entrancelogs | call yourself a living girl.

Entry tags:

call yourself a living girl.

who | elena gilbert + you
where | the entrance hall + around.
when | throughout august.
rating | tba? prose + brackets equally welcome.
summary | elena returns from her canon update. then there is a catch-all post for the month of august. then there is a literary question. give me everything.
the story |

a r r i v a l.

[ a young woman stands in the middle of your entrance hall, eway.

she is decked out in formal wear, and for a beat or two, looks very confused. a dozen tiny pieces of her heart, all of them belonging to wonderland, start falling back into place. it is with effort elena shakes off a sense of displacement. months went by where she could not, for the life of her, remember this place. months.

in mystic falls, that's several lifetimes.

elena turns in place, almost lightheaded with an overwhelming feeling. she's heard the stories. she's listened to other people's experiences. wonderland is a revolving door: with every swivel, people come, and then they go.

and sometimes they come back again.

don't mind the girl in the ball gown storming the proverbial castle. the mansion is eerily quiet, and she needs to make sure she isn't the only one left standing. ]

a u g u s t.

[ it doesn't take long for elena to pick up where she left off. sure, life back home is a roller coaster and then some, but when is it not? life doesn't stop, and neither does elena. she refuses to wallow. refuses to linger on what she can't change—yet. throughout the month, she settles back into some kind of routine. she jogs every morning, bright and early. she stops by the coffee shop afterward for her daily fix. every other evening, she hits the gym; there's a sandbag with her name on it, and elena pummels it with more skill than she used to.

you can thank alaric saltzman (and faith lehane) for that last one.

bump into her during any and all of these instances. alternatively, feel free to ask ella to write a ~~better~~ more specific starter for your character. ♥ ]

n e t w o r k.

[ okay, so she keeps busy. elena is a busy bee if there ever was one. if she isn't doing her nancy drew thing in hopes of uncovering wonderland's secrets, she's checking in on her loved ones, helping evelyn at the library, or preparing herself for wonderland's upcoming events. but her trip back home has left her restless and somewhat uneasy.

it means sleep is hard to come by.

it means elena is at the library, curled up on her favorite brown leather chair, with a shawl at her feet. she turns her device on and activates the text feature, addressing any and all night owls still awake. ]

Does anyone have any book recommendations? I'm not picky with genres, as long as the writer has something interesting to say. [ in lieu of her network post, there is always stumbling on her at the library proper. she'll be roaming the stacks in search of her next read. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[damon smirks when she straightens further in place, when he reads the surprise in her. he knows that elena would ordinarily not be fooled for a moment, but she's drunk whether or not she will admit it. he smiles at her, nodding in return as if he's really saying goodnight but instead, he follows right after her, slipping into her room when she's not looking.

his arms fold across his chest as he watches her try to walk over to her bed, and then he bites down on his lip in fond amusement and rushes over, grabbing her lamp before it can completely fall off. she only almost knocked it off, but he decides to help it steady.]

Yes, you do seem sober.

[coughs.] I know you're mad at me, Elena, but I can't leave you in this state. You need to go to bed.

[ she makes an undignified noise. her reflexes aren't on point tonight, okay? she notices damon until it's too late and he's already saved her lamp from ruin. the bastard. she gives a light scoff, but it's halfhearted and almost drowsy. ]

You know, you come into my room aaaaaaanytime you want, and I rarely take that liberty myself. I don't think that's fair.

[ elena marches past him, thinks it over, goes back to her bed, grabs her teddy bear, and continues to march toward his room. yes, now she will be invading his space. that'll clearly teach him a lesson.

that'll clearly prove her point!! ]

[the bastard is right. he should have obviously let her drop the lamp and then break it only to step on broken pieces of glass. clearly. he lifts an eyebrow with a little smirk at what she says]

Elena, you can take that liberty as often as you want. No one is stopping you. Certainly not me. To be warned, I sleep shirtless a lot.

[he's just saying... with a wink even as he follows her back to her bed, following her over to his room, with a little laugh. this definitely proves a point to him. clearly. his room is so classically fancy though, elena.

don't you like it?] I'm thinking you need a glass of water. [or two. it's said as he steps behind her, making sure she's on steady ground

as much as possible. he loves she brought the teddy bear though. so, so much]

I'm thinking you need to stop with the flirty comments and the ...

[ her voice trails off as she tries to mimic the thing he does with his eyes, but all she ends up doing is wagging her eyebrows weirdly. she scoffs again, because she so has his number. she collapses on the comfy leather chair close to the bed. ] We both know it's all talk.

[ she's his brother's girl, and damon would never.

except that one night he did, they both did, and she's now keeping to herself. ]

I'm thinking you need to not try to tell me what to do, Elena...

[damon says this even as he laughs at her attempt to mimic and then he lifts an eyebrow when she collapses on the comfy leather chair, close to the bed, not on the bed. it makes him pause when she calls him on it, stopping abruptly where he's moving (knowing what he should do and what he shouldn't do, and never quite ending up at the first)] Right. All talk. I would never dream to actually press my mouth against your own, kiss you as I've been thinking about for such a long time now.

[he doesn't sound like he believes it even as he retrieves a glass of water from the closet, walking back her way with it]

Drink.

All of it.

[ her throat goes dry.

okay, so she didn't really think this through. warmth floods her cheeks and elena's gaze instinctively lowers toward his mouth. she forces it back on the glass in his hand, thinking she could take the bratty route and volley his words back at him: don't tell her what to do, damon.

but that seems like a landmine, just then.

so she takes the glass and she drinks. she is drinking. all of it. it keeps her from having to say anything at all.

yep. that's the tag. ]

[damon smirks when warmth floods her cheeks the way it does, and he can see how her gaze lowers towards his mouth, as he stands in front of her, and then slowly kneels down so their faces are far closer to each other. he tilts his head to the side as though waiting for a response

but she just drinks and drinks, all of the water.]

That'll help with the hangover.

[as much as he wants to kiss her (all the time, right now), he also wants it to be real, and she's very, very drunk at the moment

which means it would be less real]

You really think I wouldn't act on it?

[ silence is deafening, and the air grows thick with it in damon's room.

she lifts her eyes slowly as he walks over to her. doesn't tear her gaze away from his frame as their distance is erased.

at the end of the day, everyone has it wrong. elena isn't what damon can't have. damon is what elena can never have. can never choose. nor save, nor fix, nor want. or shake. (admit it, damon. you wouldn't know what to do if she gave back everything that you've placed in her hands. they would be scalding yours.) ]

I think ... it would be wrong if you did. [ she should be mad at him. she's still mad at him, isn't she? hating him has never come naturally to her when it should, and she tried for a very long time to remain unforgiving and unmoved. it shouldn't be so simple. (it will always be this complicated.) ]

[the air grows very thick, very charged as if with electricity. damon feels it, and he kneels down as he holds the water out to her, but he doesn't move. he doesn't erase the rest of the space. it's because she is drunk

it's because he wants her to choose it too like he did, like he has, like he will whether or not she ever changes her mind on that part. damon smiles, shaking his head then]

No. It wouldn't be wrong. [she can be mad at him. she can hate him. she can fight him with all her might, but it wouldn't be wrong, and she knows it. he knows it too. it's not wrong. it's right. it's just... not right now

a moment he has never lived but one he feels regardless]

[ the weight is shared.

whether she damns them both by saying it aloud or never breathes a word of it until the day she dies, the weight is shared. (You and I ... we have something -- ) there aren't any illusions in this dark space they share. but she knows what comes tomorrow and the day after that.

he wants them to be real, and this moment is too real. ]

I love Stefan.

[ she says it like fact. like a truth she's known and always will. she says it like battle armor. ]

[it's not like damon didn't expect it. it's been the whole song and dance through summer, and he has never been more aware of how much she loves and will fight for stefan than through this summer and the moments that followed it. he hears the words, and they crash into him like a battle laying its place within his chest.

like a truth that will always be. regardless. true with his father, true with katherine, true with elena, an endless symphony of truth that he hates to hear. he is not enough, and he has always known that. he's always known he is the monster long before he became a vampire.

sharp edges sinking in. his jaw locks, and he looks away from her, far away from her without saying a word in response.

he doesn't look at her again even as he reaches his hand out to tug her toward his bed now that she has finished the glass.]

You should get some sleep.

[ her thick lashes lower immediately.

this moment reminds her too much of the ball, and a dance he has yet to live; it reminds her too much of how she'll blurt out razor-sharp words that she knows are going to hurt him, only to regret them after they've already left her. it's not that she's said something neither of them already knew. it's no startling revelation, no life-altering epiphany. but it was meant to wound, to keep them both from teetering on the brink of something she is not ready to admit.

elena does not object this time around. she lets herself be tugged, and it doesn't take long for her to pass out. when she awakens hours and hours later, she's in her own room, light filtering softly through the window. and then there is damon, sitting in that very same bay window, his device in hand.

voice scratchy, sleep lingering: ] Damon?

[damon has been making his way through the former entries on the network slowly. there is a lot to wade through especially if one takes in the comments and the videos in response to them as well, and he wants to so he can learn everything he possibly can.

it doesn't mean he is prepared for the video of elena gilbert taking out a zombie. she didn't mention this to him, not that he is surprised she didn't. it's terrifying to watch in the same instance it's elena as hell, beautiful as hell, sexy as hell. fighting to survive, running. she takes out a zombie and she keeps running.

warrior queen. his gaze drifts up from the device, looking over at her.]

You took out a zombie.

[it's said softly from his spot by the window. he doesn't move. he hadn't been sitting on the bed because he didn't want to wake her, because he wanted space after her words. ~~at least he didn't go running off to sleep with an original this time.~~]

How did you ...

[ her voice trails off, gaze landing on the device once more. oh.

right. look, she is still waking up. her thoughts are slow to gather. pushing her hair off her face, elena blinks what's left of her sleepiness and straightens up into a seated position. a smirk curves low on her lips the more she looks at him. with the vaguest hint of pride: ]

I did.

[ it doesn't sound unlike that time she reminded him i saved your life. ] I told you there's a lot you missed out on. [ not that he necessarily wanted to be around for zombies. wonderland's been relatively tame in comparison since. ]

[damon lifts an eyebrow as her voice trails off, and he looks at her as she pushes her hair out of her face. there's a glass of water by her bedside table which he left there since he'd been certain she would be thirsty when she woke up. there's a light smirk though at that vaguest hint or pride in her voice. it does sound familiar even as he looks back at the device, shaking his head a bit.

as he shuts the video down, the videos, all the replies too. she survived, and he can see that, but it was still close, and it's hard to wrap his head around the fact he might not have been here for that.]

Apparently so... you being all warrior princess with a bunch of zombies. [or at least this one zombie right in the middle of the rest.] Fighting with whatever you can get your hands on.

Sounds like you. More than a little dangerous... You were looking for Bonnie.

[obviously. elena will put herself in danger looking for those she considers to be her own, to be hers.]

[ elena's lashes lower.

it's an admission of sorts, but she is also remembering. the panic, the worry, how desperate she'd felt. the death policy of this place doesn't change a single thing when danger keeps closing in on you. ] We were separated right before it all started. I couldn't find her and she couldn't find me. Sometimes that worries her.

[ magic isn't the be all and end all. at least, not bonnie's magic. not here in wonderland. bonnie never likes feeling helpless.

and honestly, neither does elena. she grabs the glass of water and takes a small sip. ]

A friend of mine, Angel, helped me as I looked. [ ahem. ]

Sometimes you need to not worry about that and get yourself somewhere safe. [damon knows it is more complicate dthan that, and it doesn't stop him from saying it regardless. it's in the past, and now he's here and he would fight through multiple zombies to make it to her side regardless. bonnie and him already had a discussion about it

damon will do anything to save elena. always.]

...Angel. [he makes a little face as he shifts where he's seated.] Right, I met him. Talked to him at least. He mentioned you.

Vampire who is so open about being one to help garner... trust.

He did?

[ elena straightens in place at the admission.

she lightly rolls her eyes, and laughs off damon's derision. ] It's his way of controlling how someone finds out in a place that likes to air your dirty laundry when you least expect it. Surprisingly, it works for him more often than not. [ elena is used to keeping things a secret. to protect those who are ignorant. to protect those who carry those secrets. she's guarded them fiercely, but in wonderland, it doesn't always pay off.

different rules. ]

Yes. Don't look so surprised.

[damon makes a face more when she straightens in place at the admission. HE KNOWS THE BROODY MCBROOD HAIR REMINDS HIM OF STEFAN BUT DO NOT FALL FOR HIS WHIMS, ELENA!!!!!]

He mentioned it's his way of getting people to trust him better, and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. I've tried it. I don't know how well it works. [but damon did the thing here a couple of times and then pfft. people at least don't react like monster!!! pitchfork!!!! torches!!! here, but still. he doesn't know how much trust was created.

he breathes out between his teeth]

I just didn't realize you two had already met!

[ gosh.

then again, it really shouldn't be a surprise. wonderland is only so big. at some point, paths are going to cross. elena shuffles out of the bed, and joins him at the bay window. any lingering awkwardness from last night flying out the window at his next admission. ]

Wait, what? You've told people you're a vampire? [ damon's been making friends???? his version of friend, in any case?? ] Who?

Is that all?

[damon huffs a bit as he leans back. no, angel found him on his arrival day to speak to him and talk about elena. huffs. he leans back against the window, and he is definitely not acknowledging what she said last night. not acknowledging awkwardness either as he takes a drink from the glass beside him

it's bourbon. no one was surprised]

Just two people. I was testing out the theory. [he narrows his gaze in her direction] Some asshole named Alex and some poor innocent mage soul named Jowan.

[ elena isn't even going to dignify that question with an answer, caveman.

she does purse her lips in exasperation, a fitting response to his own huffy expression. eventually it relents, in favor of watching him. she rarely lets herself do so more than necessary, but her eyes wander now: from his hand as it holds the glass of bourbon, to his face as he answers her.

neither of those names sound familiar to her, and elena is a fairly social creature. hm. ]

How did they take it?

[damon leans back, aware her gaze is on him, even as he takes a slow drink from his glass. he doesn't look at her as she stares at him as if allowing her to do so and to watch him without thinking she has to look away because I love Stefan. he swallows more of the bourbon with that in mind, and he stares out the window instead of at her.]

Surprisingly well.

One knew Angel so he'd already gotten the I'm a vampire speech. Guess it worked for him with trust. [and they're both trash so they get along pretty well.] The other one apparently thinks I'm his friend... who believes in him.

[Don't ask how that one happened.]

[ she can tell he is avoiding her, in some ways.

and it hurts a little, but she also knows that she deserves it. her expression softens, not that he'll be able to tell. damon's been such a terrible person. he's hurt so many people. he's hurt himself, more than he's been hurt by others, and then some.

and still, something in her keeps hoping: she wants to believe in this man. ]

Is that really such a bad thing?

[ for someone to think that damon is his friend? for believing that he could be? ]

[damon lifts up the glass again when she asks her question. his eyes are dark even as he swallows more of that burn, fingertips tightening over the glass in his hand. he doesn't know what she is thinking, and he doesn't want to guess at it for once.

she was one of the first to believe in him, to tell him to be better when he's always known he is not. better.]

It's just going to lead to disappointment.

Believing someone shouldn't be tortured by themselves or someone else for what they are doesn't make me someone's friend. [and if jowan hadn't mentioned the torture part, damon might have killed him right then and there

for daring to believe that damon was anything more than the monster with teeth.]

call yourself a living girl.

ha :')

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