, honestly curious. Something in the behavior could reveal a vital piece of information that Cami’s missed while she’s watched from a distance.
no subject
To an extent.
"He seems to have taken 'library assistant' to heart, fetching and re-shelving items without complaint, he tends to be fairly punctual, he catalogued artefacts from my dig site. He's actually begun reading a great deal more in his own time to engage in voluntary discussion, he, ah- he made dinner for me, not long ago?"
Being someone with rudimentary cooking skills at best, Evelyn has learned to appreciate the culinary arts and those who excel in them. Returning the conspiratorial lean, she lowers her voice:
"Between us, I think his protective streak is several kilometres wide. A little tiresome, but I've handled worse."
no subject
“Wow. So he likes you.” To what extent has yet to be seen, but doesn’t it make so much sense? Damon’s agony had been caused by the loss of not one, but two women who had chosen his brother over him. Of course, there’s still reason to be concerned; Evelyn has no way of knowing all that might have been done to her, be it a loss of memory or a twisting of her perception of events—or even nothing at all, aside from whatever it is she can’t speak of.
So she shakes her head, leans back a bit in her chair. “If it helps, I don’t think he’s a bad guy? He can be, but—he’s more lonely than anything else. He’s the type who doesn’t let many people in, and when he’s hurt, he recoils in spectacular fashion. If he acts like the monster he believes everyone else sees him as, then one day he might become that and stop hurting. After all, monsters aren’t supposed to feel anything.”
But Damon clearly does—just like Klaus.
“With you, though, it seems like he’s leveling off, which is definitely a good thing. And I’m not saying avoid him at all costs or anything like that. Honestly, some of the people I’m closest to back home are vampires.” The ones that leave her with the most complicated feelings. “For as cruel and horrible as he can be, I know he’ll never hurt me. Damon might see you in a similar light—if what you’ve described is the truth. But there’s only one way to be sure of that.”
Her eyes drift down to the packet of vervain which would ensure Evelyn remain compulsion-free in the future, although they both clearly know that Cami’s referring to the other part of the offer.
no subject
Her reticence toward making new friends with cannibalistic qualities should therefore be understandable, no matter how many well-meaning gestures the person in question makes toward her safety. Damon lent her his jacket in the frigid hallways of the facility in Greenland and rarely ventured from her side, but there is a distinct difference between kindly concern for someone who gets cold easily, and a mild obsession with the first soft, warm person you encountered after being rejected by the woman you loved.
Even in lamenting the death of her own inherent trust in others Evelyn can see the merit that lies with scepticism, with wariness. Damon is lonely. He couldn't be more obvious about it if he stood up on a soapbox and declared it in front of the entire Wonderland population.
But her sympathies have burned her before, and she is tired of bandaging herself up.
"You...said that compulsion removal was possible, I'm not...I'm not opposed to it. I want it lifted."
no subject
She hasn’t. More to the point, there’s only so much blame she can assign for that.
“Okay. I’ll get in touch with my friend; her name’s Davina.” Because there’s a chance that Evelyn might have already met her. Cami has her phone out a moment later to send a text message. “We should go someplace private. Damon hasn’t been invited into my room or my office if you’re comfortable heading to either of those? I would say we could go to an empty room, but if he finds us, there’s no rule of ownership keeping him out.”
And while Damon has apparently been behaving himself, Cami would rather avoid the confrontation that goes with him tracking down his obsession only to find whatever commands he’s put into her head being unraveled.
no subject
This would be simple, if there weren't so many hidden clauses in the contract.
Looking down at her work and then the speedy messaging that the woman across from her partakes in Evelyn's recent, diligent wariness has her gripping the verbena plant before interjecting:
"...I'm sorry, but how do I know that I can trust you? Your friend? With the recent bevy of residents committing all manner of atrocities, I can't-"
Here the words catch in her throat, trapped between a desire to reach out and the experiences of being burned.
"I can't take people at face value. Not anymore."
no subject
"You don't. We've just met, and I've swooped in offering a magical solution to a problem you knew you had, but possibly not to what extent." Honestly, the situation has the "too good" cliche painted on it with neon colors. "Anyone I could offer to vouch for my character or Davina's would be tainted by the source, and the people you would believe may have fallen for the same potential facade, provided we have any mutual acquaintances at all."
Really, it's all too easy to spell out the reasons to be wary; the words that fear would whisper as it wrapped its arms around Evelyn's heart to claim her for itself. Cami glances down, looking at the way the other woman holds to that plant, a miracle cure for what ails her in some aspects--although now, as Cami realizes, not the one that matters most.
She still grins as she goes on, but only just.
"I know what it's like: to have someone you love, someone you're bonded to suddenly become a monster." Her eyes close, and for a moment her breathing turns shaky. With everything that's happened with the Winchesters, it's been impossible not to dream of Sean and Kieran these days. "To intimately know just how possible it is for a good, decent person to turn on a dime, whether it's because they've always been lying or something made them change--either way, that sort of experience would make it difficult to trust anyone.
"But for all the pain that can potentially come with it, I don't think you want to stop believing that people as a majority want to be good." Not when she apologies for her lack of trust, or has to force out her conclusion despite the valid justification for it. "And I'd be lying if I claimed to be saying this without trying to convince you, at least in part, but I also think it goes beyond right now. You've been hurt, and you're afraid of it happening again, because it absolutely could. But they can still take away something else from you: the part of you willing to trust, to believe that people want to be kind rather than cruel."
no subject
Evelyn is not a fearful person, and neither does she permit fear to envelope her unless it does so without her consent. When she is afraid, it because she allowed herself to be. Things and people may frighten or threaten, but true fear is what drags her from sleep at night, settles deep in her lungs and constricts as it knows not the fate of her son and family, a world away. True fear speaks through a shriveled mouth over a sandy tongue and whispers words meant to harm her and others.
What Hannibal Lecter did inspired no fear in her; by the time she had come to her own conclusions about him and what he was capable of she no longer sensed a threat in the shadows - awareness of the enemy's shape affords a greater chance of success in confrontation. Evelyn knows monsters, Hannibal was only a human playing at the role. More monstrous than those deeds was the deception from parties that cut her deeper than the doctor's knife, a lack of trust in her that now hinders spontaneity, refuses to accept kindlier gestures as they are.
Not out of immediate concern for her well-being, simply conscious of the fact that she has suffered at other's hands for being too open and expecting the same when she had no right to do so. Evelyn considers how relieved her husband might be to know that her more recent leaps have been preceded by long, careful looks.
What hurts more than anything is a bone-deep exhaustion, a weariness she cannot combat because she hasn't the weapons. Almost four years, and she carries others carefully, wears the optimism like Athena's shield and helps, because she has been here for so long. Because she must.
Almost four years, and she is tired and concerned that it might be selfish to ask for something in return.
"...you must practise psychiatry," she says quietly, a small smile tugging on the edges of her lips.
no subject
“Room twenty on the sixth floor.” Of course she won’t deny it, although Cami is quite aware of the reputation the last notable psychiatrist in Wonderland now carries. “Considering that the only other person who seemed to be practicing here was Hannibal Lecter, it seemed prudent to put something together for people who weren’t interested in getting therapy from a cannibal.”
Hannibal hadn’t murdered her, but he hadn’t needed to; the snide judgement he flung at Cami had been more than enough to earn her disdain even before she’d figured out who he was.
But it also isn't what matters most at the moment, and she lets out a slow breath. As much as she doesn't want to veer too far from the original topic, Cami also doesn't think that weariness she can see in Evelyn's smile is something to be brushed aside without concern.
"I'm sorry for whatever it is you've been through," because that much, at least is clear to her. That sort of fatigue doesn't come naturally, but rather after a person has been worn down to a point where they simply can no longer stand. "Like I said, I know you have no reason to trust me. So you set the terms--tell someone you do trust where you're going, or invite them to come too. You pick the time and the place. Whatever helps you feel comfortable with this, I'm willing to go with."
Because it is far less important to Cami that she be the one to plan the details--both for the decompulsion, and whatever else Evelyn might want to see her for.
wrong account but
no subject