entrancelogs | closed | i can't imagine a world with you gone

( sharp tears threaten to well up in elena's own eyes, her hand darting out to cup the back of his head with a tenderness. bonnie would want elena to take care of him, and even if elena wasn't so sure of bonnie's wishes, elena would want elena to take care of him. beyond their fighting and their disagreements on what is right, peter is still her friend. he never stopped being her friend. and no one will quite understand how much this loss stings the way peter does.

her hold on him tightens in some futile attempt to give him what must be hollow comfort. it's only a significant moment or two later that she draws back, her palms bracing themselves on his shoulders to keep them connected. her smile is sad: she doesn't have to say it. she's grateful she doesn't have to. )

She left something for you.

( several somethings. peter should have them. )

...what? I-

( distantly, peter can hear his aunt may remind him of manners. there's no reason to have a serious conversation out in the hallway like this, which is why he takes a step back. he tilts his head in the direction of his room to open that invitation to her. she's allowed inside. of course- of course, peter still considers her a friend.

but he wouldn't blame her if she didn't feel the same.

once she's inside, he clears his throat. )

What'd she leave?

( elena draws in a deep breath and steps inside. it's not strange to find herself in his room after all this time, not really. elena's fought with the people she loves over worse, and friendships are never truly severed. if anything, she regrets not factoring peter's guilt complex into the equation.

she should be familiar with guilt complexes, right? )

I don't know. ( but she'll rummage her leather satchel until she retrieves a box, lifting it up in peter's direction. ) She never told me, but she had a fail-safe for all of us in case ... ( well. in case this very thing happened. as much as she doesn't want to, elena needs to consider her own fail-safe. )

( peter stares. and then stares some more like he can't quite. if this is what bonnie has left him, if it's her last communication to him then he can't- he doesn't know that he can open it straight away. he wants to savor it. he wants to not finish it all off by opening up this box.

he holds it in his hands.

stares at his hands, at the box.

it's why maybe he changes tactics, because he still feels like- like he failed elena, failed their friendship. he hasn't had many of those, and- )

I saw what Fitz did, and- and I never anticipated it. He was my friend, and I thought we'd talk about- about what it felt and meant together. Not- not what he did. ( not klaus knowing now about what happened too, not. all of it. ) I spoke to him afterward. I quit.

I know it doesn't change anything.

( elena suspected that peter might not want to open the box in front of her, or right away. it's nothing she takes personally. she would probably want to do the same thing. once he opens that box, it all becomes sort of final. it's all he'll have left of bonnie, outside of whatever was already in his room when bonnie would stay over.

small blessings.

still, peter wanting to defer the situation for as long as possible doesn't make the subject he does land on any easier. )

It's okay, Peter.

( and it is. it's hard to get elena mad, and it's harder to get her to stay mad, really. she understands why he did it, especially if it felt like he could trust fitz. she forgets sometimes ... her world and her acceptance of it is not the norm. it never should be. ) Are you sure quitting is the answer?

( peter can tell she's not mad anymore. not that he ever blamed her for being mad in the first place. it's why he went to her directly, because he understood the weight of what he'd done. )

He told Klaus what I told him so yeah, it- I had to. I needed him to get how serious it was so he wouldn't tell anyone else, and he does now. I couldn't work there anymore.

( peter remembers. he still remembers what the kid version of fitz had said, and he doesn't know what to do with that either. he shuts his eyes, holding the box in his hands. he'd planned on talking about it with bonnie, but then she wasn't there at all. he talked to her in the lab to be sure she was okay, and they spent time with each other.

and.

he wishes he'd known it would be the last time. he'd have said something different, more. they kissed. he remembers her mouth on his own and then she'd said something completely bonnie-like which immediately made him smile despite the seriousness of it all. )

( elena's nod is simple. )

I understand not wanting to work there anymore, but that doesn't mean your friendship has to be over. ( she realizes how that sounds, considering damon is the person fitz unsettled with his knowledge of vampires. but she knows a thing or two about forgiveness, and she doesn't want peter to isolate himself. ) Look, I don't know him, but I do know we do things we regret when we're scared, or we want to protect ourselves.

( or protect the people that they love. )

Wonderland's hard enough. We shouldn't have to lose the people we care about while they're here. ( one day it might be too late. )

( peter lets out the breath trapped in his chest. he didn't tell elena because he wanted her to have to worry about it, but he knows it's- it's who she is. he doesn't know what he's going to do about it, but he takes her words seriously. he takes them into his heart, and he'll be sure to step forward with those ideas in mind. even if he doesn't really know what to do about fitz. is he supposed to bridge the gap? it hurts his head to try to think about so he doesn't, which leaves him back where he started. at the subject he's been avoiding ever since he came across bonnie's empty room. )

Thank you, Elena. I'll think about it.

( his voice is soft but genuine. he doesn't ever really open up to people, and yeah. his thumb spans the length of the box now, biting down on his lip. maybe he doesn't want to wait. )

Did you open what Bonnie left for you yet?

Yeah, I did.

( a faint smile reaches her lips, and she feels that persistent knot clogging her throat again. )

It was a chest box with several things inside of it, including a spelled black dagger. ( bonnie would be there cheering her on whenever elena practiced throwing knives, after all. bonnie would tease, goad, and push elena every time she needed it. her eyes threaten to sting with tears. ) She was always protecting me.

( sometimes in ways elena didn't deserve. sometimes in ways that were detrimental to her, ways elena doesn't even realize. )

Edited 2017-03-20 15:25 (UTC)

( peter nods, achingly, and he sees all those emotions in her expression reflected in the way his chest feels right now like it's being torn apart from the inside. the three of them have- had been here for a year, and now it's just the two of them who remain.

he doesn't know why he didn't worry more about it except if they spend all their time here worried about when one of them will go then they won't really live either, then he wouldn't have been able to fully embrace his time with bonnie as he did. )

She always said you were family and she'd do anything for you. I bet that's one bad ass, magic knife that she gave you.

( the absence of bonnie is a very painful, notable thing. he feels it in this room, feels it since the event ended and- and she was nowhere to be found. he sinks down onto the bed as he hauls the box up beside him. his fingers drift under the lid of it. he's as ready as he'll ever be to tug it open. )

Of course it is. It's Bonnie. ( no one takes care of her quite like bonnie.

elena's small laugh is thick, even to her own ears.

bonnie bennett not only made sure elena would have a powerful dagger at her disposal, she also made sure that it could return to her at will, responding to elena and elena's voice alone. there's a bit of ash at the blade's tip, but elena has yet to see what that means.

she moves to sit down beside peter, placing a hand on his back in solidarity. she is here while he opens his gift, if he needs the anchoring. )

( peter smiles at the sound of her laugh. and it's not until elena settles her hand at his back that he starts to move again, and then he slides his hand behind his neck. it then slips through his hair before he huffs out a noise like he's gathering up some unknown type of bravery to be prepared for whatever last-thing bonnie has to say to him, and he opens the box finally. inside there's a box of kinder eggs as well as a camera, which he's never seen before. he has a feeling it's got bonnie's special magic touch to it. the sight of both sort of slam into him for entirely different reasons. it was bonnie who found him when he first arrived. she was sneaking out, and he was covered in yolk.

he picks up the kinder eggs first with a crooked smile. )

I was never going to live it down. Showing up to Wonderland with egg on my face. Literally.

( ~~omg there's a kinder egg with a spider-man inside. this is so one of the eggs he got. )~~

( elena's amusement brings with it a hint of grievous longing.

they all arrived together on the same day, but elena wasn't present for that fateful meeting. she's heard bits and pieces, and she knows peter is bonnie's egg boy, but there are parts to the story she's aware she will never fully understand, and she doesn't have to. certain stories belong to two people and two people alone. )

She loved you, Peter.

( he should know that. )

( his eyes prick with those sharp tears. his gaze darts up to the ceiling as he releases the breath caged in his lungs, but a smile draws across his face anyway. )

I love her too.

( it's not past tense, because he's still here like elena is still here, and. and they love bonnie wherever she is now. he hopes elena gets to see her again someday. they're family, and it's so important. )

I don't think anything ever made me feel as good as seeing her smile.

( bonnie bennett does have an impressively beautiful smile. and when you've earned it somehow, there's no feeling like it. she wishes she could say with full certainty bonnie will come back to them, insurmountable odds not withstanding. she wants that more than anything.

but life doesn't work according to what they want, and if anyone else understands loss, it's also peter parker. )

She has a way about her, Miss Bonnie. ( elena gives a small nod. ) You can always talk to me about her.

( elena would be happy to listen. )

( peter smiles softly at what she says and how she says it. he nods, closing his eyes, sliding his hand behind his neck. something solid, something heavy rams its way right into the center of his throat all of a sudden. )

Thank you.

You can talk to me about her too.

( he lifts up his hand to settle it at elena's shoulder, squeezing gently. they both loved her so much, and peter is never going to- never going to forget her.

she'll stay with him. she'll stay in his heart. )

closed | i can't imagine a world with you gone

open your eyes and see what you can with them before they close

open your eyes and see what you can with them before they close

open your eyes and see what you can with them before they close

open your eyes and see what you can with them before they close

open your eyes and see what you can with them before they close

open your eyes and see what you can with them before they close

open your eyes and see what you can with them before they close

open your eyes and see what you can with them before they close

open your eyes and see what you can with them before they close

open your eyes and see what you can with them before they close

open your eyes and see what you can with them before they close

open your eyes and see what you can with them before they close

open your eyes and see what you can with them before they close

open your eyes and see what you can with them before they close

open your eyes and see what you can with them before they close

open your eyes and see what you can with them before they close