It may very well be the worst thing that's ever happened to you! | OPEN MINGLE

[vitaelamorte]

Who: EVERYONE!
Where: EVERYWHERE!
When: Friday October 27th - Tuesday October 31st
Rating: PG-13, warn if you're gonna go higher!
Summary: A catch all for the Horrible Memory Truth Event!
The Story:

For the duration of this event, everyone's entire room will be replaced with a memory playing on loop. They will likely recognize the moment as soon as they see it – it is a moment they remember as the worst moment of their entire lives. It could be a memory from home or something that happened in Wonderland. Lengths of the memories will vary, but they will find that these are not memories they can merely watch – they can step into these memories and attempt to make changes to them, and the memories will be long enough that they have time to make changes (though no more than 24 hours). However, anyone who tries will find that it is futile. No matter what you do or how hard you try, the outcome is always exactly the same somehow. No changes you make will prevent that horrible outcome. It just happens over and over and over again no matter what you do.

On top of that, perhaps complicating any attempts to make changes, everyone will be forced to be honest for the duration of the event. No lies or half-truths are allowed, and filters will be gone for the entire five days. If something bothers someone then they will blurt it out, regardless of whether or not it hurts someone's feelings, and no one will be able to simply keep quiet when they have something to say. They must be truthful and honest with every word they say.

This is a catch-all log for all of your Worst Memory needs! Please mark your threads clearly in the subject line with your character's name and Room Number + Floor for character rooms, or just location if you're making a top level for a public place in the mansion (like the tea rooms or the kitchen) so people can see if there's already a thread available. And here's the plot post if you need it!

Have fun!

Comments

28th | Closed to Mondo

[nomorules]

<sub>[An argument could be made Ryuji's coping with this bogus event better than most. He doesn't bother guarding his room, or even putting a lock on it, going about business as usual as best he's able.

Alice had been right--the scene playing and replaying in his room is a time when he'd felt his lowest, he knows it as well as if a mirror had been held up to the inside of his heart--but his childhood hiccups are a drop in the ocean of troubles. If he had to guess, his pain wouldn't even make the top thirty of terrible moments on display right now. That helps put the event in perspective, if not make it entirely comfortable.

And it also serves as a reminder others have much darker demons to wrestle with, as if he could forget. He's seen some of them in person. Stood close enough to smell the fresh blood.

He asks around with that thought in mind ("have you seen any super jacked dudes with hair like thiiis?" with a hand motion indicating some severe growth from the forehead a doctor might want to check out). People are feeling brutally honest; if they've seen him, they'll let Ryuji know.

And some have. Directions take up upstairs to the floor above his own. Try the door handle or knock?

He knocks. This isn't an infiltration--not in the traditional sense.]</sub>

[trabryu]

[ Definitely not the worst event he's encountered since his arrival here. It's livable as long as he isn't in his room and no one can get in there without force, so... yeah, not so bad. He won't be able to say the same if he hadn't experienced the mindscape, but... thinking about that is moot point, isn't it? Anyway, his plan today's just doing things as per normal. After confirming that Ishimaru's at a safe distance from the terrible memories and no weird monsters coming out unlike the previous time, Mondo's gotten a lot of leeway to move around without extra worries. If anything, he's more worried about his slips of tongue as of late, which is why the perfect plan is to lock himself in the workshop. He's made one grave mistake, though. And that is grabbing some munchies from the tea room. Because now he sees someone he (always) doesn't want to see in front of his workshop. Great. The hell's that mashed potato doing there. If Mondo retreats now, that'll be like he's losing to that shithead, right? Ugh. Fuck, time to shoo him away. He may owe him a lot, but... god. He's the worst person to encounter while Mondo's having this curse on him. ] ...Oi. [ Look at this face full of displeasure and reluctance. Read the mood and scram, dude. (PS: No, those plates of munchies aren't for you.) ] The fuck you doin' here?

[nomorules]

<sub>[Ryuji's patience, hair-thin on a good day, starts to stretch at the lack of response to his first knock, and they get progressively louder as he's forced to wait. Buyer's remorse. He should've busted his way in after all...

The voice belonging to the person he's here to see draws his attention off the door, and the mashed potato turns on his heel to take in the other standing there with his plate of edibles.]</sub>

Ah, there you are.

_{[He is, of course, talking to the pompadour, instantly the biggest eyesore in any space.]}

Checkin' in. Someone said they saw your batshit hair up here.

_{[His answer is easy and even-handed, even though like Mondo there appears to be a notable lack of joy in talking to the other outside of his room. But it's the unadulterated truth, courtesy of the event. He's come for the same reason Mondo looks like he wants to throw the plate in his face--there's no running from this event. What better time to confront a ball of messed up emotions like Mondo when they're under compulsion to tell the truth and only the truth?]}

[trabryu]

[ Immediately picking a fight? Goddammit, he wasn't even in the mood and now he just wants to pummel this asshole. ]

Fuck off, manhole face.

[ He doesn't even know what's that supposed to mean, it just slipped out of his tongue but that sounds perfect. ]

The fuck d'ya want?

[ It makes him realise how big of a mistake the event has made. The worst memory for him is getting his ass saved by this fucker. The true disgrace as a man. ]

[nomorules]

_{[That does not sound perfect and Ryuji stops to give the other boy a funny look.]}

The hell? That don't even make sense. I just said it--I'm checkin' up on you. Makin' sure you're not up to somethin'. Or doin' somethin' dumb like gettin' your ass killed.

<sub>[Like probation. Because you're on it. Ryuji decided it and you don't get a say in it.

Sorting Mondo out is just another work project for the Phantom Thieves, as far as Ryuji's concerned, and this is him keeping up his end of the job he gave himself in his head. Say hello to your annoying, unwanted guardian angel in teenage dirtbag flavor.]</sub>

[trabryu]

[ Checking up on him?! As if he needs a mom. He's been living fine without a proper one for so long! ]

Aah? Who the fuck d'ya think you are? I don't fuckin' need your supervision for shit!

[ Does this guy need some socking in the face to get his head cleared up or something?! Mondo glares so intensely at Ryuji like his eyes are about to pop. ]

Now get the hell outta here if you don't wanna get all black 'n blue!!

[nomorules]

_{[Well, it's true that's a hairstyle only a mother could love...]}

Don't look at me like that! Your forehead's gonna get all veiny and it's crowded enough up there.

_{[He doesn't move from the workshop's door, looking obstinately like a stray dog waiting to be let in so he can immediately run over and rub his wet snout all over the couch cushions. Are you going to unlock it so he can invite himself in or what?]}

You must really believe that or you wouldn't be sayin' it after we've been truth serum'd. _{[Dot dot dot... Can you hear the but coming? But he'd sure as hell beg to differ.]} I think I'm the guy tryin'a help you even if don't see it. Tell me you ain't bothered one bit about whatever Wonderland's showin' in your room next, that'll be a neat trick.

[trabryu]

[ Wow, this shithead's got no ears or what?! If his words aren't getting through, then his fists sure will. Without a pause, Mondo grabs the collar of the shirt. For some reason he thinks it's a good idea to ram his forehead to the other... which only results in The Pomp Attack. ]

Look, asshole. I owe you one, but that doesn't mean I gotta be tellin' you shit! Scram now before I change my mind and punch you in the fuckin' face.

[ He's gonna give him some time because he's so goddamn generous like that. ]

'm countin' till five.

[nomorules]

<sub>[He has ears and they work fine... just selectively. They're waiting for what he wants to hear--for Mondo to stop being an idiot and start talking from the heart instead of out of his ass--with everything else blocked out as unimportant.

Mondo preempts him before he can go right on with his phantom thief-style interrogation, about to pose a question about who Mondo might be seeing in his memory. Having him up in his grill is like being attacked by a scrub brush or a furry animal, augh! He twists his head, trying to get out from under the horrible hair monstrosity. It's touching him! It's actually touching him!

At the same time, he slaps his palm right smack into the middle of Mondo's face and forcibly pushes it away, growling.]</sub>

Get that thing and those plates outta my face before one ends up wearin' the other!

_{[Whatever Mondo counts up to is going to be muffled by his hand, sorry not sorry.]}

I'll save you the trouble--five! You can take as many swings as you want, I ain't goin' nowhere.

[trabryu]

Ofhー!! [ Don't make him kiss your palm, wtf gross! Mondo has to release the hand that's grasping the collar to dodge the hand away from him, freaking hell!! Who does he think he is?! ] God fuckin' dammit, what the fuck d'ya want from me?! Gratitude?! Then fuck off, 'm not givin' you that!!

[nomorules]

_{[At least he knows where his palm's been... probably. Mondo could've been cleaning out air ducts with that thing and Ryuji would be none the wiser.]}

Blegh! _{[As if he's the one who should be grossed out.]} What do you style that thing with, industrial glue!? It's like a third appendage growin' out of your head!

_{[Maybe that's Mondo's secret to his dexterity, as he amazingly manages not to drop any of his food when (to Ryuji's relief) he backs off.]}

Did I say that? _{[Huffing, he makes a show of smoothing out his shirt with a persnickety fastidiousness he doesn't actually feel.]} Quit puttin' words in my mouth, damn it. I'm here to help you, like I keep sayin'.

<sub>[Has he actually said that before??? Probably. If not, it was strongly implied, so whatever, same deal. His face and tone are begrudging, but he plants his feet solidly, apparently serious about this offer.

If he could confront Mondo in his Palace--and it seems more than likely he'd have one--he would, but without the Meta-Nav confronting him in reality is the next best thing he can do.]</sub>

[trabryu]

Piss off, mop-hair!!

[ The fuck does this asshole have against his hairdo?! A man's envy is real lame, does he know that?! Someone's oughta work on the body balance rather than wasting his time yapping about useless shit like this! ]

Help me with what?! Fuck if I need your help! Go to fuckin' church and preach at people who actually wanna listen!!

[nomorules]

_{[Defensive much? Wonder why...]}

Didn't say you had to like it. Also didn't say I was givin' ya a choice.

<sub>[Delivered with the certainty of a fact and the threat of a promise. Ryuji doesn't let his temper break free from his restraints and rise to meet Mondo's; out from under the pompadour's reign of terror, his tone again takes on an unbending sternness.

He has no intention of treating Mondo with kid gloves, either. If he has to leave the other a bit black and blue in ways beyond the physical, he's willing to do that just the same. They're evenly matched in that regard.]</sub>

It's about time you learned this 'bout me--makin' people pay for their crimes is my job. When that skin monster attacked you, you said you deserved to pay. We're seein' eye-to-eye there. I want justice--and I think you do, too.

_{[And now a question he's been chewing on ever since talking to Mikan--]}

Tell me somethin' first. Why'd you kill that kid?

_{[He's asked this before, but before he didn't have the compelling power of the Metaverse or a Wonderland event on his side.]}

Was it 'cause you were tryin'a win your--killing game? No bullshit this time. The truth.

[trabryu]

[ Goddammiー ]

Goddammit, I just wanna punch your fuckin' face.

[ Welp, thanks mouth, that surely helps exactly 0 (zero) thing. But whatever, it's been said and it's what he truly feels. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Tough.

Though, boy howdy, what he's hearing fucking explains a whole lot. All these holier-than-thou act came from the authority some joker gave this asshat to police around people's behaviours. Holy frick. Whatever world that was from, Mondo doesn't want to go there. Ever. ]

Yeah? What're ya gettin' at? For the umpteenth time, this got nothin' to do with ya! There's no justice if Fujisaki gets nothin' from this!!

[ Oh fucking hell. Of course he'd ask. Of fucking course. This guy really doesn't give up, does he. Mondo really should've been able to tell from the past few happenings, but god. Fuck it, he'll get this done and over it once and for all. ]

Get your ass in 'ere.

[ Opening the door to his workshop, he immediately walks in and looks around, hoping that Jon isn't around. This bastard'll probably inflict weird influences to his young and impressionable friend, and that's the last thing Mondo ever wants from his Wonderland life. Plus it's been tad awkward lately with Jon and he wants to be talking to that boy the next time he sees him. Heck, he should've been having this talk with Jon right now and not with this fucker. ]

Fuck this, man...

[ Can't help it. Anyway, looks like the area's clear. They can talk here. ]

Just sit wherever but don't fuckin' touch anythin'.

[nomorules]

So you can lay me out like you did Fujisaki?

<sub>[Ryuji doesn't have to lift a hand to land a slap, deceptively even-toned.

He has no desire to keep drawing attention back to an ugly truth when he doesn't want to look at it too closely himself, but Mondo is like an animal with teeth bared, riling himself up to use them. A good thwack with a rolled up newspaper is a reminder not to bite.

If Mondo were to back up his threats with action--and Ryuji has no doubt he's capable of it--he's ready to stop him. It isn't the first time someone's found Ryuji aggravating enough to hit, besides. And it won't be the last. Hazards of the job--and of being who he is.

He doesn't say anything else until the other ushers him inside--but what he walks into throws him for a loop.]</sub>

--What the hell?

_{[He'd been expecting a bedroom, not... whatever this is.]}

[trabryu]

[ Wow. That fucking stings.

It's true that he killed Fujisaki, though, and he certainly is capable of knocking regular people out. He won't blame anyone being wary about that, especially not this fucker ー Mondo himself isn't sure he won't kill this guy out of blind rage. He doesn't respond, unless gritting his teeth counts as one.

But the reaction to his workshop gets him to turn his head, defensive scowl forming in between his brows. ]

What? [ He glances at the big wooden board and the saw on it. Well. ] 'm not gonna cut you up unless you say shit. Sit your fuckin' ass down if you want me to talk. [ Crossing his arms in front of his chest, he glares down at the scrawny teen. ]

[nomorules]

<sub>[Too many of the Thieves' targets had married themselves to self-defensive denial, unwilling to admit responsibility for damage they'd caused. He expects more of the same from Mondo--more of the same fight that's marked their interactions to date. Reluctant as he is to admit to having anything in common, they're both on the hotheaded spectrum, quick to provoke and be provoked.

So when Mondo doesn't bite back like usual, it stands out. Ryuji's looks away from his examination of the tools on the wall and flicks over him assessingly. Had he hit a sore spot, or does he simply not want the event to compel a confirmation out of him...?

Then Mondo goes and opens his mouth again, adding only about a metric ton of plausibility to the latter option. A real class act they got here. Ryuji snorts, seemingly losing interest in the workshop in favor of narrowing his eyes at the other.]</sub>

Shit like what, the truth? Well, get used to it. I ain't just gonna pretend it didn't happen, and I ain't keepin' your dirty secrets for you.

_{[In case he was at all unclear what his stance is. Ryuji goes ahead and sits down in the nearest seat he finds, a gesture that teleplays he's not afraid of what Mondo might try to do to him alone in a room more than any sign he's getting comfortable.]}

All right, time to put your money where your mouth is, hulk. You say you want justice? I'm all ears.

[trabryu]

[ That's not it, god fucking dammit. Is it this asshole's life mission to make Mondo angry all the time? Didn't he just say he's gonna talk? Here he is, being cooperative and shit, and this is what he gets in return? Fuck, he really wants to knock this guy lights out.

But too bad so sad, he can't take back what he already said ー that'll hurt his pride too much as a man.

So instead, he exhales loudly, holding back the fury in his ball of fist. ]

Then you better open those rotten ears wide!

[ Standing before the other, Mondo folds his arm. He doesn't start talking immediately, only because he's biting on his tongue to give him some time to gather his inner peace that this fucker has successfully disheveled. With another puff of air, he finally starts. ]

The school I went to back home... I dunno what happened but there were 15 of us locked down in it, forced to kill each other. [ One hand reaches up to rest on the back of his neck. ] This fucked up bear robot claimed that it's the school principal and started to hand out motives for us to kill. ...I know that sounded crazy, but that's really what happened.

[ He'll pause here, just so the birdbrain has some time to process this brand new information. Look how kind he is. ]

[nomorules]

<sub>[Suppressing the urge to roll his eyes, he makes an offhand gesture--carry on, my liege and waits with an intent air of expectation.

With most, he wouldn't bother trying to exert any patience whatsoever, but he'd seen the horror in Mondo's face--both times, when the memory of the real Fujisaki had played out, and when the fake Fujisaki had appeared in Tartarus. Mondo had already attempted to, quite literally, die for his sins. People who don't care about repenting wouldn't do that. He's not all bad, infuriating as he can be.

But the story is a far cry from what he thought he'd get--some grudge against a cross-dressing classmate who'd bandied the word secrets around, maybe, or an equally misguided reason why he'd had to do it. It's even more of a shock to the system than walking into some kind of workshop.

Another battle royale!?]</sub>

What the fuck, man? A bear robot?

_{[He squints in strained disbelief. This sounds awfully, awfully familiar...]}

You didn't look that forced to me. And that kid didn't look like she was tryin'a kill you first.

[trabryu]

[ Mondo lets out an unamused grunt. ]

Tell me 'bout it, man. It fuckin' blasted itself off when I was gonna punch the lights outta it! Real bomb, I'm tellin' ya! ...Was lucky one classmate told me to hurl it away.

[ Well, he still died in the end, so that doesn't even really matter.

The storytelling halted as the mashed potato commented, and now Mondo's pissed off more than ever. Will there even be a time this shithead stop rubbing him the wrong way?! ]

This fucker... [ He releases the balled fist, only to attempt to grab the other by the collar. ] Does it kill you to listen to the end and shut the fuck up?! Why the fuck you keep pickin' a fight while someone's talkin'? I've already said Imma talk, so just listen, dammit!! [ He knows more than anyone else that he's at fault, he doesn't need this prick to use every chance possible to underline it. He's more than well-aware of it!

Whether or not the grabbing attempt is successful, he'll try to shove the other as he continues talking. It's not like he can stop himself from spelling out the truth. ]

Tch. The first killing motive they gave to each of us was a video. I dunno about the others', but if everyone's gettin' somethin' similar, I'm guessin' they were tryinna threaten us to kill with the safety of someone important to us in line. [ In Mondo's case, it was his team, Crazy Diamond. ] I didn't think it was real. Even now, I dunno if it was real, probably was just some stupid edits. If they could maintain the facilities in that school, they surely had enough power and money to do shit. That's what I wanna believe.

[ ...Fuck, this stupid tongue. That's one whole sentence too many. ]

Anyway! It affected one chick real bad there, and that chick apparently tried to kill this one dude. The dude then killed her.

...That dude wasn't me, by the way.

[ Just clarifying.

As much as he despises giving this asshole time to comment, he needs a breather. Just telling him this much is exhausting enough ー especially because he already knows that he's got a lot more to unpack from here on, and this nosy as fuck monkey won't let him off till he hears many, if their previous encounters are telling him anything. ]

[nomorules]

_{[Oh no, sir, don't even think that thought.]}

Why don't you practice what you preach? I told you to back the hell off me once already!

_{[Ryuji is up and out of his seat in a flash the moment the other moves to grab him, roughly swatting reaching arms aside and reclaiming personal space with a short, hard shove of his own. Like two deer clashing antlers over territorial lines, it's a warning. Get back in your place before I put you on your ass.]}

So back the hell off.

<sub>[For fuck's sake, this guy doesn't make it easy, does he? The similarities to his father are bitter ones--all Mondo would need to complete the look is a can of beer in his free hand a slur to his words to go with the clenched fist and he'd be perfectly imitating one of Sakamoto Sr.'s drunken outbursts.

It puts Ryuji at fierce odds with himself. On the one hand, it'd serve this fuckface right if he loosed the hottest edge of his feelings and burned niceties and restraint to the ground. On the other, he's aware there's enough truth in what Mondo's reluctantly divulging that it's worth holding himself back, even if he seems the only one willing or able.

He doesn't yell, or walk out. He doesn't bite back. He is, however, in an increasingly foul mood for listening to a meandering story, standing stiffly in case things should take another physical turn, his uninviting stare simmering with a banked anger.

But he tries, by god. No one can accuse him of not trying.

For his part, he's impatient to hear more. The wall of words and details and reasons and word vomit on how Billy killed Suzy in the parlor with the candlestick is illuminating--especially the robot bear bomb (the fuck?) and surgically precise threats--but it's not entirely the pea under the princess' mattress he's after. Get to the point, he narrowly avoids snapping, unsettled on top of being ticked off that Mondo should expect an attentive, well-behaved audience when he, himself, has been nothing if not difficult.

Recognizing what this is, that Mondo's under the event's sway, that he's building up to the whole picture piece by piece, he holds his traitorous tongue. Pissing on the carpet he's laying out at Ryuji's request would no doubt get him to clam up.

(And he finds he doesn't want to ask who the "chick gone bad" is, suspecting he might already know and not wanting to get into that thread of conversation, not here, not now.)

Instead he does what he's told--he listens. And for a second or two after the fact, waiting the pause out in expectant silence like a statue that's frozen in place that way. Okay. And? Mondo had wanted the peanut gallery to hold its comments until the end, hadn't he?

After a few beats pass, he relaxes his jaw and opens his mouth, if only to show he's taking in what's being said.]</sub>

They threatened you with videos of someone or something important to you so you'd "play"? So what was yours?

_{[He hadn't been planning on asking that level of personal question, but he's pissed off.]}

[trabryu]

You're the one who looked for trouble! I wasn't gonn-- [ God. ] Tch, y'know what? Forget it. [ Like hell he can stand having this fucker here any longer. He's gonna move on. Doesn't mean he's gonna budge, though ー he's not gonna back off. You don't get tell him to do shit. Whether or not he notices the impatience oozing out from the other one doesn't matter. It won't make him speed the story up. At least, he'll give all the detail he finds necessary to avoid getting thousands of questions and more, especially when the other's so set to prove his fault, even when he already admitted to that. Fucking saints. Why the hell's he even humoring him like this? Just look at that, there you go. Question number one. ] 'Twas my biker gang. It started with some video message from them, and then the next thing... it showed them on the ground, motionless. [ He shrugs, but the look in his eyes show anything but indifference. ] They ain't some second-rate in brawls, I don't buy that bullshit. --Anyway, after all that, we had to go on what they called 'class trial'. We gotta find who was the culprit, and if we didn't, we all'd get executed, vice versa. They [ Yes, they, not 'us'. He wasn't bright enough to give useful inputs, and he's aware of that. ] found the culprit, and he got executed. The rest of us gotta continue the life there. [ Ah yes, they're getting close. ] No one moved for days after, so the wacko bear got us another motive: secrets. If no one killed in 24 hours, each of our secrets would be spread all over the country. I dunno how the fuck they did it, but they figured mine out. ...That I... [ How many times have he said this since he'd gotten here? He's not getting used to this even after all that. ] ...killed my big bro. [ It's still painful to say aloud, even if it's the truth. ] You saw what happened ー part of it. ...I couldn't let the team find out, 'cuz it'd all fall apart for sure if they knew. Keeping the team together was my promise to Aniki, so I... just kept thinkin' how to prevent it all from happening. The more I thought, the deeper I was in those dark thoughts. I didn't wanna kill anyone. [ He doesn't care how hypocritical this sounds coming from him, he's just saying what he feels. ] But... Fujisaki then came to talk to me about the secrets, saying that 'this kinda thing' wouldn't bother me, 'cuz 'I was strong'. At that time, it just felt like a spit to an open wound ー like a sarcasm. 'cuz... Fujisaki was trying to change for the better. Fujisaki was strong. I... [ He grits his teeth. ] I was envious of the strength Fujisaki showed. The fucked up kinda envious that pushed me to blind rage. All I saw was black then, and before I knew it... [ There's no need to finish it, is there? A long suffering sigh leaves his lips, the look in his eyes reflecting his weariness. ] Happy now? You've gotten the full story.

[nomorules]

Not likely.

<sub>[The compulsion to be honest with his thoughts yanks the words out of him. No, he won't be forgetting. Hasn't, in fact, forgotten each growl and threat before this one.

Mondo doesn't finish his aborted sentence and Ryuji doesn't ask, because the truth of the matter is, Ryuji would be wary of him and what he's capable of no matter how the protest ended. Much as he is a fool who rushes in where angels fear to tread, he doesn't underestimate the very real possibility of danger--danger of what Mondo could do in a temper.

And yet.

Every new facet he hears about Hope's Peak and whatever had gone on there is worse than the one before it. A gang on its own wouldn't warrant sympathy, but the obvious machinations around their lives--reducing them to leverage to motivate Mondo to kill to protect them--is nauseating.

There's no justification for murder, none, but this game master had done everything he could to compel people to believe it was the only choice. Kill, or be killed and have those you care for killed.

He can't forgive the end result, but goddamn. He can understand the pressure. It's a slippery slope when you're pushed, pushed, pushed and have to make a decision that affects lives. Even Ryuji, who likes to think "commit a crime or don't commit a crime" is the easiest choice to make, isn't so blind that he can't see that.

For a while after Mondo finishes describing his blackout (and it makes a hideous sort of sense now, an application of character motivation to the two players acting out their parts in that slice of memory before), Ryuji can find nothing to say. It's not a purposeful, sardonic silence this time around, but one born of the same weariness that settles over Mondo now. It's not for the faint of heart, going down this grotesquely fucked up rabbit hole and into a world where robot bears torment high school students to their breaking points and beyond.

He almost regrets standing up; he feels like he needs to sit down and put his head between his knees.]</sub>

You didn't kill anyone before Fujisaki.

<sub>[This, finally, is muttered out as Ryuji collects himself, head down and voice faint. It's not nearly enough, not even what needs saying, but it's all that initially comes out.

Then he looks up and that anger Mondo had sparked is visibly reduced to ash in his pale, drawn face, lips pressed to a thin line.]</sub>

Happy? Nah. Ready to hurl on your floor is the better way to put it. Why'd it take you so long to say this, Oowada? Would you have if Wonderland wasn't makin' ya?

When I asked you before, you made it sound like you did it just 'cause.

_{[And maybe that had partly been Ryuji's anger assigning reasons that Mondo had refused to give. It doesn't change the how and the what, but it does change the why.]}

[trabryu]

Ah? [ Much to Mondo's surprise, the other teen actually responds the way most others did to his brother's death: denying that he was at fault. Here he was, waiting for a yapping, a speech of how he was so wrong, and that it all just proved how terrible he was. He should be glad for the lack of that right now, but he couldn't. No matter what people say, no matter how people try to frame it, it was still his fault. It was another thing that he could've prevented, like Fujisaki's death. ] But I did. [ It's the truth. It's the truth, to Mondo. ] If I didn't challenge him to the race that night, if I didn't try to overtake him, it wouldn't have happened. [ Even though it's gonna put him at the bad light again, even though he wasn't under the truth spell, he would say it ー again and again. He couldn't deny his big bro further than what he already did. ] Why? Hah. There ain't no reason. I've told you umpteenth times, I've got no reason to tell you all these shit ー 's none of your fuckin' business. But you just kept tryinna stick your nose in, so... [ He shrugs. ] You've got what you wanted. Show yourself out if you're gonna hurl. [ He doesn't bother looking at the other guy, just pointing the door with his thumb, hoping he'll leave already. ]

[nomorules]

<sub>[Ryuji is just as certain in the difference between accidents and agency and holds his ground, as well as Mondo's stare, refusing to let how uneasy the story had left him show in his eyes. They still gleam as determined as when he'd met Mondo outside the workshop door.

The heart of the other's Palace, the core of his Treasure, would be tied to his brother somehow, Ryuji's sure of it. It's heavy in the heart, seeing the domino effect through time and experience that had led from one bad decision to another--Mondo had tried so hard to deny his feelings about his brother's motorcycle accident, but in the end they'd only festered and clawed their way out as they were prone to do, a volcano set to erupt.

Fujisaki, and whatever secrets he'd tried to divulge to Mondo, had unfortunately been in the path of the eruption.]</sub>

You were a reckless idiot, that much is for effin' sure, but your brother's wreck was an accident. A terrible accident, but an accident. I saw your memory--he made the choice to save you at the last second.

<sub>[And it's all the more worse because he'd been there, he'd seen the blood seeping into cracks in the pavement and heard Mondo choking on his cries. He can't shake that--probably never will.

The few minutes he'd lived it and the conspiracy that had later cheapened it in the name of blackmail material sickens him, but not so viscerally that he has to follow Mondo's pointing finger. He'll just have to curse Ryuji's cast iron stomach.]</sub>

If you really wanna start doin' right by them, you need to follow Fujisaki's example and take responsibility for the things you can change--yourself. You've been holdin' all this shit in this long, and look where it's gotten you. Comin clean's the best thing you can do for 'em.