(open) there's got to be a morning after;

[hypoxic]

Who: Leo Fitz and anyone else who really needs a beer right now
Where: The bar
When: August 9th, during that very still period between the end of the event and the return of everyone's powers.
Rating: PG-13, will note if anything escalates
Summary: Everyone got to live different lives and be different people! And then they woke up with the realization that they might have said or done some things that maybe shouldn't have happened. Beer is the solution to this problem. Come commiserate.
The Story:


[People talked about it, of course. They mentioned that events could change more than just parts of the mansion. But this was the first time Fitz had the chance to experience it. He'd lived an entirely different life, and it was... Pathetic. He'd become a person so steeped in published dogma that he lost track of common sense and self-awareness. He let people perform atrocities on him, all because he "knew" he was adhering to science.

And ever since waking up with his true memories restored, he's felt absolutely sick about it.

He settles down at the bar at just before noon, nursing a beer and brooding. He's not an expert drinker, and lets the beverage sit long enough for condensation to bead along the exterior of the glass between sips. But the sips do come eventually. How else is he going to wash away an alternate lifetime's worth of horrible choices?

Occasionally, he'll glance to whomever's settled down nearby, seeking comfort in shared misery.]

If I never hear the word "mutant" again it'll be too soon, yeah?

[This might be the most social he's been in the four months since his arrival.]

Comments

[hyperkinesia]

[ Bruce actually looks surprised to hear Fitz say that, especially after what he went through. He doesn't point it out, though.

He also agrees that there needs to be more drinking, so another big gulp from his glass it is. ]

Feels a little like running, doesn't it? Wanting to forget.

[hypoxic]

I was never a particularly good runner anyway.

[It's not even a good joke, but he's trying.]

I think I ought to thank you, for what you tried to do for me.

[hyperkinesia]

[ Bruce glances over at Fitz, offering a weak and brief smile, though at least genuine. ]

You don't have to thank me. I'm just... sorry it didn't do much good.

[hypoxic]

I... that person was already too far gone. Jemma always said I'm too stubborn when I've set my mind to something. I suppose that applies to every universe.

[hyperkinesia]

Guess so. [ He huffs a little, almost amused if not for the trauma Fitz experienced. ] I'm sorry you went through that, anyway. You definitely got a much shorter end of the stick than most of us did.

[hypoxic]

I'm not sure about that.

[Oh, it's all hugely traumatic in retrospect, but] I was happy, in some twisted, misguided way. You knew everything that was happening. It must've been torture that nobody believed you.

[hyperkinesia]

[ Bruce smiles a little, finding that to be a weirdly accurate way to put it. ]

Some people listened, at least. That was something. Better than being on my own.

[hypoxic]

That's a good thing, at least.

[He contemplates this over a bit more beer before continuing in a voice he hopes is more even than he feels.]

Did... Have you met any of the ones we knew there?

[He's asking about that Caitlin person, but can't think of any way to ask about her without sounding hugely awkward.]

[hyperkinesia]

Uh... a few people, yes. There was Steve, Jane— Cami, too. You, obviously. But for the most part I knew a lot of people there that I never even met while here.

[ He pauses and looks into his half-empty glass. ] I was close to a few of them, there. It was... I don't know. Too weird. [ It's only bound to get weirder now. God. ]

[hypoxic]

[He laughs then, lacking humor.]

I understand completely. Do you suppose there's a card available that covers a situation like this? "I told you I loved you yesterday, so perhaps I ought to know who you are today"?

[hyperkinesia]

[ It's almost eerie how close to home that hits, but Bruce doubts Fitz did it purposefully. He couldn't— couldn't know, couldn't have guessed, so Bruce doesn't even think to question it.

He does bury his face in his hands, groaning a little. ]

God, I really... sincerely hope not. [ He would lock himself up in a room indefinitely before he even thought to send out a card like that. Dropping his hands, he looks at Fitz. ]

Words might— might do you better. [ A pause, then. ] I didn't meet her... before all that. But maybe she'll be more, uh... approachable.

[hypoxic]

I reckon she'd almost have to be.

[Bruce's expression was interesting, though. It probably wasn't for Caitlin, that's for certain.]

I'm sure yours will be understanding as well.

[It's not Jane is it? It would be so weird if it was Jane ]

[hyperkinesia]

I genuinely hope so.

[ If Caitlin was at all like her alternate counterpart then Bruce imagines it wouldn't make things in Wonderland all that pleasant.

Bruce huffs almost dismissively at Fitz's attempt to comfort him, shaking his head and smiling tensely as he looks down into his cup. ]

Maybe, but it doesn't matter. I don't think I really want to find out.

[ At this point he'd probably have been relieved if it had been Jane, honestly. ]

[hypoxic]

Why don't you? We're supposed to look out for one another, aren't we? Even if your experiences were unfavorable, they're still something shared.

Aren't you curious?

[hyperkinesia]

No. No, I'm not. [ Yes, he is, but he's also embarrassed— mortified, actually. Worried, scared, and feeling incredibly guilty. Even though he knows that that version of him was just an alternate, and not really the same person as he is. Doubtlessly that's true for Will, too.

He can't bring himself to say out loud that the experiences weren't at all unfavorable, rather the opposite. Instead he spills out before he thinks twice about it. ] I'm pretty sure he's not all that curious, either.

[hypoxic]

["He."] Oh.

[Oh he can see how that might create a lot of questions that are difficult to answer.]

Can you really be so sure about the way someone else thinks, though? Thinking's a bit personal, yeah?

[hyperkinesia]

[ Yes, it does. And Bruce is an expert when it comes to avoiding uncomfortable situations like that, so naturally this seems like the most logical course of action.

Funnily enough, from what he 'knows' of Will, he may just be the kind to do the same. ]

Fine, then. If he wants to talk, then he can come find me himself. [ No one said anything about him having to take the first step, right? ]

[hypoxic]

[Fitz squints at him then. He must have misunderstood Bruce's intended meaning.]

And -- you're sure that's what you want to do to mend this?

[Bruce Banner is an Avenger. He should be a hero about things.]

[hyperkinesia]

[ Yeah no. He'd signed up to punch bad guys and aliens out of the atmosphere, not deal with flings he had with people in alternate universes.

Also technically he's not an Avenger anymore, so there's that. ]

Who said I wanted to mend this? And there's nothing to mend to begin with, anyway. We don't even know each other, not really.

[hypoxic]

But why wouldn't you want to? If you're aware that someone might be feeling anxious, or -- or not right, you should do what you can.

[He looks up to Bruce so much don't ruin it.]

[hyperkinesia]

[ Lol ruins it ]

No, I shouldn't. Not when I know the other person is as intent on avoiding me as I am them. I... I have nothing against him. I wouldn't want him harm either, but talking about it will just make things weirder.

[ Also there may be some memory of the feelings he felt back then, even if he's sure those feelings aren't there anymore. The memories are, and that's enough to make Bruce feel more confused than he's willing to face or admit right now. ]

Why does it matter to you anyway?

[hypoxic]

[Bruce might as well have been speaking another language then. He'd opened his mouth, but there was nothing about Goodness or Righteousness there. He hadn't even offered to smash anything oppressing the masses.]

I'd only thought.

[For a moment, there's a hint of that alternate Fitz, something small and impressionable in his eyes as he settles into the process of watching a deity fall to earth.]

-- It's not important.

[hyperkinesia]

No, it's not.

[ Bruce downs the rest of his glass and acts like he didn't see the look on Fitz's face. It's almost worse than the people who've hated him for years, who yell on television about the monster he is. He barely can bear the guilt of making Fitz feel this way, but he also can't stand acting like he's someone he's not just for his sake.

Better that he knows the truth now, sees him for who he really is. ]

I'm not who you think I am. I'm not some hero. I'm just a man. And a cowardly one at that.

[hypoxic]

[That look isn't going anywhere. He doesn't have a lot to believe in here. especially not after what's just happened. He needs one thing to hold fast and not fall apart.]

Cowards don't do the things you've done.

[Bruce saves people. He's an Avenger. He's a hero because he has to be a hero.]

[hyperkinesia]

Yeah? And what is it that I've done? You mean that part where I was ready to run and hide away while leaving the rest of the team to deal with a proplem that I was in part to blame for? Is that the sort of stuff that makes me a hero?

[ He kind of hates himself for even bringing that up, for losing his calm enough to blurt that out with little or no thought. Closing his eyes, he drops his head, a hand lifting up to cover half of his face and serve as almost a shield between himself and Fitz. ]

Sorry. I didn't mean to, I just... [ He sighs. ] You think too highly of me. I'm not going to live up to it. I'm sorry.