OPEN | well, i don't know where they come from but they sure do come

[circlejerked]

Who: Everyone and some adorable, rolly polly, purring kittens.
Where: Ballroom.
When: April 4th.
Rating: PG? It's kittens, how bad can it get.
Summary: As advertised, Anders wished for some kittens, now there are kittens, please adopt a kitten, kittens everywhere.

The Story:

<sub>[In the ballroom with plenty of space for them to romp around, Anders and Alistair set the kittens loose.

When he'd been thinking about them, Anders had had a particular image in his mind: a bunch of kittens sitting in a padded wicker basket like something out of a graphic illustration or inspired by a toilet paper brand. Who wouldn't find that adorable? That's exactly what he'd gotten, and exactly what they load the kittens up in to move them downstairs. Once the basket is deposited in the center of the room, some stay napping in its cushioned confines, others tumble out to explore.

Anders takes the time to bring up food, water, and litter. After some internal debating, he scatters some cat toys around the room, too. Welcome to Wonderland's one and only kitty daycare, for a limited time only!]

(OOC: Don't worry about threading with Anders or Alistair if you want to join in just for kittens. Consider this a mingle log where you can make your own posts, tag around, etc.)</sub>

Comments

[circlejerked]

<sub>[Aha, she's nibbling on the bait. Now just to get her to bite and let the purring cat do the rest.

He'll make cat lovers out of this motley crew of Wonderland residents yet.]</sub>

Lots of things! You can train them to scratch people you don't like. They hunt vermin so you'll never have an infestation problem. And they can sense ghosts.

_{[When they stare blankly into corners for no discernible reason, they could be sensing ghosts.]}

Plus, it's impossible to be in a bad mood when you have a warm, purring feline curled up in your lap. They make that sound when they're happy.

[slapfight]

[she was about to ask about that sound because it sounded- to her- a little disconcerting.] Hhuh. So that's what that sound is...I thought its components were malfunctioning.

[she can definitely see the advantage of having a creature that can defend her.] I guess it could have its uses...

[circlejerked]

_{[Components? That's oddly endearing in a really weird way, like she's picturing the kittens as small machines with rusty gears.]}

Are you used to small animals having "components"? I can guarantee these ones are all natural.

_{[Flesh, blood, and full of curiosity. They don't have any problems circling around Peridot in a chorus of high-pitched meows, waiting to see who next among them will be picked up and pampered.]}

[slapfight]

I'm not used to "animals." [they're manufactured inorganic rock people, who apparently don't understand the wonders of furry pets.]

Except cows, which, according to Garnet, are terrible. And I'm inclined to take her word on that.

[circlejerked]

Clearly.

_{[Tone laughing, one of his eyebrows climb higher on his forehead.]}

Cows' milk is delicious, but I'm inclined to agree that they don't make the best choice of domesticated pet. You can pet them, but I don't think they'd appreciate being picked up and put in your lap, if they could even fit. Cats are a better place to start.

_{[And now for the obvious question that he's been dying to ask--]}

So where do you come from? You obviously aren't a member of the human community.

[slapfight]

[why would anyone put a cow on their lap. they would be crushed. you are so strange, mister.]

Obviously. I'm a gem. I come from the gem Homeworld. [yes, that's... what it's called. meanwhile, the cat has decided to start climbing up her legs.]

[circlejerked]

_{[He tries, Peridot, he tries.]}

A gem?

_{[The only thing this brings to mind is, well, the rock-type gem, and that has him looking bemusedly at Peridot while cats try to use her as a climbing tree. She sort of does fit the part of a talking rock.]}

Like... the mineral?

[slapfight]

Affirmative.

[is there supposed to be more of an explanation than that?? WE'RE SENTIENT MAGICAL ROCKS.] At least in overly simplified terms.

[circlejerked]

_{[The look on Anders' face says it best: yes, there should be an explanation. A brief synopsis, at the very least. An informative haiku?]}

What are the complicated terms? _{[A thought suddenly seems to strike him.]} Ooh! Does that mean you're... emerald? Jade? No, those aren't quite the right shade of green...

[slapfight]

[oh god look at her turn blue-violet] Oh my stars, no. Emeralds are gem aristocrats. I'm just a worker-class gem- a designated technician.

A Peridot. [The only Peridot here, actually, so with a bit more pride, she adds.] I'm Peridot. That's me.

[circlejerked]

<sub>[Anders blinks when her cheeks flush with the delightful hue of a hypothermic corpse, cats momentarily forgotten. What's happening right now? Did he make her angry? Is she like a mood ring that changes colors?

Only after a few beats does he realize she might be embarrassed.]</sub>

Well, you look emerald to me.

_{[He's still unsure if that's the correct sort of compliment one makes to a sentient stone, but to be fair, Peridot is his first one.]}

Peridot. That has a nice ring to it. I'm Anders. An Anders, but certainly the best one I know.

[slapfight]

[HAHAHAHAHAHA... yep. she's embarrassed.] Emeralds are... darker. But thank you.

[what the clodding clod is this?? compliments??? proof of her worth???

the kitten has made its way into her hair and pokes its head out, probably curious to why Peridot keeps chuckling awkwardly.] I haven't met any other Anderses, so I can only take your word for it.

[circlejerked]

_{[Oh, bless Wonderland for making these encounters possible.]}

And I haven't met a sentient gem, so I suppose that makes us both exemplars of our kind. _{[He reserves a smile for the kitten making a climbing tree out of her.]} That one seems to like you already and cats are excellent judges of character. Already you've got one making a seat of honor out of your head--you're a natural.

_{[See? Squishy mammals aren't so scary now, are they?]}

[slapfight]

Hhuh. [she looks up and is greeted to the kitten patting her visor above her gem and meowing plaintively. want the shiny, green lady. want it.

it found her vital weak point. oh no.] ...Hngh. [she plucks it out of her hair with a panicked expression.] Well, I can't leave it here, now that it's probably capable of tracking me wherever I go. I have to keep it where I can see it.

[circlejerked]

_{[This looks like true love between rock and cat if he's ever seen it.]}

I think it's saying it agrees.

_{[Or it needs to pee, or it's just poking at her for the sake of poking at her. Either/or. He doesn't bother letting her know that kittens probably aren't so nefarious as to be able to hunt her down like homing pigeons.]}

Good idea. Best not to fight the bonding process or you'll hurt its feelings. Since you haven't cared for one before, I could show you the basics if you like. For the most part they take care of themselves so long as they're fed and watered.

[slapfight]

... I think I can figure it out. I understand the basic functions of organic lifeforms, even if they're inconvenient and disgusting.

[or not and Dipper will have to help her, but for the most part she's only accepting this animal into her life because otherwise it might murder her in her sleep. she looks down at the adorable-yet-potentially-deadly creature in her arms and gives it a warning look.] Let's go, clod.

[circlejerked]

_{[Strangely enough that... doesn't inspire Anders with a whole lot of confidence.]}

Disgusting? Really? That's what you see when you look at these kittens?

_{[Is Anders sending this poor creature off to live a life of neglect and abuse? Suddenly he's not so sure. This is starting to look more and more like a questionable idea on both of their parts.]}

Could you... I don't know, uh. Maybe not call it "clod"?

[slapfight]

[she glances down. the kitten looks back at her. some of her resolve breaks.] ...Well, no. It is a... aesthetically pleasing tiny apex predator.

[the kitten mews appreciatively at the compliment, which only makes her fluster more. now she really doesn't want to give it back.]

And I meant, uh... Claude. [she's pretty sure she heard that name on Camp Pining Hearts.] It's Canadian.

[circlejerked]

<sub>[Apex predator? Uh...

But maybe... let's not say anything about that. She looks like she's starting to reconsider calling felines repulsive and he doesn't want to ruin the moment. The clash of inorganic vs. organic is still on the weird side--the extremely weird, vaguely concerning side--but her hesitation is... a good sign? Probably?

Who really knows, Anders sure doesn't.]</sub>

Glad you're warming up to them. You had me worried there for a minute.

_{[Is there a difference between clod and Claude? Because he doesn't hear one.]}

Right... Canadian. _[Squint.] Well, I wish you two all the best. Don't hesitate to ask if you run into, uh, problems.

_{[Like the first time the cat has a bowel movement and someone needs to clean it up.]}