+ Guilt Runs Deep

[vitaelamorte]

Who: Everyone!
Where: The Mansion
When: Feb 23-25
Rating: Please warn in top level subject lines for potential triggers/NSFW
Summary: Various residents are trapped in their own guilt, watching their guiltiest memory play on a loop.
The Story:

Welcome to the gathering post for the event. Please see the plotting post for more information + the bulletin board link. Have fun!

Comments

[bloodmagics]

[After the insanity of the battle and the immediate fallout, the scene is oddly quiet before the loop resets itself and begins the torture anew. Hawke is left holding his mother's corpse and trying to process everything that happened, everything that was his fault.

It isn't the hand on his shoulder that draws his attention, no.]

... H-hey, Nathaniel. Not used to hearing you say that.

[noble_son]

It felt like the right time.

[Nathaniel doesn't think he's ever used Hawke's first name before. He's always known it, but it never felt right to use it. Here, though, seeing him broken over the body of his mother...

Calling him 'Hawke' just feels too detached.]

What happened here?

[bloodmagics]

[He smiles, but it's brittle.]

My mother... She found a suitor. She was happy, you know? [His voice cracks a little.] I hadn't seen her like that in years.

[noble_son]

[He shifts, moving his weight into a slightly more comfortable position. While he's really trying not to stare, he can't help but look at the way the body in Hawke's arms is held together. Stitches and magic and little else.]

And then what..? How did it come to this?

[bloodmagics]

We thought she was out with him, so when uncle Gamlen said she was late to meet him, we didn't think too much of it.

[Also because Gamlen is the worst.]

A few women had disappeared in Kirkwall lately, but you never think it could happen to someone you know.

[noble_son]

No... you never do.

[He gets a flash, just for a moment, of poor Adria. You never think it's going to happen to somebody you know.]

But this... it isn't your fault.

[bloodmagics]

No? I'm the eldest, the one that's supposed to take care of everyone. [A beat.] The one that was supposed to save everyone.

[noble_son]

[Ah, the eldest sibling guilt.]

Garrett. You can't--... you can't save everyone. [He places a hand on his friend's shoulder, a faint tightness rising into his throat.]

... Believe me. I know.

[bloodmagics]

[Hawke laughs, but it's far from a happy sound.]

Tell that to the people of Kirkwall. [A pause. A long, quiet, impossible pause.] ... Tell that to her.

[His eyes flick downwards.]

[noble_son]

[He doesn't want to make this about him, and he's conscious of how it sounds when he speaks. His words come out carefully, almost haltingly.]

I would have liked to have told it to everyone who suffered under my father, too. [No, this isn't about him, but it's some kind of common ground.]

This isn't... You couldn't have predicted this. Any of this.

[bloodmagics]

[He gets what Nathaniel is doing, and if he were of sound mind right now, he might appreciate the attempt.]

I knew there were was monster out there hunting down the women of Kirkwall. I could've stopped him before -- Before any of this!

[He lets out a shuddering breath.]

There had to have been something I could do...

[noble_son]

What could you have done, Garrett.

[It still feels strange, calling him by that name, but this isn't the situation for formalities.]

What could you have done, that you didn't?

[bloodmagics]

I could've saved her.

[There's no logic to it, and some distant part of him is aware of that but... It's not exactly being listened to right now.]