[OPEN | PARTY POST] i thought only fish have schools

[punful]

Who: Sans and YOU
Where: Sans's classroom and the teacher's lounge
When: 8/3-8/6
Rating: PG
Summary: Sans is a whip-poor-will and the laziest teacher at St. Pigeonations. At least he gives good grades.
The Story:

Teacher's Lounge

The teacher's lounge is pretty quality as teacher's lounges go. On lunch break? Need some time away from the students? This is probably the only quiet place in the whole school, and there's probably always some choice gossip at the water cooler. And the coffee here is way better than the canned stuff you can get at the student shop.

Sans spends more time in the teacher's lounge than he probably should. Usually he's just sleeping in between classes or avoiding doing actual work. He's got a reputation for sleeping a lot during the day, but can you blame him? His species is nocturnal after all. Maybe it's forgivable, though, since he is the guy who keeps the coffee pot constantly refreshed.

Feel free to find Sans here, asleep or not--or ignore him completely and just do teachery things amongst yourselves.


Physics Classroom

Sans-Sensei, or whatever, walks in probably a few minutes late.

"Okay class, today's a movie day. Gonna watch episode three of Cosmos and then discuss it or something, how's that sound?"

He queues up the episode pretty much before anyone can comment, turns the lights off and lets it play. He then settles at his desk and appears to go to sleep.

Feel free to talk over the episode, attempt to have an actual discussion with someone about physics, or try to wake up Sans and get him to actually do his job. You can also try to ask him about those odd rumors about how he was once a respected scientist working on something important and secret for the bird government. Or you can just cut class.


[ooc: threadjacking encouraged]

Comments

/casually breaks into the Teacher's Lounge

[kingtrousele]

Papyrus probably isn’t supposed to be in the teacher’s lounge. Probably. He’s still a frequent visitor, however, mostly to see his brother and to apologize to the other teachers about how lazy his brother is...plus, to get some help on his homework.

The sun is starting to set as the track team breaks for the day, but Papyrus still dashes into the school as if he didn’t just run for two hours straight. He skids towards the teacher’s lounge and rushes in, his eyes looking in all different directions. Chances are, his brother is probably in here, sleeping or something. When is he not sleeping?

“Sans?? Sans, you lazy bird!! Where are you??”

GOOD

[punful]

Sans, true to form, is settled on the couch in the back of the lounge, tucked into a corner and very much asleep. He wakes up with a soft sort of peep when he hears the door open, but he pretends to still be asleep until he hears his name.

He gives a stupidly huge yawn and fluffs his feathers.

"Oh, hey, bro. What time 'zit?"

[kingtrousele]

Okay, well, Papyrus is not surprised in the least to see that he’s still sleeping. As if he didn’t do enough of that in his own class. Honestly!! While, yes, he knows that his brother is more of the nocturnal type, there’s got to be a better time to get some shut eye than inside the school!

Papyrus just. Cranes his head down at Sans, squinting his little beady birdy eyes.

“It’s time to wake up!! Haven’t you slept enough already?? The sun is setting, practically everyone’s gone home!!! And!!!”

He gets out of his brother’s personal bubble for a moment to get into a wonderful, awesome pose, wings outstretched!

“I have finished my training at the track meet!!! I can feel myself being ten times more athletic!!!”

[punful]

He stretches his wings and yawns again.

"I'm super awake, bro. Might even stay up the whole night."

Probably not, though. He can never seem to stay awake for more than a few hours at a time. It's been a problem since he was a fledgling.

He grins up at his brother and hops off the couch.

"Aw, hey, I'm proud of you, bro. When's the competition again? Or d'you call it 'The Big Race'?"

[kingtrousele]

Papyrus doesn’t look convinced in the least.

“Uh-huh, sure you are.”

Chances are he’s just going to fall asleep at least three more times while heading back home!

In any case. He clears his throat to regain his composure and assumes a different pose.

“In exactly three days from now!!! The entire team’s been practicing day and night for this competition, and I am no exception!! In fact!!! I even scored my second-personal best while doing today’s practice run!!”

Papyrus is fantastic at athletics, but he’s still not exactly the top athlete in the school. He’s getting pretty close to their level, however! He’s not going to let being second best get him down!

“I can feel it, Sans!!! Right down to my feathers!!! I just need to push myself a little farther, and first place will be mine!!! And then, I will become…popular!!!!!”

Just the thought of being one of the popular birds in school makes his heart soar! He’ll get so many new friends he won’t know what to do with himself! This is going to be great!!!

[punful]

He just winks at his brother at that. Then sort of slides off the couch and smiles brightly.

"Hey, that's great to hear, bro. I'd say second personal best is cause for celebration. We could order a pizza or something. Anyway, you know I'll be there to cheer you on."

Even if he has to skip his own class to do it.

"You deserve it, bro. You're the coolest bird in the whole school."

Physics (plz threadjack)

[shslliar]

[Physics was Kokichi's favorite class.

He gets to goof off while the teacher's asleep. And by goofing off, we mean spread rumors about things that may or may not be untrue.]

So, you think this might be the day the Hawk Party's gonna bust into the classroom and drag Sans-sensei away?

physics

[slapfight]

[Peridot raises one of her lime green parakeet wings in an erratic manner.]

Um. Sans-sensei. When are you actually going to teach us about physics?

[She's that student.]

physics

[punful]

[He lifts his shoulders in a vague sort of bird shrug.]

Definitely tomorrow. Gonna talk about particles and waves. Gonna be great.

[slapfight]

You said that yesterday. And the day before. And then on Friday you almost gave us homework, but you remembered what day it was and decided against it.

[Someone in the back of the class yells BOOO and throws a balled up piece of paper at her.]

[punful]

Who on Earth would want to do homework over the weekend?

[No one! Absolutely no one!]

Is physics the thing you want to learn about, or do you just want a good grade?

[90% of the time it's about grades. No one's really all that interested in physics. Birds are too small to work particle accelerators.]

[...Maybe they should build smaller particle accelerators.]

[slapfight]

To keep me intellectually stimulated so my brain doesn't atrophy by Monday?! Everyone knows Monday is the least productive day of the week because everyone lazed about during the weekend.

[More papers hit her. She starts throwing them back.] I want a good grade that I've earned, so I can build smaller particle accelerators!

[Oh look, it comes back around.] Have you ever actually seen one? They're so... huge!

[punful]

Well, alright. I bet I could come up with some weekend homework, just for you.

[He actually is legit willing to teach kids who genuinely want to learn. One-on-one stuff like that is a lot less effort than trying to corral about twenty birds, most of whom would rather sleep through class or watch movies.]

I have, actually. I visited CERN once after the humans abandoned it.

[postictal]

[He suspects that he might have wandered into the wrong classroom. Physics? Does anyone really think that he's smart enough for this? But he also can't quite remember where he's supposed to be, or how he got here, which means he's had another memory lapse.]

[It's getting worse. Always is.]

[So while the quiet discontented rumble of a classroom ill at ease starts to hum up around him, Tim flutters awkwardly toward the teacher's desk.]

Um...hi. Do you...which physics class is this?

[punful]

[There's a big ol' bird fluttering toward him. Most of his own students are bigger birds than he is, but hey, it could be worse. At least he's not a kinglet. Or a hummingbird.]

[He yawns and straightens up a little, fluffing his feathers.]

Hmm, only physics class in school, last I heard. At least the only one that's not an AP course. You looking for the AP class?

[postictal]

I don't -

[I don't know. That sounds like the kind of thing a student would say as an excuse for tardiness, or because they've gone truant. So he does what he's best at, what he's had to become good at by nature: he lies.]

...yeah. I'm looking for the AP class.

[punful]

[Sans has a knack for telling when people are lying, but he's not at all looking for it right now. It's such a simple thing, too, so it goes right over his head. He's used to students lying about where their homework ended up or why they missed class.]

[So he just shrugs.]

Then you'll want Mrs. Beakman. Four doors down on the left. You'd better hurry, though. She's a stickler about attendance. You just transfer in, or...?

[The fact that he tells a guy to hurry and then delays him with a question also goes over his head.]

[postictal]

Yes, [he says, a little too desperately, because being a lost transfer student who's new at this is the acceptable kind of fuck-up that doesn't get you stared at. Because it's easier than admitting something like I actually have no idea how long it's been since I've been to class, or the fact that he recently woke up from what felt like a days-long blackout.]

[It's not something you just admit.]

I'm still...a little lost, I guess.

[punful]

[Poor guy seems so nervous. Sans gives him a bird smile, whatever the hell that looks like.]

Hey, don't worry about it. Transferring, going to a new school, it's stressful. Nerve-wracking stuff. It's okay to be nervous.

[Sans might be a pretty shitty teacher, and he knows it, but he does actually give a damn about the students. So he starts poking around in some of the papers on his desk.]

Here, I think I have a map of the school somewhere. And I can write a note to Mrs. Beakman explaining things.

[He finds the map and holds it out to Tim with his beak.]

[tattooedredheads]

[Kay (a red turtle dove) waits long enough to be sure the professor is asleep before he sneaks up to the front of the room. The rumors must have some truth to them, but he needs to find evidence before he can confront Sans. Maybe Sans carries some evidence with him. Kay won't get a better chance to find out, that's for sure! He checks to make sure Sans is still asleep before he reaches for one of the filing cabinets...]

[punful]

[Sans doesn't stir or open his eyes or give any indication that he's anything but asleep.]

...Those are confidential, yanno.

[tattooedredheads]

[Kay debates opening them anyway, but ends up pulling his wings away with a rueful smile. Just how did the Sans see Kay with his eyes closed?]

Just curious about 'em. Guess I woke you up?

[punful]

[Teachers are psychic, obviously. How else can they tell when someone is texting or chewing gum from across a room?]

You should save that curiosity for the pursuit of science. Did you need something?

[tattooedredheads]

[The real answer is no, which means it's time to invent an answer.]

I need to decide what to study in college. I'd like to know your thoughts on what would be a good field.

[He's the sort of student who soaks up knowledge like a sponge and enjoys studying. As a result, his grades are excellent. On the other hand, his behavioral record is less so. Especially after he broke into the principal's office last year and attempted to hack the computer. He only finished his punishment for that fiasco recently.]

[punful]

[The most dangerous kind of person is someone who's both smart rebellious.]

I'm probably supposed to say "physics." But physics is honestly kinda boring unless you get into the practical side of things. The sciences definitely need more birds. You have the grades to make it happen.

[He smiles wryly.]

Or maybe you'd be happier with something that involves detective work.