she's got lions in her heart [ open ]

[thevulnerability]

Who: Chloe Decker + You + Closed Starters
Where: Out and about Wonderland
When: October + November 2017
Rating: girl's night: pg // lucifer morningstar: mature (explicit sex)
Summary: Catch-all for Chloe.
The Story:

Comments

pre-tartarus.

[interpersonal]

( chloe and elena are a lot alike, in some ways.

it puts elena in the unique position of being able to detect when chloe starts to withdraw. elena herself is susceptible to withdrawing, and though elena gilbert rarely wallows on what can't be changed, she's sometimes needed a good nudge. so that's what she's doing tonight: she's nudging.

as much as their heartfelt conversations mean to her, they could use something fun and not life-altering, for once.

knock knock, chloe. the cavalry has arrived. )

[thevulnerability]

[ Elena is perfect at reading people, especially Chloe, so she's right on about the situation.

Chloe thought not addressing things was the answer; if she ignored her and Seth's budding conflicts, her feelings for Lucifer, and the emotional repercussions of her dying, she thought it might go away on its own. Wounds aren't like that, though; physical or otherwise. Instead she just finds it festering, eating away at her, to the point that after her experience being a vampire, her coaching Seth through a relapse in his drug addiction and - perhaps the worst of all - the memory she had to relive with Lucifer of Trixie, the only thing she has the power to do is withdraw.

When she answers the door, she's in an over-sized pajama shirt, and her hair hasn't been brushed. Full blown withdrawing is definitely happening. Elena's lucky she even got out of bed. ]

Hey. [ Chloe peers at her, leaning against the doorway. At least Elena has seen her in worse states than this. ] What's up? Everything okay?

[interpersonal]

( ohhhhhh chloe no.

it's worse than she thought. :c

elena's smile fades in favor of reassurance. ) Yeah! Everything's okay, I promise. ( it says something about their lives that it makes perfect sense chloe would think something is wrong, because ... usually something's wrong. elena's smile returns, a little softer now. )

I was just checking up on you, see if you wanted to hang out.

[thevulnerability]

Okay. Good.

[ Usually events hit in more obvious ways, but Chloe can't help than be constantly on edge anymore. She finds herself constantly worrying about her friends, and Elena now, immortal or not, is still under her protection.

Even if she's failed her before. Even if she will fail her again. ]

I... Uh. I don't know if now is a good time, Elena. I'm not feeling great.

[interpersonal]

( she gives a small, almost sad, sigh. )

And normally I'd want to respect that, but Chloe ... every time we've seen each other you haven't been feeling great.

( it's starting to worry her. more. worry her more, because she was already worried. she knows firsthand how dying can mess with your head. it's meant to be final and then it isn't. not to mention all of chloe's stuff with lucifer and her boyfriend... )

If you really don't want to go, then I'll understand. But maybe taking some time out of your own head might help?

( doe eyes intensify. )

[thevulnerability]

[ Nice try, Elena, but with motherhood comes other great talents, such as clairvoyance, tricks to remove stains from carpet and, most of all, immunity to doe eyes.

Well, for the most part. Maybe Chloe is just out of practice, or maybe she just knows Elena has her best interests at heart. She's been withdrawing, pulling away from those she cares about. She never feels great anymore. She can't remember the last time she did.

Chloe heaves a sigh and opens the door, gesturing for Elena to come in. ]

Okay, you're right. But if we're going out, you have to help me figure out what to wear.

[interpersonal]

( elena's expression brightens, and she clasps her hands together as she steps inside. )

I would be happy to. And I promise it will be comfortable, too.

( she dresses to the nines when she has to, but for the most part, elena's own fashion sense is down-to-earth. there's no saying one can't look good and feel good. no five-inch heels for this girl. at least, not on a regular basis. )

Lead me to the closet.

[thevulnerability]

[ Chloe wouldn't trust Elena with fashion choices otherwise; she can certainly step it up when she needs to, but her array of over-sized shirts and ponytail bands aren't exactly girl's night level.

Besides, Elena has good taste. Maybe Chloe could learn a thing or two. ]

Okay, deal. [ Chloe gestures across her small room; it's still reminiscent of a hotel room, but a few personal touches have accumulated. Her diary sits on the small desk, next to a few pictures of Trixie. There's a pile of dirty clothes in the corner, a couple of dirty wine glasses, and a rumpled, unmade bed. At least the mattress was upgraded. It doesn't have a lump in it anymore! \o/ ]

Sorry about the mess. [ Chloe toes the pile of clothes aside as she leads Elena to the wardrobe. ] I haven't really been in a cleaning mood.

[interpersonal]

( chloe kind of breaks her heart sometimes.

they're all just trying to find their way in this senseless world, navigating brutal events the best way they know how. but elena has damon, and she has caroline, and though she misses jeremy fiercely, she gets it's not the same thing as chloe missing trixie. chloe doesn't come from a world where dying is the norm, either. elena just wishes she could've protected her from it a little bit longer.

she reaches the closet, but shakes her head in response to chloe's apology. ) It's okay. I don't care about the mess. I care about you. ( her gaze softens, though there are no doe eye tricks this time. ) I really am worried about you.

[thevulnerability]

[ Chloe looks away, unable to meet Elena's eyes for the shame she feels may be etched across her face. It isn't right, not any of it; she shouldn't even be here. She should be home with her daughter, in her normal world... Or at least the world she thought was normal. She shouldn't know that her friends are angels and demons, that her partner is the devil. There was a time, in Wonderland, that she had been angry at Lucifer for hiding all of those truths so conveniently from her, for treating her like a child that needed to be protected from the realities of his complicated life.

Now, she misses that ignorance. She misses not knowing what the monsters that hid in the darkness actually looked like. ]

God, Elena... [ She reaches out, putting her hands gently on Elena's shoulders. ] You shouldn't worry about me. If anything, I'm the one who's supposed to worry. And I know, I know you're an adult and you have been through so much more than I could even dream about but... [ She glances across the room, her gaze landing on one of the pictures of Trixie. ] I want to be there for you. And I've really, really sucked at it lately. I guess I'm worried about me, too.

[interpersonal]

( elena takes one of those hands that settle upon her shoulders. she takes it into her own. )

You do worry about me. You take care of me all the time. Chloe, you were the one who fought hardest alongside Damon to get me back when Freya took me, and we'd just met. There's nothing wrong with my returning the favor when I can. I want to. ( relationships are a two-way street. even parents need taking care of sometimes, too. she really doesn't think there is anything wrong with that.

her gaze follows chloe's, and it's only then elena takes notice of a very, very cute girl. she can hazard a guess. )

Is that ... ?

[thevulnerability]

[ Chloe manages a smile, but it doesn't reach her eyes. She still feels like the cards have been stacked in her favor; her problems with Seth, with Lucifer, her dying, being away from Trixie. She has fixated on Elena as a place to put that parental love that didn't have anywhere to belong anymore. It wasn't as if Elena replaced Trixie, but she did give those feelings a place to go.

She also gave the guilt a place to go, too. Chloe had tried to save Elena, and she had failed. ]

Trixie. Yeah, that's her. [ She shudders a breath. ] I got pictures of her from the closets, but they aren't right. I guess because it's how I remember her and not really exactly how she looks. Once I figured out I could do it I wanted to, though. [ She nods. ] I was worried I'd forget what she looks like.

[interpersonal]

( she breathes out a little in relief.

as much as she'd have understood the pictures coming from the vendors, she wouldn't want the to take anything from chloe, least of all a memory from the little girl she's missing so much. ) I'm sure you remember her perfectly. The closets just never give you anything from home.

( they want them to go to the vendors, it seems. )

So they gave you the next closest thing. She's beautiful. ( there's a slight pause, and then Elena asks almost tentatively: ) Tell me about her?

Lucifer Morningstar // post-Worst Memory Event

[thevulnerability]

[ The event may have ended, but the mansion still feels heavy with the weight of every inhabitant's worst memories and spoken truths. Chloe quickly figures out that it is a slow process; the act of picking up all of the broken pieces of themselves, and not everyone knows what to do with them. Some try to put them back together, some dump them into a drawer to be forgotten.

And some, like her, hand bits of them to another person in hopes that the task will be easier when it isn't done alone.

By the time she shows up at Lux, it's already busy. Music blares over the clinking sounds of glasses and bottles, and she finds the chatter comforting as it drowns out her busy thoughts. She's dressed up, her hair curled softly around her shoulders, wearing the jumpsuit Elena had created for their girl's night. It took her a while to build up the courage, but this is going to be her and Lucifer's first proper date, and she wants to feel pretty.

She moves through the bar, a little slowly. The truths that were spoken between them during the event hadn't just reached through the walls that had built between them, it had shattered them to rubble. It leaves her feeling raw and exposed, in a way she isn't used to. She finds herself relieved, too, her burden lifting, but she is still nervous about seeing him again after all that was said. Chloe barely left his side as the event dragged on, them clutching each other as they sat stranded in the hallways of the mansion, clinging to each other so as to never be separated again.

Chloe finally spots him at the piano, although she isn't sure if he's about to begin a song or just finished one. She moves up beside him, brushing her fingertips over the corner of the dark wood. It reminds her so much of their times at home, sitting on the bench, laughing with drinks in hand as she watched the smoke from a discarded cigarette coil through the air, as she glanced at the curve of his lips as he spoke, as she loved him without even knowing it. ]

Looks busy. [ She smiles, tilting her head as she looks down at him. ] Think you can work in a minute to buy a girl a drink?

[walkingheroin]

[The truth event had come to close, and thus, so had their little adventure crashing in the hallways of the mansion. She'd gone back to her room, and he to his penthouse inside his club, which felt emptier than ever. That said, there was a lightness in his chest that hadn't existed before, like some sort of weight had been lifted from his shoulders, and he couldn't keep the smile of his face even in his abrupt loneliness.

Time passed as it usually did, and with the horrible memories drifting into the past, he reopened his bar, giving refuge to those who wanted to drown said memories in drink and dance.

Luckily for both of them, he's just finishing up a set, as evidenced by the way he closes the lid over the keys, reaching for the drink that's half-full and sitting on a little napkin atop the large instrument. He catches movement out of the corner of his eye, the action of taking a sip from the rim of his glass paused as he turns his head to catch sight of her.

He realizes, belatedly, that he should have invited her. At least she doesn't look angry or disappointed with him. He's just always used to her showing up on her own when she wants, and he's glad that seems to be what's happening now.]

I do believe I've just cleared my schedule for the rest of the evening. [He gives her a cheeky grin, finally taking a sip of the amber liquid in his hand, finishing it off before he puts it down on top of the piano.] Unless you're here meeting someone else, of course.

[thevulnerability]

[ She's honestly not sure if she can ever been angry or disappointed in anything he can ever do again. Going their separate ways after the event had been a challenge, but Chloe didn't want to push it here any more than she did at home. This is all new territory for Lucifer, and she wants to give him the chance to explore it on his terms. As for herself, while the hurt is gone, the tenderness is still there. She might not be keeping one foot out the door anymore, but she's still taking her time creeping into the room.

Of course, there is only so slowly you can move with someone who you have already professed your love to. Of course, sex would be good - with Lucifer, it's probably going to be great. Somehow, though, she is still completely content just to see the way his eyes light up when he looks at her. ]

Well, there is this one guy... He stood me up on a date once, he just doesn't remember it. [ She slips onto the bench next to him, trying to give him her best seductive look. Spoiler: she's not great at it. ] I thought he might want to make it up to me.

[walkingheroin]

[It's probably a bad idea to go down that route. It's unlikely that Lucifer will never surprise her ever again, and it won't always be in the best ways.

That said, she's heard his truths, and anything else he says or does can be traced back to that, which puts a spin on everything he's ever done or will do involving her.

The smile he returns to her is mischievous, yet dopey, as she sits down beside him.]

Well, if he doesn't, then I'd be happy to be his much better-looking replacement. [Does he realize she's talking about him in the first place? Probably. Still funny, though.

He signals to whoever is working the bar at present, pointing to his drink and then showing two fingers, before he's back to focusing on her.] Two drinks, coming right up.

[thevulnerability]

[ Eventually the honeymoon period will wear off, and he'll do something that reminds her of how completely idiotic he can be. Even as he has started open up to her, and even though he has changed for the better, Chloe knows there are parts of him that will remain unchanged. He'll always be a pain in the ass, and he'll always challenge her and frustrate her. But the way that dopey smile sends a flood of warmth through her stomach makes it hard to think about anything other than this moment, right now. ]

I don't know. He's pretty irreplaceable. [ In a way, she is talking about someone else. This Lucifer doesn't have to worry about quite the same baggage they carry back home, although Chloe is finding it easier to unify those two seemingly different Lucifers. After what happened during the event, she understands now that even if the timeline is different, his feelings haven't changed. He loves her here, and he loves her at home, regardless of the different outcomes it may have caused.

She glances towards the bar, watching their drinks being poured before she turns back to look at him. ] You should have told me you were playing, I would have come by earlier.

[walkingheroin]

[His chest puffs up a bit, which indicates that he most definitely knew she was talking about him, so at least he's learned a bit about not taking everything as literal as possible.

That does mean he stood her up for a date though. Odd.

His hand smooths over the surface of the piano, eyes tracing its lines briefly before he smirks.]

I might have one more in me a bit later. Maybe I'll give you a private performance.

[thevulnerability]

[ There are so many more events she has yet to fill him in on when it came to the behavior of his future self. Contextualizing it with the truths she now knows has helped Chloe to better understand all of it, and she can brush it off more easily knowing that he had his reasons.

Of course, they weren't necessarily good reasons and she doubts they are ones she would agree with. But as she has been reminded over and over, they aren't home anymore. What happens there doesn't matter anymore, especially when he's sitting so close to her. ]

I... [ She takes a breath, reaching out tentatively to place her hand on his thigh. This feels all new again, without the benefit of the event forcing them to say things without thinking them through. Chloe hasn't changed her mind, but a few days distance has made her a little gun-shy. ] I think I'd like that.

[ Their drinks arrive then, placed on napkins in front of them over the piano, and Chloe clears her throat as she reaches for hers. She has a feeling she's going to need it. ]

[walkingheroin]

[Lucifer looks down as her palm settles on his leg, his grin only spreading wider as he gets an almost wicked gleam in his eye.]

Well, in that case...

[He picks up his glass, eyes locked with hers as he takes a long sip, before setting it back down.]

You enjoy that while I take care of a little something.

[He stands then, turning toward the bar where most of the people are sitting, and begins to yell. Loudly.]

Alright, folks! That's a wrap, party's over! Everyone out! As for my lovely employees, you all have the rest of the night off!

[thevulnerability]

[ Chloe has just taken a sip of her own drink and it almost comes out again in a sputter when he stands up and starts shouting to the crowd. Thankfully she manages to keep it in, her throat burning as she quickly swallows her mouthful of scotch and her mouth falls open as she hears the music screech to a halt, the chatter of people filling the room as chairs are pushed out and glasses are set heavily down onto the bar. ]

Lucifer! What you are doing? [ She hisses at him, swatting his waist with her hand as she tries to avoid the unhappy stares of drink deprived patrons. Chloe shrinks back a bit as her shock starts to melt into amusement, her hand rising to hide her smile as she pulls her eyes away from the bar and turns back to Lucifer. ]

Stop yelling. Why are you closing? People were having fun.

[walkingheroin]

[He turns back toward her, smoothing out his jacket idly.]

Emptying out the place, of course. I thought that was rather obvious.

[He glances down with amusement as she swats at him, observing her cheeks to see if she blushes. He does so like it when she gets all riled up by his antics.]

Yes, well, there are other places to drink and I keep this place open almost every single day. They can give me a night off, I think. Don't you? Especially considering they're getting everything for free.

[He has very little incentive to entertain other people tonight. He seems to only be watching her as he sits back down at the piano, leaning his elbow against the keys cover and resting his cheek against his palm. He doesn't register anyone else even as people file out the door.]

[thevulnerability]

[ She does finally blush as he sits down at the piano, heat rising in her cheeks as she realizes it's only her that he's looking at. Chloe laughs, dropping her head from his gaze for a moment, listening to the sounds of the bar emptying out.

It isn't long before the Lux crowd is gone. It always felt incredibly cramped when full and strangely enormous when empty back home, and Lucifer's recreation wasn't much different. Chloe has come to love the new Lux as she did the one at home; if nothing else, on account of the fact that it was Lucifer's home, and she cared about it because he did. Here, it served as a single thread to their lives back home. When she arrived, Chloe had hated the fact that he remade Lux in this place. Now, she wouldn't want anything different.

Once the bar fades into silence, she leans into the piano, resting her elbow and propping her head to mirror him as she stares at him. ]

We could have just gone up to the penthouse, you know.

[walkingheroin]

On the contrary, Detective. We couldn't.

[He rises from his seat again, goes to collect the bottle of scotch they will eventually need refills from, and come back. The bottle gets placed on the top of the bar before he finishes off his glass and pours them both a little more.

With that done, he sits back down properly, sliding back the cover to reveal the keys again.]

I can't give you a proper private performance without my piano, now can I?