open } i've been better with the things i've said when i took the lead instead of being led

[krmvgivv]

Who: Dipper Pines and anyone who likes lurking in caves like a creeper
Where: the caves
When: 4/4 shortly after the event
Rating: PG-13ish probably
Summary: Dipper has been here for a year. He is not taking it extremely well.
The Story:

When Dipper wakes up with his emotions back on, he has to shut his eyes and swallow hard to keep them all from overwhelming him. He doesn't want to cry. He doesn't want Mabel to see him cry because while he knows she'd understand, he doesn't want her to have to carry that weight.

It's been a year.

It had been so easy not to care. The event had been so well timed, he'd barely had a flicker of panic before he shut his emotions off entirely and suddenly it didn't matter so much. But now no matter how hard he tries, the emotions are still there, threatening to overwhelm him. A year. And he's no closer to solving the mysteries of Wonderland than he was when he started. A year and three months since he's seen his parents, whose names he can't even remember thanks to this place.

It takes him a moment, but once he has himself under control again he wipes his face on his pillow and sits up, muttering some excuse to Mabel as he walks out of the room. He makes his way to the caves as fast as he can. It's where he always goes to be alone with his thoughts, and right now... he really wants to be alone with his thoughts. He finds a rock and sits down, pulling out a notebook. He turns on his flashlight and flips to the first page.

July April 1, 2012(?)

I've found myself in a strange world that I don't think even the author's visited. Or if he has, he didn't write about it in his journal. That means it's up to me to record everything I see and chronicle the mysteries of this place! Everyone says we're stuck here forever, but also that people go home sometimes, so I'm not worrying too much.

From what I've gathered, this place is Wonderland, like in the book. It's a pocket dimension, and time works differently out in the real world, so it's unclear if anyone will even notice I'm gone. More summer vacation for me, right?

I have a lot more reading to do. Evelyn, the librarian, has so many notes! But, of course, I'll be transcribing some of my own in here. This place might be even weirder than Gravity Falls!

More summer vacation. Dipper even misses going to school now. He shuts the book and throws it against the wall of the cave, curling his arms around his legs and leaning his head on his knees. He was supposed to have found a way out by now. He was supposed to be nearing 14, not still stuck at 12. He wasn't supposed to have died twice and somehow befriended a psycho killer who might make it three times any day now. It wasn't supposed to be this hard.

"Get it together, Dipper," he mutters to himself, squeezing his eyes tightly. "You can't hide in here all day." And it's not all bad here! He's got all his family, and the mysteries of this place still fascinate him, and there are friends he'd never have met if he hadn't shown up here. Non-psycho killer friends.

Tomorrow, he knows all those things will matter and he'll be able to face live again. Keep on going. Keep on being totally capable of handling this. Like a mature teen, not some little kid. But he's been fighting it and fighting it and just for today, he can't keep control anymore.

Maybe he'll just stay here for a little longer.

Comments

[slapfight]

[she looks up from where she's entertaining herself with the cat, blinking.] I thought they were just accessories for the distinguished.

[peridot no]

[krmvgivv]

[Oh my god. Poor Claude.]

Nope. They're living, breathing, pooping creatures.

[slapfight]

[uuuuuugh.] It didn't inform me of any of this when it decided to latch onto me.

[she makes an unfortunate sound.] It must be some sort of parasite.

[krmvgivv]

[How can he put this so Peridot will understand?]

More of a symbiotic relationship. [Dipper moves forward and picks up the kitten, holding him out in front of Peridot.] Pet it.

[slapfight]

[she hesitates for a second and then slowly reaches over to touch Claude's head jerking back when he nuzzles into her hand.] That sound again. The human who gave him to me said it was... a purr. It means he's happy.

[she shudders.] It still just sounds like he's broken to me.

[krmvgivv]

[Dipper holds out the kitten insistently.] You have to hold him to get the full effect.

[slapfight]

[hnnngh. she takes a second to consider this, because she still isn't certain the cat isn't going to just explode or something and this is all a ruse, but she can't give in to her fear, so she takes him in her hands and tries to figure out a way to hold him that isn't awkward. Claude meows in aggravation and claws his way up to her shoulder, prompting some yells of protest from her and a lot of full body cringing, but once he's settled on her shoulder, the purring commences and he begins rubbing his head against her cheek.]

Uhhhhh.....

[she flusters a bit, an awkward laugh escaping her.] Is... this normal?

[krmvgivv]

Yep. Not so bad, right? [Dipper reaches over to scratch Claude behind the ears.] For humans, that kind of affection can be comforting sometimes.

[slapfight]

You mean because this cat is a lifeform that is absolutely required to give you attention? [hhuh...] Yes, I suppose I can see how that would be a symbiotic relationship. You take care of it and it, in turn, rewards your efforts with much needed validation of your worth.

[krmvgivv]

...sure. [He will never let Peridot and Mabel talk cats. She probably would not approve of Peridot's attitude. But she's not... wrong.]

Also it's fuzzy and cute. Some people like that in a lifeform.

[slapfight]

Don't call him cute. It's demeaning. [yes project onto the cat a little why don't you peridot, but at least she's becoming defensive of her kitten's pride, rather than assuming he's her servant.

she holds the cat up to her face.] You're not cute at all. You're an extremely lethal force of nature. Your size and pleasing appearance are merely to keep all who challenge you from understanding your true power.

[claude yawns. yeah sure peridot. whatevs.]

[krmvgivv]

[Dipper tries very hard not to laugh.]

All right then, he's doing a very good job hiding his lethal nature. My bad.

[slapfight]

[she realizes that here is normally where... gratitude is shown, but that's so hard, so she struggles for a moment with it.]

Th... thank you. [she clears her throat.] For the information.

[he filled gaps in her knowledge. there's nothing more to it than that.]

[krmvgivv]

No problem. [Dipper gives a half smile.] If you have more cat questions, you can let me know.