Krampusjail Pajama Party | OPEN

[vitaelamorte]

Who: All of the Prisoners of the Krampus.
Where: Some unground dungeon that definitely wasn't here before all this started.
When: All event
Rating: PG - R, depending on exactly how naughty your characters have been.
Summary: Catch-all log for Krampusjail shenanigans throughout the event! So you were a bad person and got yourself tossed into Krampusjail in the middle of the night - now what?
The Story:

If your character is someone who could be considered “naughty” or “a terrible human being” for whatever reason then they may be visited by the Krampus this Ewaymas. For the first day they will hear chains rattling intermittently throughout the day, and only they (and others the Krampus has targeted) will be able to hear these chains. Then, that night, when they're trying to sleep, the Krampus will come for them in the middle of the night. He will then proceed to smack them around with birch branches and shove them into a woven basket and carry them away. The naughty character in question will find themselves thrown into a dark dungeon (in a place that looks suspiciously like the caves and tunnels of Wonderland, but far enough down that no one can hear them). There are multiple cells though, so they may have some company in Krampusjail. The Krampus will occasionally come by like a horrible jailer to hit them with his birch switch and get them to admit their wrongdoings and atone for them, but otherwise they will be left alone to think about what they've done. For food, they will have water brought to them and small baskets of adorably horrifying bread in the Krampus' likeness. If a character starts to show that they really regret their behavior and that they're really sorry, whether the Krampus is there or not, the door will swing open and they will be released early. If they lie about how sorry they are or they refuse to apologize, they will have to serve their full sentence – which will be three to five days, depending on exactly how naughty they've been.

Since the maximum sentence is five days, put the dates your character will be in Krampusjail in the subject of your top level, so others will know whether their characters will be jailed at the same time or not! If you have questions, please direct them to The Event's FAQ thread. Prose or [Brackets] are more than welcome!

Comments

[wriggedywrecked]

I've been working on how to get out of here, but there's basically n-nothing I can do with so little to work with, and I can't e-even think straight--

[He pulls at his hair and makes a kind of snarling sound.]

I need a drink, Morty, I haven't been th-this close to sober in decades, my mind needs alcohol to function properly...

[onetruemorty]

[ ...oh, that's right. He may be pantsless, confused and agitated, but Rick is boozeless, basically knows exactly what's going on, can't do anything about it, and is also agitated. Particularly agitated. More than he usually is about stuff. This is an issue that Morty doesn't try to get all morally high-road about, because Rick's literally been buzzed or worse since the first day they met. And it isn't like he forgot the things that Birdperson said about it.

Even if he had, sobriety and helplessness are looks that no sane person wants to witness on Rick Sanchez.

So that's enough to take a solid part of the wind out of his sails, at least. He's not exactly calm or happy, and resigning himself to the situation isn't going to set in for a little while yet. Still, less shrill is a decent starting point. ]

Sorry, Rick. I wish there was something we could- could do about that, too, you know?

[wriggedywrecked]

[If Rick were being honest with anyone, himself included, he's actually terrified of being sober. He hasn't been sober in a lot longer than Morty really knows, and facing it after all this time--while imprisoned and unable to do a thing about it--is pretty much the worst thing that could happen, dying included.]

['Don't think about it' is great advice for when you're drunk, but it's useless for when your sober. Especially for a mind like Rick's. Sobriety means not being able to not think about it.]

You can ferment bread, right? Maybe we can make toilet wine. Shitbucket wine.

[onetruemorty]

Rick, that's gross. I mean, m-maybe not the bread part, but-- I don't know anything about fermenting. Doesn't it take a while? Wh-what if you need the bucket later?

[ On a diet that's all fiber and water. But then again, maybe he won't. Like, Morty doesn't plan on using a shitbucket unless there are no other options and he also might die. People do the same thing when they go on vacation. ]

[wriggedywrecked]

Shit, I hate when you're right. Fermentation takes too l--wait! W-Wait! Some kinds of bread molds are hallucinogens. Shit. Shit, that could work. Yes. I just need bread and a bit of water.

[Yes he is now grabbing his shitty bread and dripping some water on it fuck YES.]

In this d-dank-ass dungeon mold will grow in like twenty-four hours! Fuck, it's, it's basic elementary school science project bullshit and it's gonna save our lives, Morty! We're gonna survive, Morty!

[onetruemorty]

Yeah, that's great, Rick. [ So much desperate science, so little time. But if it's true and the mold thing works out, he guesses that's at least one less awful meltdown in their future in here. Sometimes that's all a guy can hope for. Hope wanes freshly with every new moment. ]

I'm pretty sure moldy bread isn't gonna save me from anything, but I think a lot of this bread's just gonna sit around and get moldy anyway. So you might as well, I guess you might as well try to do something with it. If it helps.

[wriggedywrecked]

Y-Your loss, Morty. [He's staring at the damp bread like maybe it's gonna grow mold right before his eyes.] I-I-I don't know how people get through bullshit situations without some kind of m-uURURRHHhhHH-ind altering substance.

[onetruemorty]

I dunno. I mean, you get used to having to deal with crazy situations eventually, probably? There's just not a lot else regular, everyday people can do about it, Rick. [ Or perhaps more accurately, "don't think about it." But that's one of the greater-known Rick Rules of being around the universe without completely losing your shit. ]

[wriggedywrecked]

M-Morty, if you're still talking, I stopped listening after "I dunno."

[GROW FASTER, MOLD.]

[onetruemorty]

Jeez. People say stuff about watched pots never boiling, right? [ This week, on: Things Only Jerry Has Probably Said to Him. ] Unless some, some kinda magic mold grows on this bread.

[wriggedywrecked]

Oh shit, you think it might be magic mold? Fuck. Magic hallucinogenic mold, I bet I could market that.

[onetruemorty]

Anything could be magic around here. I-it's kind of ridiculous how magical everything could maybe be. But I guess that's kinda what you have to expect out of Wonderland. Look, just, try to be careful with whatever starts growing on that, that's all I'm saying.

[ He just doesn't wanna go on a ridiculous horror-filled Wonderland quest for magic mold antidotes tbh. ]

[wriggedywrecked]

Morty, I'm always careful. I'm just gonna eat some magical bread mold and be super goddamn careful about it.

[onetruemorty]

Boy, Rick, that doesn't sound careful at all. But- but I don't know everything. You know? Maybe you've eaten worse stuff. Maybe a week from now w-we won't even really remember that you did this.

[wriggedywrecked]

I'm fucking banking on not remembering this, M-Morty.