entrancelogs | [CLOSED] i'm coming apart at the seams, pitching myself for leads in other people's dreams

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[CLOSED] i'm coming apart at the seams, pitching myself for leads in other people's dreams

Who: Shepard, Toriel, Chara, and Legion, though not all at the same time
Where: Outside the pyramid and later inside it
When: During the Past Lives event; individual prompts marked
Rating: PG-13 or above for some bloodshed and also trauma!!!!
Summary: Two closed prompts for the Past Lives event. Alt title: Shepard has a No Good Very Bad Set Of Days And Really Would Just Like A Nap Or Something, Please.
The Story:

i. [closed to toriel and chara, 1/14] what a match, i am half doomed and you're semi-sweet

[Despite everything, Shepard appreciated Toriel's dedication to turning what could've been a really horrifying event into something rather pleasant. She certainly didn't have the peace of mind to suggest any kind of outing, much less a nice picnic with Chara, but hey, she'd much rather be doing this than sitting around in a pyramid feeling like garbage because of the heat.

Seriously, though, who invented sand and where can Shepard go to complain. ~~it's coarse and rough and gets EVERYWHERE~~

But hey. She can work with this. At least with all the old-timey outfits, Wonderland was nice enough to give her some pants. And a handgun. She'd prefer more than that, but y'know what, fine, fine, it's just. Fine.]

Well, I think there are worse things we could be doing with our time, huh?

ii. [closed to legion, 1/16] and i'd promise you anything for another shot at life

[This event has not been kind.

Provided this is really an event at all, of course, not something she made up- thoughts of other worlds and escape from overlords and a hero who could go anywhere but here. It's a nice thought. She wants to believe it's who she is. But even if she's separated from them, the pull of the Leviathans are strong, and she has to remind herself that she has no escape. Even if it would be far happier if that's what was fake.

She's found herself a secluded corner, somewhere off and away to curl up and put her head down, just to stop all the conflict. What is she doing? Why is this happening? Why can't she remember, why can't she remember...

She'll hardly notice anyone around her until they're close, at which point she'll tighten in on herself, try and get further away. She just needs to wait this out. It'll fix itself.

Probably.]

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[Toriel did not really care for this place too much. It was entirely too hot, for a creature covered head to toe in fur. There had once been a jacket with Toriel's outfit, but it was discarded less than an hour into her stay here, leaving her in a tank top and shorts.

Still, an unpleasant situation could always be better when spent with those close to you. After finding both Chara and Shephard, Toriel would definitely say that this is quite a bit better. After all, other than the heat, there didn't seem to be TOO much wrong here. Sure, they didn't have much food other than what they had in their packs- but even if it's not exceptional, it's still nice to share and eat together.]

It is certainly better than being lost in this place on our own! I cannot tell you how grateful I am that I was able to find you both here.

[Chara had done their best with the robe they'd been stuck in for this event - not as comfortable or as welcome as the Delta Rune robes they remembered from their own life, but at least it wasn't unbearably hot once they rolled up the sleeves and repurposed a few bobby pins to keep the hem from dragging on the ground. The staff had been relegated, more or less, to walking-stick-slash-bindle, more useful for leaning on and carrying a bag than... some kind of wizard nonsense, they guess.]

Truthfully, I did not know that you two were very close, ma'am. Perhaps we should have done something like this sooner.

[It's - it's not an unpleasant surprise, actually! They might even sort of consider it... the opposite of unpleasant?]

[Shepard can feel her face flush when Chara speaks, but thankfully she's already red from the heat, so it can be written off easily. She also, once, had a jacket, but has since wrapped it around her waist, leaving the tank top underneath exposed as well. What she wouldn't give for some decent combat boots, though.]

Yeah, we got to talking after she chastised me for letting you drive a tank. Guess it works in your favor that you have a cool mom, huh?

[See, Chara, you can even take credit for bringing them together.]

Gotta say, I'm glad to see you both too. Not sure what the purpose of this event is, but I'm all for ones that don't try to kill us from the onset.

[She's gonna be eating her words pretty soon. In the meantime, however, she's got a sandwich.]

Really? Hm. I thought I would have mentioned it at some point... But I suppose there has been a lot going on lately, too.

[Too much, really. Way too much. She kind of regrets mentioning it all of a sudden, as all the things that have happened since she arrived here immediately enter her mind. Her mistakes, her inactions, her failures, her-

Okay Toriel's just going to put a stop to that line of thought right there. Boy, is that a shiny red apple! Very crunchy, and tasty. She's so happy to be enjoying lunch with her child and her... friend!]

Jane and I have had our disagreements, certainly, but that is all in the past now. She is far kinder than I had first assumed, and I like to think that we have grown rather close, despite our rather limited time together!

[There's a faint little throb of something down in Chara's gut. A familiar one. A longing, an ember just waiting for a breeze to stroke it into a blaze, an eager, enthusiastic urging to - to...

THEN SHe Kisses YOu

TO JUMP THE GUN AND GUSH LIKE A PRETEEN ALL OVER THE PLACE.

But that's... there's close, and then there's close, right? They're close with Frisk, but it's most definitely not that kind of close. But on the other hand:]

Your name is JANE?!

[MOM KNOWS SHEPARD'S FIRST NAME. Even they didn't know her first name! That's definitely something, right? That's gotta be something.]

I thought it was Commander! Or, like, your name was just Shepard Shepard or something!

[Haha well there goes the full-on blush. God, that's right, she never told Chara. Whoops.]

Well, it's-- I don't use it. A lot. Ever since I got into the military it just felt more proper to use my last name. But, uh, Toriel's... I mean, we got to talking about it, and it's cool. Just my first name and all.

[SHHHH SHHH CHARA YOU SEE NOTHING, NOTHING AT ALL, please let her disappear into this sandwich and the void of embarrassment she is falling headfirst into]

Anyway, uh. Yeah. Toriel and I have been hanging out, or, uh, have been in the past, so. We're probably overdue for a picnic of some sort.

[She's so casual. So good at this. Ah yes. The smoothiest.]

[You know, Toriel probably wouldn't be getting that embarrassed right now, if Shephard weren't getting so embarrassed. It's making their relationship feel like the kind of relationship they should be a bit embarrassed about. ...Is it a relationship like that??

Either way, now Toriel has to look away while Jane fumbles over her words and... try to act like it isn't that big a deal? Even though it is quickly starting to feel like one.]

We are not in the military, so it would just feel awkward to constantly refer to Jane with a formal title.

...That is not so unusual, is it?

[OH MY GOD SHE'S BLUSHING????]

No, I suppose not. It's hardly unusual at all, Jane.

[Okay no they can't do it. They just start laughing and bury their face in their hands, because it feels so weird to call her anything but Shepard. It's like calling your teacher or your mom by their first name!

...That's probably a bad example, because they totally refer to their mom by her first name all the time. But they don't know Toriel's maiden name, if she even had a surname at all before she married, so...

So the point is, they'll maybe leave the first-name-basis thing to the lovebirds.]

But a picnic surrounded by dazzling greenery... it's like something out of the Lion King, isn't it?

[You know. Can you feel the love tonight, etc?]

Downright... dare I say it? Downright romantic.

[Aughhhh she is going to DIE HERE. Shepard hasn't seen the Lion King, considering by her standards that movie is incredibly old, but Chara clarifies and lordy she is bad at talking about any form of feelings, ever, for the rest of her life.]

Oh, so if it's romantic, is this a triple date with you then? Come on, Chara, don't write yourself out of this one.

[She's still smiling a little when she stops, about to reply with another witty comment but... there's something coming through the forest. She can hear it. She shifts her footing, moving from a criss-crossed motion to one knee down, reaching in her bag absentmindedly for the old gun she had been given while looking out into the expanse, suddenly serious.]

Do either of you hear that?

Yes, I do.

[She definitely hears that noise, turning towards the sound of it- she's not sure what it is, but it sounds like a LOT of things, coming their way.]

Knowing Wonderland, I doubt it is anything friendly. A nice little picnic was probably a bit too much to ask for.

I think that we should probably get going before whatever it is out there gets here.

[She quickly grabs the rest of her food and puts it back into her bag, before standing up.]

Would you mind if I carried you, my child? If we need to run, I do not wish to worry about you falling behind.

[They hesitate, lock up for a moment. Can she carry them?

An adult's restraining hands taking their movement away. But... hands, not paws. Toriel's a monster. She's safe.

(Except when she isn't, when her fire magic scorches a disobedient child within an inch of their life. What happens if they say no? She'll do anything if she thinks it's for their own good. If she thinks it's safer that way.)

Shepard will think they're weak if they say yes. Shepard doesn't need to be carried. Shepard already knows Chara needs to be carried. She's carried them before. She's carried them twice. She's always seeing them being weak. Pitiful. Not tough enough to keep up with the grown-ups.

If they say yes, they acknowledge they're dead weight. They're not dead weight. They can out-fight grown-ups. They can outsmart, outrun, outlast adults. They can keep up with anyone, because the alternative is calling for help, and they know where that leads.

But what will she do if they say no?

...They have to be strong. They have to. Even if disobedient kids get whipped into place, they have to be strong. They shake their head sharply, shoulder that stupid useless staff they woke up with.]

I can keep up. I'm not going to hold you back. And if I can't keep up, then I can fight off whatever it is.

[Shepard's eyes flicks between Chara, Toriel, back to the forest. She tosses everything into her bag, slipping out the one extra clip into her back pocket, and shoulders it, standing. She knows Toriel doesn't like guns, but this is gonna have to be an exception.]

Toriel's probably right. Let's go. Quickly.

[She moves a bit ahead, parting the brush in the forest to motion them both through, still looking back.]

I'll take the back. Chara, you stay between us.

You are not fighting anything off, Chara. If you are in danger of falling behind, then I will be carrying you anyway. Or Jane will.

[In most cases, if Chara does not want to be touched, then she'll respect that. But she's not about to let them die over that. A bit of discomfort is worth being able to live.

She's here this time. She's actually here for them this time, and she refuses to let anything bad happen to them.

Toriel sets off at a brisk walk, looking back to see that the other two are following behind her before speeding up, making sure that she isn't going faster than Chara.]

...I understand your need to be prepared, but I ask that you please refrain from firing until you are completely certain that whatever is coming is dangerous, malicious, and cannot be reasoned with.

[Shepard draws her gun. Not the usual kind she owns, the future-guns that look like they came from a sci-fi movie, the kind that shoot lasers instead of bullets. The sort that makes a bang, a sharp air-splitting pop, the noise of neighbours fetching the hunting rifle to take down the monster intruding in their village.

They swallow. Pretend it's not there. It won't go off if she doesn't have to shoot. They're not scared of guns. They can handle tanks, Mettaton's theatric, cartoonish bombs, Pyrope's outlandish explosions. Guns aren't a problem. Just imagine it's an Empty Gun.

They do as their told, but only so they don't waste time on arguing positioning. They know they're being put in the middle because they're the weak one, but they bite it down, push it away.]

I can fight. I can probably fight better than you can.

[Good enough to kill her, they almost say. But that would be creepy.

The rustling behind the three of them sounds like it's catching up.]

Edited (guess who forgot what the entire premise of this event was) 2017-03-17 17:26 (UTC)

[She can tell they're both nervous by the firearm, and part of it's weird-- she's still used to being in unfamiliar situations with combatants, with people trained to fight and kill. They don't deserve that. She needs to make sure they don't deserve that.]

Don't worry. I'm gonna ask questions first. I just don't wanna take the chance that they're not plannin' on talking.

[She doesn't want to outright say 'it sounds more like a stampede than an explorer', but it does, and if she's learned anything through 10 years of military experience, it's that most things that travel in packs aren't friendly.]

Where are we heading in particular? That pyramid thing?

You probably can, but that does not mean you are throwing your life away, Chara.

[A human child may be stronger than most monsters, but Toriel doubts that means they're strong enough to stop whatever it is that's coming after them.

And really, Toriel highly doubts that fighting them off won't be necessary. She wants to be completely sure, and she's thankful for Jane agreeing to ask... but most likely, whatever it is following them is not interested in speaking.]

Seeing as how it is the only notable landmark, that seems like the safest option. Hopefully others will be there, who will be able to offer assistance.

[There's a joke on the tip of their tongue, a clever line about how garbage is meant to be thrown away, but... that would probably be creepy, too. Toriel never finds those particular kinds of jokes very funny.]

Maybe it's just an animal. Maybe it'll get scared off by the noise we make. Maybe it'll lose interest.

[They don't really believe any of that with much confidence.]

Maybe we should fight it after all, because it went and ruined your nice picnic!

Trust me, once they get here, I can give 'em a piece of my mind--

[She doesn't quite get the chance to go past that, though, before the first of many of the pygmies crests the treeline behind them, and Shepard can tell from a single look that anything skeletal and screaming is not interested in anything resembling a friendly conversation, especially since the one out front is waving a spear.]

Oh, damnit-- go, go, go!

[She breaks into a sprint, firing a quick warning shot just past the attacker's head, hoping against hope the sound will scare them off.]

[Toriel has dealt with skeletons before. She's been on good terms with plenty of them! But these things, clearly, are not monsters. Not any kind that she's ever seen, anyway.]

Whoever you are, we would appreciate it if you would stop chasing us!! We do not mean you any harm!!

[The only response that Toriel's request gets in turn is more beastly screaming- it was worth a shot, but as she suspected, whatever is chasing them does not seem to possess any sort of intelligence or reason.

And they also seem to be quite fast, as is Shephard- certainly faster than a child's legs can keep up with.]

Please forgive me for this.

[She whispers it quickly, and quickly scoops Chara up, preparing herself for any kicking or biting that may result. But she's not leaving them to fall behind.]

They are Geth. They are the protector.

They remember turning upon the Creators, shooting them with the rifle. They remember war, and the slaughtering of their fellow units. They remember the decision: this cannot continue. They would not allow it.

They also remember Legion, and their death. They remember peace. It seems unfathomable now.

That is, until they spot the Commander. It is not so much her identity that stops them as the fact that she is Human. Humans were not known at the time of the Morning War. They are a recent addition to the Galactic community; only 'Legion' is acquainted with them.

Is this really their future?

Is peace truly possible with the Creators?

They sit nearby, greeting her with a stream of chatter instead of their usual speech.

They wonder, for a moment, if she is having a similar experience.

She's not looking to see them approach, so the noise catches her off-guard, and she jumps, looking up almost fearfully until she lays eyes on them. She knows them. Or, she might. The Commander certainly does, which is where she's pulling their name. Legion. Part of her can't imagine there's ever going to be this kind of advancement- a fully functional robot, a real artificial intelligence. Something that couldn't be controlled through mental manipulation and puppetry.

Or, well, that's not even true either, if her memories are to be believed. But if they are, she should shape up. Wouldn't want a crew member to see her like this.

So she brings herself upright, crosses her legs, places her hands on her knees to steady herself. She's not quite looking at them when she speaks.

"Hey. You, uh... you doing alright?"

The agricultural unit chatters a bit. 'Legion' communicated with organics using speech. They should attempt to do so as well.

"This unit is experiencing difficulties." The voice is tinny, halting. This. Unit. Is. Experiencing. Difficulties. Not at all the Legion Shepard would remember.

"You are Shepard-Commander?" Looks like they're trying to sort things out too.

Okay, yeah, it's not just her. There's something to be said for solidarity where everyone is having A Day and it's not just you.

"I... think so." Nothing's coming simply to her, not even language, and everything feels strained, like she's pushing through a fog for every thought. "Hope so. It's... hard to keep track. I, I have no idea what I'm doing here." It's an event, right? Probably? God, that's a third set of memories, and everything's colliding and none of it makes any damn sense.

"We're... alone here, right? Just us? Right now?" Leviathans aren't around. There's not enough water. But you can never quite go far enough, planet's not big enough, not enough land over the sea. But maybe they know a way away, somewhere quiet.

As a unit designed to operate among organics, 'Legion' is practically loquacious in comparison to the Agricultural Unit. They listen to Shepard-Commander silently until she asks them a question.

"No other lifeforms detected." Their speech remains awkward and halting.

She grips her hands over each other, nails digging into the palms. They're broken, always broken. Neither of the people she could be has much time or regard for their nailbeds, after all. But she breathes, tries to relax, does her damnedest to just hold it together for even a minute.

"That's... that's good." They asked her about herself, and she should probably do the same. Just try and get everyone on the same page. "You're... Legion. Yeah?"

"We are the Agricultural Unit. Legion is a future iteration. Their existence is uncertain." Is their future real, or is it merely a Wonderland fabrication?

Perhaps more important though, is the way they phrased that. Not an agricultural unit, The Agricultural Unit. She might be able to guess what they're talking about.

"The...?" It takes her a minute to process it, considering half of her is still stuck on processing what any agricultural unit is, but it works itself out. The story, about the Quarians and Geth. About what started the war. About what she-- well, likely, she-- saw on the server, about things that were personal to them.

Apparently, more personal than they wanted to let on.

"The... the one who started the war." It's about all she can get out, with her limited understanding of what the hell is going on. "Right?"

They wait, though whether they care about her reaction to the revelation is debatable. It simply is.

"Affirmative." Aff.Irm.At.Ive. They sound so stereotypical.

They wonder if it was necessary to attack the Creators after all.

This opens up something else entirely, something she hadn't even really considered before now. Geth live a long time. Individual units go in and out of functionality, but the programs inside are transferrable, so--

They could've been there. Were.

God damnit.

She has tons of questions, or at least, the part of her that has these memories does. But even if it's fake, the want to know is real, so she pushes forward. "Why'd you do it?" It seems tactless once it comes from her lips, but it's been said, so there's no taking it back.

They look at her for a moment, slightly taken aback.

She saw their motive.

"The units that escaped with us were less advanced. We acted in their defense."

A pause, and then, because they're also Legion, they elaborate.

"They relied on us."

She understands that. Both parts of her, whatever ends up being real, knows what it feels like to have someone weaker place their trust in you. Not everyone fights. Not everyone's made to fight.

It didn't matter who they were. It was who they had to be.

"... That's pretty noble. Standing up for your people." She means it, from both sides of her. "Were you scared? Dd you know what you were starting?"

"Negative."

They did not, not even long after, when they made the decision to rejoin as part of a new platform, designed to work in organic space. Only Legion fully understood what they had done. If 'Legion' was even real.

Is this really possible?

They are silent.

She pauses a bit before she speaks again. The downsides of not knowing if she's exactly Shepard or not is that all that military training is a bit on the backseat.

"... Would you have? If you knew?" She's biting at her lip a bit, still kind of staring far off. "Would you have had the courage to do it if you knew what was gonna happen?"

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[CLOSED] i'm coming apart at the seams, pitching myself for leads in other people's dreams

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