black then white are all i see in my infancy [closed + open]

[determinedest]

Who: Frisk and a few closed prompts + a few open ones!
Where: Alphys's lab, by the vendors, maybe more?
When: 11/01 - 11/08-ish (may be subject to change)
Rating: PG-13 for children in peril, suicide ideation, depressive mindset, and bad decisions
Summary: Shit happened. Someone give this cast an intervention.
The Story:

[A hot oil-slick of numbers running through their mind in a burning cacophony does not lend itself to anything but pain, bright and blazing. It cuts into their teeth and their tongue and the inside of their cheeks - or maybe that is simply them biting deep into the flesh in their mouth to taste the warm tang of it to remind themself that they are not simply numbers they are not simply numbers they are not simply numbers they are real.

It crests in a burgeoning wave. There is no tide there is no pattern there is no regularity there is no respite it simply is and it tears through them, every jerk and wrench of their body shuddering in its place like hot marks shearing them open.

They can taste blood.

Is it yours?

Or mine?

It does not matter.]

Comments

[fulllifeconsequences]

[They don't know why she's bothering to linger. They don't even know what they lost. They think they've forgotten something, but... ha ha, there's no phantom pain if it's a clean enough amputation, right? You won't even notice it's not there.

...Guess it's not really much of a penance at all, in retrospect.

They don't bother to look at Alphys. They know she's not making eye contact, and they know that red eyes are scary. Why bother.]

Don't you have something more important to be doing right now, doctor? Every second that's wasted on unnecessary things is another second Frisk has to suffer.

[sciencelizard]

[She does look at them, when they speak. Thinks this would be the time in any show, where two negatives come together for the greater good, where a character says something that begins to build their friendship. Where she would fix it, somehow, and apologize for everything she'd done, for her own faults, and they wouldn't have to forgive her now, but it would be... something. Anything. To make them feel more secure. To make her feel less like a failure.]

Frisk doesn't t-think you're unnecessary. And they wouldn't be happy again if they lost you.

[It's not reassuring. It's not even loud. But she knows it's true.]

I can call Toriel to come be with you. If you, if you d-don't want to be alone.

[fulllifeconsequences]

I'm fine.

[It comes out forcefully, less brushing-off and more a full-body tackle. But why is she wasting time pitying them? They're the one who did something bad. If she has time for sympathy, then it should be going toward Frisk - toward the one who actually deserves it. They have no right to take up anyone's time, let alone someone important to making Frisk feel better.]

It's just a memory. Who cares? Nobody ever died from forgetting something.

I'll be okay on my own. Hurry up and get to work. Frisk's counting on you, not me.

[sciencelizard]

[She has the ability to pity both of you, you know. She's been doing it quietly for months. But she grits her teeth, thinks about how much she's forgotten, how much she wishes it would be good for someone else one day. That even they can turn her shortcomings into martyrdom where she could never be so useful.

So she exhales, mostly to steady herself.]

Okay. I'm gonna... g-go, and, uhm. Be safe, okay? Let Toriel know if you don't feel alright.

[She tries to smile, and it comes out more genuine then she thought.]

Thank you.

[And off she scurries, clutching the blueprints to her like a lifeline, off to her lab as fast as she can go.]