[Open] If you are the dealer

[oneagainstall]

Who: Gren and you
Where: The entrance hall, then ALL the bars
When: 13th March
Rating: PG13/R for threats of violence and swearing. So much swearing.
Summary: A one armed monster dressed as a human walks into a magical mansion. Hijinks ensue. (Will match format)
The Story:

[The Entrance Hall]

[Gren has had a shitty-ass week. What with one of his friends being murdered, getting shot in the face and having his arm ripped off again- it's not been a super fun happy time for him. Sure, his injuries have mostly healed (well, except for the arm, but there's nothing that's getting done about that) but he's still pretty goddamn tired. The absolute last thing he needed was to find himself in a strange building.

Briefly, he thought it might be some hidden annex of the Woodlands- maybe he zoned out and took a wrong turn or something. That place was a fucking labyrinth at the best of times. But no...no there were too many mundies around. Something was desperately wrong here, and he was in no mood to deal with this bullshit. He stands there, for a moment, staring around him with his (seemingly) one functioning eye, before snarling and turning, grabbing whichever poor soul happens to be within arm's reach- gripping them tightly by their shoulder and hoisting them nearer.]

Just what in the fuck is goin' on here?

[All the bars]

[Gren eventually realises there's bars in this fucking hellhole and he heads straight for them. For the rest of the night, he moves through them, trying them out for size. To be the perfect watering hole for him, they need to be the perfect balance of quiet and dive. Somewhere most other people would take one look at and move on as quickly as possible. He doubts he'll get exactly that, but then there is only one Trip Trap. He'll just have to live with what he can get.

He can be found at various points at the night, sitting on a bar stool, whiskey nearby- staring at the pamphlet explaining where he is, finding it more and more insane the more he re-reads it. Wonderland is gone. It got swept up in the Adversary's takeover just like the rest of the Homelands did. Hell, he knows for a fact the fucking Tweedles aren't little girls- not unless they're wearing glamours. He wouldn't put that past those sick fucks, honestly.

He tends to not engage in conversation, certainly not when he's settling down for a long night of drinking. But he's in a place that's not what everyone thinks it is, and it's getting under his skin. So, he'll turn to whoever has come close enough to his chosen corner, tapping the pamphlet with his index finger.]

So. Are we supposed to just buy this fuckin' Wonderland spiel or what? I'm not the only one that sees it's bullshit, right?

Comments

entrance hall

[choosetruth]

[Georgia was coming in to write up her latest notes from the carnival. She was not expecting a stranger to come out of nowhere and fucking grab her.

Her expression doesn't change. When she speaks, her words are sharply clipped, each one enunciated fully.]

What's going on is that you will let go of me and take several steps back unless you want to lose that hand. [Her eyes drift over to his missing arm. That was probably not polite, huh? Well, he did grab her. He lost the right to politeness.] And it doesn't look like you've got a spare. Consider your next move carefully.

entrance hall

[oneagainstall]

[Gren would like nothing more than to throw down right now. Bigby didn't give that Crooked bastard the justice that Faith and Lily deserved. He feels cheated and angry, even more so now he's apparently somewhere else. He seriously considers for a moment just having at.

...But it probably wouldn't be wise. He doesn't know where he is, he doesn't know how many mundies are here, and he'd rather not face the chopping block for spilling the beans on the whole Fable deal. Which dropping the glamour and fighting his way out of here absolutely would. People would absolutely notice that.

Plus, he'd really rather not chance losing the other arm. She might not be as mundy as she looks.

His eyes narrow, before he roughly lets her go, taking a single step back, because he has to be a stubborn shit-heel about something here. ]

Happy? You gonna tell me where the fuck we are now? Did you nab me? [And something else slides into his mind, a cold, awful fear. ] Where the fuck is Holly?

[choosetruth]

Why the fuck would I nab you? I don't know you. Or anyone named Holly.

[She takes a few steps back, straightening her blazer and eyeing him suspiciously through her sunglasses.]

Do they have a book called Alice in Wonderland where you're from? Cause if they do this'll be a lot simpler to explain.

[oneagainstall]

I don't fucking know. I just found myself here and you're the first fucker I've come across. Not hard to put two and two together here.

[That is not a question he was expecting. Confusion crosses his features, before they become guarded again. Why does she want to know about Wonderland? Do she know something? Did the goddamn Tweedles send her?]

...Yeah? [More than that, much more than just the book, but he'll play his cards as close to his chest as he can here. ]

Bar

[jivitadana]

[Or just one of them, anyway. Minato sometimes, occasionally, stopped by to see if there was anyone there that he knew. Most of his friends he met here ran or visited the bars, so perhaps there was a chance that they were still there.

He doesn't expect them, but there's always hope. And perhaps the opportunity to run into someone new, like today. It's later in the evening, definitely after standard dinner time, when Minato was at one of the bars and heard him speak.]

What else are we supposed to buy?

[Just curious. He actually might be onto something, maybe.]

Bar

[oneagainstall]

[Gren rolls his shoulders in a shrug, taking a quick slug of his drink. ]

Fuck if I know. Any explanation would work better than 'this is fuckin' Wonderland'. I don't believe it.

[jivitadana]

[Minato nodded, rolling that around in his head.]

It isn't a dream, I can tell you that. Some people have been sent back, then returned here a couple times already.

[oneagainstall]

Don't sound much proof that it isn't a dream- that sort of bullshit sounds exactly what would happen in a dream. Weird crap happening with zero explanation, people vanishing them reappearing.

BAAAR

[scoutsniper]

[It's just beer for Frank, because anything stronger and he might lose his edge. Still, it's hard not to notice the guy who is putting off serious New Guy vibes. ]

No shit. This place is 100% bullshit.

Baaar!

[oneagainstall]

Tell me about it. Like who seriously hears some fucker tell them they're in Wonderland and go "oh sure, that's sounds fuckin' legit, better go have a cup of tea with the goddamn Mad Hatter".

[Not that anyone sane would do that with the actual Mad Hatter, but that's a thought he keeps to himself, instead opting for an annoyed scoff. ]

Sounds like most of 'em are happier accepting a bullshit answer instead of trying to find out what's actually got us here.

[scoutsniper]

[ Jesus Christ, finally someone who speaks some goddam sense around here. ]

Some of them don't want to go home.

Even after some of the bullshit here.

[oneagainstall]

[Now that's surprising. ]

No shit? What the fuck does anyone have here that they wanna stick around for? It might be pretty and magic and all that bullshit, but it's still a cage.

Bar

[screwedontight]

[Seth has given up on Lux for the time being. It's definitely not dark and dive like, and it also hosts Lucifer and his ex and some days, he needs other places.

Which had led him there, half way into a bottle of scotch and considering his options until this place went to Hell again.

So he's settled on a stool in his neatly pressed suit, tie perfectly knotted and both well turned out and heavily armed. Mostly focused on his drink even when he heard a voice.

That question though, it makes him laugh, a short, barking sound.]

No. We're supposed to accept that's the story they're playing, if only to give their charming little prison a theme they can use to toy with our heads.

It's their sleight of hand, a way to give us names without giving us the truth. It could have easily been the North Pole and our hosts Santa and the Easter Bunny. Course, none of it explains the crazy shit, but at least there's alcohol.

Bar

[oneagainstall]

[Gren eyes Seth carefully, noting the suit. Fancy. ]

Yeah, and they're just waiting for us to get to workin' in a toy sweat shop. Better work on our holly, jolly laughs.

[He's being sarcastic, but he knows Santa is absolutely real - though tends to only show up around his designated holiday because that's just how it goes. He's not sure on the Easter bunny. Probably down at the Farm. He chuckles, raising his glass. ]

Yeah, 'least that makes this whole fucking freakshow bearable.

Bar

[screwedontight]

Given some of the shit that happens during the so called events? I was actually waiting for that one this past winter.

[Which is sadly the truth. It had been one of the "fears" he'd had.]

There's worst places and things, but the way things are going it's only going to get worse. So there's that cheerful point to give you.

[He pauses, glancing sidelong at him.] You gotten any of the speeches? About events or the closets and shit?

Bar

[oneagainstall]

Events? What, like...a fucking Macy's parade or some shit?

[That would be a no on the events. He rolls his shoulders, exhaling. Things are going to get worse, of course they are. ]

Just my fuckin' luck. I get sucked into this shithole as everything is goin' down the crapper.

Hear the closets are magical. Give you stuff? Sounds shifty to me. Don't magic like that always got a price to it? That's how the stories go.

entrance

[thesamurai]

[ All things told, it's been a pretty good day, and while she's not sure this entire carnival thing isn't some kind of way to lull them into a false sense of security, she's still enjoyed the hell out of it.

With her katana strapped to her back.

With her free hand she swings back and grabs it, aware enough to not hurt him because he's apparently new, but she'll use it if she has to and brings it shy of his neck. ]

Get the fuck off of me. Now.

entrance

[oneagainstall]

[Perhaps, in hindsight, attacking the lady with the katana on her back was not the wisest choice he could have made that day. He takes a moment to decide how much he really wants to test if that thing can hack his head off or not. He realises that if he has to decide that at all, he should probably...not.

So, he roughly lets her go, raising his hand in a mix of apology and angered shake off. ]

Fine. What the fuck ever. What are you? Some sort of guard?

[thesamurai]

[ So far, this is going considerably better than someone trying to burn down the library after murdering someone in the confusion of being new.

Taking a step back, she eyes him warily, lowering her sword and watching him. ]

Someone who's been fucked with too many times. Especially here. You're new. No one here did this to you. No one you can get to, anyway.

Entrance

[middlefinger]

[Wynonna has had an okay week, not great but she's definitely had worse in Wonderland. She's still recovering from her sister's disappearance but she is recovering all the same -- and the carnival outside was definitely helping lift some of those spirits up for her. Candy, prizes, rides, and nothing was trying to kill them for once. She was heading outside to go explore it more when she feels someone grabbing her tightly, yanking her in closee and on instinct she's reaching into her holster and pressing Peacemaker into the guy's forehead with a snarl of her own. She doesn't take well to being manhandled.]

You're going to want to let me go if you want any answers out of me.

[oneagainstall]

[Oh goodie, a gun. Gren knows guns can't especially kill him - but he's still kind of sore after the whole shotgun to the face courtesy of whichever fucking Tweedle got the jump on him. He weight ups his chances, decides throwing down with someone who might or might not be mundy in a place he didn't know anything about wasn't a smart move- and lets her go. ]

Fine. Happy? You can get the goddamn gun outta my face now.

[middlefinger]

[Wynonna lowers her gun, placing it back into the holster. She has no intention in shooting anyone she doesn't need to -- but she doesn't take well to being manhandled.]

Did you really think that harassing people was going to get you anywhere?

entrance hall also, i feel like this is a match made in heaven

[wriggedywrecked]

[There is. Someone. Putting their hands on him. What in the entire actual fuck. Rick honestly looks more bewildered than angry for a moment because who? The fuck? Would be stupid enough to grab him?????]

[He stares at the offending hand grabbing him and then at the offending human-shaped-whatever it's attached to.]

Fuck if I know, but if you don't let me go a-a-and go find a Harrison Ford to bother, I'm gonna attach your dick to your arm stump s-so that every time you get a phantom pain you also g-get an accidental hard-on, is that fucking understood?

oh my god it so is

[oneagainstall]

[That- is quite the comeback, and it knocks Gren off guard for a moment. He blinks, before letting out a low chuckle. He's pretty sure the old guy can't follow up a threat like that- but if one thing has taught him from the past few days is just because someone looks like a harmless old codger doesn't mean they actually are one. ]

You know, I'd challenge you do do just that, but you got some real fuckin' conviction in your voice.

[And so, he lets Rick go. ]

Okay. How about this. You know where the fuck we are?

this is going swimmingly

[wriggedywrecked]

Then you're a wise m-motherfucker, because I've literally done that twice.

[Without anesthetic, no less.]

Y-You're in Wonderland, fucko. It's a pocket dimension. D-Didn't you get the pamphlet? They leave 'em right near the door I thought.