open } i've been better with the things i've said when i took the lead instead of being led

[krmvgivv]

Who: Dipper Pines and anyone who likes lurking in caves like a creeper
Where: the caves
When: 4/4 shortly after the event
Rating: PG-13ish probably
Summary: Dipper has been here for a year. He is not taking it extremely well.
The Story:

When Dipper wakes up with his emotions back on, he has to shut his eyes and swallow hard to keep them all from overwhelming him. He doesn't want to cry. He doesn't want Mabel to see him cry because while he knows she'd understand, he doesn't want her to have to carry that weight.

It's been a year.

It had been so easy not to care. The event had been so well timed, he'd barely had a flicker of panic before he shut his emotions off entirely and suddenly it didn't matter so much. But now no matter how hard he tries, the emotions are still there, threatening to overwhelm him. A year. And he's no closer to solving the mysteries of Wonderland than he was when he started. A year and three months since he's seen his parents, whose names he can't even remember thanks to this place.

It takes him a moment, but once he has himself under control again he wipes his face on his pillow and sits up, muttering some excuse to Mabel as he walks out of the room. He makes his way to the caves as fast as he can. It's where he always goes to be alone with his thoughts, and right now... he really wants to be alone with his thoughts. He finds a rock and sits down, pulling out a notebook. He turns on his flashlight and flips to the first page.

July April 1, 2012(?)

I've found myself in a strange world that I don't think even the author's visited. Or if he has, he didn't write about it in his journal. That means it's up to me to record everything I see and chronicle the mysteries of this place! Everyone says we're stuck here forever, but also that people go home sometimes, so I'm not worrying too much.

From what I've gathered, this place is Wonderland, like in the book. It's a pocket dimension, and time works differently out in the real world, so it's unclear if anyone will even notice I'm gone. More summer vacation for me, right?

I have a lot more reading to do. Evelyn, the librarian, has so many notes! But, of course, I'll be transcribing some of my own in here. This place might be even weirder than Gravity Falls!

More summer vacation. Dipper even misses going to school now. He shuts the book and throws it against the wall of the cave, curling his arms around his legs and leaning his head on his knees. He was supposed to have found a way out by now. He was supposed to be nearing 14, not still stuck at 12. He wasn't supposed to have died twice and somehow befriended a psycho killer who might make it three times any day now. It wasn't supposed to be this hard.

"Get it together, Dipper," he mutters to himself, squeezing his eyes tightly. "You can't hide in here all day." And it's not all bad here! He's got all his family, and the mysteries of this place still fascinate him, and there are friends he'd never have met if he hadn't shown up here. Non-psycho killer friends.

Tomorrow, he knows all those things will matter and he'll be able to face live again. Keep on going. Keep on being totally capable of handling this. Like a mature teen, not some little kid. But he's been fighting it and fighting it and just for today, he can't keep control anymore.

Maybe he'll just stay here for a little longer.

Comments

[littledhampir]

With a dramatic roll of your eyes. "That's because your sister probably reads crappy romance books made for people who don't know any different." Tone so dry. "F-Y-I. Real Vampires don't sparkle."

[krmvgivv]

"Again, we work for a vampire, I know." Dipper rolls his eyes. "And we're currently living in a fairytale, remember? If a sparkly vampire shows up? I wouldn't be that surprised."

[littledhampir]

Well that's one way to derail her narrow-minded vampire train. "That's a terrifying thought..."

She regards Dipper for a quiet moment, head cocked to one side.

"You kinda just, roll with this place. don't you?" Better than she does at least. Though, that wouldn't be hard.

[krmvgivv]

"I've been here over a year. You get used to it." He shrugs a shoulder. "Besides, my summer had already been pretty insane before I got here. I'm not sure Wonderland even qualifies as the weirdest part of it, though it's definitely ranking as the longest."

[littledhampir]

"Over a year." One day she'll stop repeating everything that other people say but then maybe, one day. Things about Wonderland will stop surprising her.

"Don't you... wanna go home?" Honestly she's wondering how the hell somebody as young as him can cope without having his family around. Though she supposes... "Your sister here, probably helps I'm guessing."

Not ignoring the weird factor but focusing more on the time, for now.

[krmvgivv]

"Of course I want to go home." He's been huddling in a cave having a breakdown because he's so happy in Wonderland, obviously. "She does too despite her... tendency to look on the bright side of things." And despite her fears about the apocalypse. She might not be as eager to go home as Dipper is for that reason, but she doesn't really love Wonderland. It's brought them too much pain.

"But yeah, having her here, and my great uncles, and... Soos. It makes it better." But mostly Mabel. If she wasn't here, he wouldn't be able to handle Wonderland at all.

[littledhampir]

You didn't actually expect Rose to be perceptive enough to realize you were having a meltdown did you Dipper? Still, his words do seem to sway her, at the very least as far as his sister is concerned. She still... doesn't get the scrapbook thing but it's at least nice to know she's not delusional like some people.

"That's a lot of people from home..." And that's a definite note of envy in her voice.

[krmvgivv]

"Yeah, I guess." He glances over at her. "You... don't have anyone? I didn't when I first showed up. They could still show."

[littledhampir]

She shakes her head. "It's probably better this way." Logically, she even thinks that's probably true. That doesn't mean she doesn't wish.

"Plus it's not like we can choose who comes here anyway. I'd probably get somebody I can't stand." She may, or may not be thinking about Jesse or Mia right now.

[krmvgivv]

"Yeah, that can definitely happen." Dipper's been pretty lucky. He's got his family. He's also had to deal with demonic triangles and Gideon. "I hope you get to see your people again, though. I mean, it'd be better for it to be because you went home, not because they showed up here but I know it can get lonely."

[littledhampir]

"It's quiet..." Answering without really thinking about what she was saying. The bond wasn't something she'd touched on with anyone here in Wonderland. Telling people she could hear voices made her sound crazy in her world. Here? Rose didn't want to see if they had straight-jackets.

"You get used to always having people around and then, this place." Smile a little tight as that moment of pure honesty gets covered with a plausible explanation. "At least half the people here don't suck."

[krmvgivv]

"Quiet isn't really the word that comes to mind." But he was living in the woods, even if he was also living with Mabel and Grunkle Stan, neither of whom is the picture of quiet. "Also not sure I'd agree with you there. A lot of people still suck. Way more than half if you count the mirrors."