entrancelogs | [OPEN] Is it mayhem or just an ego trip? But only one can win

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[OPEN] Is it mayhem or just an ego trip? But only one can win

Who: Mettaton and YOU, WONDERLAND!
What: Mettaton’s birthday!
When: August 16th, 7pm to 9pm
Where: First floor, Room 50/52
Rating: W for WILD PARTY (Ok no more like PG-13 just in case)
Summary: Mettaton has a birthday party that involves creating an entire theater for his first ever Wonderland performance!

The Story:

On every wall in Wonderland (and quite a few statues and pillars) citizens will find a poster bearing the beautiful visage of resident robotic star, Mettaton! Emblazoned across the top of it are the letters M-T-T in sparkling gold inks, surrounded by an oddly rectangular robot, with one wheel sticking out the bottom. Anyone who knows will recognize that the arms look the same as Mettaton’s regular arms and could hazard a guess that the rectangle is supposed to be him?

Below that, there is a picture of Mettaton posing with a mic stand with a singular spotlight shining down on him. Below THAT, there are words:

HELLO BEAUTIES AND GENTLEBEAUTIES OF WONDERLAND! IT’S YOUR RESIDENT HEARTTHROB AND CELEBRITY DELIGHT’S BIRTHDAY TODAY! THIS NIGHT ONLY, COME TO ROOM 50 ON THE FIRST FLOOR FOR AN INAUGURAL PERFORMANCE BY YOURS TRULY!

COME MARVEL AT WONDERLAND’S NEW THEATER FOR THE PERFORMING ARTS! AFTER MY PERFORMANCE AT 7PM ANY AND ALL ARE WELCOME TO BRING THEIR DREAMS TO THE STAGE!

NO PRESENTS REQUIRED; ONLY YOUR PRESENCE! THOUGH THEY CERTAINLY WON’T BE TURNED DOWN!

FOOD AND DRINK WILL BE PROVIDED THANKS TO THE KINDNESS OF WONDERLAND’S BOTTOMLESS KITCHEN

NEVER SAY I’VE NEVER DONE ANYTHING FOR YOU, DARLINGS~! ♥

((OOC: While this is a party for Mettaton, it’s still a party. Feel free to make your own open top levels for any portion of this extravaganza!))

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An odd side hatch is much better than Sans was hoping. He also can't help pulling a face at the suggestion.

"don't worry, i'm way more thrifty with my money than that."

Buying racecar beds for his brother doesn't count. You can't be thrifty with family.

"heh, you're welcome. i'm glad it wasn't a silly gift. i mean, i did think about getting you a box of whoopee cushions, so."

Mettaton lets himself laugh at Sans's discomfort.

"You don't seem the type that would spend a pretty penny just to satisfy that sort of urge."

Whoopee cushions? Really?

"You do seem the type to love gag gifts though. What did you think I would do with all of those cushions?"

"that would be assuming i had the penny or the urge."

Urges don't really happen when you're just bones, after all. You probably need nerves for that sort of thing.

He snorts. "i dunno. maybe sign them and hand them out to fans."

"Mmm, to each their own, I suppose."

Does he get "urges"? Debatable, since he didn't have a physical body for years and now is in a body that doesn't have any natural things to it. But man does he enjoy acting on... something.

"MTT Brand Whoopie Cushions! Limited Time only, for the prank-minded fan!"

He laughs at the thought, as he quietly comes up with an idea for MTT Magic Tricks. It would be an interesting way to appeal to his human fans, since so many of them seem to be jealous of Monster magic.

"Honestly, that sounds like something you would sell, since you always try to be some kind of entrepreneur."

He vaguely remembers seeing Sans's hot dog stand in Hotland a number of times.

Sans has honestly just never given it very much thought. Not exactly a top priority, after all.

"heh, exactly. fans would eat it up." In Sans's experience, fans of a thing will buy literally anything even remotely associated with the thing, no matter how weird or silly it is.

"oh, i tried once. it didn't go over so well. but i like running a business. it's fun. and it's so weird. people give you money and you give them something in return. it's weird how simple it is. i like it."

Actually, given that he knows that in certain timelines where Mettaton takes over the Underground and Sans becomes his agent, maybe he literally has tried selling MTT-brand Whoopee Cushions. Probably. That sounds like something he would do.

If Sans has never experienced anything of a sexual nature, Mettaton is NOT going to be the first one to show him. Sans is cute and all, but no sir. That's just weird.

He looks at Sans, perplexed.

"Yes, that's exactly how the business model works. I... suppose you can think of it simply like that."

It's been awhile since he thought of business and the art of selling product on such a small scale. Now he's all commercials, brands, stocks and interest rates.

"Have you ever thought of expanding it beyond a stand or two?"

He gives an expansive shrug. "i mean, that's what it all boils down to. and if you look at it that way, it's really weird. and also really fun."

He considers the question for a moment, tapping his chin.

"well, i don't think there'd be much point here. one hotdog stand right in the middle of everything seems to be enough. plus, well. there isn't really an economy here. i mostly just do it cause, like i said--fun. back home i had four or five sentry stands and sold hotodgs at most of them. pretty much just depended on which stand i was at at the time. i have a knack for being in multiple places at once, heh."

Mettaton feels odd, thinking about business deals in such a small light. But... that's how his merch started, didn't it? Maybe not so one on one as Sans talks about, but he was hawking his own wares for awhile in the beginning.

"Yes, here it doesn't have much going for it, but when you get to the Surface you should consider expanding more. The humans will eat up a Monster owned business selling pretty much anything."

He stops, really ruminating on Sans's words and his brow furrows.

"How did you manage all of them? If I remember correctly, the Sentry schedules were very strict about no overlap. How did you have 5 stands?"

He shrugs again.

"eh, maybe. i'm pretty okay with just a few stands."

Though the idea that humans will actually want his water sausages is pretty amusing. And slightly alarming. He has a sudden flash of staring out at long lines of humans clamoring for weird, vegetarian hotdogs, and him just one skeleton against the hordes.

And there are an awful lot of humans up there, aren't there? Yikes. Maybe this is worth thinking about.

...Or not. Ha. Because none of this applies to Wonderland, and none of this is ever going to happen on the Surface. Three months, according to Mettaton. That's not nearly enough time to get a business off the ground, and why even bother? With his luck, the world would Reset the moment he sold the first hotdog.

He winks at Mettaton. "trade secret."

Oh Sans, if you only knew about the recent health food craze among humans, you'd know that your water sausage dogs would be a number one seller over night, especially if you played up the Monster angle.

As it stands (heh) Mettaton shakes his head. "You could really do a lot with your ideas if you ever pushed a little more." He stops, thinks for a moment, then grins. "If you ever decide you want to get that ball rolling, I'll give you a one-time special endorsement. Just because we're friends."

Friends. They're friends now, aren't they? He showed up to his birthday and performance, gave him a gift, and now they're casually talking. He supposes they must be at the very base level of friendship now. How odd.

Now he's pouting a bit. "Trade secret, hm? You seem to have a lot of those. You're pretty secretive for someone so friendly."

"ehh. sounds like too much effort. never been a fan of effort. i like to take it easy."

It's nice of Mettaton to offer. It's always nice of everyone to offer, but Sans is just never interested in pushing or putting in effort or applying himself or trying. Just in general.

"i guess. the hotdog business can be pretty shady. gotta stay on your toes. otherwise people are stealing your turf or your recipes.

"If that's what makes you happy, then I suppose there's nothing else you really need to do."

It might not be the answer Sans expects out of Mettaton, but he's no fool. If someone doesn't want to put in the effort to do something, no amount of cajoling will get them to do it. It's what made Burgerpants so frustrating. The Monster clearly wanted to do more, and yet wouldn't, and none of his helpful and friendly pushing changed anything.

(Friendly and helpful being... subjective, here.)

"Do you really think I'm going to steal your hot dog recipes? Please, Sans, I am doing well enough selling steaks in the shape of my face since so many people want to put me in their mouth. I don't need to expand out any farther."

He gives Sans a wink, just to sell his little joke even more.

He blinks at Mettaton for a moment, because no, he did not expect that. He expected Mettaton to push. Mettaton reminds him of a lot of monsters that Sans has met through his life, real go-getter types who tend to mean well are are always very helpful. And always very pushy. Want you to do and be better than you are.

There's a human saying about polishing turds. Funny thing is, you actually can polish a turd, if that's your prerogative, but the point is that it's still a turd.

"well, heh. i guess you're right."

The lewdness of the follow-up joke catches him off guard enough that he's startled into laughter.

"ha, man, you really don't have any shame, do you? ah, i mean--no offense. it's kind of admirable."

It's a weirdly positive version of not caring, a level Sans can never achieve.

"If more people focus on what makes them happy, it leaves more room for the rest of us who want to monetize everything."

Is that a joke? ...maybe. Mettaton himself isn't quite sure. Though he is pleased that he got Sans to laugh at his, quite frankly, inappropriate joke. What if one of the kids had overheard? This party is supposed to be family friendly. You're slipping, Mettaton.

"No point in having shame when you know you're wanted. It's giving the people exactly what they asked for."

And they asked for a sexy rectangle. Though now he's a more elongated sexy rectangle.

Nice follow-up. Can't appear to be too magnanimous and kind, now can he? Sans chuckles again.

"yeah, at least you have fun with it. that's the important part."

He can't imagine what it would be like to be a celebrity and to actually just want to be left alone.

Oh, certainly not. If he comes off as too kind or caring, people walk all over him. He'd much rather be the one doing the walking.

"I have so much fun with it, I've made it my life."

His life is on display, for perusal, for others to consume and comment on, and that requires playing to their whims and desires. Do they want sexy? They get sexy. Do they want fun? They get fun! Flirty, smart, interesting, a break from their own lives? It's theirs! He gives his all because he loves them, because his fans deserve it all! ...even when it pushes past what he can share, what he should share, past who he is as an individual, he gives it.

Mettaton is more than a Monster, he is an ideal made real. Or so he likes to think.

"Well, I've taken up enough of your time as it is. I'm sure you have more things to do with your night than chat with me."

"that's good. yanno, like you said--doing what you want and loving it."

It's important. Good for Mettaton. Good for everyone who can achieve that sort of contentment with their lives and lifestyles.

"well, i think i do hear the bar calling my name. figure you've got more presents to get and people to see, so. uh, but. i'm...real glad you liked the gift."

He gives a genuine grin.

"see you around, mtt."

"Oh, I'm certainly going to get more presents before the night is over, but don't let that trick you into thinking that this one of yours wasn't a great one."

He gives his own genuine grin back, a casual flip of his hair to offset the true happiness this entire exchange gave him.

"I'll see you around, Sans."

Off he goes then, sweeping off to the rest of the party with an extra spring to his step.

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[OPEN] Is it mayhem or just an ego trip? But only one can win

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