thisismadfreaky: (Default)

{Guilt reminds you to try better next time | Cisco Ramon | OTA

[personal profile] thisismadfreaky 2019-02-25 12:59 am (UTC)(link)
This room starts out innocently enough, Cisco with a toothbrush in his mouth-- and when he's done with the task, there's a message on the mirror.

it won't be long now.

I hope you talk less.


He frowns at it, the whole thing eerily familiar. Like maybe he's lived this before. He's lost enough in his thoughts that he doesn't realize he's moving in some kind of auto-pilot mode, scrawling his own message back.

What does that mean?


What follows is practically a montage of moments over the course of weeks, with Cisco, always in secret, talking to an unnamed and never seen Mirror. And as each clip plays through, Cisco realizes with a sickening clarity what's happening.

What do you think our world is like?


I guess I kinda picture everything in reverse, or like a negative photograph.


The whole thing comes off very sketchy and secretive, and as the moments continue on, and he realizes that there is no chance of stopping it or changing the course, he feels himself slipping further back into the place he had been at the time-- Scared, paranoid, desperate.

What's it like to have parents?


Mine weren't as bad as they could've been ... but they played favorites ... Being ignored and pushed aside isn't the best feeling.


sometimes it can feel like that for us ... it can be lonely when nobody's willing to listen.


Sympathy for the devil is a real thing. And with someone as openly emotional as Cisco, it can be all too easy to get under his skin and into his heart, with the right little nudges. Things like that stick with him, and then his feelings spill all over everything and take over every ounce of logic and common sense he has.


Things seem to escalate eventually, with a new warning:

Your Caitlin ... She's not the right one.


She had a trip home...things changed. But she's still Caitlin.


she didn't go home ... that's when they switched.


Tell her I'll find a way to get her back.



As if corroborating that particular story, another short-clipped message, this time in feminine handwriting says

I don't know how much longer I can hold on.


I'm working on it.
Just don't give up. Please.


His heart aches the same way it had when this played out in real time, during his last stay in Wonderland. Fear for his best friend's safety claws at him, but he knows this isn't any more real now than it ever was then.


Another shift leaves Cisco sitting at his (old) workstation in the (former) physics lab. Calculations appear from nowhere across chrome pieces on his table, some parts doubled over in ink darker than others, to show a specific set of changes to the originals and he pales as he stares at it, far too familiar to ever forget.

"No," he mutters, shaking his head. "Not this. I'm past this." He doesn't even know, exactly, what the event's parameters are-- just every certainty that there is one, and this is it, and it's making him repeat horrors of his past, for some unknown reason.


The scene shifts to another moment in the lab, others that occupy the space busy, while not quite at anything like a bustling pace, as Cisco slips in, apparently unnoticed. But it's easy to ignore the presence of a trusted ally in a place he's expected to be found at any given time, isn't it?

Fitz is distinctly missing from the scene, but no one else around at the time seems concerned as Cisco slides up to a computer and taps out a few minor, but hugely impacting, changes to a few of the calculations on the screen. He leaves seconds later, no one ever any the wiser-- nor worried in the least.


There's another skip and this time, the lab is alive with energy, final checks are being called off among them before Cisco turns to Fitz, "Ready?"

Fitz is found hunched over a desk, staring at a few different monitors that are lined up, different data points displayed across each screen. "Think smallscale. We just want to make sure it works--"


Suddenly, the blue-white portal is open in the doorway they'd constructed to contain the energy. Cisco is nowhere to be found, and there is a montage of scenes around the mansion with Mirrors pouring onto the Real Side, leaving chaos, damage, and destruction in their wake.



The first cycle is met with a well of confusion, no understanding of what's really happening, or more importantly, why he's suddenly reliving these moments again. But as it repeats again and again and again, realization dawns.

He thinks maybe the goal is to fix it, somehow. Getting a do-over isn't really the kind of thing that seems possible, but it does sound probably to the way Wonderland works at times. Cisco tries, over and over to change things--

He smudges the corrected calculations, in hopes he won't remember it later when he needs it and that he won't be able to make the changes.

He tries to walk out of the lab and go literally anywhere else in the mansion, only to find himself walking back in seconds later.

He tries to type a message for Fitz to find during the final checks later. CHECK THE CALCULATIONS. THEY'RE WRONG. IT'S MY FAULT. I'M SORRY.

But still, no matter what effort he puts in to make things go differently, he's only faced with Fitz reminding him to go smallscale, the portal being opened, and havock being released on Wonderland for a lie he--and his too trusting, too squishy heart--allowed himself to believe.

He tries different things in iteration after iteration, but in the end, he gives up, gives in. It's with a heavy heart that he quietly admits, "It's a fixed point in this reality... I- I can't change it." and lets his forced-autopilot take over, watching helplessly as it all continues to happen over and over again.
hypoxic: (you step on the sparks)

[personal profile] hypoxic 2019-02-25 06:07 am (UTC)(link)
[The doctor has been curious about this moment since his arrival. He's heard about it in whispers and half-truths, as well as some sensational network posts around the time. Watching it happen up close is something else entirely. It fills in blanks that were otherwise left undocumented. It makes him come in close, interrupting Cisco while he's at work at a computer terminal.]

That's the missing piece. You're Inhuman and he was helping you hide your status.

[Typical, really. It makes him want to vomit.]
thisismadfreaky: (Default)

[personal profile] thisismadfreaky 2019-02-25 08:29 pm (UTC)(link)
[He startles at the sudden, new presence in the room. He hadn't even noticed when he'd wandered in.]

M- We call ourselves metahumans, in my world. [The correction is a gentle one. Like the distinction really matters. Like this shell of his friend even cares.]

It was still new, I still barely understood what I was capable of then. [He turns in the chair toward the other man, his expression cooler than it might have been if he were still the same version of himself that had lived through all of this.] That's not really the case now.

[While it isn't a threat, nor is it leveled as one even in a secondary way, it might be seen as one from the perspective of someone who finds non-humans to be a threat.]

But it doesn't matter. [He waves one hand, indicating the room as a whole.] None of it matters. It's a fixed point in Wonderland's timeline and it can't be changed. [Thanks to his own world, and his understanding of how those things worked, that's the best explanation he's been able to sort out for himself, anyway.]
hypoxic: (someone who feels no pain?)

[personal profile] hypoxic 2019-02-26 08:28 am (UTC)(link)
But you're a teleporter. [If it's at all possible, he gives Cisco a more disdainful look than what he'd worn during their last conversation. Then, he'd been a person. Not a remarkable one, but still a person. Now, he's genetic garbage. Alien cellular structure. Something base and unworthy.] I dissected one of those once. Fascinating findings at the end of the autopsy.
thisismadfreaky: (Default)

[personal profile] thisismadfreaky 2019-02-26 06:38 pm (UTC)(link)
More or less. [It's a little bit more complicated than that, and Fitz knew that. But Cisco isn't so keen on sharing any finer details with this version of him than what he can glean from this living memory.

His face twists into something like horror and disgust at the idea.]
You're sick. What the hell is wrong with you?
hypoxic: (to listen to you lie)

[personal profile] hypoxic 2019-02-26 07:28 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, come now. Don't look so surprised.

[He moves through the space, pausing to sneer at the others gathered in the space. Weak, all of them.]

You all claim to be scientists. Do you mourn the rats required for safe testing? The good that comes from the research far outweighs the messes along the way.
thisismadfreaky: (Default)

[personal profile] thisismadfreaky 2019-02-26 07:49 pm (UTC)(link)
That's different. [Cisco doesn't move from where he's sitting, other than slowly spinning the chair to follow his movements around the room.] Metas-- Inhumans, whatever label you wanna throw on them, they're still people. And you're-- what, killing people, just to see how their insides tick differently than yours? It's not right.
hypoxic: (if you sink deep)

[personal profile] hypoxic 2019-02-26 08:18 pm (UTC)(link)
Is it? [He runs a finger along the edges of the other Fitz's desk and examines it, wrinkling his nose at the level of filth. So messy.] There are marked differences in genetic code. Inhumans are as genetically disparate from humans as men are from apes. It is a fallacy to take an inhuman, who are by definition complicit in alien invasion, and conflate it with a person.

[He looks back to Cisco then, pointedly.] You may as well be a chimpanzee toying with a typewriter.
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[personal profile] thisismadfreaky 2019-02-26 09:50 pm (UTC)(link)
You remind me so much of him. [His voice is quiet, a gravelly sound to it that wavers in the slightest way.

It's uncanny, really. It's almost just plain-old suspicious. Maybe whenever he gets out of this timeloop, he'll talk to Freya. That sounds like a good idea. It doesn't quite line up with the sort of thing Dr. Fitz would have done-- mingling with the lesser beings for stretches of months? Not really his style. But so many things about the man standing in front of him are so eerily similar, it's too comparable to miss.]

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adaptiveimmunities: (okay but)

[personal profile] adaptiveimmunities 2019-03-04 04:47 am (UTC)(link)
[Shaun wasn't present for most of this. He hadn't been here when the Mirrors had fucked with Cisco to get him to do what they wanted, and he hadn't been here when they'd opened the portal that had caused so much damage. He does remember stopping in beforehand with George to give Fitz shit for being a condescending asshole, but the rest is new to him.

Still, he remembers the event, and the chaos and destruction that had followed. Remembers finding out what had happened, and how, and who. He'd been pissed at the time. Had done some yelling.

But Cisco is his friend, and he's beat himself up enough about this.]


Accidents happen, man. People make mistakes.
thisismadfreaky: (Default)

[personal profile] thisismadfreaky 2019-03-11 05:29 pm (UTC)(link)
I know... [He sighs and turns toward the source of the words meant to comfort him. And maybe if the extent of that damage hadn't been so wide-spread, he could take that for all that it is. But as it stands, he's pretty sure there is still some echo of the wreckage he created that day in Wonderland now. It's a lot. He's not as wrapped up in his head about it, but the guilt still exists somewhere in the muddied mess of his mind.]

Most people don't make mistakes that big, though.
adaptiveimmunities: (Concerned)

[personal profile] adaptiveimmunities 2019-03-22 04:53 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah, well, most people have a smaller scale to work with. Big ideas, big mistakes. [He gives him a wry smile. He's certainly made enough of his own mistakes to feel like he has at least a little bit to say on the matter.]
thisismadfreaky: (Default)

[personal profile] thisismadfreaky 2019-03-25 11:01 pm (UTC)(link)
[Cisco manages a half-hearted smile of his own in return.] Yeah, I guess that's true...

[There's a pause and he debates the ask, but he's too curious not to--]

Were you stuck in one of these?
adaptiveimmunities: (Unhappy)

[personal profile] adaptiveimmunities 2019-03-26 04:11 am (UTC)(link)
[He grimaces.]

Yeah. Real good times, huh?
thisismadfreaky: (Default)

[personal profile] thisismadfreaky 2019-03-26 07:01 pm (UTC)(link)
The worst. [He wrinkles his nose a little. He won't be insensitive enough to ask what Shaun's room was-- that's just wrong. But he does pose a question.] How'd you get out?
adaptiveimmunities: (Unhappy)

[personal profile] adaptiveimmunities 2019-03-27 05:16 am (UTC)(link)
[He makes another face.]

The Wonder Twins talked me out of it after I did a few loops.

[Don't worry, Cisco. He volunteers his trauma.]

I wish they hadn't had to see it, though. I got a solid section of Oakland and a good friend killed. I know they're not actually twelve year olds anymore, thanks to Wonderland, but I still wish they hadn't had to see it happen. Hell. I wish I hadn't had to see it happen.
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[personal profile] thisismadfreaky 2019-03-28 01:00 am (UTC)(link)
Do you ever get the feeling that some variation of a 'rough life' is a requirement to end up here? [Because man, sometimes it sure seems like it. Everyone has such big tragedies somewhere or another in their pre-Wonderland histories.]

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choosetruth: (just to get bad news)

[personal profile] choosetruth 2019-03-04 06:50 pm (UTC)(link)
"Changing it wouldn't change that it happened." Georgia frowns. She's not sure if saying it helps or not, but she's never been especially focused on being helpful. She tells the truth. If it helps, it helps. If it doesn't... that can be helpful in its own way. "This is an event. It's not real."
thisismadfreaky: (Default)

[personal profile] thisismadfreaky 2019-03-11 05:25 pm (UTC)(link)
He turns to the familiar voice that was decided not a part of this scene, actually a little thankful for someone else existing in the room for a moment. "I know. I mean--" He sighs. "I know it's an event, but I guess I don't...get what the point is? I thought it would be to change the outcome, obviously that isn't working out." He waves a hand as if to indicate the whole dreamscape of the room.
choosetruth: (there's change coming once and for all)

[personal profile] choosetruth 2019-03-19 01:13 am (UTC)(link)
“You mean it’s not obvious?” She supposes it wouldn’t be if he’s stuck in here and hasn’t been able to hear network posts about what exactly this event is supposed to do. Then again, it seemed pretty obvious to her even before she knew for sure. “It’s torture.”
thisismadfreaky: (Default)

[personal profile] thisismadfreaky 2019-03-19 03:06 pm (UTC)(link)
Torture is....a word for it, sure. A really harsh one, thanks, Georgia. "Ah, the good old psychological torture. A real favorite. Classic Wonderland." His voice is dripping with sarcasm. He hates everything.
choosetruth: (a new world is gunning for you)

[personal profile] choosetruth 2019-03-21 04:44 am (UTC)(link)
"There was a note about it on the network." She holds up her phone. "Mazikeen. Apparently this is literally her world's version of hell."
thisismadfreaky: (Default)

[personal profile] thisismadfreaky 2019-03-22 01:51 am (UTC)(link)
"I'm in Hell?" He blinks and tries to process that for a long moment. Did he really, by any world's definition, deserve to be in Hell?! How is that more stressful than being stuck in a Groundhog Day event of his worst guilt-inducing memory, somehow?
choosetruth: (nothing can break us)

[personal profile] choosetruth 2019-03-22 02:25 am (UTC)(link)
"You're in Wonderland's approximation of a specific world's hell." She still doesn't quite believe in hell as far as her own world goes. Mainly because she can't imagine it's worse than being on Earth.
thisismadfreaky: (Default)

[personal profile] thisismadfreaky 2019-03-25 10:57 pm (UTC)(link)
"Right." He nods a little, taking that comment in and letting it mull over a bit. Actually, Georgia's very specific wording helps add just that little more separation to the situation.

"Okay, so-- what, I'm just supposed to forgive myself?" How does that even work? Is it a feeling of peace? Does he have to say something to confirm it? Wonderland, why are you like this?

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