entrancelogs | + Guilt Runs Deep

+ Guilt Runs Deep

Who: Everyone!
Where: The Mansion
When: Feb 23-25
Rating: Please warn in top level subject lines for potential triggers/NSFW
Summary: Various residents are trapped in their own guilt, watching their guiltiest memory play on a loop.
The Story:

Welcome to the gathering post for the event. Please see the plotting post for more information + the bulletin board link. Have fun!

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There's a crowd gathered around Starlight in the midst of a little town. Everypony besides her is washed out, colorful, but not as brightly colored as Starlight is. They also all have stark black equal signs on their flanks where a cutie mark would usually be. And they're smiling. Big, happy smiles that don't quite reach their eyes.

Starlight looks different too. In addition to having the same equal sign cutie mark, she has bangs, and a certain poise and confidence she's since lost. This is a pony who knows she's right, even when she's wrong.

A yellow Pegasus pony steps out of the house they've gathered in front of. "Um, Starlight?" Fluttershy says. "I think we might have one more friend joining us today." Behind her, Twilight Sparkle, a purple Alicorn with wings and a horn steps out.

The crowd gasps. Starlight Glimmer steps towards her. "Is this true?"

Twilight steps forward hesitantly. "I-I think so. But I just want to be sure. If I agree to leave my cutie mark in the vault, I'll really be happier?"

Starlight gestures at the other ponies with a hoof. "Just look around! Equality has given us more happiness than you've ever known!"

Twilight nods. "And you wouldn't let me just live here in the village with my old cutie mark?"

"Out of the question," Starlight says. "A pony with a different cutie mark in our midst would destroy our entire philosophy. We are all equal here!"

"Then how do you explain this?!" Fluttershy, who while they were talking has quietly flown above Starlight, dumps a bucket of water on Starlight.

Starlight jumps away, but a drip still catches her. She glares up at the other pony. "I knew you couldn't be trusted!"

Another pony notices a bit of color hiding through and rubs her cutie mark with a rag.

Starlight leaps away, hiding her flank with her tail. "No! Get away!"

It's too late. The other ponies have seen, and they're gasping, staring at her.

Starlight starts to back away. "Wha... What are you looking at?! They're the problem, not me!"

The accusations start to roll in, coming from all sides. "How could you?"

"You said cutie marks were evil! You said special talents led to pain and heartache!"

"They do! Don't you see?! Look at them!" She points at Twilight and Fluttershy, and the other ponies that have stepped out behind them.

"Then why?" one of the other ponies says. "Why did you take ours and not give up your own?"

"I..." Starlight glances around, then steps forward, fear melting into anger in the blink of an eye. "I had to, you fools! How could I collect your cutie marks without my magic?!"

"But the staff has all the magic we need!" Another pony says.

Starlight scoffs. "The staff is a piece of wood I found in the desert! It's my magic that makes all this possible! You'd all still be living your miserable lives thinking you're better than everypony else if it weren't for my magical abilities!" She steps forward, eyes narrowed, slamming a hoof into the ground. "I brought you friendship! I brought you equality! I created harmony!""

You lied to us!" Says another pony.

Starlight backs off a little, anger sliding a little. "So what? E-Everything else I said is true! The only way to be happy is if we're all equal!"

"Except for you."

Twilight steps forward. "Everypony has unique talents and gifts, and when we share them with each other, that's how rea—"

Starlight turns towards her and snaps. "QUIET!"

One of the other ponies looks at her seriously. "You can't have a cutie mark, Starlight! Either we're all equal, or none of us are!"

Starlight looks around. Everyone's turned against her. They're stepping in closer and closer, crowding her. She raises a magical shield and presses them all away, then takes off running.

[Or just watch it!]

Sunburst has always been aware of what Starlight did. Hell, when they first reconnected again and finally fessed up to their respective pasts- she spilt this herself. It's brought up a lot amongst her friends, often joking or occasionally praising her on how far she's come since those dark days. So in a way, he always knew about this. About what she'd done.

Seeing it, however, is a whole other matter entirely. It doesn't help that he knows his actions lead her down this road. Into this way of thinking. In his time in Wonderland, he's been able to forgive himself for that, a little. But Starlight herself? Well, that's a whole other mess. He runs off after her, as best he can.

"Starlight, wait! This isn't-" well, he doesn't know what it isn't, but he can hazard a guess at what it is. "I think it's Wonderland? You- you remember Wonderland, right?"

Edited 2019-02-24 01:30 (UTC)

"Of course I remember Wonderland!"

And yet, she's still fleeing into her house, grabbing the jars with cutie marks--her friends' cutie marks, though they weren't her friends yet. Not that that made it okay.

"But this still happened!"

He'll stand in the doorway, shifting uneasily from hoof to hoof. He wants to help her with this, but he's also painfully aware that he put her in this position in the first place. Trying to absolve her of this almost feels two-faced.

"I. it's an Event. It's making everypony remember their guiltiest moments," he almost feels guilty for not really having any, what does that say about him, he wonders. "I... Star, you need to forgive yourself for this. To make it stop repeating."

"How am I supposed to do that? What part of this" She nods her head towards the angry ponies charging towards the door. "Is worth forgiving?"

He looks out at the scene before them, flicking his ears back and shuffling uncomfortably. Hmm. Hmm. He needs to give a good answer here. Some real Friendship Mission level stuff.

...Sweet Celestia he has no idea what he's doing.

"Because you learned from this. You became a better pony because of this," he frowns at all the angry ponies. "...I- I mean, it brought Twilight to you. It put you on the path you are now. I might not have ever seen you again if it wasn't for this. And Equestria would have been poorer for you not being with Twilight."

A pause.

"Like. Literally. We would have been under a Changeling regime," he sighs. "I know this is...bad. But you grew from it. And you made the world a better place moving forward from this."

“Does that make it okay? I hurt ponies.”

The jar of cutie marks in her hoof flicker. It’s a sad, pale replica of the way they flash when the Cutie Mark table calls them for a friendship mission. Like her mission has failed before it even began.

"No...I suppose it doesn't."

He is so not the best at this. He stares at the cutie marks, shuffling uneasily. He makes a few false starts, trying to find the right way to say this. To help her.

"But that's...okay? In...not being okay. It means you've learned from it. That you know that's not the way to deal with it," he glances skywards, thinking. "Sometimes, we mess up, and that's...okay. So long as we learn from it."

"I don't know how to be okay."

The ponies have stopped advancing, circling the house and staring in like an audience, like a jury, judging her for every misstep she's ever made.

In reality, the ponies from her old town had welcomed her back with open hooves. She still doesn't understand why. This, right here, is much more what she deserves.

"I'm learning. Twilight's teaching me. But I still have so much to learn and she's not here."

"I'm not convinced anypony...or anyone does. Not really."

Except maybe Pinkie Pie, but then again he's fairly certain Pinkie is certifiably insane and as such doesn't really count here. He moves to sit down, ears pinned, thinking.

"And you do learn, a lot. I- I know it probably doesn't mean much where you are now, but where I am? You've come so far, Starlight. You're teaching others friendship lessons. Without you, Equestria would have fared a lot worse, the last few skirmishes we had. Like the last one? You did better at friendship than Twilight did."

But no. Twilight isn't here. And Starlight isn't from that point in time.

"I- well, I'm here? I can...help? I guess? But honestly, you're better at this than I am. The being a better pony thing."

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+ Guilt Runs Deep

Starlight | ota

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