itsahotone: (plotplotplot)
Santana Lopez ([personal profile] itsahotone) wrote in [community profile] entrancelogs2012-05-24 08:57 pm

She thought he wasn't interested--until he said he would have to sex-ray her entire body!

Who: Santana, and anyone else your little heart desires.
Where: Everywherrrrre, muhahaha!
When: ...Thursday, I guess. It can go on as long as you want, baby.
Rating: R/nc17 for language. Don't blame ME, blame the magazine.
Summary: Santana's bored, so she's leaving Cosmo magazines around for everyone to find. Check out the sex tips!
The Story:

Look, a girl needs to find her own entertainment around here.

Don't ask how she got the idea, but since it was a brilliant and amazing one, she's just gonna go with it.

Post-event is always boring, so she's just gonna liven it up! That's all. It's helpful.

So she spends some time getting a bunch of issues of Cosmopolitan from the closet, then she spends way more time than needed going through them. She highlights and circles and even draws some arrows to the best parts, things that say stuff like:

Try this kinky trick: Color your nipples with a crazy-colored lipstick, like sparkly purple. Bonus points if it's yummy. He'll love the shocking, sexy change in scenery!

"I dated this guy who tasted really funky down there, but I didn't want to confront him about it. So I told him I was going to suck on a strong mint while going downtown to give him a tingly sensation... which he loved."

Wrap a belt around each of his thighs. This will push more blood into his penis, making his erection feel even harder.

Give yourself goose bumps by sweeping a new, clean toothbrush over the curves of your neck and collarbone.

This featherlight touch will have you both tingling: While still kneeling between his legs, dab flavored lube on your nipples. Then cup one of your breasts in your hand, and slide the top of your nipple from the bottom of his testicles to the tip of his shaft, circling the head and then sliding it back down.

Look at him as you run your chin from his chest to his crotch.

Put lube on your nipples, then trace circles on his bare back.

Flutter your eyelashes against his boys for a sweet little tease.

Have him squeeze lube onto his penis, then swirl your body over his shaft to spread it.

Keep a glass of ice water on the bedstand, and once you've both climaxed, take a drink, holding and swirling the cool liquid in your mouth before swallowing. Then immediately envelop his balls with your lips, one at a time.


...And etc etc.

Once that's all done, she goes around the mansion, all floors, indoors and out, and places the magazines in random areas. Some are open, some aren't. It's like an easter egg hunt, only hopefully with a lot more confusion and chaos!


[if you wish to actually speak to Santana, just make it clear in your tags, otherwise she's not around once your darlings find this magical and 100% correct advice.]
insidethechimney: pinkie pie is in thought (is stealing ten cakes really so bad)

santana pls come confuse pinkie further

[personal profile] insidethechimney 2012-05-25 01:03 am (UTC)(link)
Whilst bouncing around the mansion (yes, that is what she does in her free time) Pinkie came across a scrap of paper. Hoping it was a treasure hunt clue, she picked it up and read:

"I dated this guy who tasted really funky down there, but I didn't want to confront him about it. So I told him I was going to suck on a strong mint while going downtown to give him a tingly sensation... which he loved."

Now, that was a pretty hard puzzle to solve, but Pinkie figured it out. Clearly, there was a secret passage which could only be passed underneath a smelly guy's room by using the secret password of mint. But whose room might this be? She hadn't met anyone smelly here.
hamburellakind: (Feet shuffling cheeks blushing)

[personal profile] hamburellakind 2012-05-25 01:08 am (UTC)(link)
John can take a hint sometimes. Like, you know. Right now. When a bunch of really specific sex advice is circled in the magazines scattered around the mansion. And Dave was talking about getting comfortable with the sex and stuff...

Uhhh, hm. He better take some of these, huh? Especially since most of them are circled in red pen...

John's gathered a stack of about six of them when he starts heading back to his room.
insidethechimney: pinkie pie is happy. she does that a lot (a new friend)

YAAAAAY

[personal profile] insidethechimney 2012-05-25 01:26 am (UTC)(link)
But Pinkie does want to talk to Santana. So over she trots.

"Hey, Santana! I've got this treasure map clue. Maybe we could find it together?"

Oh, innocent little Pinkie.

[personal profile] insidethechimney 2012-05-25 01:56 am (UTC)(link)
"Well, more of a treasure clue. So which colt here smells the mostest?"
masukukunai: (life handed us a paycheck)

[personal profile] masukukunai 2012-05-25 02:13 am (UTC)(link)
"Augh, Christ!"

Yousuke is trying, oh boy is he trying, to get to the kitchen without having to look at any of these horrible sex advice columns, but that's becoming more and more impossible as he gets closer to the higher-traffic areas in the mansion. Stumbling around with his hands over his eyes is only causing him to run into things.

Who in the world would do something like this? He just wanted a sandwich! He doesn't want to think about anyone's icy mouth on his balls!!!

[ANYONE PLEASE TAG!]
Edited 2012-05-25 02:14 (UTC)
brainkegger: ((Buck) Well alright alright)

oh dear i am sorry i just had to

[personal profile] brainkegger 2012-05-25 02:21 am (UTC)(link)
Buck's not exactly thrilled about all the Cosmo's all over the place, but the rare picture of a booby getting checked out for cancer kind of makes a glance worthwhile. He hasn't really gotten around to restocking his porn collection since he got to the mansion, after all. A man gets what he can get.

He has to snort a little when he sees the scarred little boy runnin' through the mansion like a chicken with its head cut off. It's about the funniest darn thing he's seen in this darn place. "Y'alright there, son?"
insidethechimney: (amused)

[personal profile] insidethechimney 2012-05-25 02:31 am (UTC)(link)
"Oh, right. Human. Uh...which guy is the stinkiest?"
masukukunai: (say what?)

lol oh dear God this is choice

[personal profile] masukukunai 2012-05-25 02:40 am (UTC)(link)
Yousuke jumps a bit when he hear an odd voice. There was a female pitch, but sounded male-- He turns around and uncovers his eyes to see... Well, he's not sure what he's seeing right now. He tilts his head in obvious confusion, but tries to find words to say.

"Uh, yeah. It's just," he turns his head, and bam, there's another one. He tears it off the wall and throws it behind his shoulder before he can read it, "these things are all over the place. I can't even get lunch..."
brainkegger: ((Buck) Well alright alright)

bwhaahahahaha

[personal profile] brainkegger 2012-05-25 02:48 am (UTC)(link)
"They're stupid as hell, I'll giveya that." Buck nods, peering at one over the top of his glasses. The thing is just chock fulla grade-A bullshit. But some of it oughta be worth a try. If only his junk hadn't been shot off in 'Nam.

"It ain't all bad, though. Heheh, look--" Buck holds up a page with a women modeling some rather tasteful lingerie. "Tits!"

[personal profile] insidethechimney 2012-05-25 03:05 am (UTC)(link)
"Look at the clue!" Not that Santana has much choice with it shoved in her face like that. "He's stinky underneath his bed. Which means we've got to rescue the treasure from there where no-pony dares to tread!"
masukukunai: (ooc! - he deserves it)

[personal profile] masukukunai 2012-05-25 03:17 am (UTC)(link)
"Ahhh, don't show me that!"

You can't look at stuff like that in public! Sure if it were under someone's bed or hidden in a closet, but... This stuff was worse than porn, it was honest-to-goodness sex!

Teenagers have weird standards.
insidethechimney: (wut)

[personal profile] insidethechimney 2012-05-25 03:19 am (UTC)(link)
"What else would it be? Cleaning instructions?"
brainkegger: ((Buck) Wat the wat)

[personal profile] brainkegger 2012-05-25 03:25 am (UTC)(link)
Stare.

Staaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaare.

"What're you, gay?"
masukukunai: (what is this I don't even)

[personal profile] masukukunai 2012-05-25 03:37 am (UTC)(link)
Yousuke's pause after Buck asks that should be evidence enough.

[personal profile] insidethechimney 2012-05-25 03:38 am (UTC)(link)
"For what? Does that mean no treasure?"
brainkegger: ((Buck) Well I dunno)

[personal profile] brainkegger 2012-05-25 03:45 am (UTC)(link)
Staring some more.

"Oh."

Buck decides he is okay with this.

"My, uh. My son's gay." That's probably the easiest way to explain that, yeah. "Well, he ain't outta the closet or nothin' but, y'know. He's really gay."
masukukunai: (lost the plot)

[personal profile] masukukunai 2012-05-25 03:50 am (UTC)(link)
Yousuke's never actually had this conversation with anyone before. He's trying to find a way to explain this too.

"I, uh," was he in the closet? What exactly did this metaphorical closet entail? "I like girls. I just have a... a boyfriend, right now."

Is that right? He has no idea.
brainkegger: ((Buck) I wouldn't know what to say about)

[personal profile] brainkegger 2012-05-25 03:52 am (UTC)(link)
Buck squints. Part of his brain totally doesn't get that, and the other part is fully aware of the fact that he never went to Vietnam and the business he has downstairs is, in fact, a vagina. So in a weird way, he's gone both ways too. Right?

The thought almost makes him want to transition to avoid thinkin' about it. He manages to hang on, though, but just barely.

"Yeah, well, there ain't not shame in that. Just. Be true to yourself or whatever the fuck."
masukukunai: (the humor in being genuine)

[personal profile] masukukunai 2012-05-25 03:57 am (UTC)(link)
"...You know, that works for me too."

That feels a lot better than he thought it would. It's not so hard! He manages a twitchy smile and points towards the kitchen.

"Want a sandwich?"

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