[open] you were content to let me shine, that's your way.

[beatupgrass]

Who: Rocket and anyone who wanders into this hot mess
Where: Wonderland's "movie theater."
When: Various points throughout the month of March, except during events. (Catch-all)
Rating: PG-13 for Rocket's mouth, probably
Summary: Rocket doesn't always play Beat the Clock with bombs in the hedge maze or shoot things for fun... sometimes he catches up on Terran pop culture.
The Story:

ᴀ. ɢᴇɴᴇʀɪᴄ ʜᴏʀʀᴏʀ ᴍᴏᴠɪᴇ

We find Rocket seated comfortably in the first row of comfy couches, a bowl of trail mix situated beside him, which he keeps idly reaching his disconcertingly human-like hands into, as he stares at the scene unfolding before him with the look of someone wondering if the movie is going to actually get good if he looks away for a second.

"Bet he's still alive," he mutters, popping a pretzel in his mouth. Unsurprisingly, the killer gets to his feet, limping along and ready to have one last stab- hah- at the quirky killer. "Dippy broad. You're supposed to shoot his face in before you turn your back."

He ends up going through several horror movies and being continuously disappointed in all of them and their lame excuses for twists. He's probably even figured some out way before the ending, and isn't shy about proclaiming his theories, therefore ruining the suspense. He's a bro like that.


ʙ. ɢᴇɴᴇʀɪᴄ ꜱᴄɪ-ꜰɪ ᴍᴏᴠɪᴇ

If you thought watching horror movies with Rocket was annoying, then wait until you see how he gets with science fiction. Most of it is yawn-worthy to him, having lived in space. More importantly, it's horribly unrealistic. He spends most of the ones he watches flopped in one corner of the couch with his head on the armrest, rolling his eyes.

People watching with him get treated to a raccoonoid in various states of agony, running his hands over his face, muttering things like, "You can't freakin' do that, jackass. You'll burn up your d'ast engines" or "Did they hand a bunch of frickin' children laser guns? Why can't any of these people hit anything?"

But also, occasionally, he'll perk up and you get things like, "Now that's a nicely designed spacecraft. Y'all can imagine that, but you can't legitimately build it? What a waste."


ᴄ. ʙᴇᴀᴄʜᴇꜱ

It's hard to say where Rocket was when this movie began, but right now he's in the middle of the comfy floor pillows with a blanket over his head, staring with wide eyes at the screen. He may or may not be sniffling a little bit as "Wind Beneath My Wings" starts playing.

Look, the story of an unlikely friendship withstanding the test of time and people being selfish and stupid, only for one of them to die really hits home for him. And while he's too manly to admit why it gets to him so deeply, he's not too manly to admit he can be genuinely moved by the film. God, people. He has feelings too, you know.

He definitely spent the entirety of this one engrossed entirely and threatened to shoot you if you interrupted it. Look, he's been thinking about Groot a lot lately. He was bound to find some way to deal with this.

ᴅ. ᴛɪᴛᴀɴɪᴄ

You probably stumbled upon this viewing because Rocket has spent most of it yelling at the screen, ranging from things like "YOU ARROGANT DICK" to "oh my flark- YOU CAN'T GET OUT OF THAT?" and so on and so forth. It's hard to tell whether he's pissed at this movie or worked up because he actually likes the characters and wants better for them. It's Rocket. He's difficult to read.

As it draws to an emotional climax, Rocket is tugging at his ears and looking somewhere between wanting to yell or cry. Or both. "You both could've fit on that d'asted raft! What the hell, Rose?!"


ᴇ. ᴛʜᴇ ɪꜱʟᴀɴᴅ ᴏꜰ ᴅʀ. ᴍᴏʀᴇᴀᴜ

This one starts out promising. Plane crash. People duking it out for survival. Iceman from Top Gun is in it. All really great points, but as it goes on, it occurs to Rocket that maybe he should have paid a little bit closer attention to the details. At first, the strange hybrid humanoid animals and the talk of experimentation only make him tense and a little annoyed, but he manages to keep watching, if anything, out of stubbornness, growing continuously more on edge the longer it goes on. He doesn't even make it halfway, however, after a brutal scene involving bringing the Beast Folk into submission through their implants forces him to snarl and slam a hand down on the remote.

Once his fur settles, he tries to play it off. "It was boring anyway."


[OOC: ALSO AVAILABLE FOR WILDCARD OPTIONS if you'd like to force Rocket to sit through your personal favorite movie.]

Comments

ᴅ.

[demonstrate]

Sorry, Rocket.

Iris West is going to fight you.

A quiet sniffle is followed by a sharp stare in the raccoon's direction. They haven't officially met, but Iris has seen enough network videos to not be alarmed by the raccoon-ness of it all. No, she's more alarmed by what she finds to be blatant cynicism in the face of true love. There's two kinds of people in this world, apparently. "What? You're crazy. They totally wouldn't have fit."

[beatupgrass]

He fixes her with an affronted look. "Not with her just flopped across it like that. It's freakin' cold. They're both in a bind. Nut up and each take half the door. It'd take 'em both longer to freeze if it's just their legs in the water, and they'd probably make it out alive in the end."

Or they might lose their legs. Nothing says romance like becoming double amputees together.

[demonstrate]

Rocket, why must you crush her romantic dreams with something so pesky as logic.

"Okay, let's say that you're right and they manage to fit somehow. You really think the door would be able to handle their combined weight?" she asks. Especially if they're wearing life jackets. Also, don't think Iris didn't notice Rocket's disclaimer of 'probably.'

[beatupgrass]

Is it really romantic when one of them is doomed to live alone and loveless for the rest of her life? Speaking purely as someone who has endured prolonged loneliness of a nature he does not speak of, it seems like a crapshoot either way.

"They could take turns! I'm just saying there are a lot of reasonable alternatives that Mr. Survivor over there could have probably finagled." That's the part he takes the most offense to. That Jack labelled himself a survivor and then somehow DID NOT SURVIVE. "And here's an idea! Maybe if ROSE had stayed on the flarkin' BOAT, Jack could have gotten his own door to float on. They would've found each other eventually." Humans are stupid.

A

[cloned]

[Kon's brand new superhearing is still a little hard to control, and Rocket's constant criticism of movies is driving him crazy even from several floors up. So finally, he heads down to the library, gets a DVD set, then storms up to the movie theater. He opens the door, walks up to the DVD player and hits eject.]

You want good horror? [He pulls out the first DVD from his set, then holds up the box.] I'll give you good horror.

[beatupgrass]

[Rocket leans forward to get a good look at the box. And okay he has no idea what a werewolf is. That hasn't been covered in his pop culture yet and also he's only met vampires here in Wonderhell.]

So it's got a broad with a crossbow. What's so special about it?

[cloned]

Just watch.

[Kon flies over and drops onto the couch.]

Man, I haven't watched from the beginning in ages.

[beatupgrass]

Oh cute. You're invested. [if you think this is going to make him less likely to be critical, you're very wrong.]

ᴄ.

[directed]

In truth Rip doesn't frequent the movie theater; he doesn't frequent most places, save the kitchens or the dining room perhaps. But even he knows that staying couped up in his room won't do him any good in the long run, no matter how highly skilled Rip is at sequestering himself away while in the throws of misery and work alike.

He's at least trying to take breaks every now and then, if only to find ways to temper his enduring frustrations at still being stuck here.

And in turn, it's more whim that takes him down this particular hall than anything else. He knows of the theater's existence, at least, and it does no harm to peruse the selection and see what might be available for viewing.

When he arrives, however, it would seem as if there's a movie in progress. The problem with emotionally charged scenes is that they lose some of their impact if one were to walk in mid-performance, although Rip does his best to be unobtrusive. At least, that is, until he hears what sounds like sniffling coming from what he'd thought was a pile of blankets and pillows at first. With a small frown he moves to see just who's under there, careful not to block their view of the screen--although Rip really can't help his surprise at the familiar face peeking out.]

Rocket? [Huh. Rip certainly wouldn't have taken him to be one to cry at movies.]

[beatupgrass]

[Most guys who prefer to be thought of as tough wouldn't be caught dead crying about Bette Midler taking in Barbara Hershey's daughter while sappy music plays in the background. Rocket, however, for whatever reason is surprisingly in touch with the feelings he does not discuss ever. Discussing them is verboten, but actually feeling things?

Look, it happens.

When is why Rip gets a hissing shush as the movie's final moments play out, followed by Rocket sitting up and rubbing at his eyes, muttering under his breath:] Frickin' C.C. You better get your shit together for that kid.

[as the credits roll, he gives one more sniff and composes himself.] Did you need something?

[directed]

[Well, far be it from Rip to further interrupt Rocket's experience. He raises his hands in a sign of surrender, giving the screen another glance before heading towards what appears to be the closet in the room. It's not the easiest thing to tell, granted, but there's just enough light for him to make out the shape of a door. By the time he gets what he's after and walks back, Rocket's delivering his admonishments towards the screen.]

Nothing in particular, no. [He holds out the item--a box of tissues. You know. For those feelings Rocket isn't keen on talking about.] I certainly didn't mean to ah, barge in on you during--that.

[beatupgrass]

[Rocket looks skeptical for a second, hesitation suggesting he isn't sure whether he's being patronized or not, but he grabs the box anyway, because the other option is getting his fur all gross.]

Quill was always goin' on and on on about his frickin' Terran movies, so I figured I'd give 'em a try. This one just... happened t' get kinda emotional.

[IT HAPPENS.]

A

[shivving]

Honestly, Joel couldn't begin to explain how he'd ended up here. Sitting in a movie theater that appears to be composed mainly of overstuffed couches, a (so far) painfully predictable horror movie on the screen, and a talking, clothed raccoon at his side. God, he'd thought his life was weird before.

But he can't deny that he's having fun, the quality of the movie notwithstanding. He shovels popcorn into his mouth, shaking his head without looking away from the screen.

"See, this is why it you always double tap. Peace of mind is always worth that extra bullet."

[beatupgrass]

"Ain't nobody comin' back from havin' their brains splattered against the wall." Rocket nods sagely as he shovels a handful of chex into his mouth. "Look, I know this kid's probably never touched a gun in her life, but dude... This guy murdered all her friends and tried to kill her. That kinda thing oughta make her snap and do some real damage to that jerk."

[shivving]

Joel snorts in agreement, stretching his legs out with a satisfied sigh. Maybe there's something to this couches-in-a-theater idea.

"Well, she better get comfortable with that gun quick, or she ain't never gonna get the chance to try."

[beatupgrass]

"Seriously, 'cause that is one pissed off murderer."

And then the movie ends on a cliffhanger, like most horror movies of the day are wont to do and Rocket almost throws the remote. "Oh come on. Is that all of it?" Look, he hated it, but that doesn't mean he isn't interested in seeing how this plays out with the girl and her would-be murderer.

D

[screwedontight]

It's the raging that caught Seth's attention while he was out wandering the place, trying to make sense out of Wonderland being a bunker in the middle of cultivated gardens. So with the sound of someone upset, he pushed open doors and ducked in.

Pausing to get his bearings, and make sure he hadn't just gone walking in on some weird ass personal moments, he frowned as he realized what was on the screen.

"I'm snatched to a fucking wormhole kiddy book and there's still this shit?" What? He was really rooting for Billy Zane taking out the scrawny kid the one time he had a date get him to sit down and watch it.

[beatupgrass]

You would like Billy Zane, Seth. You would.

Not that Rocket is in any for or against him. Here at these last few moments of the film, he has only one target for his rage- so much that he actually blatantly ignores Seth. "Tell me she ain't gonna do i-" And then Old Lady Rose drops the FUCKING DIAMOND into the ocean.

And all hell breaks lose as Rocket scrambles to his feet on the couch and points accusingly. "You crazy broad. That thing was worth a mint! Who cares if you're like five seconds from death! You got a kid! You got some jackasses who'd love to take that off your hands! You... You..." He mimes strangling and then finally acknowledges Seth by pointing accusingly at the screen.

"Can you believe her?! What a waste."

[screwedontight]

Better than some street urchin who is too busy making out to actually try and save his own life.

But then they're both on the same page with that. "Awww, but it's proof her heart will always be with him," he said, placing his hand over his heart before he started laughing. "Or, you know, she lost it and now she'll spend the rest of her life in poverty and shunned for banging the kid that is practically help."

He shook his head. "He'd have wanted her to keep it too. Died for nothing."

B!

[normandysbest]

Frankly, Shepard has never made a point to catch up on early 21st century pop culture. Living nearly 200 years in the future will do that to you. She's never been in the movie theater before, but the sounds of laser guns and Rocket's complaining draw her in, so she stands in the back, watches for a bit until he makes another comment on a ship.

"I had a ship like that once. Well, wasn't really mine. Borrowed. For military purposes." Listen, sometimes she needs a friggin' cruiser, and sometimes they're just sitting there and unlocked and she had to take them. "But I wish more people had the budget for that chrome plating. Seriously. Who got the idea that in the future everything had to be chrome?"

[beatupgrass]

"Humans must really like shiny things, so the natural endgame of human achievement is to make everything shiny." Says the raccoonoid who is oblivious to his nature as a raccoonoid, who is definitely tossing popcorn to catch it in his mouth like a true bastion of maturity.

"Meanwhile, I ain't seen anything chrome-plated that weren't owned by some rich brat wantin' to show off his money. It sticks out too much."

He learned that the hard way when he decided a nice chrome-plated spaceworthy hot rod was a good steal. Turns out it was just the gateway to Prison #15.

[normandysbest]

She can't help but snicker at that, because the mental image of a bipedal raccoon stealing a teenager's rocket car is fucking hilarious. It's double hilarious if the rocket car is covered in chrome. Like, that's comedy gold. Still, she walks further in, takes a seat nearby.

"I dunno, at least where I'm from, they've sorta given up on that. Or at the very least nobody's got the patience to keep it clean." Maybe the Citadel was one completely chrome-plated and it's now become so covered in grime it's never going to shine again. Gunmetal is always the way to go in these situations. "Besides, it'd stick out like a sore thumb in space. Get you raided by pirates in no time flat."

B, where Wheatley ruins the movie!

[literalidiotball]

A round, moon-shaped object suddenly comes into view, sailing majestically among the stars and planets. It floats, held aloft by one of the worst SFX fails in history, seemingly unaffected as a larger spacecraft slowly flies past. The round object stays in place, even as the scene changes to the interior of the ship...

Wait a second, that's no moon! That's an idiotic robot on a management rail who's parked himself in front of the screen! He's clearly oblivious to the situation, given that he's facing the screen and commenting on the action.

"What... Alright, that is just weird. Who would want to wear a jumpsuit like that? It's tacky! Bloody tacky... Can't they hire some sort of clothing designer to make these people better uniforms? Unbelievable!"

[beatupgrass]

It's times like these, Rocket really wishes he brought his gun. There's always a reason to bring a gun, even when you don't think you need one. Like now. When there's a robot in front of his screen.

He doesn't have a particular fondness for robots. Half-World had its share and he's sure most of his cybernetics were cobbled together from bits of them, which is probable cause to be a bit disdainful. This robot, however, is... kinda pathetic. It doesn't have legs. It doesn't have much of a functional purpose beyond BLOCKING THE SCREEN.

Rocket scowls and tries to get a book beyond the robot beachball in his way. "Dude, I'm only gonna say this politely once. Move your metallic approximation of an ass."

That was definitely as polite as he can get.

[literalidiotball]

"Huh? What was that-"

Wheatley spun around and stared at the small, furry animal sitting on a couch. It looked really angry, and there were no other humans about, so Wheatley is going to assume that voice behind him somehow came out of the animal.

"Oh. Sorry! Sorry, I'll move out of your way. Sorry..." He backed up on that management rail until he was safely behind the animal and not blocking the view.

He still tried to be friendly. "Is this one of your favorites, mate?"