entrancelogs | [OPEN] TINY RICK

Entry tags:

[OPEN] TINY RICK

Who: Rick Sanchez and YOU
Where: Around Hogwarts etc.
When: Oct 1-5, the Hogwarts Event
Rating: PG-13ish for teenage douchebaggery and drug/alcohol use
Summary: Rick is a 7th Year Ravenclaw with a shitty punk band and is the RESIDENT BAD BOY ON CAMPUS he's the worst.
The Story:

ATTACK OF THE GIANT SQUID

Rick has been preparing for this prank for the past year. He had to calculate exactly how much magical energy was required and exactly which combination of spells would work best for this kind of abject bullshit. It's kind of befitting of a Ravenclaw to put that much effort into something, but one would think he'd put that effort into something actually worthwhile. But this is Rick. Everyone knows that Rick is a) The Worst and b) the fucking master of mayhem and destructive pranking.

It's a beautiful autumn day when suddenly the lake stirs. A seventeen-year-old is waving his wand at the edge. Bubbles start to rise. And then a giant squid starts to rise.

Yes, the giant squid that lives in the lake is now living outside of the lake, and is in fact rising straight up out of the goddamn water. It floats about thirty feet into the air, wriggling its tentacles in confusion and mild dismay. Then said giant squid starts floating toward the castle.

Everyone knows the giant squid is basically just a huge, wet, underwater puppy, so it's not going to hurt anyone. But still. There is definitely a giant squid floating around the outside of Hogwarts, followed closely by a teenager with his wand in the air, cackling like an insane person.

Hogsmeade

Only the shadiest people go to the Hog's Head, which is perfect because Rick is super shady. He's here late one evening after the students are probably supposed to have gone home, and is absolutely drinking, which may or may not be illegal, but haha, no one in this pub cares. Everyone knows Aberforth Dumbledore is some kind of goat fucker or something so it's not like he has any right to card people.

That is exactly how logic works.

Feel free to either have a drink with him or badger him about it.

The Astronomy Tower

Rick comes up here to be alone and think, and also to smoke, though depending on the day it's kind of anyone's guess what he's smoking. He seems a bit contemplative, but he might be willing to sell you some gillyweed if that's what you're into.

Some Dungeon

You may have seen a leaflet strewn around the castle advertising The Flesh Curtains. They're a punk rock band who mostly play covers of 80s songs and probably have like four fans, but oh well. Anyway, they're playing tonight, and they might suck, but they sure do have a lot of spirit. Or something. Maybe you're in the band? Maybe you're one of those four fans? Maybe you want to go tell the teachers that this illegal band is illegally playing in one of the dungeons?

WILDCARD

OR JUST COME AT RICK WITH WHATEVER THE FUCK DO IT FUCKING DO IT MORTY

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Dorian was minding his own business, walking through the courtyard on his way to class... When a large, writhing shadow suddenly looms over him.]

[He looks up, wondering exactly what was blocking out the sun.]

[There, in the sky, hovering 30 feet overhead, was the giant squid that belonged in the great lake.]

[Nevermind how many times the Slytherin has seen the squid outside his common room's windows. His instincts are telling him to get inside and look for cover, so he's going to be running away, screaming.]

Edited (Numbers. needed to fix them) 2016-10-05 14:46 (UTC)

[HIS FIRST VICTIM!!! Rick lurches toward the fleeing kid, the giant squid hovering above him and floating at about the speed of a helium balloon dragged along by an overenthusiastic child.]

Yeeaaah, run, motherfucker, run! Squidster's c-comin' for ya!

[Run he does. He manages to scramble to the bridge, fleeing towards the first doorway he could find. His next class isn't anywhere near here, mind you, he just has to get away from the cackling squid before-]

[WAIT. he knows that cackling.]

[Dorian turns around to see the biggest jerk on campus taunting him with his wand in the air and the squid in tow.]

RICK?!

[Dorian's still freaked out, but he's also angry and annoyed.]

YOUR PREFECT WILL HEAR ABOUT THIS!

[Rick is actively chasing him now.]

I don't give a SHIIIIIIT!!

[Still cackling, still lugging the squid along behind him like the poor thing is an oversized kite.]

Hahahahha the calamari's coming back to h-haunt you!

SWEET! SOMEONE GET A PROFESSOR IN HERE!

theothermrgray - 2016-10-06 23:58 (UTC) - Expand

Yes, it's that professor that teaches, of all things, flying. Funny how a former Ravenclaw became a professor of something that actually didn't involve much thinking, right? Or maybe it was the fact that he could do split-second calculations on the fly that made him such a successful Seeker in his day. Who knows. Either way, he's up here right now and he sees you smoking something that smells nothing like tobacco.

Stark cleared his throat when he stepped towards Rick. "Mr. Sanchez, I'd remind you that it's past curfew, but I'm fairly certain you already know that and furthermore, you don't care. So, why are you up here?" Kid, you're making him adult and he doesn't like to adult. Nevermind the fact that he was sneaking out when he caught you.

He startles so badly that he almost swallows his spliff. As it is, he inhales way too sharply and starts coughing, eyes starting to water.

"F-Fuck, man, don't sneak up on me like that."

Oh shit, it's a professor. One of the cooler professors, but still a professor. Rick grinds the spliff out against the stones and flicks it over the edge.

"Shit, can't a guy, uh, c-can't a guy step out for a smoke? The hell are, uh...you doing up here, anyway?"

Tony holds up a finger and takes a breath, ready to deduct points for Rick's language, but honestly, Tony was pretty sure he'd go blue in the face before Rick stopped cursing. Hell, he was sure Ravenclaw would be in the negative on points if he went that route. And then there was the swift disappearance of the joint that was flicked over the edge. He lets the breath out in a deflating sigh.

"No. You know the rules, no smoking on school grounds. Especially when the smoke in question is Mary-Jane." Honestly, Rick. "I was... just... Oh, no. You're not turning this back on me, kiddo. Nice try." Yep, that was the most inconspicuous deflect in the book.

"Look. Shouldn't you be off pranking Barnes' defence classroom or something?" Not that he was condoning pranks against his good friend, but if Barnes couldn't take a joke, then why the hell did they hang out, anyway?

Ravenclaw would have stopped being a house at all if people were deducting points for Rick's language. Ravenclaw would have receded into myth and would have retroactively ceased existing. It would have never existed at all. There is no Ravenclaw. Rick cursed it out of time and space.

"Who even cares?" He knows pretty much for a fact that Professor Stark absolutely does not actually care and is just saying this to sound Responsible and Adultlike.

He grins at the deflection. "Y-Yeah, wow, that wasn't obvious or anything. Listen, mmmaybe we just, just didn't see each other at all, right?"

He shrugs, wishing he had some booze on him.

"Already did that once today. Y-You gotta keep that sorta thing, you gotta use pranks sparingly, otherwise it's uh, it gets boring. G-Gets stale."

So there were probably times when every Slytherin asked themselves who the hell thought it was a smart idea to put a common room under the lake. There's no avoiding it because you can throw as many tapestries and spells around and sure, it works for the most part, but you're still under a lake. For the most part though it's kind of cool. You get windows into the lake, get to wave at the occasional mermaid that swims by, and get to see the squid come around to loom (friendly looming, like a tentacled puppy).

So the squid? Technical and honorary Slytherin and the first rule of Slytherin House? You mess with one snake, you get all the rest of 'em. Rick is okay enough on any other day, good for a drink or a smoke but this? Nah. Beyond not cool. Does the squid even have water in its little magical levitation bubble? Did you think that far ahead, Rick? All signs point to no.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Rafe storms up to Rick, glowering and already reaching for his own wand. "Put it back!"

Excuse you but he absolutely gave the squid a bit of water, and is even levitating the poor thing in such a way that he's simulating the exact water pressure the squid will be used to. So, sure, the squid might be confused and perhaps even concerned, but Rick isn't going to kill it or anything. Unless he drops it, haha.

"Aww, what? It looked so bored down there. B-Bet it's dreamed of flying since it was just a, a little calamari. I'm not hurting it!"

The squid waves its tentacles, slapping a few against the castle stone.

Given how Rick has a 95% chance of being high as hell on any given day? Yeah. That dropping is absolutely possible and nobody, nobody wants to clean up squid pancake.

Rafe almost asks how a squid manages to look bored, or whether Rick's become a tentacle-tongue in the last couple hours when nobody noticed. (Tentacle-tongue, the mentally deficient cousin of the parseltongue. Patent pending.) However, he thinks better of it and merely holds his wand at the ready — whether to help persuade Rick into putting the damn animal back or to spell Rick when he does screw up the enchantment.

"You're messing up a perfectly harmless squid is what you're doing. Look at it, it's got anxiety."

i can't believe how quickly we went to shitposting

wriggedywrecked - 2016-10-08 05:05 (UTC) - Expand

come on do you not know me at ALL

chardismastic - 2016-10-10 05:00 (UTC) - Expand

WHO ARE YOU AGAIN

wriggedywrecked - 2016-10-12 00:30 (UTC) - Expand

[John likes to hide himself away in towers around the castle sometimes, getting away from his extra-as-hell housemates to have some peace and quiet. It's kind of a secret that he has this journal in the first place, and God forbid if Dan or Sirius or anyone else sees it. It helps him get through his thoughts, but it's kind of embarrassing as hell.

John makes the climb, expecting to have some alone time to write, but he's pissed to find that it's already occupied. By this fucking guy.]

Sanchez.

[He looks up at the sound of approach, waving a bit to clear the smoke, not that it will matter. Tobacco and marijuana alike are pretty distinctive smells and hard to get rid of. He calms down a bit when he realizes it's this fucking guy.]

Ugh, Winchester.

[Yeah, he smells it alright, but honestly he's surprised to smell pot at Hogwarts. He'll blaze up with his muggle friends at home, he never thought about trying to grow some here.

Y'know, if he was any good at herbology. But he isn't. So.]

Did you grow that?

GIANT SQUID!!!

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Permission for a prefect or a teacher to threadjack?

ABSOLUTELY

Astronomy, yo!

YO!

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SQUID LIVES MATTER 2K16

Protect My Squid - PMS - the new SPEW

okay your naming privileges are revoked hand over your buttonmaking equipment asap

Astronomy Tower

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GIANT FUCKIN SQUID, MOTHERFUCKER

EXCELLENT

YAA

HOGSMEADE

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one thousand years dungeon

GOOD

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i feel terrible about this