Alistair (Theirin) (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
fatherlesskind) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
entrancelogs2016-04-27 10:20 pm
fatherlesskind) wrote in entrancelogs2016-04-27 10:20 pm
Entry tags:
[Semi-Closed] Isn't it a little early for a mid-life crisis?
Who: Alistair & Mystique + others maybe
Where: Around Wonderland
When: April 22nd and several days after
Rating: PG-13, talk of death
Summary: Alistair has gotten first-hand experience with Wonderland deaths and he really needs to just not think about anything for a while thanks.
The Story:
[Waking up had been a surprise, no matter what he'd heard before. It wasn't the first time Alistair had fallen and expected not to wake up again but this time was different. This time he didn't come to with an old woman looking down at him and telling him that all his comrades bar one had died. That was the good part. That other bit? The actually dying bit after feeling himself eaten away by that fungus? That was really not good.
He'd known since shortly after he became a Warden that he didn't have a long life ahead of him. And after Ostagar, with a Blight and an archdemon and a civil war to contend with, he'd known that he could die at any time. That his chances of surviving it all were small. But it had never been so immediate. So real. And he'd never expected it to be fleeting. It's unnerving in so many ways, twisting inside him and making him wish he found prayer as reassuring as so many of the other boys at the monastery had. But the Maker never answered any of his prayers before and when he tries his thoughts just chase themselves in circles and the words won't come.
It's too quiet on his own with only a cat to talk to - a cat that does his best but their conversations do get a little samey after a while. So he goes in search of company, with a mewling kitten squirming in his arms and climbing his shoulders all the while. He starts by checking in on his friends here in Wonderland, knocking on their doors and waiting hopefully for a response, difficult to ignore with the cries of his feline companion to alert people to his presence.
Eventually he finds himself wandering the mansion and grounds (mostly) alone in search of company. He can be heard coming a mile away, loud mewling broken up by words.]
I know! [And-] I think you have a point but have you thought about the mess it will make?
[Alistair is quick to interrupt his current conversation as soon as he spots someone - anyone - else to talk to.]
Look Purrlock, company!
[And if his smile seems a little forced and his words even more boisterous than usual, well, the last event was hard on everyone right?]
[OOC: This is mostly for pre-arranged threads but if you want something just PM me or hit me up at![[plurk.com profile]](https://plurk.com/favicon.ico)
fetchquesting.]
Where: Around Wonderland
When: April 22nd and several days after
Rating: PG-13, talk of death
Summary: Alistair has gotten first-hand experience with Wonderland deaths and he really needs to just not think about anything for a while thanks.
The Story:
[Waking up had been a surprise, no matter what he'd heard before. It wasn't the first time Alistair had fallen and expected not to wake up again but this time was different. This time he didn't come to with an old woman looking down at him and telling him that all his comrades bar one had died. That was the good part. That other bit? The actually dying bit after feeling himself eaten away by that fungus? That was really not good.
He'd known since shortly after he became a Warden that he didn't have a long life ahead of him. And after Ostagar, with a Blight and an archdemon and a civil war to contend with, he'd known that he could die at any time. That his chances of surviving it all were small. But it had never been so immediate. So real. And he'd never expected it to be fleeting. It's unnerving in so many ways, twisting inside him and making him wish he found prayer as reassuring as so many of the other boys at the monastery had. But the Maker never answered any of his prayers before and when he tries his thoughts just chase themselves in circles and the words won't come.
It's too quiet on his own with only a cat to talk to - a cat that does his best but their conversations do get a little samey after a while. So he goes in search of company, with a mewling kitten squirming in his arms and climbing his shoulders all the while. He starts by checking in on his friends here in Wonderland, knocking on their doors and waiting hopefully for a response, difficult to ignore with the cries of his feline companion to alert people to his presence.
Eventually he finds himself wandering the mansion and grounds (mostly) alone in search of company. He can be heard coming a mile away, loud mewling broken up by words.]
I know! [And-] I think you have a point but have you thought about the mess it will make?
[Alistair is quick to interrupt his current conversation as soon as he spots someone - anyone - else to talk to.]
Look Purrlock, company!
[And if his smile seems a little forced and his words even more boisterous than usual, well, the last event was hard on everyone right?]
[OOC: This is mostly for pre-arranged threads but if you want something just PM me or hit me up at
it'll look as dramatic as the fight scenes in 300
Which is a good thing! The "not dead" part, that is.
[If he notices Alistair's edgy surprise, Anders chooses not to acknowledge it. He'd come to suspect Alistair's luck had turned foul after they'd parted ways mid-way through the event, something Alistair's not saying with words so much as his withdrawn demeanor.
For propriety's sake, he turns away so that Alistair can resume dressing without eyes following his every move, continuing to speak.]
I'm sorry to drop in unannounced--your cat wasn't in a position to lodge much of a complaint against trespassing mages. It's a bit strange to be the one barging into private quarters and not the other way around. [So this is what it's like to be a templar, hm?] I'm fine, thank you, very fine. I waited the worst out in a few spare rooms, and came back to this floor once I was sure the spores had cleared. What happened to you? You weren't anywhere I could find once the dust settled.
only if the costumes are the same
As he pursues his quest for the elusive shirt he listens to Anders talk, smiling faintly at what he hears.]
I'll teach him to do better in case you get any ideas. [He has to wonder though, didn't templars ever walk in on mages changing or bathing or something? Wouldn't that have been awkward? ...Probably not for Anders. He'd more likely send the templar running away, face as red as his skirt.
It's a preferable thought to the one that comes to mind when Anders asks him about his own fate. The faces of those creatures and the... pain and loss of control - loss of himself - that had come as time passed. Stilling he stares at the floor, swallowing against the sudden churning in his stomach.]
Ah- Me? I was just.... just stuck. Somewhere. In one of the spare rooms. I got stuck and. It took me a while. To get unstuck. Ha. Stupid, right?
[That was convincing, sure. Rather than see Anders reaction to the story Alistair walks over to where Purrlock is washing himself on his bed, getting a few rough licks for his trouble when he pets the cat.]
that can be arranged
[If Alistair's listening closely, Anders' tone doesn't quite seem to match his words. But that's nothing to be concerned about, right?
Too soon what small spark of levity there is at their reunion is overshadowed by the grim reminder that people don't just disappear for no reason. Anders doesn't think Alistair would have abandoned his room and his things (cat included) with no word of warning. Which makes the thin cover story a euphemism for something neither of them wants to contemplate.]
You were stuck? [Because Alistair has to admit, the idea's as ridiculous as it sounds.] Well, I'm glad you got... unstuck.
no subject
[So later he'll have to dig through his things to see if there's anything missing or, more likely, anything embarrassing (like a certain book he still has stashed away along with a few others) that Anders might have found. Well, that will keep him busy anyway. And distracted, which he won't complain about.]
Yes? [Ridiculous as it is, so long as Anders isn't directly questioning it he's sticking to the story. Why he doesn't know, as it's plain from the way his voice grows quiet that it's not true.] ...Me too. I was afraid that I... wouldn't get back. [Turning back to face Anders he forces a smile and shrugs.] But here I am.
[As bizarre as that feels. He should just be grateful he is and the stories are true.]
no subject
Normally he'd save honesty hour for someone else, too, but these are unique circumstances and Alistair's not lucky enough to get off that easily.]
And that's all? Should I expect the full story at a later date?
[He won't pry if Alistair really doesn't want to get into it, but he cares enough not to let it go.]
no subject
Shifting his weight uncomfortably from foot to foot, Alistair chews on his bottom lip and finally admits-] I... I got sick. From that stuff that made the things that attacked us. [A stupid mistake in hindsight. He'd been warned of the danger but he hadn't seen anything in the air and trying to keep his face covered while fighting just had been too difficult. Stupid.] I didn't realise until it was too late. And then I guess I... died.
[It sounds surreal to say it. Not a brush with death like at Ostagar but the actual thing. And then Wonderland's magic just... made it go away.]
no subject
But the offer's there. Alistair choosing to take him up on it only confirms what a part of Anders had been hoping against hope wasn't true, and the unavoidable reality of it settles heavily on his features.]
I leave you alone for a night and you go and catch the only thing worse than the taint, I swear...
[It's probably not funny, huh? Now that the truth is out, it seems more real now, more vital and solid, and concern twists the corner of his mouth.
What do you say to that? "Welcome back, how was dying? Did you enjoy the trip?"]
I kept thinking of reasons why you might be missing, and none of them were good, but that... I don't know what to say to that, which doesn't happen often. I feel like I should have been there.
no subject
It's not your fault. [Even if Anders had been there he's not sure it would have made a difference. Or it could have made things worse and they both might have wound up like that. So better that he'd been alone in the end, no matter how that had felt.]
You don't have to say anything. [Any other circumstances and he'd count throwing the other man for a loop as an accomplishment. As it is, he'd rather not have managed that but here they are. If it's any comfort to Anders no one else is going to hear about his inability to find something to say about the situation.] But I wouldn't say no if that hug was still on offer.
[Alistair smiles, trying to pass it off as a joke. Which it half is. The other half is just going to have to be disappointed because he's pretty sure Wardens don't go around hugging each other when something bad happens else they'd never stop.]
no subject
[Looking at Alistair now, it's difficult to imagine him succumbing to the zombie sickness the same way people succumb to the taint. He looks perfectly untouched and healthy--easy to be fooled into thinking he's fine when that couldn't be farther from the truth.
Anders can understand too well the appeal of clinging to humor. To feel yourself slipping away and come back from that? That'd be a memory Anders would be happy letting Wonderland gobble up.]
You're in my top ten, remember? You can have as many as you want. Only the best for my favorite people. [He even goes so far as to lift his arms briefly as if about to go in for a hug.] But really, whatever you need. I'm at your disposal. I can't even begin to imagine what ghoulification must be like--that's not something anyone should have to find out firsthand.
no subject
[For his Calling, yes. Because he needed practice for that. It wasn't like it was pretty straightforward or anything. And now he's thinking about it, what it will be like when the taint finally claims him and-]
Are you sure you won't need to drink after?
[Because he does remember how the topic of hugs came up the first time. Anders did say he could though. And then brought up the topic of ghouls. Alistair has seen more than enough of those and people still just succumbing to the corruption and while he'd thought about what that would be like before he'd never really known. Still doesn't but-
Stepping over to Anders he grabs the other man, intending to go in for a bone-crushing, lift-the-mage-off-his-feet hug that they'll both laugh about after - or he'll laugh and Anders might complain about. And that's how it starts sure, arms tight around the mage, about to heave him up off his feet. And then his grip slackens and Alistair stands there a too-long moment before letting go and pulling back with a self-conscious cough.]
That... worked better in my head. Did you want that drink now? [Maybe it's not such a bad idea.]
no subject
[Anders has had more than enough of big, burly men lifting him off the ground and squeezing him until he feels like the human equivalent of ointment being pushed out of a tube, but the offer had been honestly meant. When there's a genuine need, it's in his nature to set personal discomforts aside, not out in front. If Alistair actually wants to make him human ointment...
Well, the move toward him is unexpected, but Anders doesn't protest. He sure wasn't kidding.
Arms tighten on him and he half-thinks Alistair is about to have him relive his experience with The Refugee. He doesn't see a career as a bear hug recipient in his future, but he can live with it for Alistair's sake. A joke and a laugh is better than a mental breakdown or whatever the normal reaction is supposed to be when you spit in nature's eye and come back from the dead.
But Alistair doesn't follow through.
He stops like that, arms around him, and Anders senses the moment he takes him up on his offer in a very real way. That's his cue. An arm slips out from under the loop of Alistair's and pats him on the back, coming to rest there, palm flat. Let the actual hug commence. No words necessary.]
I think it worked fine. [As in he's not complaining or, most importantly, judging. Anders' tone is casual as can be when Alistair finally extricates himself.] After putting up with basement-dwelling fungus monsters, several drinks sound like a good place to start. To the bar or stay here?
no subject
Raising his head just enough to direct a smile at Anders he nods. Drinks it is. Post-hug drinks. It might become a tradition if they keep it up.]
Let's go to the bar. [There's other people there and as unsettled and sick and everything else he feels when his thoughts stray in the wrong direction, company is good. Alistair has always hated being alone, even in the Chantry where most of the other recruits saw him as an annoyance at best their company had been better than being on his own. Yes, Anders will still be here if they stay put but the distraction of a roomful of people would be good too. Unless he does something really embarrassing. And he's pretty sure he's done there for the day.]
Just give me a minute. [Though he really doesn't need to check Purrlock's food and water courtesy of his volunteer sitter he does anyway. With a quick scratch under the chin - the leads to a longer tussle and his fingers getting chewed on - he farewells the cat and turns back to Anders.] Now I'm ready.
no subject
[Anders says nothing of the hug or the blush that accompanies it. Some things are worth teasing people over, but not this. This is too meaningful a thing to undercut with mockery, however good-humored. Who cares if they're men, or warriors, or Wardens? They're human, too.
Life's lonely enough as it is without denying themselves comfort, giving or receiving or anything in between.
And Alistair--Alistair doesn't deserve what Wonderland's done to him. With head bowed, he looks younger than he ever has, and it makes Anders think he deserves... better. Far better when so much responsibility is already resting on those slumped shoulders. Comfort and empathy is the least he's owed.
He waits at the door until Alistair is done saying goodbye to Purrlock, head tilting to take in his expression.]
All right?
[Are you all right?]